Chapter 27

27

Mike didn’t lay into me right away, as I expected him to. He didn’t fly off the handle and demand an explanation. Good, steady, dependable Mike. I’d probably just lost him forever as a friend.

He turned to the two second-year boys, older than him, and straightened to his full height, donning the mantle of Crown Prince in a way I’d never seen him do before. Magic crackled in the air around him, his eyes glowing.

“Is there a problem?” he asked politely but firmly.

And it wasn’t his student voice. A monarch spoke then. Someone neither boy would dare argue with. The taller one ducked his head and hid his expression with his hair.

“Sorry. We, ah…we thought she was someone else. Our apologies, Prince Michael.” The shorter one fumbled a sort of bow and they both bolted away.

I shook my dagger back into a hand with a flash of heat to accompany the magic and held it behind me.

Mike watched them until they were out of sight. Then turned to face me with his eyebrows raised. “You can transfigure?” The color had leached from his normally sun-kissed skin and he ran a hand through his hair, letting out a harsh laugh. “Say something, Tavi. Don’t just stand there and look at me.”

I didn’t expect to hear the hurt in his voice. What could I say to defend myself? Literally nothing.

At once the tables had turned and Mike was the one vacillating between upset and anger. Trying to decide how this would go between us. And I was the one trying to figure out how to smooth things over.

It’s not what it looks like.

Yeah, in this case, he’d seen the truth. It was exactly what it looked like.

I shrugged again to hide how I wanted to squirm in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Mike, I—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he barked.

I worried my lip, knowing if I told him the truth it might get me kicked out of the school. “I wasn’t sure what you would say. Please, you can’t tell anyone about what you saw.”

His laughter sounded close to hysteria. “You think I would? Tavi, you’re my friend. Friends aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other. I would never tell anyone because it would hurt you. But it hurts me that you didn’t feel safe telling me your secret.”

“It’s not that I didn’t feel safe,” I tried to tell him.

“You didn’t trust me.” Mike had turned his face away, his arms over his chest, his grin strained. The lightness in his tone rang false. I saw beneath it to the frustration boiling there. Frustration and insult.

“I do trust you,” I said, staring at his profile and hating the strain in his lips, the crease between his eyebrows, because I knew I’d put it there. Not on purpose, never on purpose.

“You have to know I would be there for you, whatever you need, the way you’ve been there for me. I…I have feelings for you.”

My thoughts went still and when I could finally take a breath without my lungs convulsing, I said, “Wait. You do?”

He looked at me and nodded. “Yeah, I do. I thought I made it pretty clear. Just like you’ve made it clear there are pieces of you I’m not entitled to know about.”

“I’m sorry, Mike, it’s…well, you know. Transformation is a big deal.”

He looked me over with an odd stare that went over my head. I felt my cheeks blush.

“Well, of course it is! You should have come and talked to me about it. I mean, if you’re practicing an archaic magic not allowed at the academy, then there has to be a good reason for it. A reason you kept to yourself. And it really sucks you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

I blinked. Wait a minute. “It’s not just an archaic magic,” I insisted.

“It didn’t come up on your magic test. Did it?”

“What else do you know about transfiguration?”

Ike let out a measured breath and stiffened. “I know it’s hard to master. It’s rare, rarer than cognitive manipulation. An ancient magic most Fae do not use.”

“Anything else?”

“What is this really about?” he asked.

Okay, small mercy. Mike doesn’t know I’m a shifter. But I couldn’t let out a breath yet. A chill rushed up my arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I really am. I wasn’t sure how you would react to it and I didn’t want anything to change the way you thought about me.” Truth. Not the entire truth, but enough of it.

You could cut the tension with a knife. Suspicion crawled up my spine the longer he stared at me and my heart squeezed. In the time I’d known Mike, he’d struck me as warm-hearted, kind, compassionate to all he met. Now he was cold at the edges. Ready to tear apart my perception of him in an instant.

Mike continued to stare at me as though he wasn’t sure where to go with this conversation, what to think, what to say to me.

“It seems like we’re not on the same page this year,” he said at last.

I froze, unsettled by the harsh edge to his voice. “Maybe we’re just struggling to figure things out. But I have feelings for you too, Mike.” It was terrible to admit. Terrible and necessary. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I continued.

“Those boys looked like they wanted to hurt you.”

Though I was quickly becoming skilled at disguising my emotions, I couldn’t hide them from Mike. “Yeah, the tall one’s brother is the same one who attacked me the other night.”

“Are you serious?”

“Sadly, I am serious. I guess he had words for me, words other people shouldn’t hear.”

Mike held out a hand. The smile I’d been waiting for finally flashed across his face, accompanied by a glint of white teeth. “Come on. I’m done being mad at you.”

Thank goodness. “Where are we going?”

“To get a snack before we move on to our oral exams.” Mike sighed and from the corner of my eye I saw him worrying the inside of his cheek. I could still feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head, so I took his hand and let him lead me toward the cafeteria. I pretended to be hungry. Even though I’d completely lost my appetite.

* * *

The snack I forced myself to eat helped a bit, but not enough for me to stop thinking about what had happened with those boys. And with Mike. It was another layer for me to work on peeling back. After exams, of course. My mind spun like a kaleidoscope on a merry-go-round.

The afternoon hours were slated for our oral exam, a one on one experience between teacher and student. I waited my turn to be called into the room on the second floor. Trying not to bite my nails. Alone, I kept watch for any more surprises.

What kind of questions could they possibly ask one on one they hadn’t asked on the written part of the exam? Melia spoke mostly about the comprehensive and practical portions of the test.

With nothing to go on, I waited.

My name was called finally and I stepped inside, the door closing automatically behind me. I nearly died on the spot when I saw Hoarfrost waiting for me behind the desk. I took a half step backwards under the sudden onslaught of nerves.

His ice-colored eyes speared me in place, clear and cold like the depths of a glacier as he pointed to an empty seat in front of him. “Sit down, Miss Alderidge,” he barked.

The end is here, I thought sadly, making my way toward him on stiff legs. The universe had a sick sense of humor. I plastered on my best professional face and did as he asked, slipping into the chair and facing him.

Any outburst would only shatter against his steel-like composure, and I wondered which one of us would start the screaming match this time around.

For the longest time we were silent. Staring each other down like two pugnacious wrestlers ready to face off in the ring. I didn’t want to speak first. I didn’t want to blink.

At last, Hoarfrost drew in a breath, and without looking down at the papers in front of him asked me my first question. “What is the best magical counteraction to an opponent using fire against you?”

It took me a moment to get my bearings. To draw my voice out from where it quivered in fear at the bottom of my shoes. “Ice,” I said at last. “The two elements are polar opposites and cancel each other out.”

He barked out his second question, rapid-fire. “What are the elements of life?”

“Water, earth, fire, air.”

“Titania, the original ruler of the Seelie Fae, met Oberon her mate and finalized their marriage in 570 AD. True or false?”

Everyone else thought the two Fae rulers were nothing more than fictional characters in a Shakespearean play. We’d been taught the truth.

I expected to stumble into a trick at any moment, but I knew the answer to this one. “Wrong. I-I mean false. Titania and Oberon have been together since time immemorial and no one has seen them in the last thousand years. There is no fixed date for the formalization of their marriage.”

Hoarfrost made a notation on the piece of paper in front of him. I couldn’t see what he wrote, nor did his face chance to indicate I’d given a right or wrong answer of any satisfaction. He maintained an expression of bitter indifference, giving nothing away.

“What crystal is generally considered the best for grounding and protection? Limit your answer to the one you feel is correct.”

Only one? If I had to choose— “Hematite,” I told him. “Hematite crystals are thought to pull any stray negative energy in the aura to the root chakra where it neutralizes harmful effects by balancing and aligning all seven chakras.”

Did he see how I shook?

“And how do the Fae commonly use this crystal?”

I answered his questions to the best of my ability although they covered a gamut of topics, from crystals to herbs to history to spells on how to stop flatulence, which I thought he made up on the spot and I still tried to answer correctly.

Most of the questions I nailed. I knew it, he knew it, and although he remained sitting placidly in his seat, he developed a small tic at the left corner of his icy blue eyes. He spoke faster, harsher, throwing trick questions at me repeatedly.

Still, I had the sneaking suspicion he was going to fail me regardless. He’d already made it clear how he felt about me personally, and no matter what I did—or didn’t do—I knew it wouldn’t be enough to change his mind. Things hadn’t gotten any better in class although I’d tried to follow Professor Marsh’s advice and keep quiet. Keep to myself.

Hoarfrost and I trod a very fine line between apathy and open hostility. As far as a student and teacher relationship, we had none. After what felt like hours, he seemed to reach the end of his seemingly endless form before he snarled, “Why do you think you deserve citizenship in Faerie, Miss Alderidge?”

Oh. My. Lord. Was he really going to ask me that? I felt my face blanch.

“Well? Impress me.”

His voice was rigid as iron and although I’d seen him angry at me many times before, this time he lacked even the thinnest veneer of peacekeeping.

He stared me down, waiting for an answer. An answer I wasn’t sure how to form, what he expected, or how to give him what he wanted.

Did I tell him what I thought he wanted to hear? Or did I give him the truth? How did I walk this tightrope without falling off?

My hands knotted on my lap.

“I’m not going to give you a sob story,” I began, “although I could if I wanted to. I didn’t have a happy childhood and I lost my parents at a young age because they were different. I lived my life on the fringes because I’m different, too. I have struggled to make my way here and I did it on my own in order to escape a bad situation.”

I raised my gaze to meet his and held it although it burned something in my insides.

“Professor Hoarfrost, I deserve a place in Faerie because I’ve earned it. I work hard, I do what needs to be done, and I care about my friends. I would do anything for the people I love, which is an asset to any people or place. I’ve fought tooth and nail, literally, to stay at this school and no one wants it more than I do. I’m prepared to always do what is necessary to protect my family. And my family is in Faerie.”

I didn’t tell him who, not when my mind went inexplicably to Mike. To Melia. They would be there, and I’d made an oath to stick by their side. I didn’t tell Hoarfrost about Kendrick Grimaldi, lest he put two and two together or think I was trying to buy his sympathy. I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want anything from him beyond a passing grade, not even his respect.

“I’m a fast learner. I’m good at magic. I have a power I can use as an asset.”

Did he want me to go on?

“I deserve my place in Faerie because of who I am,” I finished. “Because I’m enough.”

Falling silent, I watched him make a final note on his paper. He didn’t say anything, merely flicking a finger at me, pointing toward the door. My cue to leave. He didn’t look impressed with me. At all.

I walked out of the room in a daze, my thoughts fractured in a million pieces and all of them wondering if I’d done well enough to pass. I wouldn’t put it past him to take points away for the smallest wrong word in any of my answers.

If I failed…if Hoarfrost didn’t give me a passing grade for the oral exam, then I’d be out.