Chapter 25

25

My emotions were shredded. Fear and panic and guilt chewed at me, hard. A constant punch to the gut. I walked back to the castle with a hand pressed to my stomach, then my mouth, as though my crazed laughter would spill out and alert everyone to what I’d done.

The laughter turned into panicked breaths when I made it back to the dorm and found everyone asleep. I waited through the darkness into the morning in a constant state of dread for word to spread that the Augundae Imperium was missing. And might have had a heart attack when, at the end of several weeks, nothing had happened.

Not a damn thing.

Which meant my manipulation was still in effect. I wasn’t sure if I should be proud of myself—or terrified of what would come next.

During those several weeks I’d kept to myself more than usual, studying and preparing for the final round of competition among the first-years while trying not to go insane.

The end games. Fifty students competing for the final thirty-five spots.

At last, the final competition arrived and I hadn’t been able to eat. It was an all-day event the whole school watched, testing divided into three categories: written, oral, and practical.

I needed perfect marks in each event to ensure I secured my spot at the academy for next year, no room to leave anything to chance anymore. Especially not with the things I’d done.

Melia stood in front of my bunk and grabbed my face with both hands. Turning me so I had no choice but to face her. “Hey. Look at me.”

I forced a smile for her benefit, my teeth grinding together. “I’m looking at you.”

“Are you paying attention?” she questioned.

“Of course I am. I’m making direct eye contact, aren’t I? You know I’m not so good at the multitasking business.” Dressed all in black, dark and grim, I felt like death walking on two legs. Or I would be the moment I made it off my bunk. For some reason, all I wanted to do was crawl back beneath my sheets and make a fort. Then stay there the rest of the day.

Then Melia said something unexpected, her gaze softening. “I spoke to my human family. My uncle and his new wife? And they’re willing to welcome you into our home for the summer. I know you don’t have anywhere to go, you can’t go back to your own home, and Uncle Russ is happy to welcome you into his. I mean, I won’t be there, but I’ll write to you every day.”

Floored by her kindness, I stared at Melia. Her grip lightened until her fingers stroked my shoulders, trying to soothe the tension in my muscles. My pulse drummed and thundered through every vein, every artery. I could hardly comprehend what she said and I wanted to cover my face before Melia saw me crying.

“Well? Say something,” she urged.

After the awful things I’d done this semester…I didn’t deserve it. Flushing, I raised my head. “Thank you.”

She let out a breath. “I mean, at this point you’re family, Tavi. I want to make sure you’ll be okay when I’m gone. And then it won’t be long before you’ll join me in Faerie. We can start a new life over there.”

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her neck in a hug. Then crushed my eyes shut at the terrible wave of remorse flooding over me. Remorse and, God help me, gratitude. “I don’t know how I can repay you.”

“Repay me?” Melia scoffed and tightened her hold on me. “Why would you ever need to repay me? It’s what families do for each other.”

“I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“Then it seems like we’re going to have to sit down and talk about your lack of self-love, girl. You definitely do deserve kindness. You’re a good person, Tavi. Maybe a little misguided when it comes to certain artifacts and certain witches, but you did what you had to do to survive. Guilt does no one any good. It eats at you from the inside.” She drew back and kissed me on the cheek. “I thought this might be a good boost for you, to get you through the exams. It will give you something to look forward to.”

I had been worried about where to go after the semester, and I’d meant to ask Professor Marsh if students were allowed to stay at the school during the summer or if we were forced to find other accommodations. Melia answered the question for me and given me, yes, something to look forward to.

“You’re an amazing person.”

The bright sunlight and blue sky outside the windows was nothing compared to Melia’s smile. She practically glowed. “You can sing my praises later. After you kick ass on this final test. Just remember everything I taught you.”

For a moment, Melia’s words bolstered me. I wasn’t an optimist by nature, not like her, but if my mentor believed I would make it through these tests, then I would believe it too. A way to pass, to stay alive and protect myself.

“Blank mind, focus, and everyone else can go eat dirt.” But my stomach swooped like I’d crested the big drop on a roller coaster.

“Right.” Melia’s smile grew. “It’s the only way to win. If you worry about what everyone else is doing then you’re bound to stress and forget what you know. You’ve got this. You already have the information inside your head and then some. I mean, girl.” She leaned closer to whisper. “You broke through wards and spells set in place by Fae hundreds of years older than you. You’re not my mentee for nothing.”

I smiled and zipped up my black jacket, then climbed down the ladder to the floor. The professors had sent around a school-wide notification that we were allowed to dress in our regular clothes today. Something about wanting us to be comfortable. I’d chosen black on black, athletic leisure wear, because it’s what I used to put on before shifting under the full moon to run with my pack. It brought back not only a sense of nostalgia but of confidence, a power I only tapped into when I was in my wolf form.

I’d never spent time in the gym before. In fact, until today, and with Melia leading the way, I hadn’t even known the castle had a gym. Physical education classes were introduced in the second year, she assured me, and by then I’d be intimately acquainted with the space. They used the gym for first-year testing because it gave the students space to spread out while they finished their written test. Plus it allowed the rest of the school to make use of the bleachers to watch the proceedings.

There was nothing like an audience to make you feel the pressure.

The professors set an anti-cheating spell in place and when I took my seat, I felt the weight of it click in. Even if I’d wanted to look at anyone else’s papers, the spell kept me from seeing them. Nerves ate at me as I waited for the written test to begin. Seated in front of me and flourishing a pen, Persephone sent a smirking smile toward the teachers monitoring the test. As though it would help her get ahead.

Mike sat toward the back of the room and I tried to turn around and see his reaction to this. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t turn my head far enough to look at him, the spell keeping my focus ahead and mostly on my own desk.

The audience definitely didn’t help my mortification. What kind of delight did they get from watching first-years suffer? I’d find out soon enough, if I passed. Then I’d be the one watching.

At last the buzzer sounded and I turned to the first page. The words blurred and for a second my heart stopped. Was I missing something? Had they placed a spell on the papers too, something we were required to break so we could continue?

Then my vision cleared and the questions sorted themselves out. The first page gave me a bit of a pause. I took a breath, closing my eyes for another moment to center myself. Afterwards, my nerves settled.

Not nearly as bad as I’d thought.

There were questions on history, on proper potion ingredients. On charms and theoretical situations, how we would handle them. There were questions on earth magic and fire magic, how to harness the elements and get them to do our bidding. I read through questions on curses and counter-curses and witch versus fae magic.

I flew through the rest of the exam and raised my hands upon completion.

Almost scared to see: I was the first to finish.

Professor Marsh clicked over to me wearing her habitual pencil skirt and sky-high heels. Bending in front of me, keeping her voice low, she murmured, “Head up to the front of the room and submit your test in the box. It will grade automatically, then you’re free to leave.”

My gut clenched. “Wait a minute. Will I get my grade today?”

She shook her head and flashed me a rueful smile. “Not yet. The grades are for the teachers to examine first. The box is right up there. After you submit, head out and go to the cafeteria. The others will be along when they finish.”

I hated the feeling of all eyes falling on me when I stood up. Doing my best to ignore the weight of them, I walked to the front of the gymnasium and lifted the lid to the pewter box. Let it drop on my test.

Whatever happened from here, at least I knew I’d done my best.

My footsteps echoed on my way out of the gym, and with my exit, my appetite returned. Maybe I could grab a little something to eat while I waited.

The doors to the gym closed behind me and I stared out the windows at the side yard, gardens blooming and the lawn newly mowed. I had a little bit of time while I waited for this exam to be over. I could take a walk, clear my head—

“We wondered when you’d be out. Well met, Tavi Alderidge.”

My spine straightening and my blood going cold, I turned toward the voice. Only to find two familiar second-year boys waiting for me in the empty hall.