Chapter 19

19

Afist clamped around my heart and squeezed until pain radiated. Dread choked me and I couldn’t draw enough air into my body.

Why wasn’t she still asleep?

My eyes adjusted and I stared at the damn chaperone who’d brought me inside as a pen. I’d listened to her snoring, hadn’t I? What was she doing awake? And how had she heard me?

I should have kept a better watch on my surroundings.

I tried to take the ball of fear and panic and guilt and stuff it into a far distant corner of my mind. Getting out of this would take every remaining brain cell in my head. All the emotions? I’d have to deal with them later. Once I bullshitted my way out of this newest snafu.

Right now I had to concentrate on an excuse and think.

OhGod, Tavi, think think think.

“Hands where I can see them, kid,” she snapped. “And don’t try any kind of spellwork on me. Don’t try anything to make this worse than it is.”

I wasn’t sure how the woman had detected me, but I was in serious trouble.

A shiver frosted my insides as I stared down at my shoes. Slowly, I raised my hands in front of me to show her I wasn’t attempting any magic, slumping in a wholly undignified way. My heart beat a mile a minute, emotions racing along with my pulse.

How did I get out of this one? Even the best plans could fail, and this was nowhere close to a good plan, so no wonder I’d failed.

The woman stalked toward me. Her eyes glittered, her upper lip lifted in a half snarl. “Come with me.”

There was her hand gripping my arm, tugging me away from the door as the woman marched me back down the hallway. I knew where we were headed. There were no dorms in this part of the castle, and only a few classrooms. A tingle ran up and down my skin as I thought about facing Headmaster Leaves.

“Where are we going?” I asked anyway.

“You know exactly where. We are going to see the only person who can deal with you.”

She was taking me straight to the headmaster’s office.

Bile stung my throat. Real, not a dream. After everything I’d done to get to the academy…

I stared up at the chaperone, her nose wrinkled and her upper lip still drawn back in a snarl when she looked at me. This was it, I thought with a sinking feeling. I was getting kicked out of the school. I’d messed up big time.

My mind went along for the ride on a tide of depressing thoughts. Kendrick was going to find me for sure. I’d end up enslaved to him and living some kind of awful half-life, doing his bidding. He’d keep me in chains to make sure I never escaped him again. Force me to do what he wanted, when he wanted. Force me to kill, to love—

Love.

I’d never see Mike or Melia again.

“Please don’t,” I tried to tell the woman. To get her to reconsider. Then again, she had just caught me red-handed. “No harm done. You can just let me walk away.”

She hustled me along with an expression of smug delight, keeping her gaze fixed ahead and not giving me another moment of her attention. Her grip tightened on my arm. A single painful squeeze to let me know she was going easy on me and couldn’t wait for the headmaster to skin me alive when he heard what I’d done.

Great. Perfect.

My gaze dropped down to the gun at her side, or at least the spot where I remembered seeing a gun hours ago. There was nothing there now.

The two of us emerged into the headmaster’s chambers, the chaperone moving like a rushing bull, and we turned to the left, not toward the office but to a second door I hadn’t noticed before. She slammed her fist down on the wood in rapid succession.

“Leaves! Leaves, wake up.”

A muffled voice echoed through the walls, the words too indistinct for me to make them out. It didn’t take long for the door to fling open and reveal a sleepy and very confused Fae headmaster. His gaze fell on me first, hitting me like a brick as his brows drew together.

“Miss Alderidge?” he addressed me. “Professor Arlena? What is the meaning of this? It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

Professor Arlena practically threw me into his arms. I stumbled over my own shoes and Leaves caught me before we both went back into the doorjamb. His hands closed around my shoulders in a cool touch before he hastily released me.

“I caught this girl tying to break into our quarters,” Arlena stated. She stopped and looked down her nose at me. “Not just trying. She succeeded somehow, and when I found her, she was standing in front of somewhere she never should have been.” Her eyes narrowed in a challenge.

Pain shot through my head like a hammer to the brain. I gritted my teeth against it, trying to numb the waves of panic and nausea following.

Leaves shook his head and I could tell the pistons weren’t all firing yet. “I’m not exactly sure what you mean, Professor. You found her where? Tavi, what are you doing out of bed?” he asked me.

Obviously, the chaperone thought Leaves was being too lenient, even as he desperately tried to shake off sleep and follow the conversation.

“Leaves, I am trying to tell you about how this student of yours sneaked around in the hallways and somehow managed to break into our quarters to steal something.” Fury colored every syllable. “You know what.”

Wait…how did she know I was there to steal something? I might have simply been curious. So I was right and it was behind that door after all.

And Leaves knew about it.

It took Headmaster Leaves a few more moments to put the picture together; all the while blood rushed to my face and my cheeks burned. When he finally understood what the chaperone was trying to tell him, he turned to me with an almighty rage that would have been beautiful to behold if I weren’t on the receiving end of it.

“I am flabbergasted,” he said slowly, each syllable enunciated to chilling perfection. “You’re one of my brightest students, Tavi. How could you do such a thing? How do you even know—”

“I demand you remove her from the school at once,” Professor Arlena interrupted. “This kind of behavior cannot be tolerated. There is nothing to say she won’t try to break in again, and perhaps even succeed. We have enough to worry about without having to also deal with a snoop.”

“The safeguards in place—” Leaves tried to say before she interrupted him yet again.

“The safeguards don’t mean anything if your most gifted students are the ones trying to break in.” She shook with fury.

Wow, the woman had an answer for everything, and a snake tongue to boot. The bottom dropped out from under me and it felt like I had a rhinoceros sitting on my chest.

Leaves turned to face me full on, with his arms crossed over his chest. “Miss Alderidge, I’ve been meaning to speak with you anyway. I think it’s high time you came clean. You have not been entirely honest and forthcoming with information on your family. I had someone look into it. We found an address for your uncle, William Alderidge.”

I might have died on the spot. “You found my Uncle Will?” I whispered.

This is it, my mind whispered. This is the end.

Because I’d tried to be the hero. Because I’d used my powers—

My entire being perked up. My powers. Did I have enough magic left inside of me to claw my way out of this hellhole I’d created? It was worth a shot. After all, it had worked on Nora. Sure, she was sleep-deprived and susceptible to suggestion, but still… I certainly had to try.

Heaven help me, I was about to manipulate my headmaster’s mind. Just like I’d manipulated Nora’s memory of my transfiguration.

Using this kind of magic on a figure of authority wasn’t just against the rules of the power. It was against the law. I’d read it in the school manifesto. Any outward and aggressive displays of magic against professors was strictly forbidden.

If I was ever caught, I could be thrown in faerie jail.

Let me just dig my hole a bit deeper…

I had no choice. If I had to get my hands dirtier, then I would, because I refused to end up as Kendrick’s bitch. I’d fight for my freedom and damn the consequences.

Leaves was swearing at no one in particular, dragging his hand through his hair in an attempt to calm down, and I wasn’t sure whether he wanted to kill me first or Professor Arlena. She’d taken a step closer, getting in his face. Leaves still had a hand on my shoulder to keep me in place and I felt the tension from his fingers.

Instead of breaking his hold, I placed my hand over his and reached out to touch the chaperone as well, then reached to take hold of their minds. Their energies.

Both of their minds were a jumble, hers a buzzing mess of yellow and violent orange, Leaves’s similar yet colored with the navy haze of exhaustion.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I told them in a hush. Pushing further to harness their energy and make it my own, to mold it into what I wanted them to believe.

“Nothing wrong?” Professor Arlena didn’t sound convinced. “Are you kidding me?”

I shoved harder; I couldn’t allow her to stop me before I finished. “You didn’t find me breaking into your chambers. You didn’t see me in the halls tonight. When you pass me in the school, you won’t recognize my face as anyone other than a student at the Academy.” I turned my attention to Leaves. “You never saw me tonight. I never came to your door and you and Professor Arlena never spoke.”

He quirked his head to the side, his eyes darkening. “I never saw you?”

I shook my head. “You didn’t see me. You got up because you thought you heard a noise but it turned out to be nothing. You got a drink of water and then went back to bed. Both of you go back to bed and sleep until morning. A deep sleep, so you will wake well rested. Tonight was a normal night with nothing happening out of the ordinary. Do you understand?”

Breathing deeply, fighting against my hands shaking, I could feel my energy lagging, draining after expending so much of it without the proper practice. If I didn’t pull back soon—

No, I had to do this. I had to make sure what I wanted them to believe about tonight actually stuck. If there was any doubt left in either of their minds, then I’d have a lot of explaining to do.

And I’d never be able to come back to this place.

When neither of them answered me, both staring, I gave a final panicked shove against their ancient minds. These two fae were much older than me, older and wiser and more powerful.

But I was in a life or death situation. My grip on them both tightened.

“Neither of you saw me tonight. You both had a relaxing evening full of restful sleep.” Then I repeated, “Do you understand?”

Please don’t let me scramble their brains.

Both Leaves and the chaperone woman nodded.

“I understand,” they said at the same time. Like robots.

Their minds calmed, and when I took a mental look at their energies again, both displayed a relaxing shade of green lined with navy. Much better.

I accompanied my final manipulation with an extra push of magic strong enough I nearly went down on my knees. Locking them to remain standing, I said at last, “You both go back to sleep. I wasn’t here. You have no memory of me tonight.”

Then I bolted. I had to get out of there fast. Sweat dripped down my forehead though my hands felt clammy. I stumbled against the wall and clung there, trying to catch my breath.

Shouldn’t have done so much.

Of course I shouldn’t, but I did what I had to do, and when obstacles rose, I moved them out of the way.

My lips curled in a wicked grin.

It didn’t make me feel any better. Instead, a shot of cold pulsed through me. Fear at being discovered for the manipulation.

With the deed done, I trudged back toward my dorm. I felt awful—not just over Nora, but now over what I’d done to Leaves and Professor Arlena. I didn’t have any idea what kind of side effects this kind of manipulation might have on them. After all, I wasn’t supposed to be doing big magic yet. This was years ahead of my curriculum. And who was to say what I’d done would stick permanently?

I’d passed my first exam on cognitive manipulation. So what? What if I ended up hurting them or the spell broke in a matter of days or weeks?

If anything bad happened, I’d never be able to forgive myself.

Uncle Will can’t find me.

Guilt darkened my emotions to the point where I had to stop and take a breath when my chest felt too tight. Leaning against the wall, I let the cool stones leach the heat from my skin. In the past, I’d never done anything without preparation. Without thinking through alternate routes in advance even for the most innocent situations. Part of the curse of thinking too much. Now, winging it, I didn’t like the feeling of being unprepared.

Through the windows I could see the sky beginning to lighten. Nearing dawn. I should have been in bed hours ago.

Lost in a miasma of thoughts and guilt, I was nearly to the dormitory, dreaming about my bed and wondering if I’d be able to get any sleep at all. If so I’d probably have terrible nightmares reliving being caught, or reliving how I’d manipulated the most powerful Fae in the building.

What would Mike think about me if he knew the truth of what I’d done? He could never find out.

Another few steps and I’d be able to rest my head for at least thirty minutes. No way would I be able to make it through the day without sleep.

Sleep wasn’t in the cards for me. Neither was rest.

A blurred form rushed at me, arms locking around my midsection and sending me flying.