9. Amber

"The what?"I ask, even though I heard Sunneva clearly the first time.

I just have no idea what she's talking about.

"The Solar Scepter," she repeats. "A powerful weapon I created and hid away a long time ago that embodies the essence of the sun's power. It's a beacon of hope and a protection against despair, designed to tip the scales in favor of light in times of darkness. I designed it specifically for the one I'd star touch someday. For you."

I take a moment to process her words, a weight of responsibility settling over me as I realize how much is at stake.

The entire balance of light and dark.

All in myhands.

Well, my hands when they're holding this mystical weapon that a goddess designed for me. One that embodies light itself.

Which means…

"It's the weapon the Shadow Lord told me about," I say, dread pooling in my stomach. "The one that can kill him."

"It is," she confirms, and the dread grows even more.

Can I really do it?

Can I kill him? After I'm starting to see a sliver of humanity in the monster I believed he was? After sharing his dreams and feeling his touch?

Damien steps forward, eyeing Sunneva with caution, his voice pulling me back into focus on the issue at hand. "Where, exactly, is this scepter?" he asks, and she nods, seemingly pleased by his question.

"It's at the Cradle of the First Dawn," she replies. "A sacred site hidden high above the clouds in the Himalayas, where the first rays of sunlight grace the earth each morning."

"Oh." He frowns, unhappy with her answer.

I immediately realize why.

Because Sunneva said I need to find and claim the scepter.

I can't exactly take a trip to the Himalayas with the duskberry binding me inside the borders of Manhattan.

"You'll start your journey at the Monastery of Shadows and Light," she says, and she rattles off instructions of how to get there, even though I'm too caught up in thoughts of the duskberry issue—and of killing Astrophel—to fully listen. "From there, you'll face tests that will push you to the brink of your mental, emotional, physical, and magical limits. I wish you the best of luck, and urge you to remember—everyone shines the brightest when they have faith and trust in each other."

Then, in a burst of golden light, she's gone, leaving only the echo of her words and her unmistakable warmth on my skin.

"Well," Blaze breaks the silence. "She really knows how to make an exit."

None of us reply.

Our minds are all somewhere else.

"We have to break the duskberry bond," Damien says, not looking at me as he does.

I can't look at him, either. Because there's only one way he's told me I can break the bond before its year's hold on me is up.

Blaze looks to Morgan as if he assumes she has all the answers—which makes sense, given her ability to see the future.

"How do we break the bond?" he asks, and the first thing I feel is relief that Morgan's apparently caught him up on the entire situation.

This way, I don't have to rehash my stupid decision to eat fae fruit enspelled to bind my soul to Damien's and my body to Manhattan, without even asking what it was.

Damien rubs the back of his neck, focused on Blaze, not sparing a single glance at me. "The duskberry bond can be broken if Amber accepts my proposal and becomes my queen," he says, and his words hang in the air, the weight of the decision slamming down on me at once.

"There has to be another way." I take a few steps back, since I'm not going to make this decision right here, right now, with all their eyes on me.

Especially since Damien seems as detached from the whole thing as ever, as if my decision should be a strategic arrangement instead of a romantic commitment to become his wife.

Damien shifts his stance, finally looking at me instead of Blaze.

There's nothing warm in his gaze. Nothing caring.

Certainly nothing loving.

My magic burns like a furnace, hot enough to make him step back.

"If we marry, it will be a business arrangement," he says, as if his words should be comforting instead of an embodiment of my current fears. "As queen of my clan, you'll be protected, cared for, and you'll have a home. Forever."

I take a few deep breaths and curl my hands into fists, resisting the urge to blast him with sun magic to shock the man who kissed me the other night back into existence. The man he was before becoming this cold, hard shell of a person.

Yes, what happened with Viktor was devastating. I can't begin to imagine what he's going through.

But he could at least show me some human decency, given the seriousness of what he's asking.

"What about what I want?" Heat rises in my cheeks, my magic crackling like wildfire in my palms. "Do you really think I'm going to settle for a loveless marriage, even if it comes with a home and a crown?"

Damien's expression hardens, the air stirring around him. "It's what a queen would do to save her kingdom."

"Well guess what? I'm not your queen. I'm a witch with sun magic strong enough to save this whole city," I snap, and I face Morgan, desperate for her help. "Can you scry for another option? See if there's a way to break the spell without tying myself to him forever?"

If Damien's offended by my dismissal, he makes no sign of it.

Not even another breeze.

Morgan hesitates, and my heart stops at the chance of her saying no.

"Scrying can show me possibilities—not certainties," she finally says, pulling a small, ornate dagger from her belt. "Assuming it shows me anything at all. But I'll try."

"Thank you," I say, relieved that there might be a solution other than marrying a man who doesn't—and may never—love me.

With all attention on her, Morgan kneels and slices the palm of her hand. Her blood swirls on the ground, and none of us speak as her eyes gloss over, the air around her charged with magic and tension.

The silence feels like it goes on for minutes.

Finally, she gasps, her focus snapping back to the present.

"What?" I ask, anticipation building in my chest.

"There's a possibility," she starts, standing up and wiping the blood from her now-healed palm onto her jeans, which are luckily black. "But it's not here. It's in the fae realm with Queen Lysandra. She might be able to break the bond without the need for marriage."

Of course. The duskberry is from the fae realm, so it makes sense that its antidote would be there, too.

Damien's frown deepens. "The fae are tricky," he says. "Going to Lysandra could entangle us in more than we bargained for."

"I'll take that risk," I say, refusing to back down.

He tenses up, his gaze hard on mine, another breeze stirring around us.

I brace myself for his anger. For him to fight me and tell me we'll find another way.

Instead, I find myself disappointed when the air quickly stills. Because at least anger is an emotion other than robotic indifference to the fact that I'd rather make a deal with the fae queen than marry him.

"Very well," he says, clipped and sharp. "Central Park closes at two. We'll be there tonight, at the location parallel to Lysandra's palace, ready when our world merges with hers."

I stand there for a moment, shocked that he said yes so easily.

But I quickly brush it off. After all, this is what I wanted. Another option.

Besides, I don't have to take Lysandra's offer. I just want to hear it.

"Okay," I say simply, and he nods, saying nothing more.

Morgan gives me a small smile, her eyes warm but worried. "Be careful," she tells me. "Lysandra's powerful, and she can be very persuasive. But no matter how tempting her offer might be, don't agree to anything you fear you'll regret."

"I won't," I say. "I promise."

I really, truly mean it.

Especially because I can't imagine anything I'd regret more than jumping straight into the deep end and marrying Damien.