19. SEVETEEN

seventeen

Kira shook her head. Poor fools.

“I guess when you were telling stories you forgot that part,” Kira drawled, forcing herself not to flinch as the heat of Harlow’s anger threatened to spill onto her when he glanced at her.

Was this what others felt when she lost her temper?

The tightness in the chest and the crushing knowledge that a single wrong move could be their end?

Kira breathed through the overwhelming power.

Movement from one of the windows above caught her attention as Elena was pulled back into the fortress by Raider.

He sent her a hand signal that said, “I’ve got your back.”

It was unnecessary. Partly because Harlow wouldn’t hurt her. Mostly because Raider stood no chance against the Overlord.

He might slow him down but that was about it.

Jin had the same thought as Raider, shifting to a lower altitude so he could act if the situation deteriorated.

“You threatened my niece.” Harlow’s voice had developed an animal-like growl that sent chills down Kira’s back.

It was hard to believe Harlow lacked a primus.

The menace he was projecting was the same type Kira had in the moments leading to the primus assuming supremacy.

Kira wouldn’t be surprised if in the next second symbols started scrolling across his skin as a monster tore forth.

Almost unconsciously, Kira slowed her breathing. As if by doing so, she could reduce her sense of presence.

Jin slipped closer, careful to stay in Harlow’s blind spot.

Kira glanced to her left and then her right, carefully cataloging everything nearby as she considered her options for defusing the situation.

What kind of idiots delivered themselves up on a platter like this? If she got injured saving them, she was going to be pissed.

Boden touched his chest, looking vaguely insulted. “I would never threaten a child.”

All thought of interfering on their behalf vanished as Graydon choked on a laugh.

“It is amazing how insulting a Tuann can be without even trying,” Kira said with a glare.

In this situation you’d think they’d be trying to get her on their side. Not making her angrier.

The writhing mass of power that had surrounded Harlow abated, vanishing beneath his skin as the storm clouds above dissipated.

“It’s probably a genetic trait.” Jin’s voice came from overhead as he moved out of the shadows to join them. “You have the same ability to send others into a rage by simply being yourself.”

Kira ignored Finn’s nod of agreement and Graydon’s chuckle as she pointed to Boden and Edris, catching them in the act of reaching for their en-blades.

“Don’t even think about it,” she warned. “I’m less gentle than Selene. I won’t simply knock you off a balcony.”

Not to mention it was the height of stupidity to draw those blades while standing on Roake’s doorstep and in the presence of the Overlord.

Already, she could feel the change in air pressure around Harlow as he fixed his gaze on the three from Kashori.

“I think I’m beginning to understand what happened.” Graydon’s gaze lingered on Jin. “You were somewhere you weren’t supposed to be, weren’t you? What happened to behaving yourself?”

Jin made a disdainful sound. “Did you really think that would last?”

Graydon’s eyes narrowed. “Be careful, drone. Your fate affects hers.”

The rebuke caused Jin to fall silent as the woman stepped forward.

“I apologize for the confusion. I only hoped for a chance to talk to you,” she said with an earnestness that Kira found off putting.

Others had looked at her with that same type of gaze. Tuann who hoped Kira’s survival meant their own children had too.

Kira shook her head at the woman. “No, you didn’t. You wanted Selene, but since she’s under the protection of the emperor, you settled for me.”

It was why they’d tracked Selene to that plaza. Once she was inside the palace, she was untouchable.

That left Kira as their sole avenue for the answers they sought.

To Kira’s side, Harlow’s anger was banked. For now, he seemed content to let Kira direct the flow of conversation. An unspoken sign of support that she suspected these three would carry back to their House.

Likely before nightfall, Kashori along with all of their allies would know Roake’s new heir had the acknowledgement of her Overlord—exactly as Harlow intended.

“What’s your name?” Kira asked, fighting the headache that wanted to spawn.

“Tinsley.”

“Why are you really here?” Kira lifted a hand when the other woman started to respond. “Don’t say it’s to apologize either. We both know your oshota acted according to their training.”

It wasn’t something that required an apology and everybody standing here understood that.

“That’s not true. We are here to offer an apology for offending you,” Tinsley said with a stubbornness that was a little unexpected.

Though Kira supposed it shouldn’t have been if this was really the heir to House Kashori.

You didn’t get to a position like that without having a bit of a backbone.

“Oh? That’s interesting,” Kira said with a smirk.

Boden glowered at her. “You’re making this deliberately difficult.”

A snicker came from Jin as Kira flashed a humorless smile.

“It’s a personal failing of mine.”

One she took great pride in.

“Boden,” Tinsley rebuked with a warning look before aiming a tentative smile Kira’s way. “We realize we overreacted to your drone’s presence earlier and wish to make it up to you.”

“By ‘we’ do you mean you specifically or Kashori?” Kira challenged.

Her answer would change how Kira responded to her.

Kashori was a major House—like Roake. If the other woman had approached her as the heir of Kashori and not Tinsley herself, Kira would have to end this conversation right now.

She had no intention of getting involved with the politics behind House relations.

“I—“ Tinsley started before breaking off.

Kira sighed. “How old are you?”

Although she looked not much younger than Kira, her mannerisms pointed to her as being someone who didn’t have a lot of experience.

“Ninety,” Tinsley said with a look of confusion.

Kira whistled silently to herself. “You missed the Sorrowing by three years.”

A blink of an eye as Tuann measured it.

Tinsley made a small movement, her crestfallen expression making Kira feel like she’d slapped the other.

“My mother took my sister’s disappearance hard,” Tinsley said. “My father hoped another child would bring her back to the world.”

Kira grimaced, her half smile not reaching her eyes. “Let me guess—it didn’t take long before her problems returned.”

Kira didn’t need Tinsley’s hesitant nod to know she was on the right track. That small movement told Kira everything she needed. Tinsley’s sorrow at not being enough. Her determination to latch onto anything that might pull her mother back from the abyss.

The problem was that what she was asking wouldn’t accomplish what she wanted.

“That’s the thing with grief.” Kira moved her gaze to the avenue stretching behind Tinsley and the others.

In the golden hour before sunset, the Shining Palace had developed a reddish hue as the sun’s rays began to fade. The remnant of the earlier storm allowing the setting ball of fire to put on a brilliant show.

“You can’t run from it. Distractions only work for so long.”

There was no shortcut to dealing with grief. It was a truth Kira knew better than anyone.

For such an advanced race, the Tuann were surprisingly shitty at handling loss.

Kira supposed being so long lived played a part in that. Maybe it would have been the same for her if she hadn’t grown up under the shadow of grief’s presence.

A specter that eventually came for them all.

Kira looked back at Tinsley. “Eventually that thing you’re trying to avoid sinks its claws back into you.”

Edris’s gaze sharpened on Kira as if he were seeing her for the first time.

“You understand then,” Tinsley said, an impassioned look on her face. “Proof there are others like you who survived can give her hope.”

Kira nodded. “I do.”

“You’ll help us then.”

“I will not.”

Devastation moved across Tinsley’s face. Her mouth opened and then closed as she struggled to find words.

“Why?” Tinsley’s voice cracked.

“Because you’re forgetting all those you lost aren’t sweet children anymore.”

And as long as they continued to ignore that fact, Kira didn’t think it would be a good idea to introduce the forty-three to them.

Boden scowled. “They will always be our children.”

Graydon shook his head as Kira glanced in his direction. “Don’t look at me. I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make either.”

He wasn’t the only one, Kira saw as her gaze moved from to Harlow and finally to Wren.

It was the issue she kept butting up against. No matter how many times she said it they couldn’t wrap their heads around the why of it.

The reason their children refused to come home.

Jin’s engines whirled as he circled Kira drawing her attention. She stared at him for a moment, contemplating.

There was one way she knew of that might help them understand but it involved sharing secrets that weren’t only hers to share.

As always Jin seemed to anticipate what she was thinking. “They will not like this.”

No. They wouldn’t.

“Selene and Alexander seem to be doing whatever they want. I think it’s time we do the same,” Kira answered.

Jin made a soft sound that was close to a laugh as Kira bent, holding her hand at knee height. “What were you doing when you were about this age?”

Confusion showed on Tinsley’s face as her gaze darted from Kira to her hand. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Kira’s words were relentless as she continued as if Tinsley hadn’t spoken. “You were probably treasured. I’m betting dozens came running the moment you made the smallest cry.”

Tinsley’s mouth closed as she frowned at Kira.

“Your mother. Your father. Members of your House. Maybe you were learning to walk. You might have even advanced to running.”

Who knows what normal children did around that age?

“Your sibling would have slept on a cold floor every night. If she wanted food, she would have had to fight for it. Beatings would have been more common than not.” Kira flashed a humorless smile. “Our masters thought it would make us stronger.”

In a sense it did. Just not in the way their masters had intended.

Kira’s hand rose to hip height. “What about when you were this tall?”

This time Tinsley didn’t answer as she watched Kira’s hand like she expected it to hurt her.

“By this age, your sister had already taken a life.”

Finn’s expression closed down. He knew what came next.

“Sometimes, it was criminals our masters took from Consortium planets. Other times, it was the homeless or those they thought wouldn’t be missed.” Sorrow crept into Kira’s smile. “Occasionally, it was each other.”

A brittle silence descended.

Carefully, Kira remained focused on Kashori’s heir, not looking at the men beside her. If she did, she might not be able to finish this—and she needed to finish this.

Tinsley’s chest heaved from the effort to hold back tears.

“Believe me when I tell you they’re not the children you remember. They are killers. We are killers.”

And the sooner the rest of the Tuann accepted that, the better for everyone.

Finally, Kira allowed herself to look at Harlow and the rest.

She nearly flinched at the utter blankness she found in Harlow’s expression. The very lack of emotion saying he felt too much. As if giving in the faintest bit would be the spark to ignite an inferno that might destroy everything in front of him.

Wren’s expression was the one that shredded Kira’s heart.

An old human saying was that “the truth would set you free.” Kira had never been able to agree with that.

Sometimes the truth just hurt.

What she shared would haunt Wren for a long time to come. The knowledge of what his daughter had survived would plague his thoughts along with the realization that there wasn’t anything he could do for her.

Kira didn’t think there was a worse fate for a parent.

“I’m sorry,” Kira told him.

Wren’s hand trembled as he held it up to stop her. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Kira wished that was true.

“I—“ Tinsley’s voice cut out almost as soon as she spoke.

Boden touched her shoulder in silent support as he sent a sympathetic glance in Edris’s direction.

Oh.

Tinsley wasn’t the only Kashori who’d lost something that day.

Edris surprised Kira by folding into a ninety-degree bow. Far deeper than she’d ever seen a Tuann make to anyone not of their House or an emperor.

“We appreciate you sharing your perspective with us,” Edris said to the ground.

“I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted to hear,” Kira told him.

If she thought sparing them the pain of knowing what their lost ones had gone through would work, she never would have revealed what she had.

Edris straightened. “Pain is sometimes necessary for healing to begin.”

The other two were quiet as Boden took Tinsley’s arm to usher her away.

Tinsley yanked herself out of his grip as she whirled to face Kira. “I’m not giving up.”

Kira’s eyebrows rose. “I hope you don’t.”

She really did. She could think of no better person to show the forty-three what they’d been missing all these years.

“Fight like hell to drag them out of that darkness when you finally find them again,” Kira told her. “Make them remember that there were once people who loved them.”

Maybe then the forty-three could start living again.

Tinsley squared her shoulders as her chin lifted. “I’m embarking on the adva ka this year. Will I see you there?”

Kira’s lips quirked. “It’s possible.”

Tinsley gave Kira a jerky nod. There was nothing of defeat in her posture as she stalked away, Boden and Edris bringing up the rear.

“What are the chances her sister survived?” Harlow asked.

Kira considered him with a side long look, unsure whether she should answer his question or not.

“We don’t know,” Jin answered for her. “If the forty-three know which Houses they belonged to, they haven’t informed us.”

Another reason Kira couldn’t have helped Tinsley even if she wanted to.

“Your best guess.”

Kira lifted a shoulder. “If her sister was special in some way, her chances are better than most.”

“What does that mean?” Wren asked.

“Those who survived either held affinities that were unique or were able to make the ones they held different in some way,” Jin answered.

Kira’s eyes flickered. He was straying dangerously close to the truths Kira had carefully avoided.

“As the child of an Overlord, she will likely possess powerful ki. There’s a chance she survived,“ Wren said to Harlow.

“If she did, would you be pleased or see her as a political hindrance?” Jin challenged.

Harlow’s gaze was probing as he studied Kira. “What do you think?”

Kira was calm as she returned his stare. “It doesn’t matter one way or the other. None of us will raise our hands to the others.”

It was a vow they all respected.

Even if the forty-three returned, the Tuann wouldn’t find obedient children who’d help them make war on their fellow Houses.

The forty-three would be neutral.

Harlow’s nod was pensive as he glanced in Graydon’s direction. “I’ll leave the rest in your capable hands.”

What was that supposed to mean?

Kira didn’t get a chance to ask as he strode toward the arched door of the fortress. It opened, allowing him passage as Wren lingered for a second longer.

Her seon’yer frowned at Graydon before shaking his head and following the Overlord.

“What is with them?” Kira asked, confused at the abrupt departure.

“Uh, Kira,” Jin said. “I’ll catch you later.”

Kira gaped in disbelief as the drone darted up the wall, disappearing into the window Raider had yanked Elena back from a few minutes ago.

Confusion changed to understanding as she sensed a dark gaze on her. Kira stilled, the feeling of a predator at her back making her cautious.

Finn faded away. Amila and Solal doing the same to give them privacy.

Kira’s eyes closed. She’d miscalculated.

She’d thought Wren would be the one to feel the most upon learning their childhood. She’d forgotten there was another who would empathize and experience pain knowing the person they loved had gone through so much.

Summoning her courage, Kira faced Graydon.

If she’d ever wondered what it would be like to see a man who defined himself by control lose it, she no longer needed to.

Emotions, raw and intense, battled inside him. Cracks appeared in the defenses he used to protect that big heart of his, one small line at a time.

It was scary. Terrifying as Graydon focused every ounce of his attention on Kira. His gaze searing.

“Graydon—“ Kira started, not knowing what she planned to say to make this better.

He closed the distance between them, his hands coming up to cup her face.

Kira caught his wrists, wrapping her fingers around them as she resisted the urge to hide.

Allowing herself to be vulnerable to another took a strength every bit as monumental as the one she’d needed to free herself from that place.

“I see your pain,” Graydon whispered. “I can feel it burning in my chest.”

Emotion moved through his gaze. Tenderness and love as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Kira calmed as their breaths mingled.

They stayed like that, each letting the other’s presence comfort them.

Kira didn’t know how long they stood before Graydon lifted his head, his eyes roving over her face like she was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.

Tuann spilled from his lips. Phrases she’d heard before on the planet of her mother’s people.

Back then, she hadn’t understood. Now she did.

“From this second forward, you shall not know fear or sorrow. For I am with you. Your shield and your sword. Defender and protector. The shelter in the storm. This I so swear as the child of Marcus and Ashlyn, former son of House Roake and the Face of the sixth Tuann emperor, Torvald Elden.”

There was a weight to his words. A magnitude that felt inescapable. The Tuann took their vows very seriously. Once given, they were impossible to take back.

And Graydon had just given one that felt like the most permanent and momentous of all.

If he hadn’t already given her this vow once before on Ta Da’an with Joule standing right next to her, she’d be tempted to think it was a vow of love.

But that was nonsense. He’d barely known her back then, and she was pretty sure he had considered her a nuisance in his perfectly planned life.

“What have you done?” Kira asked him in a trembling voice.

On one hand, there was nothing more seductive than a promise like the one he’d just given her. On the other, she knew the tolls such a vow could exact—particularly for a man in Graydon’s position.

Graydon’s thumb sent a fleeting caress across her cheekbone. His other dragged her lower lip, desire burning in his eyes as he stared at the spot he touched.

Just when she thought he’d close the last few inches, Graydon withdrew. His hands dropped to his side as a mask descended.

“I did what I felt right.”

Graydon stalked away, his powerful strides carrying him down the avenue toward the Shining Palace.

“How bad is this?” Kira asked Finn, not taking her eyes off Graydon.

“The oath of Aliria can only be given once in a lifetime.”

Kira looked at him. “That’s not what I asked.”

“Most women would consider his vow the height of romantic declarations.”

Kira rolled her eyes and headed for the fortress’s entrance. “As Graydon would say, I’m not most women. Quit playing games and tell me what this means.”

Finn strolled after her. “There’s no need to fret. The oath is a promise of protection and support between two equals.” There was a pause. “Moreover, it’s one he’s made to you before.”

Kira scowled at him. “Does everyone know?”

Everyone but her that was.

Amusement touched Finn’s face. “Not everyone.”

Just him, Graydon’s oshota, and Joule, she was guessing.

“How is this different than the vow of an oshota?” Kira asked.

“It’s not. Technically.”

The arched doors of the fortress parted, allowing them entrance. Kira paused on the threshold to send Finn a no-nonsense stare.

She was getting a little tired of the teasing.

His expression sobered. “An oshota’s vow is one of service. I will fulfill your orders to the best of my capability. The oath of Aliria is a promise of help whenever you face strife. As such, the giver does not serve at the other’s behest. In simple terms, it is a promise offering protection. Nothing more.”

Somehow Kira had a hard time believing that. The first time Graydon gave her that vow Joule had seemed almost shocked. Not to mention, the weight of those words seemed much heftier than what Finn was suggesting.

“Doesn’t this conflict with the oath he made to the emperor?”

That was the part truly giving Kira trouble. She knew how much serving as the emperor’s Face meant to him. It was one of the highest positions a Tuann could hold, and this vow could jeopardize everything.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Finn said. “Although an oath like this can cause a conflict of interest, Graydon wouldn’t have given it without considering the ramifications.”

What went unsaid was Finn’s admonishment to trust Graydon.

Kira did, but there was a part of her that worried.

She’d long passed the age where she prayed for someone to rescue her. Honestly, Kira didn’t think she’d ever been given to such flights of fancy. She’d always considered it her and Jin against the universe. Any saving they needed, they’d do themselves.

Still, there was something appealing in knowing someone cared enough to make an oath for her. One that said they’d be there waiting if she should ever need it.

“The first Overlord to use the oath of Aliria made it to an unrequited love as a symbol of his esteem. There is no pressure to return it,” Finn informed Kira as they stepped into the fortress.

The great hall that served as the entryway for the fortress was every bit as intimidating and majestic as the rest of Roake’s home. High ceilings and stone walls were softened by fabric banners carrying Roake’s insignia and colors.

The massive windows to either side of the arched doors and above allowed shafts of sunlight to trickle into the hall creating pockets of light. The antique looking sconces and light fixtures dangling from the ceiling added to the somber atmosphere of the hall.

Their footsteps echoed against the stone floor as they moved toward the double staircase located on the other side of the hall.

Kira paused at the sight of Raider and Elena waiting for her on the landing at the center of the staircase where the two sides met.

“What are you doing here?” she asked with a frown as she selected the left flight of stairs to climb.

Raider’s shrug was awkward as he folded his arms to rest against the banister as Elena fidgeted by his side.

Kira raised her eyebrows at them both. “Something tells me this isn’t what Harlow meant when he warned us to keep our distance.”

Elena’s fidgeting stopped. “I don’t care what he wants. There is no one around anyway to tell on us.”

Kira sighed at her niece. “To have the misplaced confidence of youth again. Ask your Uncle Jin how many times the Tuann have managed to sneak up on him.”

The number was higher than any of them would like.

Elena’s face showed obstinance as she jabbed Raider in his side.

Raider straightened, his gaze somehow avoiding hers as a hint of uneasiness escaped. “We maybe overheard a little of what you said to those three from House Kashori.”

Kira stared at him. “Are you trying to comfort me right now?”

Raider’s awkwardness vanished as a familiar scowl settled on his face. “The kid was worried.”

Kira nodded. “And you wanted to make it all better.”

Aw. How adorable.

Raider’s lip curled in a sneer.

Kira was a little surprised when he didn’t stalk away. Old Raider would have. Elena’s influence no doubt.

He didn’t want to disappoint his daughter.

Kira didn’t know why that made her smile. Just that the sight of her amusement made Raider’s scowl deepen.

“Tell her,” Elena urged.

Kira leaned a hip against the banister as she folded her arms across her chest. “Yes, Raider, tell me.”

Raider glared at her from under lowered brows. “You’re not making this easy.”

Kira’s laugh was a snort. “Payback.”

He sighed and shook his head before turning serious. “You’re not the only one.”

Kira’s amusement faded.

“We’re all killers. Monsters.”

The smile fell from her lips. Of course, he would have caught that.

This was Raider. A brother to her in the same way Elise and Selene were sisters. He would know why she’d chosen that manner to reveal her childhood to Harlow. The motivation behind her choices.

“Don’t forget that,” he told her.

Kira blinked, pretending she didn’t feel the sting in the bridge of her nose.

Raider flashed her an easy grin, tilting his head at Elena. “Maybe not the squirt though.”

Insult appeared on Elena’s face. “Not true, sperm donor.”

All traces of humor dropped from Raider’ face as a wolf looked out of his eyes. The killer he’d been careful to conceal from his daughter.

Kira shook her head at him. “Not me. I’d never allow that at her age.”

Selene wouldn’t either.

They’d both agreed that the children would remain children for as long as possible. Neither wanted to be responsible for destroying the childhood and innocence of the next generation.

“When?” Kira asked.

Caution finally entered Elena’s expression. An awareness of how deeply she’d stepped in it.

She fiddled with the banister, digging a thumbnail into the wood. “On Almaluk. A Tsavitee war drone tried to stop the Wanderer. I used the ship to run him down.”

Kira blinked, barely reacting as Raider made a choking sound.

“Stop laughing,” she muttered to Raider as he bent at the waist. “It’s not funny.”

Kira focused on Elena over the growing sounds of Raider’s amusement. “And you, stop using my ship as a battering ram to take down Tsavitee infantry.”

Elena snapped a salute at Kira. “Of course, Auntie.”

Kira hesitated in the act of stalking away. Why did she have a feeling Elena didn’t mean those words?