Chapter 62

62

E lizabeth stirred again. How long had she been like this, halfway between wakefulness and sleep? She was so, so tired. But Jane was here, insistent.

"Come, Lizzy. You have been very ill. You must take some more broth, and then I will allow you to go back to sleep."

An arm slipped under her shoulders; a strangely familiar feeling, and she turned her head.

"Mr. Darcy!"

He looked a little concerned. "Permit me to continue to assist you, Miss Bennet. Your sister desires you to take nourishment."

She shook her head. "I am thirsty. May I have water?"

She looked to the other side of her bed, where Jane had put down the cup and picked up a glass of water. Elizabeth allowed them to help her while she drank thirstily, and then leaned back against his arm.

But she was rather dismayed when he soon laid her back on the pillows, although he was very gentle, and her hand grasped his, causing him to smile. Somehow, she thought he might leave her.

She wrinkled her brows, although she kept her eyes closed. She was in her bedchamber. What was Mr. Darcy doing here? How had he been permitted up here? Jane was here. She would not have countenanced him flouting propriety, would she?

His hand turned over in hers to fold around her fingers. "Do not be anxious about anything, Miss — Elizabeth. All can be resolved when you are feeling well again."

His voice was warm and comforting, and she kept her eyes shut. "Do not leave me."

"I will remain here as long as you wish it," His murmur was quiet, and she believed him. Although something beat at the back of her mind. There had been a time when he wasn't here. And there was a strange blankness in her mind. No music. Silence.

A gentle hand was wiping away the tears she hadn't known were falling. "Do not weep, dearest Elizabeth. You must get well. That is all you must think about for now." His lips lightly on her brow. "Just sleep, Elizabeth. I will be here."

When she roused again, it was because Jane was beside her, her features etched with fatigue. "Come Lizzy, time for another cup of broth, dearest."

Elizabeth sighed. "Must I?"

"You must. Come, let me put this pillow behind you."

Elizabeth turned her head, expecting to feel Mr. Darcy's arm behind her, his gentle support feeling so right, she hardly thought of impropriety any more. But he was not there.

"Where …? Where is Mr. Darcy?"

Jane looked uncomfortable. "He is downstairs. Papa insisted he go down as he wished to speak to him."

"Oh." She was too tired to demur, but suddenly she felt she could not face any more broth and turned her head away. "No, thank you, Jane. Not at present."

She closed her eyes and flexed her fingers. It seemed that her hand was not resting in his. She could pretend to be asleep while she waited for him to return.

It seemed she waited for him for a long time. When her hand was picked up and taken by another, her eyes opened in relief. But it was not Mr. Darcy.

"Papa."

"How are you, little Lizzy?" His smile was anxious.

She wanted to reassure him. "I am well, Papa." She hesitated, catching her breath. "Where is Mr. Darcy?"

He looked at her. "I have sent him to Netherfield for the time being. I must consider whether it is right for him to be here. For now, you must get well. Then, perhaps, you may speak to him."

Elizabeth knew it had been wrong for him to be in her chamber. But a nameless dread swept through her. She had asked him to stay and he had said he would. But Papa had sent him away. Was there another thing Papa had said, that had made Mr. Darcy angry? She frowned, what was it?

Papa was frowning, too. "You must take more nourishment, Lizzy. Mary is here with another cup of broth for you."

Elizabeth turned to look at her sister, and smiled slightly. Mary was all that was good, even if she was often ignored. "Have you prevailed upon Jane to rest, then, Mary?"

Her sister nodded, holding the cup and looking anxious. "Will you take some broth, Lizzy?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not right now, Mary. It is not long since I had some."

"It is above four hours, Elizabeth. That is why I have come up to assist Mary." Papa sounded firm.

"I feel rather sick, Papa. I will take a little water, please, Mary."

After she lay down again, she watched Papa, sitting in the chair beside her. "Why did you send him away?"

"Do you not remember?" Papa's voice was quiet.

"I remember," she said softly. "But I can see that he has suffered, too. He has blamed only himself and has begged my pardon." Her eyes closed. She wasn't sure how much longer it was before she could speak again. "Can you not forgive him?"

Her father looked startled; perhaps it had been quiet for too long between her questions.

"After the pain he caused you? Hardly."

"Would you forbid me?"

The lines on his face deepened, and Elizabeth decided that much of his anger was because of the hurt he had suffered, not just her.

She closed her eyes. She knew she must rest before she could argue with him. But she knew now; her life was hardly worth living without Mr. Darcy — William — by her side.

She could feel again the pressure of his lips against hers, when he and Jane had thought her insensible; and she had been far to weak to show that she was aware of what was going on around her. But she could remember his kiss, and she could remember the warmth of his hand enclosing hers.

Awareness returned slowly; the sound of angry whispers in the room. Caution made her lie still.

"But, Papa! He saved Lizzy's life, and I could tell she was inclined to forgive him; she was pleased he was here and I heard his self-recrimination and anguish at the pain he had caused her," Jane's voice pleaded.

Papa growled, a low sound that Elizabeth knew very well, although she was sure he was not aware he did it. "Well, I have to be glad that Elizabeth is recovering. But I do not want him near her — not now that he knows his power over her; and that he has discovered her secret. He will want to control it."

"As you do," Jane said accusingly. Elizabeth was startled enough to open her eyes, but shut them again quickly, happy the others were too intent on each other to notice.

"What are you saying?" Her father's voice rose.

"Shhh!" Jane's voice dropped further. "You cannot allow my sister to hear this. I am talking of the way you forced her to keep the secret, used her fear of trusting others and built it up from her earliest years so that it is now at a crippling level." Jane's voice turned disgusted. "How much have you been taking from her profit before her uncle tells her what she has earned? — and now I expect you have taken her money to pay for Lydia and Kitty's school fees. Is that why you do not want her to ever find a man who loves her for what she is and takes her away from you?"

"How dare you?" Papa hissed. "She was not even supposed to tell you — obstinate, headstrong girl."

"She did not tell me, and I know it weighed heavily upon her. But it was not hard to guess — although Lizzy has never seen the real you, Papa. She trusts you implicitly. Don't let her down; please allow Mr. Darcy to help her to regain her health."

Papa growled again, but this time Elizabeth didn't think it endearing. Instead she was cold with horror. That she had trusted Papa, thinking him one of only two honourable men, and not one other to be trusted. Now what could she do?

Finally, he spoke. "We must see what happens overnight. I am happy you are staying with Lizzy, and we will see how much recovered she is in the morning. Then we can discuss it again. But I do not think Darcy is good for Elizabeth. He is too strong-minded, and will control her."

Elizabeth waited for Jane to answer back. As Papa has controlled me — without me even realising it. But there was no answer.

As she heard him leave the room, she knew tears were leaking below her closed eyelids, and she felt Jane's gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I am sorry you had to hear it while you are so weak, Lizzy. But you do need to know, and I want you to take some of this broth. You must be strong for the morning."

It took an enormous effort for Lizzy to lift her arm and wrap it around her sister. "Thank you, Jane. I did need to know. But if I am stronger by the morning, Papa will ensure I never see Mr. Darcy again."

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Jane's voice was resolute. Was no one as she had felt they were? Elizabeth's head ached.

"Be patient, and pretend to be asleep, Lizzy, and I will go down to farewell Charles before he returns to Netherfield to dine with his guests."

Elizabeth nodded. There was something afoot, but she was too, too, tired.