Chapter 43

43

E lizabeth smiled across the coach at Kitty and Lydia. "I am sorry we had to begin the journey so early, but I hope you will like the look of the schools when we get there. It must be so exciting to know they'll help you make your new gowns, and it will be an amazing surprise to see what fabrics and designs you will have chosen to wear at Jane's wedding."

Lydia preened. "They will help me make the most beautiful gown of all." She bounced on the seat. "Some of Mr. Bingley's friends may well be handsome young men — and rich!"

Kitty nodded along, smiling.

"Are you excited as well, Kitty?" Elizabeth smiled at her younger sister. "Papa said he is going to ask them to make sure you have a good art teacher. I hope you will be able to bring along some of your new work. You know how hopeless I am with a pencil!"

Kitty smiled nervously. "I hope I am good enough for them."

"Of course you are!" Elizabeth encouraged. "Do you remember that amazing watercolour you did of the men working in the fields? I hope you have brought it in with some of your other work to show them."

It was tiring, trying to keep their spirits up about being sent away to school, and that it would all be a wonderful experience; Elizabeth glanced irritably more than once at her father, dozing in the corner of the bench seat beside her.

Finally, they stopped outside Lydia's new school, and Papa got down with his youngest daughter to meet the headmistress and her clerk while Elizabeth remained in the coach with Kitty. Thankfully, it would only be another forty minutes' drive and then they could leave Kitty and begin the journey home, with time to talk privately to Papa.

He smiled at her as she settled back into the coach with a huff. "All right, Lizzy, you may speak freely now."

She sighed. "I thought the morning would never end!"

Papa laughed. "I have been imagining what has been happening at Longbourn."

Elizabeth knew he expected her to be distracted, but she was curious. "Why? Was anything special going to happen?"

He sat up. "Of course. You and I are not at home. Kitty and Lydia are not at home. Your mother is distracted with the wedding and I believe is going to rest upstairs this morning, saying she is indisposed."

He chuckled. "So Mr. Bingley, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy, with his sister, will all arrive at Longbourn to be received only by Jane and Mary. It is a diverting thought, you will agree."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him. "Mr. Bingley will concentrate all his attention on Jane. The colonel is a kindly man and will speak to Mary, if she will not make him work too hard; and Mr. and Miss Darcy will not know quite what to do."

She sighed. "I think he would have wanted to talk to me; he has not yet expressed fully his anger that we did not tell him that the man he knows as Santorio's publisher is my uncle."

"You think he will still be angry after having had time to consider the matter?"

She nodded, reluctantly. "He will say I had several opportunities to tell him before yesterday. It is true, I did. But I chose not to tell him, and he will be angry with me."

"I do not see why he should be. He is nothing to you, after all."

"That is true, but I think he is like every other man, fascinated with my voice and playing. He does not know quite how to do so, but he still wants to possess it, and therefore I must tell him all my secrets; although I think he believes I am too far beneath him to pursue openly."

Papa scowled. "I think I need to tell him to stay away from you."

Elizabeth shrugged helplessly. "I think it may merely fuel the flames, Papa, and make him even more determined, if he is to be denied." She shook her head. "And now he knows the direction when I stay in London, so I cannot even escape him there." She raised her eyes.

"Might you tell me what you and Uncle had been considering if you needed me to move away?"

Away from home, away from all she held dear. Her eyes filled with tears. And Jane would be gone, too, after her wedding. Longbourn would never be the same again, regardless.

Papa's eyes were sad. "I would really rather we do not have to do that." He shuddered. "And I am hoping we do not have to. Mr. Darcy is an honourable man. I am sure he will leave you alone if that is what we demand of him." He reached his hand across to take hers. "The only reason I have not yet sent him packing is that I do not know how you feel about him, little Lizzy."

Elizabeth shut her eyes, unable to look at him, knowing she blushed to the roots of her hair. It was fortunate that he knew how mortified she would be and made no audible sound of amusement.

"It is hard for me, too, my little daughter; knowing you are all grown up," his voice was soft. "And I am sorry to have embarrassed you. But it is to be expected. He is a handsome figure of a man, known to be wealthy; he is gentlemanly — after being taken to task for his early insult — and he admires your voice and accomplishments; even that you can win at chess!"

"It doesn't matter." She felt hopeless. "I can never really trust that any man actually cares for me, and not what he can get from me; given that music is so much a part of my life."

Papa's gaze was sympathetic. "If you had ever made a firm decision not to marry, your uncle and I had thought we could rent a small house for you, as a broken-hearted widow —" he grinned. "Perhaps with Miss Lucas as your companion. In a new area, where you can keep your music hidden, you may eventually meet someone who can come to care for you, who knows nothing of your music."

Elizabeth could laugh at that. "Charlotte and I have discussed that sort of scheme, but I think it would not work. I could not be happy without the opportunity to practice, and someone would eventually overhear me."

"True." Papa resettled himself more comfortably. "That is why we have not yet been able to decide on a final plan. But, Lizzy, the first thing you must come to determine is what you actually want. Oh, I know you must continue with playing, singing and composing; but I am talking about the rest of your life. I would hope that you keep an open, enquiring mind, and perhaps allow the possibility of marriage and children in your future." He reached over and took her hand.

"Only then, if you know that is what you want, will we be able to ascertain how to find a gentleman whom you can trust will not abuse your talent." His smile was wistful. "Perhaps a local man, so that I am nearby and could be vigilant on your behalf."

Tears started to her eyes. "Papa, I love you, and my whole family. I have been blessed to be born into such a loving home. And that you have not tried to stifle me, nor forced me to give it up."

Papa dashed his hand across his eyes. "Thank you, my dear. You do not know how much torment went into trying to frame your life to joy," he chuckled, "and not make your sisters feel deficient." He shook his head sadly. "And now I discover Kitty has a talent which I did not know about and allowed Lydia to mock her into almost giving it up."

"Is that why they are at different schools?" She had been curious.

He nodded. "It is. I hope Kitty may blossom once she is out of Lydia's shadow."

Elizabeth laughed. "And Lydia will do well enough, no matter who she is with."

"You are right. And I will send Mary to the Gardiners' either alone or with you. Madeline will be good for her."

"You wish me to go to London?" Elizabeth could hardly believe her ears.

Papa raised his eyebrows. "With the situation in Meryton as it is, I would like all my daughters safely out of danger." His gaze was knowing.

"I cannot go anywhere where Jane is not, Papa. Not before the wedding. This is my last opportunity to be with her before everything will change. You know that."

He smiled, sadly. "I will miss her, too. But it is more difficult for you, I know. You have been together your whole life. I am even aware how you have often returned home from town sooner than you would otherwise have wished, because you missed your sister."

Elizabeth wanted to speak more, but the coach was turning into the Longbourn driveway.

As she was standing in the hall, divesting herself of her outerwear and bonnet, Mr. Bingley came out of the sitting room, and Papa glanced at her, amusement in his eyes.

"Ah, Mr. Bingley. I hope you have been entertaining my remaining daughters with the rest of your party?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Bennet, Miss Elizabeth." He bowed to them. "It is only Miss Darcy and myself here today. Darcy and the colonel are at the militia camp. There was an incident in the town last night, and there is considerable unrest."

Elizabeth's heart missed a beat. Mr. Darcy was there ? "Is the situation dangerous?"

Papa turned to look at her, his eyes sombre. "Go into the sitting room and tell your sisters how you left Kitty and Lydia, Elizabeth." He turned to the other.

"Would you do me the favour of speaking to me in my library, sir?"