Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

B etter Than Ever

Charlotte

I’m trying to get settled on the floor in Annie’s room. She only has a single bed and her room is quite small. They also don’t have a main area in the house with a couch, so the floor it is.

Annie stands and walks over me.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“There’s someone at the door,” she replies.

My eyes widen. “Is it Finn?”

“Yes,” she replies carefully.

“Please don’t open the door,” I beg.

“He said he isn’t going anywhere until I do,” she replies and she walks away and heads downstairs. I follow her, trying to stop her, but she opens the door. Finn stands there, his hair looking disheveled. He’s wearing his varsity jacket and a pair of jeans, but it’s the look in his eyes that guts me. He looks tired and worried, but there is something else I can’t pin.

“Charlie,” he says, taking a step into the house.

“Finn, we have nothing to say to each other.” I wrap my arms around my middle as if it will protect me from whatever he is going to say.

“There’s a lot to say, Charlie. Like how I’ve been falling for you ever since that night, how I love to spend time with you and cooking meals with you, but my favorite moments are when I can just hold you and we share our dreams.”

“I’ll give you guys some privacy,” Annie says, walking backward before she turns on her heel and jogs upstairs.

“Finn, you don’t understand,” I say to him.

“I think I do, Charlie. I don’t know exactly what happened with the Dean, but I know you quit your position as social media coordinator,” he replies, taking a few steps toward me. He’s treating me like a skittish cat, and he isn’t wrong. My instinct right now is to run away because this feels too serious, too emotional, just too much.

“The Dean gave me a choice,” I state and I am shaking from the inside out. “She told me she knows we had an inappropriate relationship. They checked the cameras from the hotel hallway in Ohio and caught you walking into my room. So there was no convincing her otherwise, and I really hated lying anyway.”

“I hate lying too. It isn’t who I am. I want to scream from the rooftops that you mean the world to me,” he declares.

That causes a laugh to escape me. “You’re crazy.”

“About you, I am.”

I shake my head. “We can’t do this. I accepted a deal from the Dean. I quit as social media coordinator. This way they don’t fire me and I can get a position next year. Your position on the team stays protected, and we can all get on with our lives. They want to make an example out of us for other students so they take the internships seriously.”

“This is bullshit, Charlie. You aren’t the first person to get caught in a relationship during an internship. It’s a dumb rule. We are the same age. We are both students,” he argues.

“Trust me, I gave the Dean all these arguments. At the end of the day, my paycheck came from the university and that is all they care about. Truth is, I have decided to try out for Team USA in the spring, so my plans have changed anyway.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” he yelps.

“Thanks. I would’ve never been brave enough to do it if this whole internship hadn’t fallen through. It’s given me a chance to live out a dream.”

“And what about me?” Finn asks. He looks so vulnerable and perfect as his emerald eyes meet my own, begging me to love him back.

“I care so much about you too,” I confess.

“But. . .”

“There are no buts, Finn. You’re kind and caring and selfless. The team is relying on you as their captain. It wouldn’t be right for you to accept a probation or suspension now. It would hurt the whole team,” I argue.

“You’re making sense, but I don’t like it,” Finn replies. “What is going to happen with the app you created with Ruby? You guys deserve all the credit.”

“I don’t know. Alice has been in touch and she agrees that after all my hard work I shouldn’t be brushed aside. She is working on some things.”

“I feel terrible. If we hadn’t hooked up that night in Ohio, maybe this would’ve ended differently,” Finn says.

I reach out to touch him, unable to control my wants anymore. “Even if Ohio hadn’t happened, there was still the party in your house. We almost jumped each other upstairs.”

“I remember something about that.” He moves in closer and wraps his arms around my waist.

I inhale deeply. “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I don’t think we should.”

He pauses with his mouth so close to mine it hurts. “That night you were in my room, you asked me if I wanted to become a scientist more than hockey. The answer is yes, I want it more than anything, but I knew I needed hockey to make it happen. Now I just need to finish my year because I don’t want to leave the guys hanging, but I know I don’t want hockey. You don’t know how hard it was for me to say that out loud.” He presses his forehead to mine and smiles.

“That confession seems like it was just as hard as me admitting I want to try out for Team USA,” I say.

“Aren’t we a pair?” Finn says.

“I don’t know how I’ll break the news to my dad. It means another year of school, but it also means a lot of travelling with the team.”

“Your dad will be just fine,” Finn assures.

I pull back and look at him with narrowed eyes. “Why have you been having weekly calls with my dad?”

Finn’s response is a sheepish smile. “You know about that?”

“Um, I do.” I wait expectantly for an answer.

“Okay, so when we left Buffalo, he asked me to watch out for you. We exchanged numbers. I kind of got the feeling he wasn’t getting the type of care he really needs, and so I set him up with a therapist close to home.”

“But we can’t afford a therapist,” I counter and then fall silent when Finn gets a guilty look on his face. “Oh no, Finn, that. . .that is too much. You’ve been paying for his therapist?”

He scrunches his face and nods. “It’s what he needed, Charlie. She is making sure he stays on his meds and she’s been really good for him. He said so himself. He’s keeping a job now and they just increased his hours.”

“Daddy told you all this?” I ask completely astonished.

Finn nods his head and before he can breathe another word, my lips crash to his. I don’t care who knows it, but I want Finn Heaton.

We break the kiss when Annie’s roommate walks through the front door.

“Hi, Bethany,” I greet her.

“Hi.” She waves and her eyes turn wide when she sees Finn and she waves at him.

She heads up the stairs.

“Please come home with me, Charlie,” Finn pleads.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Us being together has caused so much damage,” I tell him.

“The guys care about you and they want us to be happy. Please come with me,” he begs once more, and it’s so hard to say no to him.

“Okay, let me just tell Annie I’m going to head out with you.”

I head back upstairs. When I get to Annie’s room, she is lying in bed, looking at her phone.

“Hey,” I whisper since it’s late.

“Are you going home with him?” Annie asks.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t blame you. He really cares for you, Charlie. He seems like a good guy,” she says.

“He is pretty rare,” I agree.

“Are you sure about your decision to leave your social media coordinator position?” she asks.

I take a moment before I speak. “I feel like everything in life happens for a reason. Raph cheating on me and me finding out the way I did. The way I just plowed into Finn’s life. I really care about him, Annie, I’m falling in love with him. I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Aw.” She stands and gives me a hug. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” We break apart and I gather my things. “Is it okay if I wear these pajamas home?”

“Sure,” she says.

I say bye to Annie and I head back out to Finn.

“You good?” he asks.

I nod. “Better than ever.”