Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

D id I Just Hit a Nerve?

Charlotte

It’s been almost two weeks since Finn and I struck our friendship pact. It seems to be working out just fine, except for when I catch him staring at me a beat longer than he should and that makes my heart skip a beat. But I’m totally in control of my feelings, or in this case, my hormones. Now Briar has taken Ruby and me to a supermarket off campus so we can buy ingredients to make dinner.

“Should I make a Korean dish?” I ask the girls.

“Tonight, we are making Spanish food. I say we do all kinds of tapas,” Ruby says. “Hayden will go crazy for it.”

“Do you even know how to prepare different types of tapas?” I ask Ruby.

“Well, no, but I can call Abuela and ask and you can help me, Charlie. You know you have golden hands in the kitchen.”

“She has golden hands and golden legs,” Briar teases.

“Stop flattering me, guys, it will go to my head.” I laugh.

“Nah, you’re too modest,” Ruby argues as she dials her grandmother.

Briar and I walk around while Ruby speaks in Spanish with her grandmother. Her abuela raised Ruby and Hayden after their mom took off on them. Her father had left them years earlier and started another family and never looked back, so their abuela is the center of their world.

“I haven’t had seafood in forever,” Briar notes.

“That could be expensive,” I reply. “I have to be careful. Especially with my internship on the line.”

“How is the investigation going?” Briar asks.

“No news yet. I’m hoping it’s a good thing. Maybe it will take the Dean the entire semester to investigate and by then I’ll have finished the internship.”

“For your sake, I hope so,” Briar says as we walk up the junk food aisle.

Ruby finds us. “Guys, it would be so expensive. It sounds delicious though. Abuela said you guys should come for Thanksgiving, she will have a whole table of tapas.”

“Thanks, Ruby but I was hoping to make my way home this year. With the money I’ve saved on rent, I can buy a ticket home,” I reply excitedly.

“And my parents would have my ass if I didn’t come home for Thanksgiving,” Briar adds.

“So what should we make for dinner?” Ruby asks.

“Dumplings,” I cheer.

Ruby’s eyes go round. “Yes, Charlie. I will do anything.”

“I’ve never eaten dumplings,” Briar says.

“They’re so good. They’re dough filled with minced pork, so yummy,” Ruby gushes.

We buy the ingredients we need and head back to the hockey house. We pick up Annie on the way back since her class just finished. Briar insists on stopping at the liquor store to get some beer. When we enter the house, it’s quiet. We all head in and go straight for the kitchen. I set up all our ingredients and give the girls a lesson on forming the dumplings properly. If we are going to make enough for the guys too, then it is a lot of work, and there is no way I can make that much on my own unless I want to finish tomorrow morning.

Briar sets up a little speaker on the kitchen table and we crank some music and drink beer. We bought ready-made wonton wrappers, so all I have to do is spice the minced pork. Then the girls all get to work stuffing the little wrappers before we steam the dumplings.

“This is fun,” Briar states, sounding surprised.

“And they are so delicious,” Ruby adds.

“So have you met any guys yet this year?” Briar asks. “Because I’m totally having a dry spell.”

“Not really,” Ruby says.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask her. If Ruby has met someone then I should know.

“No,” she clarifies, but she is making a weird face.

“Not really is not no, Ruby.” I bring this to her attention in case her word choice was unintentional.

“You’re hiding something,” Briar accuses, watching Ruby with narrowed eyes.

“I’m really not. Living with my brother and Macklin this year has been a total downer. They are like two watch dogs ensuring I don’t get any action. But there is this one guy I’ve been talking to in one of my classes. He doesn’t seem like a fuckboy. He’s only taking the engineering class as an elective. He’s a kin major with a hot bod.”

“That sounds promising,” I tell her as I wrap the meat.

“Yeah, well, I am sure I will find a way to mess things up before he has a chance to ask me out,” Ruby complains.

“You’re amazing, Rubes, any guy who doesn’t see it isn’t worth your time.” I console.

“She’s right,” Briar agrees.

“Yeah, well, even if I do get a date, I won’t know what to do. I’m a freaking junior and I am still holding my V-card. I’m pathetic,” Ruby declares, her voice filled with desperation.

“You are not pathetic. Saving yourself for someone special is great. You respect your body and you know what you want. I say you own your choices like the badass you are,” I cheer.

Ruby shakes her head laughing. “I don’t know how you just managed to make me feel better, but it worked.”

“I’m glad.” I blink.

The sound of the front door opening alerts us that we need to be careful about what we are saying. “The guys must be home,” I announce so no one says anything out of pocket.

Cade walks through the kitchen door. “Holy crap, are those dumplings?”

We all nod.

“Is there extra?” he asks.

“There is,” I confirm. “We figured you guys might come home hungry.”

“We actually went to a burger place in town, but I always have room for dumplings,” he says, rubbing his stomach. You would think the way these guys eat they wouldn’t have eight-packs but somehow, they do.

Macklin walks into the kitchen next followed by Luc, Aaron, Hayden, and Finn. The guys join us at the table. “This is awesome,” Aarons says. “And it smells so good.”

We already have some of the dumplings cooking.

“Can I help?” Finn offers. He’s wearing a Riverside U hoodie and a pair of dark gray cargo pants. He looks every bit the athlete he is, and the way he’s asking to help is just so sweet.

“You’re joking, right?” Briar snickers, watching him like she is waiting for some kind of reaction that will tell her he is joking.

“I like cooking,” he tells her with a grin, taking a seat beside Ruby. “And if there is an extra beer, I’ll have one of those too.”

Briar grins and eyes me.

I pull my gaze from her.

“Here you go.” I pass him a beer.

“Thanks,” he says. He takes a swig of beer and then he gets to work filling the wraps with meat.

The rest of the guys decide to hang in the kitchen too. Macklin mutters something about grabbing a case of beer from his room, and he returns with a twenty-four pack of beer.

“Oh no, this isn’t a party,” Finn argues when he sees it. “We can’t drink to the point of getting drunk.”

“You’re no fun,” Aaron whines.

“We have to be on top of our game. You don’t want to show up to morning skate tomorrow feeling like shit,” Finn reminds.

“He’s right,” Cade agrees. “How about we stop at two beers?”

The guys all seem to agree.

“Number three for me,” Briar chirps, leaning over to take another beer. She sounds halfway to being drunk.

“I’d love to drink to the point of getting drunk,” I admit. “But there’s no way my body won’t hate me tomorrow.”

“Don’t complain, Miss Going to Be a National Champion.” Ruby chuckles.

“No joke,” Aaron says. “You are the shit, Charlie.”

“I’m assuming that’s a compliment.” I laugh.

“Bro, she outran me and Cade,” Aaron says to Finn.

“That’s because you two are slowpokes.” Finn snickers, knowing full well he is poking a bear. He’s an athlete like me. All of us, on some level, are competitive or we wouldn’t be where we are today.

“Are you saying you think you are faster than me?” I challenge, raising my brows and looking him in the eyes, daring him to say that he is.

“I know I am,” he replies, staring me down with confidence that makes my skin hot.

The guys begin to laugh.

Ruby urges, “Show him how to lose.”

The guys begin to laugh.

“You up for a little challenge?” Finn asks, staring right at me. His emerald eyes flare.

“Always,” I deadpan standing. I walk over to the kitchen sink and wash my hands with soap.

The girls get up and wash their hands too. I head to the front door and put on my sneakers.

Finn isn’t far behind. The evening air is cold, but I prefer to run without a jacket.

Everyone heads outside to the curb in front of the house with us.

“We run around the block once,” I say to Finn.

“Easy.” He shrugs.

“Aw, you poor bastard.” Ruby laughs.

Hayden gives her a look.

“What? He is getting his ass handed to him,” Ruby declares.

“He’s the captain, Ruby, he isn’t getting anything handed to him,” Hayden assures.

Ruby steps forward. “I’m using a timer, Charlie. Let’s see what time you make.”

I’ve been training extra hard this week since I started training sessions with Esa and Christina, and I am feeling very strong.

“On go,” Ruby instructs, looking at Finn and me as we both line up.

We both nod.

“Ready, set, go,” Ruby cheers.

Finn and I both take off. With the other guys I took it slow off the bat, but now I am pushing hard. Finn is fast and he keeps up with me. We are running side by side at the halfway point. I can tell he’s pushing himself hard. I know I have more to give, but I wonder if he does too. As we round the block and head to the finish line, I push harder, giving me some space ahead of him. I see Finn in my peripheral vision. He’s close and so I push harder, giving us a good distance apart. That’s when I get into my high of running. My legs are moving fast, the cool air fills my nostrils, and I almost feel like I can fly. I am free and happy. I make it back to the house, running past everyone. It takes me a few yards to slow down. When I turn around, Finn is almost back to the house.

Our friends are all gushing and congratulating me. Finn reaches us and slows down before leaning forward and bracing himself on his knees to catch his breath.

“What the hell was that?” he asks, and he looks up to me with a crooked smile.

I shrug.

“Do you have a stitch?” I ask him because he seems like he is in pain.

He nods.

“Just straighten out and take some slow breaths to regulate your breathing,” I advise.

“Bro, I told you she was unbeatable,” Aaron says to him.

The guys tease Finn for a bit about losing to me. I use the moment to gloat because it’s fun putting him in his place, but it’s all fun and games. If anything, it feels more like we are flirting again, which is a problem. We head back in the house and enjoy all the dumplings we made. Then we hang out more with the guys. Everything feels so comfortable and relaxed. Living here with them has really grown on me. When Cade gets a call from Scarlett, the room falls silent and he excuses himself up to his room.

That’s when the party is over. Whoever did the cooking is relieved of cleanup so Hayden, Macklin, Luc, and Aaron are on cleanup. I appreciate the fact these guys like to keep a clean house because that wasn’t always the case with the girls in the dorm. I also didn’t have the same comradery I feel with the guys. After hanging out for a while longer, Briar and Annie head out and Ruby goes to our bedroom to get some work done. I still feel pumped from my run. I head upstairs to use the guys’ bathroom. As I leave the bathroom, I see Finn’s bedroom door open. He’s lying on his bed, staring at his phone.

“Are you a sore loser?” I ask him.

“I was never sore, Charlie, you kick ass,” he replies. “Come,” he calls me, patting his bed.

“Is that a good idea?” I ask cautiously.

“The door is open. I’m not inviting you in for sex. Just talking,” he assures, looking so laid-back and relaxed. His huge body covers the bed. He’s wearing a white T-shirt that hugs his chest and the same cargo pants as before. With his arm resting behind his head, the shirt has pulled up, revealing a spattering of hair along his abdomen.

“Okay.” I swallow because why does he have to be so good-looking? I walk over to his bed and take a seat.

“No, make yourself comfortable. Come up here,” he invites, patting the spot beside him. He is leaning against his headboard and he has the fluffiest pillows.

I take the spot beside him and sigh. “What are these pillows? They feel so good.”

“Hotel collection,” he mutters.

“Damn.”

“You don’t really talk about your position on the track and field team,” Finn mentions.

“There isn’t much to say,” I retort. “I’m your teams social media coordinator. Obviously, the focus is hockey.”

“But now we are speaking as friends,” Finn reminds. “How did you end up on the team? I mean, I really didn’t know much about track and field before, but I’ve been googling it the last twenty minutes.” He chuckles. “And it appears you’re a superstar athlete.”

“Um, well, track athletes don’t really get the same kind of attention as the hockey, basketball, and football athletes,” I explain. “Which is fine by me, because I hate the attention.”

“You’ve been shortlisted for the Bowerman, Charlie. That would be like me saying that I was shortlisted for the Hobey Baker Award.”

“That’s true,” I agree. “What is your point?”

“I don’t know. You’re very modest.” He shrugs.

“I don’t like having attention on me,” I confess.

“Is that why you haven’t started training for Team USA until now?” he asks.

“How do you know that?” I ask, watching him with curiosity.

“Charlie, you gave an interview for the school paper,” he replies like it’s obvious.

“But I didn’t expect anyone to read it,” I retort. “I can’t believe you looked me up.”

“Have you not looked me up?” he counters.

“Well, obviously, I have, Finn. I had to learn about you as the team’s social media coordinator,” I remind.

“And you didn’t want to know for your own personal interest?” he asks, and the way he is staring into my eyes makes it hard to deny.

“Fine, so I was curious about you too.” I roll my eyes playfully.

“I’m right here, Charlie. Whatever you want to know, you should ask.” He stares into my eyes, and it feels like he can see through my soul.

“Is that because we are friends now?” I snort, needing to ease the feeling building in my chest.

“Exactly, now shoot,” he says easily.

“Why biochemistry?” I ask. There aren’t many star hockey players with that kind of major.

“Because it was a good degree to get into a lab with, and I’m interested in research,” he explains.

“What kind of research?” I ask.

“Cancer,” he replies.

“Why cancer?” I ask, wondering if maybe I am pushing too much.

“You really like asking me all these questions.” He chuckles.

“It does feel good to get answers about things I’ve been wondering about,” I confess.

Finn frowns. “Chelsea, that’s my ex. She lost a brother when we were younger. Watching him get sick and dying. It didn’t seem right. I did all my science requirements in high school and here I am.”

“You’re really passionate about it, huh?”

“Was that a question?” he asks sardonically.

“Maybe more of an observation. It seems like you love spending your time at the lab.”

“I do,” he agrees, as his breathing changes and he looks into my eyes. “What about you, Charlie? What are you passionate about?”

“Running,” I say, it’s one word, but it means so much to me.

“Mhm,” Finn hums.

“Are you as passionate about hockey as you are about research?” I ask next.

Finn shifts so he is sitting upright, and he pulls his gaze from me and begins to twiddle his fingers. “That’s getting a little deep.”

“Did I just hit a nerve?” I ask with a little concern.

“My brothers knew how I felt about finding a cure. Chelsea changed after she lost her brother. I thought I could be there for her, but she was a mess. I kept trying to save her and she kept trying to hurt me. I put up with too much. I should’ve realized you can’t save someone who doesn’t want saving,” he shares. Hearing him speak of his ex causes a pang of jealousy I don’t like to erupt inside me.

“Sounds tough,” I reply.

“It was, but to answer your question, I pushed for science and my brothers told me I needed to be good at hockey if I wanted science. Our family didn’t have enough money to send all five of us to college. If we wanted to make it to college, we needed a sport. I perfected hockey, but it doesn’t run in my blood like it runs in Jacob’s or even my brother, Jack, who plays in the NHL.”

I sit quiet and listen, knowing this is a special moment. Finn is not the type of guy who opens up to people. He’s really a man of few words, so the fact he is being an open book right now says something. It makes my belly flop in ways it shouldn’t because it is bringing us closer, even though we can’t be.

“I wanted to try out for Team USA earlier,” I blurt out of nowhere. “But I made this plan. Daddy and I always watched basketball together. My dream, or maybe his dream, was for me to work for one of the teams. I’d come here and get my degree. Whoever gets placed on one of the sports teams generally ends up with a job after graduation. My chances were good.”

“Why are you speaking in past tense?” Finn asks.

“The investigation scares me. If my dad finds out I screwed up or that I have to come back for another year, I worry about his reaction. I worry he’ll fall into depression. I was hoping to start working full time so I could take care of him. Everything that I’ve planned for the last few years feels like it’s going up in smoke,” I relay, feeling desperate.

Finn pulls me into his side and holds me. It feels good to be opening up about my worst fears and not have someone freak out or tell me I am crazy. Finn just holds me. “That sounds like a lot to deal with.”

“It is,” I reply quietly.

“I get it. I don’t want to let my family down either,” he says.

His cell rings and the name Willow lights up the screen. My eyebrows jump.

“That’s my sister,” he clarifies right away.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” I ask.

“She wants me to come to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. I kind of left when I started Riverside and never went back,” he admits. I realize now how badly Chelsea cheating on him messed with his head. I wonder if he can ever love someone the way he loved Chelsea. No, I’m wondering if he could ever feel that way about me because I am falling for him.

“Because of what happened with Chelsea?” I ask.

“That was a big part of it. My childhood wasn’t exactly a happy tale. My parents didn’t have a good marriage. They fought all the time. My mom wasn’t really the doting kind. My siblings and I, we all watched out for each other. Well, really Jacob and Willow took care of me. My dad died senior year of high school. We weren’t super close but it hurt,” he says. “Mom sold the family farm to Willow and her husband. That’s how I have some money. Mom said because the farm was Dad’s and in his family for so long, we should split the money from the sale evenly. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it’s been enough. I’m happy it was Willow who bought the farm, but it just felt like I had nothing to go home to,” he reveals and my heart breaks for him. His childhood sounds like it was rough.

“That’s tough, but it seems like you were lucky to have your siblings. I always wanted sisters and brothers, but Dad could never hold on to a girlfriend long enough.”

“Aren’t we a pair?” Finn notes, and we both fall silent.

“Yo, Finn, can you. . .” Aaron walks into the room and we both pull apart. “Sorry, bro, didn’t know you had Charlie in here.”

“We weren’t doing anything. That’s why the door was open,” Finn states, but Aaron watches us suspiciously.

“What do you need?” Finn asks him.

“I wanted you to read over my history assignment,” Aaron says to him.

“Sure, bro, just email it to me,” Finn offers.

Aaron watches us for a beat.

“Nothing was going on,” Finn repeats.

“I know,” Aarons says. “It’s just sad you guys can’t be together because you’re so dang cute.”

“Bro,” Finn replies, but Aaron isn’t kidding. If anything, he seems emotional.

“Sorry, bro, I’m going.” Aaron waves. When he reaches the door, he asks, “Should I close it?”

“No,” Finn booms.

Aaron winces and nods. Then he turns around and winks at us.

“Sometimes I worry about him,” Finn jokes.

“They’re all such good guys.”

“They are,” Finn agrees. “I’m lucky to have them.”

“So, are you going to go home for Thanksgiving?” I ask since he never answered the question.

“I was honestly thinking about it,” he replies. “I think it’s time.” He falls silent and then he looks at me. “Do you think you’d like to come with me? You could bring your dad. There is a guesthouse on the property now. It could be a nice get away for you guys.”

“Are you kidding me?” I ask. “How would I even do that?”

“You ask your dad if he wants to come to this quaint little town outside of Nashville for Thanksgiving. . .” Finn says, speaking slowly.

“Finn, you know what I mean. I can’t crash your Thanksgiving.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing. It was actually my sister’s idea,” he replies and his cheeks flush.

“You told your sister about me?” I ask, astonished.

He nods. “We’re close. She knows everything.”

“What about Jacob, you know, the coach of the hockey team? The coach who will report back to the Dean about me attending your family Thanksgiving meal.”

“That Jacob, yeah.” He scratches at the scruff on his chin. “I’ll tell him you’re coming as a friend. Thanksgiving is at the end of the semester anyway. Games will run until mid-December and then we are off for Christmas and New Year’s, and by then your semester will be over.”

“Why am I even considering this?” I ask him.

“Because it would be fun. I’d like to have you there.”

“Should I bring my emotional support pickle and potato for you?” I joke.

“No, but you can be my emotional support pickle,” he teases. “Wait, that came out wrong.”

We both burst into laughter. It feels good to laugh and just let go after this intense conversation.

“Let me run the idea by my father,” I finally say.

Finn nods.

I yawn.

“I should go to sleep,” I admit.

His eyes flash.

“I better go. Good night.”

“Good night, Charlie,” he replies. I leave his room but what I really want to do is get into bed with him and close the door.