Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

RYAN

“Sorenson,” Easton yells as I descend the stairs outside the Silverstone Hotel. “You headed home?”

I hesitate and loosen my bow tie. Damn thing’s been choking me all night. “Got plans. Why? You need a ride?”

My hands itch to pull the phone out. I sent Maddy a text asking to meet, and it just buzzed.

“Nah, I’m good.” He types something on his phone and looks back at me. “You seem to be ditching a lot. Where are you hiding out? Or should I ask with who?”

My fingers curl into fists at my side. Heading home is the logical thing to do. I won’t be good company, not with my mood. I can’t even think rationally.

“Did the doctor check your head after that last collision? Because I think you’re delusional,” I say.

But I’m the delusional one tricking myself into thinking there’s nothing wrong with keeping our relationship a secret.

And seeing Amanda look like a freaking movie star and knowing Maddy could’ve matched her while having fun by my side makes me want to hit something for copping out. I should’ve brought her. How am I being a good boyfriend if I’m constantly hiding our relationship?

Newsflash—I’m not.

That changes after tonight.

As soon as the donor’s money drops, we’re coming out. Maybe we should have a reveal party like those gender reveal parties and blast it on social media. That way, the entire campus will know I’m officially taken.

“Fine, keep your secret for now.” Easton laughs, and the sound grates on my nerves.

“There are no secrets, asshole.” But it’s me who’s the asshole. I’m beginning to see Madison’s point by not telling our friends.

It fucking blows.

Andrew pulls up in his Jeep, cutting Easton off from whatever he is going to say. Easton chuckles as he gets into the vehicle.

“Catch you guys later,” I say with a wave.

Andrew sticks his head out the window and yells, “You should come with us. We’re sure to get tons of willing participants dressed like this.”

I shake my head. “I’m good.”

“See, guys. I told you he’s getting regular pussy.” I think that came from Easton, but I can’t tell. A couple other guys are in the backseat.

“Leave before my fists give you a regular pounding,” I holler as Andrew pulls away.

The word “pussy” echoes in the night as they drive off.

Idiots.

As irritating as they can be, they’re not wrong. Though their word choices could be better. I have been sneaking around and acting secretive. It’s not by choice. I’d love nothing more than to show off my girlfriend.

But I can’t blame my mood entirely on that. Nope. The news Dad received today and my conversation with the coach at the Gala is a recipe for disaster. Toss in the news I learned about Maddy and our situation, and it’s all one giant web of deceit.

Coach Howell approached me earlier, excited about the rumored invites to the combine. Apparently, the scouts like the potential they see in me. Even more than they saw when I first turned them down. Ultimately, it’s up to the NHL Central Scouting Bureau. They’re the ones who pick the players, but they do get recommendations from the NHL teams.

Not only would this be a massive break for me, but it’d also be a good look for the program. And given our program just recently joined the expanded D1 conference, it’s precisely the kind of publicity the school needs.

But here’s the fucking kicker, there isn’t any possible way for me to go. So not only am I disappointing myself, but I’m also letting the entire fucking program down.

Go fucking me.

But I have duties. I’m responsible for my dad. What kind of shitty son would I be if I left him high and dry?

Just today, Dad received another letter from his lawyer. Mr. Grimes turned down our last counteroffer, and now we are just waiting for the court date, which will be sometime in the first quarter of next year.

Isn’t that nice? I may or may not know if we’ll have the income for me to attend college let alone the combine.

But the fucking cherry on top? Maddy’s name was listed as a witness. She may not have known about her dad’s shitty offer, but she withheld the fact she gave a deposition. She knew more than she let on.

I need to get to the bottom of that, or there may be no us in the end.

Once inside my car, I fish the phone from the Tux’s pocket.

Maddy: Yes! I’ll meet you behind the mall.

I toss the phone in the passenger seat and take off. No matter how angry I am with everything, there’s one thing constant—I still can’t wait to see her.

Guess I’m just a shit person after all.

Twenty minutes later, Maddy pulls up beside me. My breath catches when she exits the car, looking sexy as hell in a waffled knit V-neck pullover that matches her jeans. It’s quite the contrast to my formal wear.

With our busy schedules after Thanksgiving, we’ve hardly had time to see each other, which hasn’t helped my mood.

But that’s going to change. It’s getting harder to pretend that we aren’t a couple. The skills competition. The dinner afterward with Blake and Amanda. Maddy and I sneaking glances at each other, pretending we were just friends. I run a frustrated hand through my hair. All these secrets … They’re eating me alive. And for what? To have our families tear us apart when everything comes to a head?

“Don’t you look handsome,” my sexy ass girlfriend says.

“You look rather sexy yourself.” Despite the conflicting battle inside, I plant a kiss on her lips. It’s rough and demanding, but she matches my intensity. She grabs my lapels as I weave my hands through her curls and press into the back of her head. But as quickly as we came together, I pulled away just as abruptly.

“Hmm, this was … nice,” she pants.

“Yeah?” My eyes are dark and heavy. I notice her tiny flinch as she searches my face. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I want everything out in the open. No more secrets.

“What’s wrong?”

I run my fingers through my hair, which is a nervous habit I can’t shake. The crisp winter air of Los Angeles feels heavy around us, charged with tension. “Maddy, I need to know. Do you really trust me? Or is this relationship always going to be overshadowed by all this, this social crap and trust issues?”

Her eyes narrow in confusion. “Of course, I trust you, Ryan. How can you even ask that?”

I let out a bitter laugh. “How can I not? Your family’s lawsuit, the way we have to sneak around … It’s like we’re always fighting against something bigger than us.”

“And you think I don’t feel the same?” Her tone is sharp as hurt flashes in her eyes. “Do you think it is easy for me to hide our relationship? I live with my best friend and can’t even tell her. It’s fucking destroying me, especially knowing she’s going to have to move to Boston.”

“What?” I jar back as Madison swears under her breath.

“You can’t say anything to Blake yet. Amanda hasn’t told him about it, but she didn’t get the internship here in L.A. But she got the one in Boston.”

“Shit.” I feel bad not talking to Amanda much this year, but this will devastate Blake. “When will she leave?”

“Soon. I think her flight is the twenty-second.”

“She’s not even finishing out the year?”

“No.” Her eyes glisten in the streetlights. “So you acting like I don’t care when I’m holding out on my best friend is a little fucking much.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know about Amanda.” I glance out the windshield, unable to see straight. “Now that the Gala is over, are you ready to tell?”

“We should wait until Alex signs the check.” She places a soft hand on my jaw and forces me to look at her. “Where is this doubt coming from?”

I swallow, staring into her eyes. I can see her confusion and worry, which only makes this harder. “Your name is on the lawsuit, Maddy,” I say finally, watching her eyes widen. “You’re listed as a witness.”

“What?” she stammers, pulling her hand away from me like I’ve burned her. “I … I didn’t know…”

“Didn’t know or didn’t tell?” The words are out before I can stop them. She recoils, pressing a hand against her throat.

“Neither, I…” She goes silent. “Do you not have faith in me? Is it always going to be a question between us? Is it always going to be this social dynamic between us?”

“I just hate these secrets. Just be straight with me.” But as soon as I say the words, the realization hits me like a high stick to the head. I’ve kept my own secrets. I never wanted to tell her anything bad about her dad and kept what he told me on that dark day to myself. Should I come clean? Going forward with a relationship needs to start with honesty, but if that honesty only brings pain, is it worth it?

“I was questioned by the lawyer. He advised me not to speak to anyone. Said I could be charged.”

“I think he was scaring you.”

“It worked.” A shudder racks through her body. “Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t testify against your father.”

Cocking my head, I remain quiet as I study her. She needs to explain more because she doesn’t make sense.

“I testified against mine.”

My mouth drops open, and I think my brain short circuits. “I-I… What?”

“You heard correctly. I testified against mine. They thought with my deposition, it would appear that I knew things about your dad, but it backfired. That’s why I’m surprised they offered such a low settlement. Your dad has a good case.”

Damn, I’m a fucking idiot.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. I overheard my father that day. I know Mr. Sorenson had no business being on that roof.”

“That’s not what it appeared to be.”

“Probably trickery from my dad. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want you around me.”

“He told you that he doesn’t want me around you?” I ask, but I’m not surprised.

“That day, I went to see him in the office. He must be afraid you’ll learn the truth.”

“Trust me, this goes back way longer than that.”

“What do you mean?”

Blowing out a breath, I close my eyes. I hadn’t meant to reveal that part. Guess there’s no choice but to come clean now.

I met her gaze straight on and spilled my last secret. “Your father told me to stay away from you back in high school.”

“What? Why?” Her eyebrows knit in confusion. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“He said I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Her expression morphs from disbelief to disgust to anger. I always wondered if what they said about redheads’ temper was true. I think I’m about to find out.

“Are you kidding me?”

The question is rhetorical, so I don’t answer. She rants and raves until she finally turns to look at me.

“Where did he tell you this?”

“At your house. I was heading to your room when he pulled me aside and warned me off.”

“And you listened?” she huffs.

“My father fell right afterward, and my world imploded, so yeah, I listened.”

She flinches, but that pinched expression remains. “So the real reason you took Jade to prom back then was because you were afraid of my dad.”

“I wasn’t afraid.” My hands tighten around the steering wheel. This night just keeps getting shittier and shittier. “Life wasn’t good after the fall. I figured it’d be best if I listened and stayed away. I asked Jade, knowing it’d piss you off enough to leave me alone. But I never thought about the long-term ramifications.”

She stiffens beside me.

“Wow.” She shakes her head and grabs the door handle.

“Come on, Madison. Don’t leave.”

“Watch me.”

“You can’t hold this against me.” I try to reach for her but then think better of it.

“No, but I can’t deal with this right now. I need to process everything.”

“That has nothing to do with us now.”

“ That, as you like to call it, hurt me badly. Yes, I can get over it, but this feels like ripping open the wound again. So yeah, I need time to process.”

“How long?” I ask, my voice hoarse.

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. But I need time to figure things out and to figure out who I am outside of my family’s shadow.”

Pain laces her tone, but I don’t argue. The worst thing I ever did was hurt Madison Grimes years ago. I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. But for tonight, I’ll respect her wishes and hope I haven’t screwed things up between us.