Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

RYAN

Moments like this—close games where we have to prove ourselves—are what I thrive on. The Colorado team we’re playing talked smack the entire game. Two more goals will shut them up.

With twenty seconds left in the second period, I catch the puck on my stick as it slides across the ice. Adrenaline pumps through my veins. Ten seconds left. We’re down by a goal, but we’ve got this.

My skates carve the ice as I weave through the defense. One clear shot is all I need. The goal’s in sight, but their goalie’s locked on me. Five seconds. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Blake wide open.

Without hesitation, I flick the puck his way. It sails through the air and lands right on his stick. Blake winds up and fires—the puck rockets past the goalie’s glove.

The buzzer blares. Tied!

“Sorenson!” Blake crashes into me, nearly knocking us both over. “Sick assist, man!”

With a grin, I slap him on the back. “Couldn’t have done it without that killer shot of yours.”

I’m on top of the world, heading into the locker room. I scored ninety-three percent on my physics test to stay eligible. My game is on fire—in front of the scouts, no less. I didn’t think anything could dampen my spirits until Blake took a detour. When I look to see where he’s heading, my heart sinks. Not because he’s racing to see Amanda but because she’s standing there alone.

No sign of Madison anywhere.

Getting that woman to come was a long shot, but I had hoped. We’ve made such strides these past few weeks. I foolishly thought we’d gotten close. Is it too much to ask for her to see through the bullshit standing in our way? I want her to know that she is worth the risk. That I’m worth the risk.

She could be my endgame. The girl who’s there after the sweat and grinding teeth, after I play my last hockey game. When the lights go off, I want her next to me. She challenges me and makes me better by taking in the entire picture. But that’s a conversation for another time. Tonight, we still have a game to win.

We play our best game during the third period. Colorado brought their A-game, but we matched it play-by-play. We gained one more goal and held out to win the game.

The Wildcat Victory chant echoes around the arena as the team piles on and becomes a tangle of sticks, limbs, and whoops of joy. Once we break and skate off the ice, I scan the stands one last time.

Disappointment edges my celebration. I’d hoped Maddy would be here, but...

No! Don’t go there. Now isn’t the time for that. We just won, and that’s what matters. Still, a nagging voice in my mind whispers that something’s missing, even with the victory.

But as Blake throws an arm around my shoulders and leads us toward the locker room with the rest of our celebrating teammates, I force a smile. This is what I’ve worked for, what I’ve sacrificed for. This victory, this team, this moment.

So why does it feel like it’s not quite enough?

A tap on my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn, face to face, with a tall, distinguished-looking man in a sharp suit. The Pines Scout. My stomach does a backflip.

He nods to Blake, and after a quick exchange, he skates off. Mr. Suit extends his hand, wearing a confident smile on his face. “Ryan Sorenson. Impressive game out there.”

I grasp his hand and internally cringe from the sweatiness. “Thanks, sir. I appreciate you coming out.”

“That assist in the final minutes of the second period and hustle? It’s exactly what we look for.” He leans in slightly, customary smirk in place. “We’re excited to see what you’ll bring to the combine.”

My breath catches. The combine. Another shot at the big leagues. Perhaps I haven’t messed up my opportunity.

I nod, trying like hell to look calm and collected. “I’ll give it everything I’ve got.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second.” He pats my arm and nods. “Keep up the good work. We’ll be watching.”

I stand transfixed as he walks away. The Pines. The combine. My future stretched before me and full of possibilities I never dared to dream of.

But with it comes a gnawing uncertainty. What about PT school? My plans? Dad? However, the lawyer called last week and said we should get a settlement offer any day. If it’s large enough to cover medical bills and provide ongoing care, maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to go.

I shake my head. No time for daydreams now. I’ve got a celebration to get to and a decision to make.

I head toward the locker room. The buzz from the scout’s words still tingles through my body, making my fingers twitch with excess energy.

As I push open the door, a wall of sound hits me. Music’s blaring, guys are whooping and hollering, the air thick with the smell of sweat and victory.

“Sorenson!” Drew bellows from across the room. “Get your ass over here, you beautiful bastard!”

I can’t help but grin as I make my way to my locker. “What’s up, losers?”

“Oh, just basking in the tears of Colorado’s center.” Drew mock cries, wiping away fake tears. “Try and say we don’t belong now, bitch.”

I laugh and start peeling off my gear, hyped for the W. “We kicked ass.”

“Celebratory drinks at Barton’s?” Alex, the younger D-man’s, hopeful voice cuts through. He has yet to come into his own, but he’ll get there.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Blake says.

“So,” Drew leans in, his voice dropping conspiratorially. “Saw you chatting up Mr. Fancy Suit out there. Spill.”

Excitement surges through me. “Pine’s scout. Said they’re looking forward to seeing me at the combine.”

A chorus of “Holy shit!” and “No way!” erupts around me. Pride mixed with nervousness swells in my chest.

“Dude, that’s huge!” Blake’s fist-pumps mine. “That’s a guarantee you’ll get the invite.”

I nod, trying to keep my voice steady. “Yeah, it’s … it’s pretty big.”

His face grows serious. “Even if you’re undecided, it’s still worth giving it a shot. To see what happens.”

Maddy’s voice rings through the noise in my head. “Maybe you can find some type of balance.”

“Maybe so.” Do I dare let myself hope? Can I actually have it all?

As I finish showering, my mind races. The guys are talking about hitting the bar to celebrate, but I can only think about what this could mean for my future. PT school, hockey, Dad … it’s all swirling in a confusing mess.

Like clockwork, my phone rings. It’s Dad’s customary congratulatory. Why he isn’t texting tonight is beyond me. I hit ignore. I’ll call him later. Right now, I want to relish the idea of continuing the game I love, accompanied by the girl I want to be with.

I zip up my bag and force a smile. “You guys ready to paint the town?”

But even as the words leave my mouth, I’m unsure if I’m ready for what comes next.

I’m barely listening as we pile into Drew’s Jeep. Barton’s isn’t far from campus but too far to walk.

I scanned the area one last time. Still no sign of Maddy. My stomach twists, disappointment mixing with a flicker of anger.

“For someone whose game was off the charts, you’re awfully spacey,” Drew shoves my shoulder. “You with us, man?”

I blink and focus on his shit-eating grin. “Yeah, sorry. Just … thinking.”

“About which bunny to take home?” Drew waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Heat creeps up my neck. “Shut up, dude.”

The only warm body I’d consider is missing in action.

“Aw, come on,” Drew pulls into the parking lot. Damn, how long have I been brooding? I didn’t realize we were here. “No shame in it. But tonight’s about the team, yeah? Let’s celebrate this win properly!”

I force a laugh. “You just want an excuse to get wasted.”

“Guilty as charged!” Drew places the gear into park and raises his hands in mock surrender. “Besides, we’ve got a celebration to get to and girls to help us.”

“Bets on Blake showing up?” Easton asks.

“That boy’s whipped. He couldn’t get out of the locker room fast enough.”

I don’t blame him. If Maddy were there, I’d beeline it to her, too. But I keep that under wraps.

“You coming, Sorenson?” Easton asks.

“Yeah, of course.” I run a hand through my hair. “Why wouldn’t I?”

I step toward them but glance at my phone one last time. What’s Einstein’s definition of insanity—doing the same over and over again but expecting different results? Yeah, that’s me. That woman has me so twisted that I’m now doing insane things. But when I looked, there wasn’t a message from Maddy, but another missed call from Dad.

Hmm.

“Hey guys, I’ll catch up. I need a minute to call home first.”

They nod and take off. But the phone rings until it goes to voicemail.

Strange.

It’s late. The old man is probably taking his shower by now. I texted him that I was out and would call tomorrow.

It’s not until a couple hours later that my phone finally rings, and the name on the screen stops my heart cold.

Dad’s neighbor, Mariana. She comes over once in a while to help out. Without her help, I wouldn’t be attending college.

The bar noise fades away, laughter and chatter muffling like I’m underwater. My thumb hovers over the screen.

“Yo, Sorenson! Get over here.”

I look up and meet Drew’s eyes. He must see something in my face because his grin falters.

“I … I gotta take this.” My voice sounds distant, even to me.

I hit accept and press the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Ryan? It’s Mariana.”

My grip tightens on the phone, knuckles whitening. The playful banter around me feels suddenly jarring and out of place.

“What’s wrong?” The words scrape out of my throat.

Mariana’s voice is tight and controlled. “Your father had a fall. He’s stable, but?—”

The room tilts. I brace myself against the bar stool.

“How bad?”

A pause. Too long.

“Ryan, I think you should come home.”