27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

W hen Eva pulled into street parking near Anarchy Records, she was on edge.

For the past month, she'd been doing a solid job at shoving the situation with her parents to the back of her mind. Why waste time on them when they'd dropped her and Micah like hot garbage? And he hadn't wanted to talk about their rejection either, since avoidance was their family credo.

Her father had looked at her as if he'd never seen her before, and her mother had narrowed her eyes with an uglier expression than she'd ever witnessed.

However, Micah bolting resurrected those feelings of abandonment she'd ignored into oblivion. As if it could work that way. If Micah told her to leave too, fuck, she didn't know what she'd do.

Her heart raced a million miles an hour as she stepped out of her car. She plucked at the tee she wore—Pixie's. Fuck, she'd made a mess of all this. Not only had she pushed Micah away, but she should be there for Pixie right now. But if she lost her brother too, she wouldn't be good for anyone.

The sign for Anarchy Records stood out at the end of the block, jagged white lettering against the black background. When the fuck had she and Micah become strangers? As kids, they'd been closer than anything: playing stupid games of hide and seek dressed as dragons, the Great Kitchen Blow-Up when they'd decided to bake fancy cupcakes, watching Pirates of the Caribbean five million times because Micah thirsted over Jack Sparrow. In retrospect, her obsession with Kiera Knightley should've been a tip-off she was bi.

Eva wiped her hands on her borrowed yoga pants. She'd need to wash these the second she got back to the condo. If she even could. Fuck.

One problem at a time. She needed to talk to her brother.

When she entered the record shop, the scent of must, a byproduct of all the old vinyl, trickled toward her. The place was dimmed lights and dark red walls, creating a cave-like ambiance. It fit the fast-paced punk music blaring through the speakers, which she was surprised was Micah's vibe. Considering the spark of rebellion that had simmered inside him all those years, maybe she shouldn't be.

The kid who'd been shaped by their parents was only a fraction of the adult he'd become, and thank fuck for that. She should know because she hadn't turned out to their exacting specifications either .

Bitterness bubbled through her as she scanned the aisles for her brother.

"We're done trying with you."

Her mother's words still haunted her. All her life, her mother had tried to push her into the mold she wanted Eva to fit into. She'd nitpicked and criticized her until she'd taken the first out she found.

When her parents had cut her out for being bi, that should've been more devastating—but she'd learned a long time ago they'd never have the family unit either of them wanted.

She and Micah were far from the heteronormative, cookie-cutter kids they'd wanted, and those were the stipulations for being accepted into the Abrams family.

Movement caught her eyes from farther into the shop. Past the rows and rows of old records was a line of open listening booths along the back wall. Considering there wasn't a clash of music pouring through the store, the employees must've connected headphones to the turntable playing the records.

One lanky figure stood in the back with bulky headphones crushing his curls. Eva's heart squeezed hard.

Pixie had been right.

She steeled herself for rejection. There was a good chance he might be too angry to talk, but she had to try anyway. Not because she owed him anything for being family—fuck that shit—no, because she genuinely loved Micah and didn't want to lose him.

Eva strode up behind him and tapped his shoulder.

Micah's shoulders jumped in surprise, and he glanced back. His brows drew together, and she tensed. This was when he'd send her away, tell her to get lost.

"What are you listening to?" she asked.

"The Clash," he said, handing over the headphones.

Eva slipped them on, and the loud strains of "London Calling" blared in her ears. Micah had always needed to dramatically disappear into his feels when he reached his limits. He had just hidden that from their parents. Not like they would ever have been understanding. Her heart ached as the music poured over her, like a tether to the past and present in the same breath.

"How did we get like this?" She tugged the headphones off, the faint music still audible—just like their relationship. She only hoped the distant melody was enough.

Micah pressed his lips in a thin line. "Come on," he said, tilting his head to the door. "Let's go somewhere we can talk."

Micah lifted a hand in a wave at the guy behind the front counter and stepped through the door. Eva followed, wiping her palms on the yoga pants for the thousandth time. These pants would be soggy before the end of this conversation.

The sunshine was sharp and exacting, burning down on them as they walked in silence. Eva had so much she wanted to say she wasn't even sure where to begin.

That she was sorry for not spending more time with him.

That she wished she'd told him she was interested in Pixie.

That she still felt guilty every day for not coming to terms with her bisexuality sooner.

At the end of the block, Micah headed straight for a small park with a playground, a swing set, and a few slides. This early, it didn't teem with people. Eva's skin prickled with nerves. She hadn't been to a park or a playground in years, which seemed like an oversight on her part. She'd been so involved in her relationship with Jack, then Sienna, trying to build a home for herself like she'd always wanted—except with the wrong people .

Wood chips crunched under her sneakers as she followed Micah to the yellow swing set. Micah plunked into the nearest swing. She sat on the one beside him. The slow creak of the chain sent her vaulting to years before, when she and Micah had just been swinging as hard as they could, trying to go high enough to touch the sky.

Eva kicked her feet up, getting the swing to pick up momentum. The longer the silence stretched between them, the more the guilt flooded through her. "I should've been there for you more growing up."

"What do you mean?" Micah asked, his gaze shifting her way. His swing creaked as he joined her.

Fuck. She'd been sitting on this for a while. Ever since she'd started dating a woman for real, when she'd come out as bi. "You took the brunt of our parents' shit for being queer. Those digs and comments through the years. I had an interest in both guys and girls from an early age, but my brain sort of…shut it down. Mom was constantly criticizing, to the point I hated every damn thing about myself, and the idea of adding something more to the stack?"

She swallowed hard, ignoring the burn behind her eyes. "I figured maybe I could shove down that side. Just date guys, be as normal as I could be. The longer it went on, the more the internal gatekeeping began. I was attracted to guys, so maybe the flare of attraction for girls was fake, maybe a girl crush. Fuck, I don't know."

A weight lifted from her shoulders at admitting all that aloud.

"Mom and Dad came down on me hard over the years, and I was never able to hide who I was," Micah said, swinging back and forth beside her. "Never had the option."

"I know," she said, her voice hoarse. Her chest tightened.

"That's not what even pissed me off the most. You might not have told them, but you never told me . Instead, you spilled to Mom and Dad first. And I'm sick, so fucking sick, of the people most important to me leaving me out."

That was aimed at both Pixie and her. She gripped the chains tight.

"I never wanted to tell Dad." Her palms sweated at the memory of that afternoon. At how Dad had made a comment about Micah's departure being for the best, and she'd snapped. "I was so sick of their digs to you, to me. And the confession leaped out before I could stop myself."

Neither of them pushed hard, just a lazy sway of movement, but that was where they were—stuck and muddling, trying to find a way to soar forward.

"Was the whole reason you wanted to stay in San Francisco because of Pixie?"

The whiplash change of subject caught her by surprise, and she slowed the swing. Micah always had the ability to pare to the heart of issues, so it should've been obvious he would take the scalpel and cut.

"Those are two separate questions. Do I want to be with Pixie? Yes. But she was in flee mode when I met her. What drew me to San Francisco was you, Micah. I might've found friends along the way as well as a woman who makes me believe in love again, but you're my brother. You're my only damn family left and the only one I want to keep. If you're asking if you're important to me, yes, you are. I'm just sorry I did a shit job at showing it."

She squeezed the chains on either side of her tight, staring down at her sneakers, which circled over the beaten wood chips.

"Fuck, you're making it really hard to stay mad at you."

Eva snorted and glanced up, her heart thumping a bit faster. "This is your free pass to call me a shithead. After today, there are consequences. "

Micah shook his head, his curls moving with the motion. He'd also slowed to a sway on his swing. "She makes you believe in love?" His gaze snapped to hers, and she couldn't look away.

Eva swallowed hard. "Yeah. Between Mom and everyone I ever dated, I was pretty sure finding love was hopeless. After all, who'd want to deal with this mess? But Pixie? She sees me. I can be myself around her and not feel like I'm too much."

"I'm so mad you guys hid this from me. Why the fuck didn't you think you could tell me?"

Eva cast him a look. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the whole ‘don't date my best friend' thing."

Micah let out a noise through his nostrils, sounding so much like he had when he was five and frustrated that a laugh escaped her.

"I didn't want either of you getting hurt. Pixie planned on leaving, and I'd gotten you back after all the bullshit Mom and Dad put us through. Sue me for wanting my best friend and my sister in my life."

A soft smile lifted her lips. "You'll regret saying that when I'm all up in your business, hanging out with your crew."

"What about Portland?" Micah asked.

Eva shrugged. "Pixie needs to tell you. Hell, she needs to tell you a lot. She's been holding on to too much in for far too long."

Micah's gaze shifted to the ground. "And of course she spilled to you."

"Hey, none of that." Eva nudged his foot. "She and I were at the same fucked-up rock bottom and happened to find each other. You know who suggested where to find you? Your best fucking friend."

"That she didn't trust to confide in about you. Or about her past. I know she's got issues with her mom. I'm not blind, and I've overheard some shit I shouldn't have over the years." Micah raked a hand through his curls .

"That's where she and Parker are heading now. She got a call that her mother is in the ICU."

Micah's face whipped in her direction. "What the fuck are we doing here, then?"

"Hey, you're sitting here, worrying we don't care about you. Pixie, Parker, and I all agreed one of us needed to come get you. Because we all love you. I volunteered because we've got a ton to sort through, a lot that needs unearthing. Mom and Dad might've fucked us up, but we've got a chance now to build the family we always wanted." Eva's chest burned with emotion at the idea. Of settling down with Pixie, of a renewed relationship with her brother, of finding space with the crew at Whipped.

"You asshole," Micah said, turning his head to the side as he let out a sniff.

"Pixie's waiting for us, so why don't we get in my car and go to the hospital?" Eva pushed up from the swing, her feet surprisingly steady on the ground.

"Only if we can talk about how shitty Mom and Dad are. We dodge around it a lot, but we were both just trying to survive their criticisms so much and fit in their mold that we ended up distancing ourselves in the process."

"I'm staying in San Francisco, so we'll have plenty of time to trade war stories," Eva said, taking a step toward Micah. "Can I hug you?"

"You fucking better." He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her in a bear hug as if he tried to crush the life out of her, or more like hammer in how much he cared. Her ribs creaked, and tears stung Eva's eyes as she sank into her brother's embrace. This was more than she could ever have hoped for.

She'd thought losing her parents, her boyfriend and girlfriend, and her home in one sweep would've destroyed her .

Instead, she'd risen like the ashes to find something better and brighter, a future she genuinely longed for.

Micah pulled back at last, and his eyes were shining too. "Come on," he said, clapping her on the shoulder. "Let's go get the girl."