12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

P ixie was looking forward to the Sunday munch at Whipped.

After last night on the couch with Eva, she needed to get out of the house, lest she hurl herself at the woman. Public space was good for that reason alone because she should steer clear, yet she hadn't been able to.

When she'd woken up, her feet carried her forward, and then her body did the rest.

She walked down the bustling sidewalk to the café. The wind blasted around her, and the sun shone with bright, golden rays, and under the veil of day, it was impossible to hide the giddy skip of her heart at the memory of their kiss. Her lips still tingled. At the end of the block, the sign for Whipped stood out, a beacon she always gravitated toward. The number of times she'd been here since she settled into San Francisco bordered on ridiculous, especially for someone who only worked there as a class volunteer.

This was her family, the one who'd welcomed her with open arms and the most stable thing she'd ever had in her life. Except the urge to run still reared up in a big way as of late. Between folks settling down and the increasing distance that gripped her tighter by the day, she'd found herself shutting down more often than not. Declining invitations rather than accepting, withdrawing instead of sharing. Every time she opened her mouth to tell people a little more, the words dried on her tongue.

The minute Pixie pulled open the door and stepped in, the scent of coffee and spices hit her. The chalk sign had a chai latte as the special, so that must have been the delicious blend she caught. Micah stood behind the bar, slinging drinks at a rapid pace. Her best friend fit here perfectly, the way she'd known he would, and the sight made her heart tighten.

Already, Whipped had gathered a sizable crowd for the munch. The place was bustling on Sundays to begin with, but most locals knew about the munch, so if they weren't interested, they swung in for their drink and left. The tables were filled with familiar faces. Parker sat with Nolan, talking to Mags and Finley, and Sloan perched on the lap of a guy she hadn't seen before. In fact, a few new folks appeared in the mix this week, whereas some of the older participants weren't in attendance.

Pixie wandered to the table where Meg sat with Krista and a few others. She gave Meg a hug, then plunked onto a chair, even though she'd be hopping up a moment later to get a drink from Micah.

Meg pulled her in tight for a squeeze, and for a moment, those urges to run away flooded her with guilt. The warmth she experienced here was an indicator this was the right place for her .

"Pixie here is who you want to speak to," Meg said, ruffling her hair affectionately. "She's been working in our classes for years as a sub."

Pixie nodded. "What are we talking about?"

"Krista was interested in helping with our classes too," Meg said. "In case we need other subs for demos and such."

That was logical. Meg was running a business, and Pixie wasn't available twenty-four seven. Still, Pixie's stomach squeezed tight. The idea she was replaceable, even here, circulated through her brain, holding her captive. She sure as hell hadn't been memorable enough for her extended family to try to stick around.

No, they'd abandoned her to care for her mother, even though she'd just been a kid.

"Mmm, yeah," Pixie said, popping up from the seat before Meg could fix her with her eagle eyes. "I better get a drink real fast, but we'll chat about it soon."

She felt Meg's gaze boring into her as she quick-walked away from the table and over to the counter, but she couldn't turn around and deal with it. Not with the way numbness swept through her like the flu at the thought of her friends moving on like she'd never existed. Pixie wasn't na?ve enough to believe Meg wouldn't track her down later to demand answers, but she also needed time to deflect without everything pouring out.

Her therapist would say to confide in her friends. They were probably right. However, as much progress as she'd made, that one thing she struggled with ripped open her shoddily covered wounds.

Pixie stopped in front of the counter, and Micah moved over with his usual smoothness.

"Going to try the special?"

Pixie leveled him with a look. "Am I that predictable? "

He snorted and steamed the milk for it. She didn't need to worry about paying—anyone who worked there got free drinks—though she would for the hell of it. The idea of not getting asked to take on classes anymore crushed her a little bit.

"One blackberry chai right here," Micah said, handing over the drink. His earnest grin sliced right through her heart. Maybe she didn't deserve her friends here. After all, Micah would be so pissed off if he knew she was sleeping with Eva. Last night should never have happened, but these stolen moments with Eva were the only times Pixie didn't feel lost in the fog that had obscured her as of late.

"Thanks, babe." She wrapped her hands around the cup of warm chai. Would Micah be sad or relieved if she had to leave? If she headed to Portland, he'd be free to move in with Parker, which seemed to be the trajectory they'd were heading.

She swallowed hard and turned around, scanning the tables again. She could join Parker and Fin, but a sneak glance at Meg showed the woman hadn't stopped watching her, so if she headed back that way, she'd need to explain her obvious retreat.

The door to the café opened, and a tall guy wearing a leather jacket entered. He froze, his shoulders tight, his gaze darting around. He had newbie written all over him—whether new to kink or the local scene, whatever. However, the lost look in his hazel eyes had her walking his way at once.

"Hey," Pixie said, stopping in front of him. "Are you here for the munch?"

His features crinkled with his grin, which made it clear how gorgeous this guy was. With his olive skin, solid frame, and Greek model good looks, he would find himself with plenty of interest.

"Is it that obvious I'm floundering? "

Pixie shrugged. "We get newbies on the regular. So, is this your first munch?"

"First munch, yeah. And first time going out socially since I moved."

She guided him over to the counter. "Start with a drink, and I'll introduce you to everyone. Where did you move from?"

"Collier's Creek. All the way out in Wyoming."

"Well, damn, that's the jump. You landed in the right place if you're looking to meet people at least."

"Oh, who's this?" Micah looked him up and down with a slow perusal. Chances were Parker was watching, and Micah flirted on purpose. The little shit was such a brat. Pixie was shocked she'd known him so long as vanilla, given how easily he'd slid into the lifestyle.

"My name's Kai," he said, offering a palm to shake, just like a small-town boy. Pixie had to bite back her grin as Micah extended a delicate hand, feigning being overwhelmed. Kai's brows wrinkled in confusion, but when a shadow loomed over a second later, Micah had clearly gotten his intended attention.

"Hey, man," Parker said, the big guy introducing himself. "Welcome to Whipped's munch." He paused to cast a firm look to Micah, reaching over to tip his boyfriend's chin up and plant a kiss on his lips. It lingered the slightest bit. The two were so ridiculously in love she had to look away sometimes, the intensity reminiscent of staring at the sun. Deep down, she wanted that too, even though she rarely let those dreams surface. When Parker pulled back, he apologized. "Sorry. My bratty boyfriend needed some attention."

Kai lifted his brows. "Ah, so that's what it's like around here."

Pixie snorted. "Welcome to Whipped. We all tend to overshare here. "

"And the other kind of sharing's welcome too." Fin slung an arm over Pixie's shoulders.

Kai blinked a few times, clearly in overload.

Pixie swatted at Fin. "Don't scare him away. We like new people." She turned to Kai. "Before the rest of this lot overwhelm you, get your drink and join us at the tables."

"What? No hello?" Fin pecked a kiss against Pixie's temple. Hell, she didn't know why she hadn't gone around to give the usual hugs. Her subtle withdrawing had been more and more common as of late, retracting in little ways without her even realizing it.

"I've been a bad, bad girl," she said, even though her heart wasn't fully in it. She enjoyed playing with Fin, but the person whose attention she really wanted wasn't there. Micah had mentioned the munch to Eva, but given the bomb that had exploded in her life, the probability of her showing up was low. Most likely for the best. This riot of feelings toward the woman was difficult as fuck to navigate, especially because she couldn't let Micah know.

"Don't tempt me," Fin said. "I'm itching for another scene again. Last week was fun as fuck."

Pixie's cheeks heated at the memory of last Play Night. That had been her first experience with Eva, but last night, the intimacy, the need to be quiet, the way Eva had been filthy and caring in the same breath, had brought some of her deepest fantasies to life.

"Okay, I've got a latte." Kai approached with his coffee in hand. "Now point me in a direction."

Pixie steered them to the table where Nolan and Krista were sitting. Parker was giving his boy more attention, so they'd be a while. She slipped in next to Nolan and leaned in to give him a hug.

"Hey, lovely," He ran his fingers through her hair. The touch was soothing and affectionate. "You've been quiet recently. "

Pixie swallowed hard. Damn this crew. Even without her ripping herself open, they read her better than most. However, the person who'd honed in on her faster than anyone had been Eva. That had been a startling revelation—maybe the reason why she'd found herself confessing secrets to the woman she hadn't told anyone else.

"Micah's sister might be staying a bit longer," she said instead of diving into her personal shit.

"Oh good," Nolan said, his eyes twinkling. "I want her to get all dommy on me. Watching her the other week was hot ."

A weird brew of longing and jealousy stirred through her in one ferocious sweep. Part of her needed Eva's eyes fixed on her, while the other part wanted to see Eva teasing and toying with Nolan while he squirmed. Both of those feelings were foreign to her. She rarely wished for someone in her life like that, but the feverish imaginings that had danced in her head lately were downright dangerous.

She'd always believed she was lucky to be alive after surviving her childhood. Asking for more was like tempting the fates to tragedy.

"Definitely hot," Pixie said, trying to make up for her lapse of quiet. "Anyway, this is Kai. He's new to town."

Nolan waggled his brows. "New and gorgeous." God, this group was a bunch of horndogs. Kai would either fall into the mix wonderfully or get scared off after the first munch.

"Well, you folks know how to make a guy feel welcome." Kai took a sip from his latte.

"That's one way of putting it," Pixie said.

The door swung open again, and Eva stepped inside.

Pixie's heart somersaulted. She looked far more composed than yesterday, back to her normal self—her auburn hair in a low chignon, her low black shirt showcasing enough of her olive skin to be mouthwatering. Between the tan skirt displaying those curvy hips and tan pumps highlighting her muscular legs, the woman was stunning. Pixie was well aware she stared, but it was worth it when Eva's gaze snagged on hers across the room. Her eyes softened, and Pixie's heart thudded even harder.

"Excuse me for a second." Pixie pushed up from her seat. She left her drink, since she'd be back, but she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to welcome Eva herself.

Eva met her midway, and her lips quirked into a secretive smile. "Hey there." The words were simple but with a quiet intimacy. Warmth spread through her chest like the spice of the chai.

"You decided to go?" Pixie said, leading Eva toward the coffee bar.

Eva heaved out a sigh. "Yes, but not for fun. I figured I could catch both you and Micah here and I can tell the two of you at once."

Pixie chewed on her lower lip, unease slithering in. "Is it more to do with back home?"

Eva nodded. "Though nothing drastic." She stopped in front of the counter, and Micah plucked himself from the conversation he was having with Parker.

"You made it," he said, grabbing an empty cup. "Do you still drink your boring-as-fuck cappuccinos?"

Eva rolled her eyes. "If that's your way of making me one, sure."

Micah let out a bark of a laugh, and Pixie relaxed somewhat at seeing Eva's sarcastic humor intact.

"I've got to drive to Reno tonight to pick up my stuff," Eva said, red-hot irritation in her tone. "Jack's getting the house ready for the sale, and he ‘doesn't want my shit cluttering his space.'"

Micah furrowed his brow. "Do you need me to come with you? I might be small, but I'm scrappy."

Eva shook her head, even though the strain lines around her eyes were a dead giveaway that the trip would be agonizing, and she wanted to offer to join. However, with the way Eva's shoulders were braced, Pixie sensed this was something she needed to do by herself.

"Nah, I'd rather swoop in as fast as possible and with minimal drama." She arched a brow. "You bring the drama, Micah."

He lifted the cappuccino toward her. "Maybe I should withhold this for that rude and accurate statement."

Pixie sucked in a sharp breath. "So, are you leaving now?"

"Yeah, as soon as possible," she said, her gaze lingering a little too long. "It's over four hours to drive back, so I'll be crashing at a motel in the area before making the return trek."

Where did they stand after last night? Had it been a random hookup, or would Eva want to do it again? However, she couldn't deny the urge to lean in and kiss this woman before she left. Part of her never trusted promises to return because anything could happen. She'd fallen prey to a lot of her mother's at first, when her mom wasn't in her right mind, so she'd wrapped caution tape around everything after that.

An idea came to her. "I've got a spare key in the breakroom. In case you come back while one of us is out or working."

"Thanks," Eva said, and Pixie headed to the back of Whipped. It wasn't a lie. She did keep a spare in the breakroom due to how many times she'd misplaced her keys, but she had an ulterior motivation.

She stepped into the small corridor to the offices and the staff breakroom. The lights were all off, since during the munch, everyone was out on the floor. She slipped inside and went to her cubby to fish out the key.

As much as she wanted to ask for a kiss, to ask to hook up again, to ask if Eva was returning, her nerves deserted her. "Here," she said, extending the key .

Eva crossed her arms. "Oh, so it was actually a key?" The woman's wry tone of voice soothed her.

Heat rose to her cheeks. "Partially."

Eva prowled toward her, and Pixie didn't move. Her whole body vibrated with need, with want for Eva's mouth on hers, her touch before Eva drove back to Reno. Maybe to never return.

The tension stretched between them, but Eva took her time closing the distance, inch by excruciating inch, until her body was a mere inch from Pixie's, until her breath puffed against her cheeks, her lips. Eva stared at her with an intensity, visible even from the dim hallway lighting pouring in.

"We've got to stop meeting in the dark like this," Eva said.

She leaned down and kissed her. Eva wrapped her hand around Pixie's nape, guiding her into the kiss, and she swept her tongue into her mouth with a caress that weakened her at the knees. The way Eva took the lead was everything Pixie needed, the reassurance she wasn't imagining this crazy connection flaring to life between them.

Except attraction was easy—Pixie was wildly attracted to many individuals.

No, the rarity was this deep-seated sense of safety around Eva, not something she'd experienced from anyone.

Her core throbbed as Eva lapped at her mouth, claiming her over and over. The rush to her head was pure euphoria, and she wanted to lose herself in these sensations for as long as possible. It was like when she was a kid and used to wade as deep as she could into the ocean, feeling the bob and sway around her, the blue depths surrounding her. In those moments, everything grew lighter, effervescent. In those moments, her mind went quiet, and she just felt .

She drank in the taste of this woman, sharp like coffee, and her firm yet soft lips brushing against Pixie's. The heat blooming between them turned her legs to jelly. Pixie let out a little moan, unable to help herself.

Eva pulled back, a smirk on her lips so sultry and devastatingly hot Pixie couldn't stand it. "I'll see you soon."

With that, Eva stepped away and, offering a tiny wave, walked through the door.

Pixie stood there in the dark, dumbstruck by the kiss. She traced her fingertips along her lower lip like she might be able to capture the sparks of electricity dancing there and keep them.

Because who knew if she'd get to experience them again?