Nine

I was in a bad fucking mood, and I couldn"t tell why.

For once, I"d slept the whole night, curled up securely in Eben"s tentacles, with my head on his shoulder. I"d woken up refreshed, but every minute since then, I"d been growing angrier and angrier.

It wasn"t anything Eben had done, or even Nala or Tarika. They were all amazing as always, and yet everything was getting on my nerves. I didn"t understand why I was feeling this way.

I"d even snapped at Eben after he"d asked me if I was okay for the third time, and now I sat out on the patio with my chin on my knees, watching the waves wash onto the shore as I tried to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me.

I shivered as a breeze washed over me, squeezing myself tighter. I"d gotten used to having Eben"s tentacles wrapped around me at all times, and without them, I finally noticed the weather had started to cool down sometime this past week.

Why was I behaving like this? The last two-and-a-half weeks since I"d woken up had been great, despite the nightmares and the missing memories.

It wasn"t Eben I was angry at, or the others. I was angry at...at what"d happened.

As much as I was glad to have met Eben, we could"ve crossed paths some other way, couldn"t we?

I was angry that I"d been abducted off the streets and held captive for six months and no one had noticed. No one had looked for me, and I was probably already just another queer boy statistic, if anyone had even noticed I was gone.

Why had the monster targeted me? Had I just been easy prey, or was there something about me that had caught his attention? What would make a person want to hurt another person like that?

What was I supposed to do now? How was I supposed to deal with this when I couldn"t even remember how I"d gotten all the scars that now littered my body? When all I remembered was darkness and pain?

I sensed more than heard Eben walk up behind me, but he stopped near the sliding door without saying a word. He simply lingered there, as if unsure if I"d want him closer.

Fuck, I hated this. I hated that I"d taken out my anger on the one person who"d kept me sane the past few weeks.

Raising my head, I twisted my torso to look up at him, then patted the spot beside me. "Join me?"

Eben"s eyes lit up instantly, which just made me feel even worse. Sliding the door open just enough to step outside, he walked over and sat down beside me, his tentacles hovering near me without touching. I cursed myself for making him so doubtful before shifting closer and pressing into his touch. Instantly, his tentacles wrapped around me, holding me to him like he never planned to let go, and the cold that"d clung to me finally dissipated.

"I"m sorry," I whispered softly, breathing him in. Even sitting outside with the sea and the salty breeze right there, Eben"s scent was thicker, stronger, and so comforting. "You didn"t deserve that."

"It"s okay. You"re dealing with a lot." Understanding as always. I hated the bitter edge to my thoughts. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrugged, then sank further into his hold, letting him carry all my weight because I knew he could.

"I just… I"m so angry, Eben. Don"t get me wrong. I"m so happy to be here with you. I really am. But I"m also so angry that some asshole held me captive for six months and did God knows what to me and no one found me. No one probably even realized I was in trouble, because I have no one. No one gives a crap about me, and I knew that. I"ve always known that. Why does it still hurt so fucking much?" My voice broke as I spoke, and I pressed myself into him, as if he could somehow soak up all the anger and darkness swirling inside me.

He squeezed tighter around me, his arms and tentacles shielding me from everything. "I"m so sorry, Hobie. I"m sorry you had to go through all that, and I"m especially sorry it took me so long to find you. If only I"d looked for you before, if I"d found you before that monster ever got his hands on you..." Eben trailed off, his voice pained, and I shook my head as I burrowed deeper into him. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I could climb all the way inside him and just...be. Without all these wrecked emotions clawing at me and making me wish for things that could never happen.

"It"s not your fault."

Eben sighed, his breath warm on the top of my head. I"d never thought of myself as a clingy man. Actually, I"d never really had someone I felt comfortable clinging to, so maybe I just hadn"t known the right person before. But with Eben, I always wanted to be in contact with him. Even if it was just one of his tentacles holding onto my waist and steadying me, I felt unbalanced without his touch. Eben was the only person who could touch me without startling me or sending me into a panic. I"d gotten better at allowing Tarika and Nala near, but even then, I always panicked if they did it without explicitly telling me or broadcasting their moves.

"Still, I wish I"d found you before. I wish I"d been able to protect you from all this hurt," Eben said, his voice rough. God, he was such a good person. "You were wrong about one thing, though."

"What?" I asked warily, and he squeezed me tighter, as if he could somehow squeeze the wariness out of me.

"You have people who care about you now. Nala and Tarika, and me. We care about you a lot, and we"d never let anything happen to you now that you"re here with us." Eben sounded like a righteous knight. My kraken white knight, huh?

I couldn"t help smiling at his declaration, and I clutched harder at his shirt as I sighed softly. "I know I do. You—all three of you—have taken such good care of me since the day you rescued me. I"m really grateful for that, especially because I know you would"ve done the same even if I wasn"t your mate."

Eben huffed, then pulled back to give me a contemplative look. "I wouldn"t have brought you here if you weren"t my mate, but I would"ve made sure you got proper treatment. And tracked down the bastard so he wouldn"t be able to hurt another person like he did you," he growled, eyes flashing, and I blinked.

"You could do that?"

The breeze was getting colder by the minute. The weather could change on a dime in the North Sea, and I wanted to get Hobie inside before he caught a cold, which meant we needed to finish this conversation quick. Until then, I"d make sure he stayed warm enough.

I couldn"t quite read the look on Hobie"s face when he asked the question, but I nodded hesitantly.

"I could. It would take a while since we don"t have a lot to go on except a general direction, maybe the city you lived in, but we could try. Nala and Tarika are good at finding things."

Hobie blinked, and then a full-body shudder washed through him.

"Are you okay? We don"t have to talk about this," I murmured, and he shook his head. Glancing up at me, he swallowed hard, his brown eyes dark and pained.

"Could you...could you find him? Maybe if I saw him, he"d seem less terrifying."

I gritted my teeth to keep from scowling, not wanting him to think I was angry with him. "He won"t look scary at all when I eat him in a single bite," I grumbled, and, surprising me, Hobie let out a dry chuckle.

"That certainly would make him less scary." He chewed on his lower lip, his gaze on me. "Do you think it"s stupid? Wanting to see him?"

Sighing, I shook my head, resting my forehead against the top of his head. His hair was soft and silky against my skin, and I breathed in the sweet scent of him as I gathered my thoughts. "It"s not stupid to want closure, Hobie. You never saw him, did you?"

Hobie shook his head, clinging harder to me. "I don"t remember."

I held him to me, wishing yet again I could protect him from his thoughts, from his broken memories that tormented him day and night. For all my strength, that wasn"t something I was capable of.

"Then it makes sense that you"d want to put a face to all that hurt. And if it makes you feel better, I will eat him. Or if you"d rather I didn"t, I know a few sharks who"d be happy to do it."

As I"d expected, his lips twisted up into a smile. "Do you really?" he asked skeptically, and I huffed.

"I do! They"re siblings, and they live further out in the sea. I"ll introduce you sometime," I promised him, and he sighed, though it wasn"t full of pain this time. He looked more relaxed as he tucked his head under my chin again and closed his eyes, his limbs falling lax as he let me hold him. The wound on his leg was healing well, and the other cuts and bruises on him had all but disappeared. Yet the mental wounds he"d received were still fresh and bleeding, and if seeing the man who"d hurt him get eaten by a kraken—or a shark—would make him feel better, then I"d make sure it happened.

"I"m so glad you found me, Eben," Hobie mumbled sleepily, his hold on my shirt loosening as sleep started pulling at him. I debated moving him to his bed, but he seemed to sleep better when we were touching, and I supposed there wasn"t anything wrong with letting him take a short nap. It wasn"t like I"d get sore sitting here for too long, and I"d make sure he didn"t either. I might need to fetch a blanket from the couch. I hoped my tentacle would be able to stretch out far enough.

"I"m glad I found you too."

I watched him as he fell asleep, his lips parting slightly as his breathing relaxed. He looked so much younger when he was resting, all the stress lines gone from his face. This was how he would"ve looked if life hadn"t put him through the wringer, if I"d found him before he ended up on the streets, struggling to feed himself every day. Before some bastard had abducted and hurt him.

"Cut it out," Nala said as he settled on the patio beside me, and I blinked, surprised I hadn"t sensed him approach. Just how lost in my thoughts had I been?

"What?" I asked when I realized he"d said something, and he shot me a knowing look.

"I might not have known you for a long time, but I still know you, Eben. You"re beating yourself up. Probably because you think you should"ve found Hobie sooner." Nala tilted his head and scanned my face as if he could read my thoughts on it.

I shook my head and glanced away, unwilling to confirm his guess. Nala threw his arm around my shoulders, careful not to touch Hobie. When he was asleep, only I could touch him without waking him up in terror, and our friends understood that.

"Eben, don"t do that. You know as well as I do that you can"t change the past, no matter how much you want to. Thinking about the what-ifs will only bring you more pain. Both of you."

I huffed, grumbling under my breath before I glanced over at him. "When did you get so wise?"

Nala grinned, flashing his sharp teeth as he laughed softly. "I think Tarika"s rubbing off on me."

"Yeah, that must be why," I said with a smile, then sighed. "You"re right. I know you are. But when he"s having a bad day, I just..." I trailed off with a shake of my head, and Nala gave my shoulders a squeeze.

"I know. I wish we could do something to help."

"Actually, Hobie wants to see the man who tried to kill him."

Nala"s brows shot up. "Excuse me, what?"

I nodded, then explained Hobie"s reasoning and my promise of making the human into shark food. Nala nodded along, then shot to his feet as I finished.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he climbed down the patio steps, and he shot me a look.

"To Tarika, of course. We"ll need to figure out a game plan to find that asshole, won"t we?" He raced off before I could get a word in, and I shook my head with a smile.

"See, Hobie? You have people who care about you now. And we"re going to make sure that asshole never hurts anyone else the way he hurt you."