Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

V a'rik awoke and automatically reached for Amanda. She wasn't next to him. Panic swept over him. She wouldn't leave him without saying goodbye, would she?

He jumped to his feet, startling Hammy, but the levet only opened an eye before curling up again.

"La'tok'at'bron," he yelled, as he raced out into the corridor. "Where is she?"

The door to the observatory slid open. He flung himself inside, his heart rate finally slowing as he saw Amanda—safe and unharmed and still with him. Relief swept over him as he pulled her into his arms, but she didn't melt against him as she usually did. Her body felt stiff.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"La'tok'at'bron says I can return to Earth." Her voice sounded equally stiff. "He says that I was brought here as an experiment, but that it's my choice if I wish to return. He seemed surprised that you hadn't told me."

"I apologize." La'tok'at'bron's tentacles waved. "I did not realize how little she knew."

He hadn't wanted her to find out like this, but how could he blame the other scientist? It was his own fault for not telling her sooner.

"Did you know about this, Va'rik?"

His heart ached, and he stepped away from her. "I did."

"How did you know?" she whispered.

"Because La'tok'at'bron and I designed the experiment together," he admitted.

The shock on her face was gradually turning to anger. "So you were the one responsible for bringing me here? For ripping me away from my life? From Billy?"

"I was the one who made that choice," La'tok'at'bron interjected, but she was still staring up at him.

"Did you know all along?" Her laugh held a bitter note. "You're quite an actor."

"I didn't know. Not at first."

She gave him a skeptical look. "When did you remember?"

He didn't pretend to misunderstand.

"The night after the city. After we were… together."

She looked away from him, but not before he saw the hurt replacing the anger in her eyes. That was even worse. "All this time and you didn't tell me?"

"I did not want you to look at me the way you are looking at me now."

"Why?" she whispered, then shook her head. "You know what? I don't care. I want to go… home. Now."

"If that is what you wish," La'tok'at'bron said.

"What about Hammy?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "Will you take him?"

"I can't. He doesn't belong on Earth." For the first time since he'd told her the truth, she looked at him. "Will you take care of him?"

"Always."

The pain on her face almost broke him. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to comfort her, but he was the cause of her pain. Straightening her shoulders, she turned to La'tok'at'bron.

"I'm ready."

"I will go with you," he said.

"No. I… couldn't stand that." The last words were almost too faint for him to hear, but her posture didn't soften.

"How does this work?" she asked La'tok'at'bron.

"Follow me."

The tank floated out of the room, and she followed it. She didn't look back.

Amanda followed La'tok'at'bron down the corridor. Her chest ached so badly that she could almost believe she was having a heart attack. She had never realized that the term heart ache was so accurate.

Another door opened and he floated through. The small room bore a disconcerting resemblance to a hospital room, the only furniture a lab table that occupied the center of the room.

"Please lie down while I make my preparations." His tank hovered by one wall and she saw the wall light up, the flickering display moving too fast for her to comprehend.

"Why?" she asked as she perched on the edge of the table. "Why are you doing this?"

"To save our race. Our people were on the verge of extinction. They wait for us to find an answer."

Could a disembodied voice sound sad?

"So you brought me here as what? A breeder?" Her voice shook with anger.

"Of course not. That would delay the inevitable by no more than a generation or two. But we have studied the reasons why races cease to exist for thousands of years. We believe that the answer lies in the ability to bond with others. Humans have the ability to inspire that bond—and we hope that will enable our race to survive."

"Thousands of years? You're trying to tell me you're that old?"

"This form requires little maintenance," La'tok'at'bron said.

"But you said we. Didn't you mean Va'rik too?"

"He was in this form until recently. He chose to be transformed."

Va'rik had been floating around in a tank? It sounded impossible, but she remembered how confused he had been when she found him, how unfamiliar with physical sensation. His reaction to her kiss. His uncertain memory…

"Why did he do that?"

"Because he wanted to experience a mate bond for himself. I believe he was… lonely."

His words triggered a reluctant sympathy, but she shoved the feeling aside. "Why me? Why did you choose me to test your theory?"

"We have already proven it," La'tok'at'bron said. "There are other couples here already."

A screen flickered behind him, then various scenes appeared. Human females, each of them with an alien male. Three of the women had babies, and the fourth was obviously pregnant. They looked… happy, but she was too angry to care.

"I thought you said you didn't want breeders?"

"We do not. That does not mean that we do not want to create families. It is a natural extension of the mate bond."

"Well, I already have a family, and I want to return to him," she snapped.

"I understand. I apologize for not investigating your situation more thoroughly." The screens flickered again, then went dark. "I am ready. Please lie down."

Her pulse beat a rapid tempo as she obeyed.

"What's going to happen?"

"You will fall asleep and wake up in your own bed. You can take nothing with you."

"Not even my shoes?" Her toes gripped the sandals Va'rik had made for her.

"No. Living tissue must be transmitted separately from inanimate objects."

"Is that why I was naked when I arrived?"

"Precisely."

More tears threatened as she fought the urge to flee from the room. Billy , she thought desperately, clinging to his image as La'tok'at'bron did something mysterious in the corner.

"I am sorry to see you leave, Amanda Cushing. You were perfect for Va'rik. And he for you."

Before she could respond, a thick, warm cloud started to envelop her. Her limbs felt too heavy to move, and her thoughts slowed. Her last thought was of Va'rik, and then darkness took her.

Va'rik looked up as La'tok'at'bron returned.

"It is done."

His chest ached so badly that he almost checked for a wound. Hammy nuzzled his hand, and he wasn't sure if the levet was offering or receiving comfort.

"You let her go," La'tok'at'bron observed. "I am surprised."

"We always said that they would have a choice." He paced restlessly. "I never realized it would be this hard."

"You did not ask her to stay."

"How could I? She has a child."

"The child could have joined her here."

The thought made his pain even worse. To have both a mate and a child… But he had nothing.

"Why would she bring him here? In order to save our species?" A bitter laugh escaped. "Why should she care?"

La'tok'at'bron made a sound that would have been a sigh if he'd had a physical mouth. "No, you idiot. To save you. Because you love her."

The words hit him with blinding clarity. They explained all of the feelings and impulses that had confused him. Of course he loved her. But…

"I did not tell her."

"No."

"I have to go after her."