Chapter 4

Diesel

After less than two hours of sleep, I barely opened my eyes when my alarm went off. I finished working at the club around three in the morning and didn't get home until four. Imagine how pissed off I was when I stepped into my joint bedroom with Andrei, only to find Miles had stayed the night.

Regardless of my hatred for the rich asshole, I never understood why the hell he insisted on sleeping here when he lived in this big-ass Hidden Hills mansion with his gay parents. Not that I cared about anyone being gay.

Because of Andrei's unwelcome guest, I spent the night on the roof. Technically, I loved sleeping there because of the ocean breeze and fresh air. I wouldn't always have access to freedom, so I took advantage of it while I could because it was only a matter of time before I ended up back in jail. It was in my fucking DNA. My future was written for me by the assholes who raised me.

Since we had one of those flat roofs, I turned it into more of a room by bringing a mattress up, some records I loved listening to, and an old record player I found at a flea market for a steal. I even hung up some lights to make the place look better for my baby plants. Yeah… I grow houseplants because they are fucking awesome. And while I loved it up here, on chilly January nights like tonight, sleeping on the roof was a bitch. So fuck Andrei, and fuck that wet hamster he called his boyfriend.

After quitting my job at the beach club, thanks to that blond piece of shit, Shay-Lee, I started working for Dion. At first, I applied to other places, but after working my ass off for nearly two weeks while earning minimum wage doing crappy jobs, I was done and figured working for that crazy motherfucker wouldn't be so bad. So far, it wasn't. I made a ton of money, ensured Iván was kept safe, and also managed to put some extra cash aside. Besides, it was only temporary. Once I finished my senior year, I was packing my bags and leaving this goddamn place behind.

Tired and cold, I dragged my ass back downstairs. With my hand shoved in my boxer briefs to keep me warm and my eyes half closed, I walked straight to the bathroom. I didn't bother to check if it was empty before pushing on the door. Maybe I should have because the stupid door was locked, and I walked right into it, slamming my head on the hardwood.

"Son of a bitch," I cursed, rubbing the bump on my forehead.

"What's wrong?" Andrei jumped into the hall wearing nothing but a pair of skintight boxer briefs. "Oh, it's just you." He sounded disappointed when he saw it was me in the hallway.

"Yeah, just me," I grunted.

His brows drew close. "What happened to you?"

"The door was fucking locked, and half asleep, I bumped into it."

"Oh, shit, that sucks." He tried to hide his smile. "Anyway, Miles is in there, doing his morning skin-care routine. I wouldn't wait if I were you. It takes forever." His tone was casual, as if it was legit for his boyfriend to become a household member and take over our shared bathroom.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped, then turned to the door and knocked on it with rage.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Andrei, who was about to return to our room, now stepped out. "Seriously, I just told you Miles was in there."

"And he's about to get the fuck out." The wooden door quaked with the force of my fists, but I didn't hit it hard enough to break.

"Chill out, man." Andrei reached for me when the door flew open, and I was face-to-face with the problem.

Miles whatever-his-last-name-was became a problem the minute my best friend laid eyes on his boney ass on the first day of school. Until those two met, my boy was my gravity. We had each other's back no matter what. That was our rule ever since we first met in juvie. A rule that apparently didn't apply when one of us found himself in a relationship. In the last few months, Andrei had shown his true colors, which turned out to be royal blue. He and Miles were so far up each other's ass, literally and figuratively, that they ceased to realize that the world didn't revolve around them and that not everyone was happy about the parade they called their relationship. Take now, for example, where they thought it was alright to take the bathroom hostage.

"Good morning to you, too, Sunshine," Miles said with a fake smile plastered on his lips, and God, did I want to punch him in the face. He disliked me, not that I gave a shit, and by now, he didn't even try to hide it.

Ignoring his good morning snarl, I pushed past him, but not before telling him to fuck off. Sure, some may say the guy was pretty, and I assumed that was why Andrei followed him around like a lovesick puppy. But other than his basic appearance, the dude was dull as fuck. The only somewhat interesting part about his flat personality was his struggle with mental health, which was a subject I cared deeply about, but even that he did pretentiously.

For months, instead of being honest with Andrei that he was bipolar, Miles lied to him. By doing so, he unintentionally caused Andrei to feel guilty for his suicide attempt. If I disliked Miles before that, I hated him now. I knew it wasn't my place to judge a person for the way they dealt with their own life, especially when it came to their mental health. I only ever cared because it affected Andrei. Growing up with a golden spoon deep-throating him, Miles had no fucking clue about taking responsibility for his life, which drove me nuts. The problem was that Andrei was beginning to act the same way. They were the small changes that made me notice it, like the time he told me I was the same as that blond, psychotic fucker, Shay-Lee Rogers, who also happened to be Miles's best friend. From what I understood, they were no longer friends, which was good because that guy was insane. At the beginning of the year, the crazy bitch tried to mess with us, but I put an end to it.

Ready to wash my face, I ignored the unicorn and rainbow stickers Jessie decided to glue to the mirror and focused on my reflection. Moving my hand over my face and down my body, I stopped when I reached the fresh scar from when I got stabbed on Christmas Day. After lingering on it for a minute, I turned around and glanced over my shoulder to see the old scar covering my entire lower back. My skin had been torn and ripped from my body, which had healed hideously into sunken and lumpy flesh. It looked like someone had chewed my back and spat it back out, letting time mold the lumps back into shape. Even though I loved tattoos, I kept this spot clean because it was a reminder of who I was. A reminder I swore never to forget. That was why being told by my best friend that I was the same as someone like Shay-Lee made me furious.

I was nothing like that guy.

You know it isn't true.

The memory of the night on the hotel balcony slashed me like a knife, and I clenched the sink until my knuckles turned white, forcing my brain to block it out—images of his hurt body in my arms, him crying, and how it messed me up. Even now, recalling his agony twisted my insides in a way I didn't appreciate. He was a broken soul, and so was I, but that didn't make us the same. And yet, I still found myself drawn to him, no matter how much I fought it.

My phone still held the voice recording of him extorting that other kid while also admitting to fabricating evidence. I had no fucking idea what made me record him that day at the hospital. I was even more clueless as to how a few minutes later, and for the second time, I found myself with my fingers wrapped around his neck. It was really the third time I choked him if you took into account the incident in gym class, where I stomped on his chest until he gagged like a bitch.

Those thoughts followed me as I stepped into the shower and didn't leave me despite the cold water. Upset, I got out and brushed my teeth, still thinking about how pissed off I was. Spitting into the sink, I rinsed my mouth and moved a hand through my thick stubble. I actually preferred a clean-shaven jaw, but the women in the club liked the roughness. I decided to shave anyway, but it would have to wait for later because, right now, I was dying for a cigarette.

A loud bang on the door, followed by Jessie's quirky, high-pitched voice, pulled me out of my head.

"I need to pee!" he shouted again while knocking on the door.

With a grunt, I yanked the door open, and the idiot stumbled on his feet until he reached the toilet. Pulling his dick out, he breathed with relief as he emptied his bladder. The sound of his piss hitting the water annoyed the shit out of me, and I wrinkled my nose.

"You could have waited until I was outside."

"I just really needed to pee." He gave himself a little shake before tucking himself back in. "And you took forever. What were you doing? And why are you so pissed off?"

Too early for his questions.

"I'm pissed because I don't want to see your tiny-ass dick first thing in the morning."

"Hey," he squealed. "It is not tiny, thank you very much. And for your information, I'm a grower, not a shower."

Rolling my eyes, I stepped out of the bathroom. "I don't give a shit."

He followed me out. "Seriously! Wanna see?"

"Fuck no."

"I'll get it hard for you. Just give me a second."

"What the hell are you talking about, Jessie?"

Oh great, the other one is also awake.

"Stop speaking nonsense, Kotik," Levi said after Jessie explained.

"What's going on?" Andrei and Miles also poked their heads out of my room, making the cramped corridor even more crammed.

"Nothing. Diesel said I have a small dick, and I told him that's not the case." Jessie turned to look at Andrei. "You know I'm a grower, not a shower, right?"

"Yeah, of course, man."

"Jessie," Levi whined.

"Not that there's anything bad about having a small penis. It just doesn't apply to me. I'm above average, isn't that right, Babydoll?"

Before Levi could answer, I butted in. "I don't fucking care. Okay?" I scowled at them all. "Unlike you, I don't care about dicks. Not in the slightest. If it isn't my own, I don't want to see or hear about it." With that being said, I left the four of them standing in the hall and went downstairs to smoke that cigarette I craved.