Chapter Thirty-Eight

"

H orner," the jailor calls just as I finish out my fourth hour behind bars.

Ryan eyes me through a small window as I sign for my possessions and account for them in a plastic bag before I'm buzzed through another door. It's only when we're outside that his lecture begins.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, tugging my coat tightly around me.

"Don't play stupid. You got arrested for going a hundred and three in a fifty and caught with nearly an ounce of weed. What do you call that?"

"A fantastic Thursday afternoon?"

"This isn't funny!"

"Depends on who you're asking." I frown. "And that was some damn good weed. I guess I'll have to go back to that deli."

Ryan blinks at me like I just shot him.

"I was just feeling nostalgic."

"Who in the hell are you?" he asks, eyeing me.

"Relax, you can get the charges dropped. They didn't even fingerprint me. It was a power play. He wanted to send a message."

"You mean—"

"Shhh," I laugh, darting my eyes left and right. "Dare not say his name."

"Cecelia, this isn't funny. I looked into him. He owns half this town, including the hotel I'm staying at."

"The police too. And I'm aware. And I asked you specifically not to do that."

"So, you are aware Exodus Inc—"

"Very."

"He's a bigger player than Jerry was."

"Operative word for Jerry being was ," I counter.

"I don't trust him," Ryan grabs my elbow and escorts me to the parking lot.

I sober. "Neither do I."

"Then why are you poking this bear?"

"I told you, he owes me."

"He had you thrown in jail. I don't think you should plan on collecting."

"I will. Don't you see it's working?"

"Yeah, I can see how you would think that," he snaps sarcastically.

"Tobias is a different animal. But I need you to trust me."

"This town is starting to freak me out."

"Feeling eyes on you everywhere, huh?"

"It's not funny.

"Oh, but it is. I've got him right where I want him."

"Only if that's annoyed."

"Exactly."

"I really hope you know what you're doing."

"I do. Kind of."

He sighs. "I can get the possession charge dropped, and the ticket reduced to something less criminal, but you aren't getting your car back."

I pause my walk. "What?"

"There was a van on the road, and so they accused you of street racing. They're impounding your Audi for a minimum of thirty days. I may be able to wipe the charges, but small towns like this will suck you dry with penalties to make their quota."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine, that was fucking reckless. What are you doing?" he asks as he escorts me to his car. I go to take the keys, and he jerks his head. "Hell no. You're lucky you got to keep your license."

"Fine." I sigh and get in when he opens the passenger door.

"This is not like you. What is happening here?"

"I'm sorry, Dad. Let's just pay the fines, and I'll figure a car out."

"I've already got a rental lined up. But, Cee—"

"I had a moment," I admit sheepishly. "It was stupid. It's over."

Once behind the wheel he regards me carefully. "You've been having moments since we got here."

"I know, okay? I know. I've just been feeling a little restless lately."

"What exactly happened here?"

"Too much to explain, and too unbelievable for you to imagine."

I turn to him, resigned. I trust Ryan with my life. He's the one and only person who's helped me with my side hustle in bringing the most notorious down. He's proven himself time and time again. "Am I really losing you?"

"Yes. Answer the question."

"I did answer you, just before you resigned."

"This shit right here is why I'm not changing my mind."

He starts the car and takes off, driving me toward my father's house.

"I don't want to go back there."

"Tough shit. You need to really think about what you're doing. You've all but declared war on a man who does nothing but glare at you."

"Haven't noticed." I stare out the window as clusters of evergreens pass in a blur. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

"It's fine, Cee, just, I'm worried." He glances over at me. "Just tell me how I can help fix the real problem."

"You can't. No one can. He knows what I want, and until he gives it to me, I'm stuck here in limbo." I cover his arm with my hand over the console. "You can go home. I'm set up here now. I have to see this through."

"Look at what just happened. You think I'll leave you here to deal with it alone?"

"It's the only way to deal with it," I say, resigned. "It's time, Ryan. I've got to do this myself."

I turn back to the passing landscape and see we're already on the long road back to the house. "Our business is concluded; it's all personal now."

I can feel his blue eyes on me but decide not to acknowledge it as he pulls up to the gate, and I give him the code. He whistles in appreciation as we draw closer to the house. "Nice."

"It's a great big fucking lie."

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I mean there's no life inside that house. It's haunted. Want a tour?"

"I do, but I won't."

"Why?"

"Because I'll try to kiss you. And you won't let me."

"Ryan—"

He grips the wheel, irritated. "I fucking hate this. I hate the fact that I have to go home and find another job." He turns to me. "But I will. And I'll find another woman to love. A more beautiful woman, a smarter woman, a woman who isn't in love with someone else. Should be easy," he drawls sarcastically.

I lean over and kiss his jaw. "You will find her, Ryan. I know you will. Don't settle. And when you resent me a little less and love her a lot more, please reach out to me. I already miss you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I've got me. You've done your job."

He shakes his head. "This doesn't feel right. I can wait."

"I'm under his protection here. He'll be hard-pressed to admit it, but you don't have to worry about my safety. Trust me. I'm not. Go home. Find that job, but take a salary until you do. But I know someone who could really use you."

"It won't be the same."

"Collin needs you more than I do right now."

He nods. "Way to guilt me, Cee." He runs a hand over his jaw. "Fuck, I feel like my band is breaking up."

"It's just life. People come and go. But I don't want to lose you, totally. Not you, Ryan. Promise me that you'll eventually reach out to me."

"I will. I was going to stand by and watch you marry another man. I promise we're good." He runs his hands along the steering wheel before bringing his dejected gaze back to mine. "I had to try, didn't I? Isn't that why you're here?"

I nod. A piece of my heart breaking. This is the damage I've caused by just showing up to Triple Falls. By setting Collin free. Another casualty to add in the wake of my reckless heart. "I love you," he says with surety. "No matter what."

"Love you too."

Defeated, he thumps his head back on the rest and turns to me. "Now get out of my car, you reek of weed and teenage angst."

Smiling tearfully, I step out and stare up at the house. Feeling my hesitation, Ryan speaks up from where he sits behind me.

"He loves you, you know." I turn back to where he sits. "Not that I'm encouraging this shit because let me make myself clear, I hate him. He's a pompous, French asshole. But no man can rage that much over a woman who means nothing to them. He's fighting it."

"Thanks for that."

"I would wish you luck, but the asshole is toast."

If only that were true. Then it might make all my sacrifices worth it.

"Call me when you land?"

"I'll text you." He drops his gaze as I step away from the car.

Ryan's been in my life for years, and I can't imagine not seeing him on the regular. I've dismantled my life, my company. People I love and work for because of a fucking bad dream, because of a past I can't outlive. And my resentment only grows.

The gravity of it strikes me as I close the passenger door and he drives off, granting me the freedom, per my request, to face this alone .

Your move, Mr. King.