Chapter Sixteen
Cha pter Sixteen
M y father joins me in the conference room where I've been waiting for nearly an hour before he takes the seat next to me. I sip my water, feeling his eyes on me as I stare down at the stack of papers on the table, still unable to grasp the enormity of what he's giving me fully. "How are you, Cecelia?"
"Fine, Sir," I reply, straightening my posture in my seat.
"How is the plant? Better with the improvements?"
"It's good, Sir."
"Did the lawyer brief you on what you'll be signing for today? Do you understand—"
"Yes, Sir." I fight the urge to thank him, but I never asked for it. When I finally lift my eyes to his, I see he's regarding me carefully.
The last time I saw him, I'd snubbed him, too pre-occupied with the men in my life, and too resentful to take him up on whatever he was offering that day. The conversation with my mother had me thinking all night of ways to try and approach this, but I decide to go with brutal honesty.
It's now or never.
"Please help me understand this."
"Understand what?"
"You," I reply simply. "Why do this?"
He drops his gaze to the paperwork. "I told you why."
"So, this is a payoff? Because you didn't want to raise me?"
His flinch is barely visible, but I don't miss it. "This ensures you'll be financially secure for the rest of your life and, if managed properly, beyond the lives of your children."
"Why care about them if you don't care about your own child?"
His eyes soften, but there's a hard edge to his voice when he speaks. "I've explained this to you."
"No, you haven't. You said your parents were WASPs and drunks and squandered their fortune and that you weren't raised in a loving environment. But I'm not asking for a hug, Roman. I want to know why."
He bristles but gives me nothing else, and I have half a mind to stand and leave him with his filthy fucking fortune, but it's my mother's terrifying blank stare that keeps me sitting here, ready to collect. She's in a good place now, but what if she goes back to where she was? Though it would be the ultimate fuck you to deny his fortune and walk away, I can't. I can't do it.
"I'm sorry I failed you, Cecelia."
"That's twice now you've admitted you've failed me, and once you admitted you tried to love my mother, love me. But those are apologies and excuses without real explanations. ‘I'm sorry I failed you' is not an explanation, and I've heard that quite a bit recently."
"Maybe it's the company you keep."
Insinuation clear in his tone, I look over to him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Are you still parading around town with misfits in old muscle cars?"
"You'll be happy to know that I've upgraded. This one drives a sedan, but he , too, is temporary. The men in my life don't have a tendency to stick around long," I snark. "I'm sure you know how that is. I've heard emotional attachments are bad for business."
"They usually are, yes."
It's there, staring at my father in a boardroom fit for twenty that I have a moment of absolute clarity. I no longer have to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I see it clearly as I gaze on at him, my purpose, my future, and it starts in this room.
"Well then, let's just put this personal crap in its respective place for the moment, and get down to business, shall we?"
Roman doesn't hesitate as he stands and opens the door for his waiting staff.
Just short of an hour later, I'm a multi-millionaire.
The minute the door closes behind the team, Roman stands up with a ready excuse. "I have a meeting."
"I'm sure you do, but I'll just need a minute more of your time." I stand and face him, splaying my hands on the table. "I want you to be the first to know. I'll be taking care of my mother financially from here on out."
He doesn't so much as cringe with my confession, which is so far from what I expected.
"I have no issue with that. It's your money; do what you will with it."
It was my only punch to throw, and he's robbed me of it. It's all I can do to keep my mouth closed. "What in the hell do you mean you have no issue with that?"
"Exactly what I said, Cecelia. I wish your mother well. Will you still be attending UG?"
I grit my teeth. "That's my plan."
"I'll see to it that your expenses are covered. I'll have my assistant find you an apartment off-campus."
"You just gave me millions of dollars and a thirty percent stake in your company. I'm sure I can manage to pay for tuition on my own."
"It's my privilege as your father to see that your school is paid for."
"You haven't earned the privilege of calling yourself my father," I snap, unable to hold my anger back any longer.
"I see. I really should get—"
"Nice doing business with you, Sir," I dismiss him and turn to gather my purse.
Roman opens the door briefly and then closes it before taking strides over to me. He stops a foot away, commanding my attention. He assesses me with a cool expression that I'm sure intimidates the hell out of any opposition, but I refuse to back down. But it's in his eyes, my eyes, I see a hint of regret. I swallow the lump in my throat as a burn threatens behind my eyes.
"Your mother did an outstanding job of raising you. You're well-mannered for the most part. You have respect for authority. You're a highly intelligent and beautiful young woman. You will go far. I have no doubt you have a bright future ahead of you."
Eyes glistening, I do my best to control the shake in my voice. "No thanks to you."
"She made her choices, and I made mine."
"Choices. You mean abandoning your daughter? If that was a choice, you sure made it seem like an easy one."
Silence. The most infuriating silence I've ever endured.
"She deserved your mercy. She's suffered horribly."
His eyes gloss over briefly before he straightens his posture. "Say whatever it is you want to say. I'll allow it, Cecelia. If it will make you feel better."
"Maybe it's you who wants to feel better, but I refuse to let you off easy any longer."
"Good. I hope you hold the men in your life to a higher standard."
" Any man would be better than the coward you are."
This time his flinch is visible, and I'm pissed I find no satisfaction in it. "Anything else?"
"You should know I only did this for her. To care for her long-term because she's the deserving parent."
"I see." He squeezes his fists briefly at his sides, and I go all-in.
"Last year, when you came home, that day—"
"I had no right to impose—"
"Demand the right," I rasp. "Fight for me . For once in my goddamn life, fight for me. Fight for your place with me."
"Cecelia, I made choices, hard choices, and I've only had your best interests in mind when I made them."
"What does that even mean? It's not supposed to be a choice. Daddies are supposed to love their little girls. They're supposed to be their world, their life, and I seem to be worth more on paper to you than I am standing right in front of you. Help me understand."
"This money wasn't meant to be an insult—"
"Why? Just tell me what I did? Was it her? Do you hate her so much you refused to get involved with me because I remind you of her? Tell me why you can't be the father I deserve. Tell me why you can't love me. Tell me why she so clearly still loves you!"
He repeatedly swallows as I come unhinged.
"This is it, Roman. This is it. I saw something that day you came to me. I'm giving you that moment back, right here, right now. This is it. Do you hear me? Fight for me," I cough on a sob. "I want a father, not a fortune."
He stands completely motionless. His eyes cast down as all my foolish hopes leave me. Nothing. Not a word, not a single thing I asked for, just a portion of his fortune and his damning silence. Inside I hollow out as I declare war on my emotions while desperately trying to scrape together what's left of my dignity.
"Okay," I swallow, wiping my eyes. "Okay. But you should know you ruined her."
His eyes glaze over again, and I can feel the shift in him despite his cool demeanor. "You broke her heart, and you should know you were the first man to break mine, too. But at least with her, it was a clean break"—I shake my head—"but you've been breaking mine for twenty long years. I sometimes think it was a curse to inherit her heart, but I'm thinking now it's much better I didn't get yours."
"I want nothing but—"
I slap my hand on the table. "The best for me? Well, I guess I appreciate that." I shake my head, disgusted. "Business concluded, Roman." I thrust my hand in his direction. "Shake my hand."
"What?" He stares at my outstretched hand and visibly pales.
"This was a business deal, was it not? I'm not seasoned yet, but I'm pretty sure that's the way you conclude a business deal. A handshake to seal the deal. I accept your terms. I-I accept your payoff, Mr. Horner. Consider it money well spent."
"This was not meant—"
"Yes, it was. Shake my hand."
Shoulders sagging, he places his hand in mine, and it's all I can do to keep my knees from buckling. My motives with this act purely selfish, because it's the first and last time I'll ever hold my father's hand. "Now look me in the eyes," I rasp out, "and say goodbye."
When he lifts his eyes to mine, I feel no satisfaction. "Say goodbye, Roman."
"Cecelia, this is ridiculous."
I rip my hand away.
"You deserve every damn bit of Karma that comes your way. And there's a beauty to Karma; you never know when it will come back to bite you in the ass."
"I'll take that into consideration." He clears his throat, his voice hoarse when he speaks. "Have you said your piece?"
Tears I can no longer hold glide down my cheeks, and I nod. "Yes, Sir. That will be all. Do you feel better?"
"I understand you're upset but—"
"Goodbye, Roman."
It's me who walks toward the door this time with a folder full of payoff in hand. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks up behind me. "Please keep me updated on your progress at school." I glance back and see remorse shining in his eyes a second before he rips them away.
"Go to hell."