45. Jeremy

“So then, I’m standing there, realizing that agreeing to swim in a lake in Minnesota in the middle of winter is not the best way to, uh, show off my assets,” Ryan was saying, earning a laugh from the entire group.

“Were your toes cold?” Emmy asked slyly, and Jeremy turned to explain the inside joke to Davis, to find that he wasn’t there.

He left. An immediate thought, a fear that shot straight through Jeremy’s bloodstream. He shouldn’t have brought him to a bar, he should have told his stupid friends to shut up, he—

He was walking back, chuckling softly with Dec while Flo rolled her eyes behind the bar. A flash of jealousy replaced the fear in Jeremy’s stomach.

It was stupid, Jeremy knew. Even though Dec was open about his sexuality, he was happily partnered with Phoebe. And even if they played around outside their committed relationship, Jeremy knew that it was all consensual, and he wouldn’t just hit on Davis right in front of him.

But there was still some odd, untouched, feral part of Jeremy that made him want to run over and suck on Davis’s tongue to make a claim.

“Hey, you,” Davis said in a quiet voice, coming up next to Jeremy. Sotto vocce, his mom would have said, reading the music to Jeremy as a little boy, her hands so large over his little boy palms on the keys.

“Hey, baby,” Jeremy replied just as quietly. “You good? We can leave if you want.”

“No, no, no,” Davis said, smiling. “Dec and Flo want me to stay.”

I want you to stay. “Cool” is what Jeremy said instead.

“Jeremy said you have a dog?” Ryan asked Davis. Oddly, Jeremy was relieved that Ryan remembered this detail. Ryan, who had just finished a story that involved more detail about his testicles than Jeremy ever wanted to know.

“Yeah.” Davis grinned. “She’s the best girl.”

“Do you have a picture?” Phoebe asked.

“Only a thousand,” Davis replied, and Jeremy loved the way that he was bashful. A safe kind of embarrassment.

“Emmy had to buy extra storage on her phone when we got Mary Anning,” Ryan said, poking Emmy in the side.

“She’s a very photogenic dog,” Emmy replied.

“Davis, show her the one where Mary Anne was in the field with all the flowers.” Jeremy had saved that photograph as the background on his computer. He didn’t realize that dogs could smile like Mary Anne did, her mouth as wide as a whale’s, her tan fur a beautiful contrast against the green meadow, dotted with small purple wildflowers.

“Here,” Davis said, swiping and showing the picture to the group.

“She’s perfect,” Phoebe said, reaching across the table and grabbing Davis’s forearm. “What’s her name?” Davis was pulled to the other side of the table by Phoebe, who demanded more photographs and videos.

“Mary Anne,” Jeremy said. “Like Gilligan’s Island.”

“Name twins!” Ryan said. “Mary Anning—” He took Emmy’s phone and held it up, showing a photograph of a black and white border collie perched on Emmy’s lap. “Mary Anning is named after a paleontologist.”

“She’s also better behaved than Ryan,” Emmy added wryly.

“Is that so much to brag about?” Dec said, grinning.

Foster drifted around the table, tossing out comments about how his leopard gecko was also very cute, and was suddenly next to Jeremy.

“How’s dog dad life?” Foster asked.

“She’s Davis’s dog,” Jeremy replied.

Foster huffed out a skeptical laugh. “Sure, sure. You’ve never bought Ryan and Emmy a shirt for their dog.” He leaned closer to Jeremy and dropped his voice. “You like him, don’t you?”

Jeremy nodded.

“You more than like him, huh?”

Jeremy nodded again.

“He’s good for you,” Foster said. “You kind of, I dunno, light up around him.”

“I hope I’m good for him,” Jeremy whispered back, taking a sip of seltzer and meeting Davis’s eyes across the table. “I hope I’m enough.”