12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

INIKA

" H ey," Maia said, poking her head around my office door without knocking. "Do you need me today?"

I minimised the team chat I'd been idly scrolling through.

"No?" I mused. "I'm just answering some emails, then I'm taking a Pilates break."

Maia nodded slowly. "Do you actually need an assistant?"

"Probably not," I admitted. "Not these days. But you get paid for it and a free place to live, so you're welcome to keep the role in name only if you like."

Maia narrowed her eyes at me. "What's the catch?"

"Occasionally making phone calls for me. You know how I despise those."

Maia smirked. "Of course. How do you have such a cool, calm reputation in the media? If only they knew you were deathly afraid of the phone."

"That would ruin the mystery. Are you going into the office?"

"I think I will. Do you want to come? They have hot desks, you know."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why would I want to do that?"

Maia laughed. "Social interaction. Isn't that something omegas crave?"

"Not this omega, I assure you."

"Have you been avoiding us?" Stasia asked while Ivy bounced on the balls of her feet next to her in the foyer of the Pilates studio.

Brigitte, the only one who'd been in class with me, shot me a guilty look. "I may have mentioned where we were going to be this morning."

"We've got a table at Bite," Ivy said excitedly, mentioning the eatery around the corner. "So we can go and discuss Saturday night. We wanted to do it sooner, but you've been so hard to get hold of."

"I'm not really dressed for Bite," I replied, scrambling for an excuse not to go.

"Nonsense, I love this set—you look cute. Plenty of people go straight to Bite after a workout. Come on! We've got a surprise for you," Stasia added in a conspiratorial tone.

Great. I wondered what they'd told poor Hugo to rope him into this.

But no, it was far worse than that.

Instead of encountering a sheepish-but-amused Hugo, I found my parents sitting at the table at Bite, sipping their chai and watching me expectantly.

Well, Papa was watching me expectantly.

Mama looked on the verge of fainting, appalled that I'd come to brunch in my forest-green leggings and matching crop top.

"Sit, sit, sit," Stasia said, gesturing for me to take the seat opposite my parents. "Have you had the chia bowl here? It's to die for."

"Sounds great," I murmured, not having the mental capacity to even think about reading the menu.

The claustrophobic feeling I'd been trying to shrug off on Saturday night was amplified by a thousand now, with everyone looking at me, the weight of expectation bearing down heavily on me.

It had been surprisingly easy to reconcile the fact that the future I'd been prepared for wasn't in the cards for me—I was hardly the first of the rich kids set to be dissatisfied with my life of immense privilege. I was just doing it a little later, rather than dropping out of uni and moving to Thailand to find myself after a week-long bender like many of my peers had.

Unfortunately, disappointing the people that I cared about was probably a more challenging ask now that my prefrontal lobe had finished developing and I understood consequences. In hindsight, I should have got all my screwing up out of my system when I was twenty and set the bar lower.

Papa ordered for me while Brigitte valiantly made small talk, her omega urge to soothe out in full force since she was paying the closest attention to me.

What was Blake doing right now?

He was up on the scaffold probably, hard at work. I'd mentioned that I wouldn't mind if he used a speaker to listen to music, noticing that he didn't wear headphones and wondering if he found them uncomfortable, but he'd declined. It was another thing that made him oddly attractive to me. I needed external stimuli to distract me from the relentless stream of noise in my head. Blake was content to just be .

"You can't put it off any longer," Ivy laughed, giving my hand on the table a light squeeze. "We want to hear all about Saturday!"

"You were there," I pointed out mildly.

"We weren't," Papa countered. "But your friends have told me all about this Hugo fellow. Inika, he sounds very good. A nice young man."

Mama nodded, absently rolling Om-Guard on her wrists and staring at my workout top like she could transform it into a modest silk blouse if she just glared at it hard enough.

"He is a nice young man," I agreed, suspecting that Hugo was staring down the barrel of forty, but that would be considered young in Papa's eyes. "We got along very well. We could be great friends I think."

It was almost impressive, the way disappointment fell around the table like a veil descending. My ability to ruin the mood might have been my superpower.

"Friend?" Ivy repeated with a nervous giggle. "I mean, all the best matings are rooted in friendship…"

"You know that's not what she meant," Brigitte mumbled, stirring her tea a little more aggressively than necessary.

"Did any of you actually speak to Hugo?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I surveyed the table. "I assure you, we're quite on the same page about this."

"But you got along so well ," Stasia all but wailed. "The two of you were laughing all night!"

"Well, yes." I frowned. "That's because I'm funny."

Not that Hugo was un funny, but I'd been the one really bringing the jokes.

"Inika," Ivy all but pleaded. "Please don't rule him out. You haven't even given him a chance! Your father mentioned what the Om-Guard Board said…"

I gave Papa an accusing look, and he had the grace to look at least a little embarrassed.

"Hugo would be perfect ," Stasia added, a dreamy look on her face. "You've only got a couple of weeks haven't you?"

"Stasia," Brigitte scolded. It was poor form to bring up my impending heat in general, let alone in a public cafe.

"I know, I know, but this is an emergency," Stasia sighed. "We need to have a frank conversation here, B. Before Inika makes the worst mistake of her life."

Was this an intervention? Perhaps it hadn't started out that way, but that was the direction it had gone in.

"Inika is thirty-four, and more than capable of making her own decisions," I reminded them gently, rolling my neck and trying to repress the omega urge to roll over and submit. To make the tension go away by any means necessary.

If there was ever a time to fight against that instinct, it was now.

"We know, darling," Papa said gently, his eyes sad. "But you have been ignoring your responsibilities for so long. And perhaps that is my fault, for not being firmer with you. But I'm afraid I might have to be now."

Mama clasped his hand, dabbing her eyes with the other.

I was a reasonable person. I was. I didn't like making a fuss. Calm and collected was my default state of being.

But there was a strange, hot, itchy feeling crawling up my spine that might have been rage.

"Invite this Hugo home for dinner to meet us. Court him properly, Inie. If you truly feel in your heart that he would be a cruel mate to you, then of course, you should not invite him to your nest. But if he is a nice alpha, if he is kind, and behaves as a man in his position ought to, then I cannot abide by you not doing everything within your power to secure such a match."

"We're just all ignoring the part where he's not interested, are we?" I asked drily. Or at least that was the tone I was aiming for, though I suspected some of the bitterness I was feeling leaked through.

Apparently we were all ignoring that, since no one acknowledged I'd spoken.

"Inika, if you want to maintain the lifestyle you have—" Papa began as my friends gasped at the threat of me being disinherited. And to give my parents a small amount of credit, I supposed, they looked pained by the words Papa was saying.

But he was still threatening me, so I wasn't feeling overly charitable about it.

"Noted," I cut in, pushing out of my seat. "If you'll excuse me, I have places I need to be."

The weight of alpha disapproval and omega distress felt like an anchor, physically dragging me down with each step forwards I took, but I pushed on regardless. This was a conversation that had been a long time coming, and I'd needed to have it, no matter how painful it felt to let everyone down.

Whatever choices I made from here on out, whatever happened, the decisions were going to be mine. The mistakes were going to be mine.

And hopefully, I'd find some joy in there too.

I didn't wait for Lúcás to collect me, hailing a cab instead to make the short trip home. It was only once I was home and helping myself to a glass of water in the kitchen that I finally pulled my phone out of my purse, unable to resist reading the messages that would undoubtedly hurt my feelings.

Before I could, an incoming call flashed on the screen.

"Ms Dara? It's Annelise here from Prendre."

"Hi, Annelise. How are you?" I asked, balancing the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I poured more water. A definite sign that my heat was approaching—I was always so thirsty in the lead-up.

" Fine, thank you. I was just calling as we really need to set up some interviews for you for your next session with us. " Session was such a polite way of saying week-long fuck fest. " Would you like us to come to you as we did last year? "

"That would be best, please." The last thing I needed was for someone to see me walking into the Prendre building. It was far more discrete to have them visit me here for interviews.

" Excellent, I'll send through some times as options. Was there anyone in particular you were hoping for? "

"No, no one in particular." I'd never had the same alpha for my heats twice, even if they were available. Using a temporary alpha was already a dangerous game to play when it came to my heart—there was no time more vulnerable for an omega than their heat. I took as many precautions as possible.

There was a strange, uncomfortable feeling in my gut, that I wanted to ignore but I knew wouldn't go away. It was a Blake-flavoured feeling. He was the alpha I wanted—the only alpha I wanted.

" I'll put together a short list then, based on what you've said you liked in previous years. And, of course, if you'd like us to simply facilitate with an alpha of your choosing outside of Prendre, that's a service we offer as well."

An alpha…

"Right," I stuttered, having forgotten all about that. I'd never even contemplated that service offering in the past.

"I'll be in touch with some names and times to meet. Have a lovely day, Ms Dara ."

I hung up, slightly on autopilot as I made my way out of the kitchen.

An alpha of your choosing.

Okay, Blake didn't want a mate, but maybe he wouldn't be opposed to spending my heat with me? If it was any other alpha, I'd worry that they'd want to save that experience for their future mate, but if Blake didn't plan on taking one… Well, this might be his only opportunity. And while heats were kind of a liability, there was fun to be had too.

I could ask the question. It couldn't hurt to ask. And now seemed like an opportune moment—there was no one else around, and we were both clear-headed and not distracted by impending sex. Then again, I'd be interrupting Blake when he was working, which was probably poor form on my part.

I dithered in the hallway once I'd finished dragging myself up the stairs, trying to decide what to do.

Was this a decision rooted in logic? Or was I emotional and reactive after this morning?

Maybe I should leave. Go and shower off the pilates sweat and stress pheromones at the very least. I could talk to him later.

"What are you doing, Inika?" Blake called from around the corner.

Well, that solved that dilemma.

"I was coming to talk to you," I replied, hobbling around the corner as my calves chose that moment to start throbbing, but trying to make it look smooth.

The sight of the progress Blake had made this morning had me halting in my tracks, my woes briefly forgotten.

Where the low false ceiling had been was now a smooth, arched plaster masterpiece. This one small section of the house looked like it had been taken from a museum and seamlessly integrated into the house. Or perhaps it was the opposite, since the curved arch ceiling had been part of the original design.

It looked like Blake had peeled away a facade, highlighting the beauty underneath.

"It looks amazing in here," I said, staring up at the progress. "So much better than I could have even visualised from the plans."

Blake nodded silently, eyeing one spot in a particularly critical way. "It's certainly an improvement over what was here."

"It's more than just an improvement. You're really talented, Blake."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What's with all the compliments?"

"They're genuine compliments!" I nudged his biceps with my shoulder. "You're just bad at taking them."

His beard twitched in a half smile. "That's probably true. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked. "Or were you coming to inspect my craftsmanship again?"

I blushed at the reminder of how we'd got into this whole arrangement in the first place. "I've been very slack on the work inspection front, but no, I did have something I wanted to discuss." I smoothed the waistband of my leggings, feeling oddly nervous. Was this a good idea? I'd always wonder if I didn't ask. "You recall that I mentioned my heat was approaching?"

Blake gave me a sidelong look. "I remember."

His voice seemed to have dropped an octave, and I did my best to tamp down my reaction at the reminder of how enthusiastically he'd responded to the mention of my heat the last time we discussed it.

"Right." I exhaled heavily. "I'm just going to come out and say it—"

"I can't take a mate," Blake blurted out, his face flushing. "If that's what you're going to ask. I wouldn't… I wouldn't treat her right. I wouldn't be able to make her a priority."

Maybe I wasn't ready to go out into the world and make my own mistakes. Maybe I should crawl back to my parents and let them make the mistakes for me.

No . No. I could do this. While I understood why his mind had gone there first, I was still slightly startled by the assumption. If I ever asked an alpha to accompany me to my nest for the purpose of becoming my mate, I'd do it in a slightly more romantic setting than this.

"I… know. No, I know. Well, I don't necessarily think that's true, but never mind. That wasn't what I was going to ask you."

"Right." Blake cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing. "Sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

"No, no, don't apologise. I know it's standard practice for omegas to spend their heats alone if they're unmated, but I usually… don't."

Blake frowned. "What does that mean?"

I hadn't thought this through. Actually explaining the concept of Prendre to Blake was a mortifying proposition. "There are, well, services available. Alphas who make themselves available to help omegas during their heats."

I'd never seen Blake's eyes go so wide. He generally wasn't so expressive.

"The service includes a support crew to keep the alpha safe. The alpha and the omega both wear muzzles for the duration. There's a nurse on hand too to administer the postcoital contraception shot directly after the heat to ensure there's no pregnancy. That kind of thing."

"It sounds…" He trailed off, looking slightly lost for words. "I've never heard of anything like that."

I cleared my throat. "It's prohibitively expensive for the vast majority of people. And many would find it… wrong, I guess. For some people, heats are meant to be these sacred moments between mates."

"Not you?"

Oddly, no one had ever asked me that quite so directly before. My parents knew I used an agency, and they hated it but also hated the idea of me suffering which seemed to cancel it out. Most of my friends kept their disapproval to themselves, especially since it was such a taboo subject to begin with. And the only other people who knew about it were my staff, who weren't going to be honest with me anyway.

"Maybe it's just because I'm a pampered little omega heiress, but I don't see any virtue in suffering when I don't have to." I shrugged. If that made me spoiled or high maintenance or out of touch, then I guessed that I just was all of those things. "Going through heat alone is awful, but committing to a life with someone just to have a partner for it is an even worse prospect. I'm able to afford this service, so I make the most of it."

Blake nodded slowly, his brow furrowed. "I guess that makes sense. And you wanted to discuss that with… me?"

The intention of my ill-thought-out plan had been to frame the idea as something that could be fun for both of us. But seeing the confused and not at all horny look on his face had me wondering if the offer would come across as kind of insulting. The sex we were having right now was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Servicing me through my heat was just that—a service. Just because the alphas enjoyed themselves didn't mean it wasn't hard work.

And I didn't want him to think I thought of him as just good for sex, even if a relationship between us was never possible. I liked Blake's company. I respected him.

He meant something to me, despite my best intentions.

I took a step back, soothing omega smile in place. "You know, never mind. I don't think I've gone about this the right way—"

"Ask the question, princess," Blake commanded softly, using the voice he used in bed which was so patently unfair. I was helpless against that.

"If you wanted to be that alpha in the room, in the nest … It can be arranged. That's all. They can give you a briefing and put the various safety measures in place to make sure you can't bite me, and they provide a support crew for your comfort. Okay, well that's all I wanted to say. I'm going to go crawl into a hole and die now."

"No, you're not." Blake reached for me before I could turn away, pulling me in close. He was covered in plaster dust, and it immediately coated my clothes, but I didn't care.

I was getting a hug . Blake and I didn't hug. I mean, maybe post-sex, but we were literally stuck together then, so it'd be awkward if he put his hands anywhere except around me.

"Thank you, Inika. I'm glad you thought of me, and I'm glad you were brave enough to ask. But I can't take five days away from my family, as much as I would very much like to."

I nodded against his chest. Inika, you idiot . Of course, he wasn't going to just abandon Freya for five days.

He sighed. "This is the only time I've been tempted to take some time away from them, though. You're hard to say no to."

"I probably shouldn't have asked."

"I'm glad you did."

We stayed there for a long moment, and it felt so different from our usual interactions that I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

Blake sighed heavily, his breath ruffling my hair. "I really misjudged you when we first met."

I smiled against his chest. "I'm not upset about it. I imagine you've met a lot of clients like me in your time."

"I've never met anyone like you, Inika."

I didn't quite know what to make of that, and even though I'd applied more Om-Guard on the cab ride home to mask the stress smell, I was worried that my scent would give away my reaction. Blake's hands lingered on my hips as I stepped back, his eyes looking critically over my outfit as if he hadn't just said something that had the power to decimate my heart. "I've got you all dirty. Not in the fun way this time."

"Hugs are fun." I was impressed at how light I managed to keep my tone. "And I need a shower anyway. I just went to Pilates."

"Did you now?" Blake asked, his gaze lingering on my leggings like he'd just noticed I was wearing them. Back to flirty. Back to horny. This was much safer ground for us. I knew how this went.

"Mmhm. My poor calf muscles are aching. And my glutes…" I sighed dramatically, switching my body language from reserved to fuck-me in an instant. "I think I need a massage."

"I'll keep that in mind for later," Blake said with an easy wink, releasing me and picking up his tools again. "Until then, princess."

Well, I'd wanted to own my own mistakes, and I'd successfully made the first one.