Chapter 39

Kate

On the ride home, I make sure to complete all the necessary steps to cover my tracks.

I feel dirty yet I feel so alive.

My heart hurts a little only because Corbin made me leave. Not because I’m fucking someone other than my fiancé. Not because I can’t stand this upper middle-class existence or that I dread hearing from my best friend.

I just want to be locked up by Corbin.

His pet, prisoner, whatever he wants me to be.

That’s where I feel the most at home. That’s where I feel the most alive.

And nobody else understands it. It’s like screaming into a dark room, all alone.

When I tell Chad to smack my ass, he laughs and then waits until the next day and playfully swats at my butt while I’m wearing pants. It’s like he mocks me. Does that make him a bad guy? No. I’ll never paint him as that.

It’s just all… misguided and messy.

I thought I had everything contained. Right up until the day Corbin appeared.

I’m dropped off at home with only my car in the driveway.

I’ve been gone and returned and nothing has happened. Nobody has noticed.

That saddens me.

This is my life…

I stand outside the house and look at it.

I picture the day Chad pretended to be lost looking for a place to take me out on a date. And how he nervously pulled into the driveway. He was going to ask the owner for directions.

What?! Nobody asks for directions! We have phones!

Chad got out of the car and made me get out alongside him.

After knocking on the door and waiting a few minutes he backed up and then said, ‘Nice house, isn’t it? Can you see yourself living in a house like this?’ .

When I said yes I didn’t realize it was me saying yes to living here.

In Chad’s sweet mind it was the biggest surprise he could offer. A super, amazing romantic gesture. And, fuck, there are so many women out there who deserve that from a guy like Chad.

I hate that it was me he did it to. I hate that I was put on the spot. I hate that I had to jump for joy and jump into his arms.

And even then…

We kissed.

I told him to take me inside right now and we need to christen the house.

He didn’t.

His response?

There’s no furniture to fuck on.

I could think of a million places to fuck in an empty house.

I sigh and open the front door and walk inside.

I shut the door, lock it, and go upstairs right to the bathroom to take a shower.

Yes, Corbin had properly washed me the night before but I now needed to wash him and his bed from me.

Not to mention the dried cum stuck to my pussy and my inner thighs.

I strip myself of my black dress, ball it up and stuff it into the laundry.

It felt better when Corbin took the dress off for me.

My bra is next and I have no panties on.

I step into the shower and look around.

My shower here at home is huge. Probably big enough for four of five people to comfortably stand in. We don’t have one shower head either. There’s an entire system of shower heads and sprayers and all kinds of stuff. The floor is smooth and perfectly clean with a center drain. The walls are beautifully tiled, but it feels so fake. I feel like I’m in a catalog or some home improvement television show.

I reach for my soap and lather myself up with the soft, sweet smell of honey and lavender. A far cry from the rough hands of the criminal mechanic who had his monster cock up my ass.

I swallow hard and curl my toes against the floor.

My right hand begins to move down my body and around. Fingertips flirting with my right ass cheek, but that’s not enough for me. I keep going. Reaching back some more. Touching… there .

I press with my middle finger and softly groan.

My fingertip breaks my forbidden threshold and then I quickly stop.

I shiver.

No. That’s for Corbin.

My ass belongs to Corbin.

I whimper and bite my lip.

My pussy is warm and wet again. My nipples are pebbled.

I ache and long for Corbin as though it’s been years since we’ve been together.

I step into the water, shutting my eyes, picturing myself drying off, packing up a bag, and then fleeing this upper middle-class picturesque shit show and just show up to be with Corbin. Whatever he wants. However he wants it.

If he needs to lock me in his closet or that dog crate while he deals drugs, fine.

I’ll live like that. For him. For us.

Kate… what are you fucking thinking…

When I step back out of the shower, I realize I’m crying.

I’m crying for the life I never had with Corbin. For the life I’ll never have.

I’m crying for the life I’ve allowed here, with Chad, offering a promise that felt so right in the moment just to keep things moving forward.

That was the plan. The purpose.

That’s how it was supposed to be.

I turn the water off and step out of the shower to a special rug that instantly absorbs water. I reach for a large towel that is soft and practically licks the water off your body.

I then walk to the bedroom and look at the perfectly made bed and see the perfect vacuum lines in the carpet.

I pick out a bra and panties that don’t match. Stretchy jeans that wear like pajama pants. A green T-shirt and a gray hoodie over that.

Peak comfort for me right now.

Chad’s going to be home any minute.

Part of me wonders if I’m supposed to be a good fiancée and get on my knees at the door and suck his cock.

Then again, knowing Chad if I did that, he’d stop me.

I’m pretty sure no matter what, I’m going to have to let him fuck me tonight.

It’s been long enough.

I don’t know how to feel about that.

I hurry down the stairs, ready to pour myself a glass of wine and prepare to become the good fiancée once more.

When I turn from the bottom of the stairs, I hear voices from the kitchen.

“Hello?” I call out.

“In here, Kate,” a voice says.

It’s Chad’s voice.

He’s home.

I take a quick breath and walk to the kitchen, putting a big smile on my face.

Chad is sitting on the counter.

I see something from the corner of my eye and turn my head to see Mary Beth leaning against the fridge.

What…

“Hey,” Mary Beth says.

Chad clears his throat. He takes a deep breath.

“Kate, we need to have a serious talk.”

How sad is it that my first thought is I hope Chad and Mary Beth have been fucking? I picture it right away. Them confessing an affair and then apologizing to me. I’ll have to cry my eyes out and hate them… yet I’ll just be excited the entire time knowing I’m free.

“Serious talk,” I say. “Ut-oh.”

I look at Mary Beth. “It’s not a secret or surprise that I’m here. Or that I showed up when I did.”

“I called her,” Chad says. “I told her to come out here and… help.”

“Help?” I ask.

“With you, Kate,” Chad says. “You’re…”

Chad lowers his head.

“Kate, we’re scared to death right now about you,” Mary Beth says. “Something is wrong. You’re not here. There’s…”

“There are marks on your body,” Chad says. He slides off the counter and looks ready to cry. “Your wrists, Kate. And your… your chest… your breast …”

Chad blushes at the word breast .

“You’re hurting yourself, Kate,” Mary Beth says. “When Chad told me something was wrong, I didn’t know what to really think. But then I showed up and you’re just… way off. And we’re not jumping on you or anything, okay? We love you. We care about you. We want you to know it’s okay and that we’re here for you.”

“Seems like you might have been drinking a lot too,” Chad says. “Your phone isn’t always turned on either. And showing up in a dress, basically stumbling toward the door.”

Now my face burns red hot.

I open my mouth but I don’t know what to say.

“Kate, please don’t get mad at us,” Mary Beth says. “Don’t get defensive either. This is…”

Mary Beth’s chin quivers.

I glance at Chad.

“Are you hurting yourself, Kate?”

I shake my head. “I… I…”

Chad stares, waiting for an answer.

“What about your job, Kate? I know things are slipping there. I was over there three times in the last two days and you weren’t. Imagine the orders being missed right now. Or ones you should have completed. The job matters to you.”

“Kate, do you want your own bakery?” Chad asks. “We can make that happen. We can talk about it. We can go over it. I can call up Harry…”

Chad grins.

Harry is the financial guy who tells Chad what to do with his money.

I shake my head once more. “I…”

“Kate, I’ll just say it,” Mary Beth says. “We’re thinking about putting you somewhere for a while. Some kind of treatment center.”

“No,” I blurt out.

“Okay, hold on,” Chad says, putting his hands out. “That’s an option, yes. I wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured. Or scared. Or threatened. So what about a really long weekend somewhere? Get out of this house and this town. A nice hotel. You’ll be by yourself. You can actually relax.” Chad steps toward me. “Kate, I’m terrified right now. I’m not even sure putting you in a hotel is smart.”

“It’s not,” Mary Beth says. “She needs actual help.”

“I need the hotel!” I blurt out. I shut my eyes. “I need… to be away from here. From everything.” I open my eyes. “I need to be away from my life.”

My chin quivers.

I stare at Chad.

That’s probably the most honest thing I’ve said to him in months.