30. “I’m Still Standing”

30

"I'M STILL STANDING"

ELTON JOHN

A fter a slightly less pickled afternoon float in the pool, Kari and I sat at the kitchen counter wrapped in our towels. I knew shit was about to get real when she put her hands on the edge of the counter and spun slowly my way. "It's time to do the pro and con list. I don't know if I can do quite as thorough a job as Mama Turner would, but we're going to do our best."

"Okay, I'm ready. A little scared but ready." I ran up to my office to grab the notebook with the list I'd already begun. By the time I got back downstairs, Kari already had the tray of sliced cheese out of the fridge. "You can't do a pros and cons list without cheese."

"Well, no, of course not. My brain doesn't do voluntary work until it's fed with havarti. Okay, I've got a few items on here already." I laid the notebook down with the page open to my list.

Kari read it over. "This is a great start. I think we should add the first thing that comes to mind for the Pro column."

Kari bent toward the notebook and wrote. "How about ‘ meeting more people in the writing community'? That seems like a big one."

"No kidding. Writing can be such a lonely business sometimes, and in the short time I've been working with Caleb, I've completely turned a corner. I can't even imagine if I were surrounded by writers all the time, and people like Caleb coming in and sharing what they've learned along the way."

"What's next?"

"I can think of a con. Having people I don't know in my house."

"I can see how that wouldn't be comfortable all the time, but I feel like you'll get used to that pretty quickly, and it would be easy enough for you to go up to your room and recharge during quiet times, right? But, for your sake, we'll put it down as a con for now. Now, let's see. What else? How about ‘giving back to the writing community'? While you're generating income and meeting other writers, you're also going to be providing a space for them to come together. This will foster a sense of community amongst themselves as well. These retreats are going to be the catalyst for new friendships, and you're probably going to see a lot of the same people coming back time and time again, probably with each other."

"I hadn't even considered that aspect of doing this. Let's definitely add ‘Giving back to the writing community' in the ‘pro' column."

"Now for some other cons. You are going to have to be thinking about more than just yourself in terms of food on those weekends, so it's a little added responsibility. There are also going to be some initial investments as you get started. You're going to have to pay for marketing, a website, maybe some ads, flyers. Nominal, but still investments."

"I thought of another ‘pro'. I won't be alone here all the time. Since I got here, I've met so many people, and the women from the book club pretty much come and go, and it's been nice having some more people around."

I noticed Kari turning a little green after that one and decided to move away from the topic of all the friends I'd made since I'd been there. "I will get more writing done. That's one of the biggest pros of all. Having that structured writing time will force me to sit down and put words on the page, or edit—whatever stage I'm in at that time. I'll also have people around to bounce ideas off of and brainstorm with for a whole weekend."

"Being surrounded by writers will give you inspiration. Yes, that's perfect. Okay, writing it down. Anything else?"

"That's all I can think of for now."

When we looked at the list, we could see that the pros far outweighed the cons, and were more valuable than the cons were negative.

Kari tapped her pen on the counter while she read over the list. "This looks like a win to me. Assuming this all doesn't become too much for you once the sessions get underway. But if you manage this the way you managed running your household with two children and a husband who was never home, this will be a slam dunk."

"It all sounds so great on paper, and when I talk to other people about it, they get excited, which makes me feel like it will work out. But there really is no way to know for sure until I get into it."

"I have a feeling once you get the word out that you're having writer's retreats here once a month, you're going to be booked up for a solid year. You wait and see. You might end up doing more than one retreat per month!"

"We'll have to see how the first few months go before I commit to any more." I laughed as I waved my hands in front of me. "This was all somebody else's idea that's bloomed below my feet, so it'll take a few months of real-life application before I know how big of an undertaking it will actually be. Again, it all looks great on paper, but paper makes a lousy business partner."

"You have plenty of people to help you—if you let them. Speaking of which, I did get the list down to a few instructors who would love to come in and teach yoga once a month. I was thinking of setting up something for one of them to stop by for a quick visit before I leave, if that's okay. I have one I really like, and it doesn't hurt to have backups."

"Okay, that's great news. When did you have in mind? I don't have a ton of work to get done today if that works."

"I can check with her and see if she can come by. That way, I know at least I have a chance to introduce you before I go home."

A giant, tear-filled lump formed in my throat. "Don't even talk about going home yet. I'm not ready."

"I know. I know. I don't want to leave either, but I need to check on the progress at the house, and well, I do live there. I'm going to miss you, of course…" She turned toward the nearby dining room window that faced the bay, but her glazed, three-thousand-mile stare told me she was looking more inward than out. "...but I'm also going to miss being this close to the water, and I'm really going to miss being here when I'm shoveling the driveway in a few short months. It's been so hard not having you two doors down, especially with Nick's schedule. He's been traveling so much for work it feels like I'm always there by myself. At this rate, I'll probably be back here sooner than you think."

"I'm sorry to hear you've been lonely, but you know you're welcome here anytime!"

"Be careful what you wish for. I might see if your Uncle Mike has any other houses lying around. I could just go home, pack up our whole house, and text Nick with our new address next door to you," Kari warned me with a staccato laugh.

Realizing we'd been sitting there for a while and I hadn't gotten any actual work done, I looked at the time on my phone. "Yikes! Why don't you go ahead and reach out to the yoga instructor and see if today works for her. I'm going to run upstairs and check my work email. Come up to my office after you hear from her. I'm not doing anything that requires a lot of concentration today."

"And what are you thinking about for lunch? Grilled cheese? Tomato soup?"

She knew me so well; I was a sucker for her grilled cheese. "Sounds perfect."

"Consider it done; I'll reach out to Estelle and text you with her response. I'll let you know when lunch is ready. Muah!" She blew me a kiss as she floated out of the room on her impossibly long legs.

Once upstairs at the desk in my bedroom, I got to work on the projects due in the next couple of days. Nothing difficult: an email, a blog post, a brochure, and some revisions on previous projects. An easy day, overall. I knew how lucky I was to do something I loved every day—from home—and get paid for it.

About forty-five minutes into working through my list, a quick buzz from my phone announced an incoming text.

Kari Kari Bo Berry: I heard from Estelle and she is free today around three. Would that work for you? Do you have any meetings?

No meetings today. Three o'clock works great.

Kari Kari Bo Berry: I was thinking of going for a walk on the beach. Do you mind if I take Roxy with me?

OMG she would love that! Please feel free. The keys to the Jeep are in my purse. She's allowed on the dog beach on Honeymoon Island. Just put it in the nav.

Kari Kari Bo Berry: Okay I'll see you in a little bit. I cleaned up a little of the mess from this morning and the dishes are drying on the counter. Your lunch is on the island.

Thanks Kari. I love that you always insist on hand-washing dishes when there's a perfectly good dishwasher right next to you.

Kari Kari Bo Berry: They just feel cleaner to me. I don't know why!

Oh, I almost forgot. Don't let Roxy chase any seagulls. She'll yank your arm right off.

Kari Kari Bo Berry: I will do my best. See you soon.

Not if I see you first.

Two forty-five found me in the kitchen loading the dishes from my lunch into the dishwasher. I was in no way in the hand-washing camp with Kari. Rinse, bend, place, repeat was the name of my dish game.

Kari was still not back. I was glad she was enjoying her walk, but I was a little worried about Roxy's behavior on the beach. I was having visions of Kari returning with one arm longer than the other.

The doorbell rang at three on the dot, just as I was wiping the counters down. I opened the door to find a stunning woman towering over me. Wisps of her straight brown hair had escaped her long ponytail and blew gently in the breeze off the bay. She had high cheekbones, a glowing olive complexion, and her expression could easily be described as tranquil. She looked like a goddess .

Behind her, parked in the driveway was a purple Jeep and I knew instantly this was going to be a good match. There's just something about Jeep people.

"Estelle, I'm assuming? I'm Paige. Come in."

Without waiting for confirmation, I opened the door wider, sweeping my arm to welcome her into the house.

"Yes, I'm Estelle. Kari warned me about how gorgeous your house is, but I wasn't prepared for this ." She gestured toward the yard, and the pool sparkled, seemingly in response to the compliment.

"Yeah, my uncle has put a lot of effort into this house, and I feel like I won the lottery every time I pull into the driveway."

She stepped nimbly through the doorway and turned to me with her hand outstretched. "It's great to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well," I said as I shook her hand. "Let's talk in the kitchen." I closed the door and led her through the foyer while she turned and took in as much as she could in those five steps. "I'll take you for a quick tour in a few minutes," I promised.

We briefly went over my rough plans for the retreat weekends, and I explained my theory that a bit of yoga in the morning might help them get their creative juices flowing.

Estelle glowed. "I love this idea. I really do. When your friend Kari approached me after class yesterday, it sounded so wonderful; I love to be in the midst of creativity. I have a bit of a right-brain mentality myself, so I appreciate what you're doing here, and I would be honored to be a part of it. Could I see the space you had in mind for us to practice?"

"Of course!"

Once in the sunroom, I detailed what I had envisioned. "I was thinking we could pull these shades down and put shelves in the back of the room with some yoga mats, blocks, and anything else you think we might need."

"Maybe a speaker would be good. This looks like a really great space. You have enough room here for about six people and me, which, from what Kari told me, is all we'll need. What about the people that aren't going to do yoga? Will you have an alternative for them?"

"I've been considering that possibility and I was hoping you had a way to work in some kind of mindfulness practice for the non-yoga people. If so, would they come in here? Would they be elsewhere in the house?"

"Let me give that some thought. I would love for them to be included, but not distracted by what we're do?—"

There was a commotion at the back door, cutting off the rest of Estelle's sentence. I heard the door fling open and hit the doorstop, then the scrabble of Roxy's claws on the wood floor.

"Oh God. We're back. We're back. This dog is going to be the death of me!"

"Oh no. Let's go see what happened," I said to Estelle, then wasted no time making my way to the foyer. We found a windblown disaster where my neat, fastidious friend had once stood. Her hair, which, to be fair, has never been described as orderly, was wrapped around her face and puffed up around her head like a woman who had just been discovered after a lifetime of living with wolves. Her shoes were soaked and coated in sand, which was now all over the floor. And Roxy was desperate to spread the sand she'd brought back far and wide throughout the house.

"Go ahead and let go of her leash, Kari."

As if she hadn't realized she was still holding it, Kari dropped the leash, and her hand remained in a claw in front of her. "Well, you weren't kidding about the seagulls! We were ten feet onto the beach when a seagull landed on the sand about twenty feet in front of us and Roxy took off and dragged me thirty feet through the sand while she chased this poor bird. Luckily, I had the leash wrapped around my wrist, or she'd be in Tampa by now !

She pulled up her long-sleeve UV shirt to show me the red marks around her wrist. "All those years of perfecting my balance were no match for an eighty-pound golden retriever on the hunt for a new friend."

"No, I can't say yoga would do a whole lot of good in that instance. I don't think Arnold Schwarzenegger could hold her back from a seagull. I'm going to have to get her some training."

Just then, Kari realized what time it was and noticed the visitor in the hallway with us. "Estelle! I'm so glad you made it. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to greet you when you arrived. As you can see, I had my hands full."

"No worries. We talked through everything, and Paige showed me the space."

"Wonderful, what do you think?"

Estelle turned to face me. "I'm in if you'll have me. I love what you've got planned here, and I want to be a part of it."

"I'd love to have you. I know this is going to be a bit of running behind the kite while trying to get it off the ground. You'll need to bear with me as the plans ebb and flow and change upon the hour. Especially as we get closer to opening weekend."

"Well, one thing you can say about me is that I'm pretty flexible."

Kari covered her face with one sand-covered hand. "Not another one with the puns."

"I can't help myself. Anyway, I'm going to let you both get back to your day." She looked around at the floor, then at Kari, who looked every bit as ragged as she probably felt. "And clean up. I have to run and teach a four o'clock class, but I'm so grateful for the opportunity and I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes. It's such a neat idea."

Kari stepped forward and started to reach out her hand, then thought better of it when she realized it was still covered in sand. "I'm headed home tomorrow, but it was so great to practice with you. I'm sure I'll be back again soon."

"I enjoyed meeting you as well. It's always nerve-wracking to lead a class with another yoga instructor, but you made me feel so at ease. Paige, it was lovely to meet you. Kari has my information, so reach out any time, and we can get the details worked out."

With that, Estelle swept out the door, carrying a swirling tuft of golden retriever hair in her wake.

Kari and I saw it at the same time and the hilarity we'd held in while Estelle was there bubbled up and over.

"Clean up in aisle one," I said.

"Chaos, party of two," said Kari.