Library

22. Keats

22

KEATS

S taring aimlessly at the stuffed monkey in my nephew's chubby little hand, I'm not sure if this is the right idea to collect my thoughts.

Summer shifts Bo on her lap as she sits next to me on the sofa at Foxy Rox, getting settled after just arriving.

"Why the sudden need to see Bo? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to pencil you in on his busy social calendar, but you just sounded insistent on the phone," my sister prods.

My eyes drop to my coffee mug in my hand, as I've been waiting a few minutes. "You said when I called that you were in the car not far from here," I explain, as though I'm not that crazy.

"Meh, true. I needed to hit the superstore off the highway for our monthly diaper stock-up." She makes funny faces at her son and coos to him. "Uncle Keats seems a little moody, no?"

Rolling my eyes, I get to the point and reach for my nephew. "Gimme."

Now my sister just seems perplexed as she hands over the goods. "Uh, why am I handing over Bo? It's always a win to give my arms a rest, but you're acting really strange." Does it matter? She seems relieved to be able to reach for her drink on the coffee table without a struggle.

My nephew is drooling on my forearm, but it doesn't matter. He's supposed to bring me clarity. Help me break down these feelings swirling inside me and through my bones.

"It's just been a long week, and maybe I'm struggling to burn off the exhaustion. Thought it would be good to see a familiar face or two."

My sister studies me. "Okay, what happened?"

I roll my lips into my mouth to avoid telling her my predicament. "Nothing," I lie.

"Work?"

"Fine."

"Esme?"

"Under the weather with a cold."

My sister rests her elbow against the back of the couch as she patiently waits for me to say more. "Give Bo some of your oat cookie that you haven't touched." She motions with her head to the small plate next to my coffee.

I nod and pull off a piece, deciding against informing her that it's an energy protein cookie that they make in-house here. Bo will be flying later.

He squeals, and I look down to see crumbs already over my clothes. Holding him closer, I try to channel my inner turmoil, and my internal voice is not informing me what I want to hear, but I push it to the side.

However, it highlights that my plan is failing.

My arms shoot out to hand him back and his feet dangle as my sister collects him to return to her lap. "Okay, annoyed with my kid? Not cool. "

Rubbing my face, I want to scream away the aggravation.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out and my nephew wasn't solving it."

Her eyes drop to my nephew then lift to me. "Well, he isn't even two. Apologies if his skillset isn't up to par."

Blowing out a breath, I'm being such an ass, and my little sister, the angel she is, just takes it in stride with a fond smile. "I might have hit a little roadblock," I admit.

Especially since the kid did chip away at clarity in my head. I was supposed to be scared away by the thought of having a child. It's me. My own kids have not been on the radar. Which is why this whole day is turning into one big roll down a hill where I will eventually crash.

It's an epiphany.

A future that I do want.

And I'm disappointed.

Finding the pregnancy test, which Esme clearly didn't tell me she even needed to take. I would say that makes me livid, except…

I'm purely upset because the test is negative.

That's the crazy part.

Not once have we discussed kids in relation to us. Yet here I am, disheartened because she's not pregnant. With my child. Because in the future it has to be her. There is nobody else that I envision the future with.

That test is the kick in the gut that I've been waiting for to enlighten what is past our current relationship status.

"Your roadblock?" My sister reminds me that she is waiting for an answer.

A domino is getting knocked over in my head. "I guess it isn't one at all," I realize aloud.

"Everything is good between you and Esme, right? I mean, I like her, but I'm always team Keats first, you're my brother."

I lean in to touch her arm with appreciation. "I promise, we're fine." Maybe Esme views it differently, but right now, there is only one outcome I will allow.

"I would say living together unexpectedly can be a challenge, but it can also bring great things." She smiles, and she has experience since her fiancé was forced to move in due to a request in a will.

"But you and Nash already had history," I highlight.

She shakes her head confidently. "Doesn't matter. It can all still come together, even if you don't have a past."

"Always so wise," I say dryly before taking a sip of my now-cold coffee.

"You might even be a step ahead, as a new relationship is an open book, and you can start on page one together."

Okay, now this is getting too sappy. "Conversation done."

Summer laughs. "Ah, I love it. Being able to tease my brother about his romantic life is golden."

"Happy to provide entertainment."

She begins to gather their things. "On that note, I'm not sure if our quick visit helped in any way, but we need to go. I still need to hit the store and then get this one home before his afternoon nap."

I help search for the stuffed monkey and stand with her when it seems she is ready to leave. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Sure. Let me know when you are offering your babysitter duties. Or if you would like to go change Bo's diaper now, then by all means."

"You're good. I'm not really a fan of kids unless it's my nephew or my own. "

My sister immediately pauses, and her eyes bug out. "Say what?"

I drag a hand across my face. "Nothing. We'll be in touch, I see Oliver over there." I divert us, and when I hug Summer, she still seems to be pondering if she heard my blunder correctly. Luckily, my nephew saves my ass and begins to fuss, indicating they need to leave.

As they leave and Summer quickly waves to Oliver, I turn to my friend.

"You're not at home?" Oliver asks as he wanders my way. I forgot he mentioned that he would be here later.

My brows rise as I struggle to return to a normal conversation. "Uh, yeah."

"No offense, but you look a little the worse for wear, and it's only been a few hours since I saw you. Did something happen?" Even with enlightenment now present in my life, he can't be far off that I could use a refresh with a shower and sleep.

I rub the back of my neck. "Nothing to worry about. I just thought I would let Esme sleep in peace, as she still seems to be recovering from her flu." And apparently is not pregnant, to my dismay.

"Makes sense. Liam will be here in a few minutes, are you going to stick around?"

"Maybe. But I probably need to get back since I just spent time with my sister."

While he quickly goes to the counter to place his order, I'm left to stew in my thoughts again.

I've been falling for Esme, but I could be a little more flawless in my execution of the sentiment.

I fucking love her. Absolutely love her.

It's obvious that she's everything that apparently I wanted. The person I'll grow old with and argue with, only to have make-up sex every single time.

And not living with me? No way am I letting her move back to her house. I'll burn it down again if I need to.

This is why I've been so incredibly possessive and drawn to her. She's more than mine; she's everything.

I'll shake her until she admits that she is with me on this. I might have been the one to fall first for her, but I'm convinced she has been trailing right behind me and hopefully is caught up.

"Why are you smiling to yourself?" Oliver breaks into my thoughts.

My arms flop up then fall. "Damn it, can you please stop interrupting me when I'm thinking?"

"Crabby." He slides onto the lounge chair next to me. "But seriously, are you okay?"

The stretched line on my mouth returns. "More than."

He takes a sip of coffee and seems to be skeptical but follows along. "I would ask if your current radiant state has to do with Esme, but I know that answer."

Staring ahead, I can't hold it any longer. "I'm going all in." I blink from my daze, and my eyes swim to Oliver who just shrugs as if it's nothing.

"For someone who spent years in law school, I've been wondering why you haven't already planned everything out once the lust clears." He cooly drinks his coffee as though this is a daily conversation.

"One day you will understand. You just have to wait for the right one, and then it will suddenly make sense."

Now Oliver's face puzzles. "Did they put something in your coffee here?" He pretends to search the room. "You are a little too positive for even me."

There is no other way to be. I'm tired of going in circles, and Esme is at home probably having had a hellish few days if it led her to take a test.

Rubbing my face, I'm thankful that a giant dose of oxytocin will keep me going today.

"Just let me be. I'm going to head out. I really need to keep the day moving before I pass out." And I don't plan on wasting any more seconds.

Esme is at home, and unlucky for her, this is all going to go one way.

My way.

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.