RUBI - Part One
RUBI - PART ONE
This scene and the ones that follow are set after the end of Divine Heart.
Viktor and Ranger. It made sense now it was in front of my face and I couldn't fathom how I'd never seriously considered it before.
"They're cute."
Mateo scowled through a haze of weed smoke. "Who is?"
"Vicky and Roo."
"How do you know?"
"Nash told me."
Mateo didn't seem convinced, and I couldn't blame him. Couldn't speak for Viktor, but romance and Ranger had never occupied the same space in my brain, and the truth was, I was reeling from the juiciest tea we'd had in a while. I chose to reel—so it distracted me from the bruising discord The Elders had brought back from their northern adventure.
And the fact that Saint had hung around long enough to check Ranger wouldn't die, then he'd left again, storming out of the safe flat beneath Orla's in a fit of temper I'd never, ever fucking seen from him, and he hadn't come back.
"You think he's okay?"
"Who?"
"Ranger. Saint. Cam ." Mats gave me a dry look. "Take your fucking pick."
"Ranger's going to be fine. Just needs some rest. Locke said he's better now Viktor's here—see my original point."
"And the others?"
I rubbed my chest, where my big achy heart thumped a painful beat. "The Elders are hurting. And we have to let them, or they'll keep doing this shit to each other until one of them dies for it."
It was the worst pep talk ever and put me off the sneaky zoot me and Mats had ducked out to smoke after a late dinner in the chapel for anyone who wanted it.
Cam and Alexei hadn't come. And Saint was gone , a case of affairs that gave me fucking hives.
"I need to go soon." Mateo finished the joint and tucked the butt into the box as if Chattypants was right here. "That cat gets fucking rowdy if I don't feed him on time."
"Black cats are supernatural. Don't fuck with him."
"I don't. He fucks with me by trashing my house every night. I swear down the little shit opened a cupboard last night and tossed everything out of it."
"That'll be your fault."
" You're a cunt."
I grinned and it felt good, though it concerned me even more that Saint hadn't reclaimed his cat. But the brief flare of humour didn't last, even if I super enjoyed the image of Mats chasing a rampaging feline around the house he still didn't seem to know what to do with. "I need to go home soon too. When are Deeky and Folk back again?"
That I'd forgotten spoke volumes of how frazzling the last few days had been.
"Tomorrow." Mateo answered as he hopped over the railing to his hog. "Nash is going to wait at the house and fill them in."
"Lucky Nash."
Insert sarcasm. I wasn't worried about Decoy, but Folk's reaction to this mess was less predictable. The bad blood with the Aldea clan predated his biker days, and I knew he didn't give much of a fuck about gangster politics. But Ranger mattered to him, and Cam was already on his shit list because of the Doherty debacle before Ranger had gone wherever he'd gone to mate for life with Vicky The Russian.
Should probably stop calling him that.
Eh.
Mateo left the compound, riding out with a couple of prospects we'd been training on guard duty, while I watched my phone, waiting for the text to say he'd made it home. It came through twenty minutes later, but I didn't relax. Worrying about Saint was doing me in.
River emerged from the garage, oil on his face and a collection of engine parts piled in his arms that he was absolutely going to spread all over the coffee table when we got home. "What's wrong with your face?"
"Born this way."
"Nah, boo. You were born laughing." He got close enough to sniff my neck and lick my cheek, cos the love of my life was a primal little dragon. "Can we go home?"
I checked my phone. A text from Orla waited for me.
Khaleesi: Pretty sure I just heard sex noises coming from downstairs, so you can stop angsting about Ranger xx
Rubi: Your place is sound-proofed. If you heard naughty sounds, you should check the shower for stray lovers giving themselves a Friday treat
Khaleesi: I heard them in the stairwell, dickhead
Khaleesi: Love you xx
I grinned. Pregnant Orla was so much nicer than regular Orla.
Rubi: Love you too. Tell Nashie I'm going home
I signed off for the night, resisting the urge to call Cam, or take a ride past his place on our way home to check in with him too. Alexei's with him . I'd made the mad accountant promise he wouldn't fuck off anywhere, and for once, he'd given me a straight answer.
"I will not leave him, old one. I could not be anywhere else right now."
He'd looked guilty when he'd said it, but I'd yet to puzzle that shit out, and I was out of brains for the day.
We rode home. It was a full moon—it wasn't—but it felt like it should be as River took it upon himself to make us a snack.
I poured myself onto the couch, ignoring the weed tin on the coffee table. Blanking out for a few hours appealed to me more than I could quantify, but there was too much going on for me to be too stoned to ride.
Instead, I put on the second season of House of the Dragon and regretted it. Honestly, what utter shite.
"Stop pouting." River wedged himself onto the couch and balanced a pile of toast on his chest. "You didn't like the first season. Why would this one be any better?"
"Is it wrong to have hope?"
"It's wrong to waste your time on terrible fucking things."
"What about fucking terrible things?"
"Wouldn't know, boo. There's nothing terrible about you."
River ate the toast he'd smeared jam all over, saving the Marmite goodness for me. I inhaled it while pondering if he'd always been like this—so quick with loving words that killed me stone dead. Or if it was a recent thing, and if it was, what the fuckety-fuck did it mean?
That he was happy?
Content?
That he felt safe enough by now to let me all the way in?
Mother of Dragons, I hoped that was it. It was all I'd ever wanted for him, even if he couldn't have it with me and I had to live my life watching him love someone else.
I brushed crumbs from his shirt. There was jam on it, obviously. So I got rid of that too and tugged him against me, his back to my chest, the little spoon of my fucking dreams.
Spoiler alert: ten minutes into our TV and cuddle binge, Arrax got whacked.
"Fuck that." I clicked out of the show and switched to iRobot. "I'm not built to watch dragons die."
Half asleep, River grumbled something. I ditched the remote and pulled him closer. "Don't conk out on me yet."
"Why not?"
I lacked any answers that didn't involve pressing my face into his neck and letting my hands wander, reacquainting myself with his lean frame. The sharp edges of his personality had softened a little over the past year, and he'd gained some timber since he'd come home to the club, but he was still all hard planes and ink. Still smelled of petrol, sugar, and terminal O'Brian sarcasm. "I love you."
River tiled his head, giving me better access to his throat. "I love you too."
"Yeah?"
"You don't know?"
"I'm lying here wandering if you'd have gone with Cam if he'd asked you."
"He'd never have asked me."
"But what if he had?"
River sighed, but it was cut off by my teeth as I bit him. "Fucking hell."
"Answer me."
"All right." River let me bite him one more time, then he shifted to face me. "If you want to explore this fucked up narrative, let's start with realism. How does it play out if Cam had asked you? "
I snorted. "Despite his most recent behaviour, our fearless leader ain't that stupid."
"You'd have said no?"
"Based on what I know, I think so."
"What if he'd lied to you too?"
I pursed my lips. This was getting tricky, and presented a fine example of why I should think before I opened my fat mouth. "Before the shit that just went down, I always thought I'd know if Cam was bullshitting me. But he fooled Saint and Alexei. Maybe he's cleverer that we've ever given him credit for."
"He's not clever, he's a fucking idiot."
"That's what the queen said." Before both O'Brian siblings had instantly forgiven Cam all sins. And I couldn't find fault with them for it. How could I when Cam had taken out the last bastion of men responsible for killing their dad? "I wouldn't have gone." I found certainty in my answer. "I promised I'd never leave you and I meant it."
"Then why don't you believe I'd have done the same?"
"Riv, he's your brother."
River slid his arms around me, nuzzling my neck, licking a path to my ear where he got his revenge with his teeth. "And you're my person. Boo, I'll never leave you."
He would, one day. When we were grey and old. Or it'd be me summoned to my maker. But I wasn't in the mood to contemplate our unavoidable mortality. I was in the mood to fuck him on the couch and forget the last week had ever happened. I was dealing with this shitshow better than I had Nashie's accident, but nearly losing Ranger had hurt almost as much. That grumpy motherfucker had the heart of the kindest dragon. The only soul who didn't know it was him.
Vicky knows .
And wasn't that a turn up for the books?
Whatever. It could wait. Everything could except the need to be as close to my lover as possible.
We weren't wearing many clothes. I tossed them all and put River on his back, taking rare advantage of my bulkier frame. "Can I fuck you, Riv?"
River curled his legs around me. "You don't need to ask me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're afraid of me saying no ."
"I'm not scared." Not of that, anyway. If there was anything about our sex life that concerned me it was that one day, the shit he did to me would fucking kill me. That I'd die with his dick inside me, or in my mouth, and all the grand plans I had for the rest of our natural lives together would come to nothing. "Just say yes. Please?"
River rolled his eyes, but he humoured me and claimed my mouth in a bruising kiss as I notched us together. " Yes ."
His voice wrapped around the word as I eased inside him and sinful, white-hot pleasure surged inside me. I hadn't fucked him in ages—not because I didn't want to, fuck no. More because he was so damn good at fucking me that I couldn't find the will to give it up. Another thing I lacked, and I wasn't sad about it. But this…being inside him in the house we called our home, it was so perfect I nearly cried. Would've if his low, savage groan hadn't distracted me.
It got messy.
Loud.
I planted a foot on the floor and fucked River like I goddamn loved him. All in. No holding back. And like everything with him, it transcended normality and became an experience I'd never forget. An out-of-body existence I'd be forever tied to.
We weren't having sex. It was more than that—so much more. He was my mate. My fated companion. If we'd never reached a place to make this work, I'd have died alone and been glad of it. If I couldn't have this—if I couldn't have him —I didn't want anything.
Unhinged ecstasy built in my veins. I drove harder into him, jaw clenched as he fisted his cock, matching my pace, his body locking up, his body combusting as he came and dropkicked me over the edge.
Man, every time we came together, I thought that was it. That it could never be better. Then we'd fuck again, stars exploded, and I'd be wronger than the wrongest thing.
Tonight I was the King of All Wrong—I was dead —and I collapsed on River in a sweaty, shivering heap. "You're magic."
He laughed, breathless and tired. "I try."
"I love you."
River made a sound I took as reciprocation, and we lay there forever. Or at least until I found the energy to drag him upstairs.
We fucked most of the night. I'd barely been asleep when River woke me up, already dressed, oil on his hands from the engine pieces he'd tucked into a box.
"You need to get up."
"Fuck that." I reached for him. " You need to come back to bed."
"Boo, I'm serious."
Alarm punched through any remnants of sleep. I bolted upright. "Why? What's happened?"
River pulled a face, scratching the back of his neck. "Honestly? I don't know. But he didn't come here for me."
"Who didn't?"
River lost his patience with twenty questions. He yanked me off the bed. "You'll see. Just be quiet, okay? No stamping or shouting."
"Is that irony supposed to kill me?"
"Shh." River kissed me. Then the bastard left without further explanation and I was too naked and confused to do anything about it.
He didn't come here for me. What the fuck did that even mean?
Nothing that I was going to figure out with my dick in my hand, which was a crying shame. One I resented as I dragged on some clothes and stomped— quietly —down the stairs.
One I forgot all about the second I spotted Saint sound asleep on my living room floor.