MATEO

MATEO

I was a suspicious motherfucker. Always had been, even before my life had taken the soap-worthy twist that had landed me in the domestic bliss I'd burn down the world to protect.

Didn't make me rational, though, so I kept most of my thoughts to myself. Alexei wanted to disappear for days and days at a time? Saint wanted to round up every gun we'd ever stashed and clean the fuckers?

Fine.

Cam wanted to spar eighty times a day? To let me fucking hit him like he needed to practise taking a punch?

Double fine.

As long as it didn't mess with my version of perfection, I didn't give much of a fuck.

Except, I did give a fuck, and while I wasn't the most perceptive dude in the room, and I definitely wasn't the cleverest, the sense that something fucked up was unfolding was impossible to ignore.

I waited for someone else to see it too.

Em.

Folk.

Rubi.

But for long weeks no one said anything. We just carried on acting like this bullshit was normal. We let it happen, and it did my fucking head in.

"Papá, you're so grumpy."

" I'm grumpy?" I fired a look into the rearview mirror, meeting Liliana's glare with one of my own. "You literally just told me I'm not allowed in your room for the rest of the week."

"Because you keep messing with my stuff."

"No. Because you keep hiding all the plates in your room and other people need to fucking eat."

"Don't swear."

"Not gonna happen, mija. Flay me for my other sins."

"Like not letting me have a phone?"

"What do you need a phone for?"

"So I can text my friends ."

"What friends?"

She didn't have many. Lili was like me— suspicious.

" Willow. Rubi. They have a group chat."

"I'm in that group chat. You can text them from my phone anytime you want."

"But then you read everything I write."

"I'd see it anyway, and…and you know what? You think I have the time for that shit regardless?" Fucking-A, this kid lived on another planet. "That phone is the bane of my fucking life. I don't read half the messages that are meant for me, let alone you."

"Liar."

"Am I?" I gave her another sharp look that she returned with a fire that Juana was as much to blame for as I was. "Nena, I don't lie to you."

"Where's Alexei then?"

"Right now? How the fuck would I know?"

"He said he'd help me some more with my French homework."

"He said he'd try . If he was around. And he isn't right now."

"I know, duh . That's why I asked where he was."

Duh. I loved Ivy like she was my own, but I would never forgive her for introducing that word into Liliana's vocabulary. It fucking haunted me, slung in my face every time my kid thought I was a dense, dumbfuck idiot, which just so happened to be ten times a day at fluctuating intervals.

And guess what? She never said this fucking shit to Embry.

"I don't know where Alexei is," I told her honestly. "Or when he's coming back." Another truth. "If you're still stuck with your homework, you'll have to ask your teacher, or maybe Folk. He speaks a bit of French…I think?"

Actually, I didn't know. And I didn't fancy asking as Folk had been weird recently too. By his standards, anyway. Which just meant he was quiet and didn't go in the water as much when we took the kids swimming.

He doesn't need to. Liliana can swim now, remember?

Like a fucking shark with a turbo button, Lord help me.

I pulled up outside the big high school Liliana had attended since last autumn and parked among the crazy parents with their giant cars and zero spacial awareness. Some cunt was up my arse immediately, but after checking he was a bellend I recognised and not a mafia hit squad, I swallowed my glare and concentrated on getting my kid to the gates without throat-punching anyone. "Have a good day, gusanita. And behave, okay? I ain't got time to get reamed on the phone by your teacher today."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"Anything but that."

Liliana rolled her eyes and went inside. I waited for her to settle, then fucked off back to the car.

Dickhead in the Ford had blocked me in. I settled in to wait, summoning every ounce of patience I possessed, cos I knew he was going to piss me off the second I laid eyes on him. And I was right, obviously. This twat ate irritating for breakfast and smeared it all over his smug face.

"You could've reversed out. I left you enough room."

"Only if you don't want your bumper."

"Don't be ridiculous."

I bit my tongue. Blood filled my mouth as I watched the man climb into his Kuga and shunt it forward. And of course he drove smack bang into my car.

Talking him into writing a cheque instead of handing over my insurance details took me an hour. Or maybe it was convincing him that I was just that nice that took the work.

Either way, I really was grumpy by the time I eased my battered car into a space at the compound.

Rubi had a nose for calamity. He popped up before I'd even shut the engine off and wrenched the door open. "What happened?"

"Some knobhead at the school drove into me."

"Who?"

"Captain Can't Park."

"That his official title?"

"If you like."

Rubi narrowed his eyes, giving me a shrewd once-over that would've rattled me more if he didn't have a hot-pink bandana tied around his head, one that matched the harem pants billowing in the wind around his legs. "Did you punch him?"

"At the school gates, fam? Give me some credit."

Rubi ran his gaze over the car again. Then stepped back, giving me room to get out and deal with whatever had crawled up his arse and died.

I stretched my legs and thought about smoking. Didn't do it for various reasons, one of them being Nash's commitment to quitting and my awareness that he'd emerged from the garage and was heading straight for us.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

I repeated the story and showed him the cheque, in case he was as gnarly about it as Rubi had been, but Nash was more interested in the dented door than me.

"That's gonna take a couple of days. Can you cadge a lift for the school run?"

Decoy was the obvious choice. Ivy still attended the primary school across the road from Liliana's high school. But I happened to know he had plans for the weekend that didn't involve doubling back on himself to ferry me home, and I wasn't about to fuck that up for him. "I'll figure it out with Juana."

Nash went back to scrutinising the underside of my car. Rubi remained all up in my business, but I didn't mind. I had nothing to hide, and it felt so fucking good. Even now, when Liliana had been part of club life for two fucking years.

"You should come to yoga."

"Fuck off."

"It's good for you."

"I don't need my legs wrapped around my neck to feel good."

Mischief danced in Rubi's eyes. "How'd you know if you haven't tried?"

"Who says I haven't tried?"

Rubi laughed. Then cringed. "That would be funny if you were making sex jokes about anyone else."

Way back when, whatever he felt for Embry would've made me want to thump him. Cos I was jealous that he got to be open about his love for someone I'd been hooked on since we'd met.

These days, I laughed too, all the while trying not think about the joke that had bubbled out of my mouth. As if I had bottom humour for days, when the truth was the thoughts that spun through my mind were anything but funny .

"Oh, look. Travel Man returns."

I followed Rubi's gaze across the yard in time to catch Alexei emerging from the chapel, clothes pristine as they always were when we weren't fighting for our lives in the dirt, not a hair out of place. But something was different…

"When the fuck did he get here?" That came from Nash as he hauled himself from the ground, ignoring the hand Rubi held out to help him. "I was literally just in the chapel and I swear to fucking God he wasn't in there."

I snorted. "Finding an answer to that question is like asking why water is wet."

"It's about viscosity," Rubi started.

"Shut the fuck up."

He grinned. "Not in the mood for a basic science lesson?"

"I never fucking asked."

Rubi's amusement stayed put as he smirked at me. Then it faded as he tracked Alexei across the yard and watched him stalk straight past Cam as our president jogged down the clubhouse steps.

They didn't even look at each other—as if Alexei hadn't been out of sight for more than a fucking week. "Did I miss something?"

Rubi's frown deepened. "Looks like we all have, but I'm getting used to that feeling."

Finally. "For real? I thought I was imagining it."

"Imagining what?"

"Don't fuck about." I gave in and stuck a smoke in my mouth, sending Nash an apologetic glance. A guilty one. He'd quit because he had a kid on the way. I had two already, but this vice remained a thorn in my side. "That lot have been tapped all summer."

Rubi and Nash exchanged a long look. The kind of look that usually meant they were about to shut me out of something I didn't want to know anyway. If I wanted hassle, I had Saint for that. But like Alexei's vacant stare as he'd crossed the yard, this felt different too.

"You're not imagining it," Nash finally said. "Something's up with them, but they're not giving it up. I've tried, Orla's tried."

Rubi grimaced. "Me and Riv have too. And Cam ain't even talking to Em about whatever it is."

"Unless Em's keeping it to himself," I reasoned. "It's his job to vault everyone's personal shit."

My brothers took a moment to think about it. But in the end, it was Nash who shook his head. "I know it didn't look like it a minute ago, but those three…they're closer than ever. Unless one of them's dying, this is business and they're about to do something ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" Rubi's expression darkened. "That's streaking through the May fair after eight ciders at lunchtime, ain't it, Nashie ? This is worse than that. Can't you fucking feel it?"

Nash's silence said it all—that he did feel it, and so did I. But what the fuck could we do about it? All of us had contacts we could fish for information from, for anything we'd missed unfolding in the world we'd tried so hard to walk away from. But no one had more contacts than Cam, Saint, and Alexei. Rubi coined them The Elders for a reason, and there was zero chance of any calls we made not reaching their ears.

Our huddle broke up. My heart craved my husband, even though we'd been apart for barely two hours. But I was shit out of luck for the rest of the day—he'd gone bricklaying with a gang of prospects and he wouldn't be back until they ran out of light.

Mateo: miss u

Embry: I miss you. Shame we can't have an early night

Mateo: id go 2 bed rt now if u were in it

He sent me a grinning emoji. I craved more, but I had to wait. And it wasn't like I had no one else to occupy my time.

I stole Hope from Juana and walked back to my house with her, like a regular dude, leaving my battered car to Nash. Folk had taught me how much fun it was to just walk around with my littlest kid, showing her ducks and shit while she pulled my hair and tried to stuff biscuits in my ears. I'd never got to do it with Lili, to just chill with her while she was tiny enough not to notice how old life made me feel sometimes.

Life made Saint feel old too. I perched Hope on my hip and thumbed out a text to him.

Mateo: ems gon be lte. d u wanna ride latr?

Cringed as I fired it into the ether, but if there was one brother who wouldn't judge me for fucking up words, it was Saint.

He made me wait, though. For two fucking hours before he messaged me back.

Saint: meet me at 6

He didn't say where—didn't have to. After seven years, we had a routine. I met him at his campsite by the sea, expecting a night—or at least an evening—rumbling around our turf, checking on shit, showing face where we needed to. A lot had changed, but not that.

Did not expect the box of posh cat food and the envelope he pushed into my hands. "What's this?"

"Insurance."

"For what?"

Saint sipped from a mug of the same funky tea Embry liked. Behind his van, the sun was starting to dip behind the cliffs, bathing the distant ocean in orange, casting a glow over his face.

It did nothing to hide an expression I'd never seen in him before. And of course, he didn't fucking answer me.

I made to open the envelope.

He stopped me with a lightning fast flick of his wrist. "Not now."

"When then?"

Saint shrugged, and my imagination went into overdrive, picturing the worst fucking thing.

He wouldn't .

Not after what had happened to Cam's mum. To other brothers who'd found life too hard to live. He wouldn't do it to Cam. To Orla. But as certain as I felt about that, the envelope scorched my palms, bad vibes for days leeching from it.

I tried to give it back to him.

He evaded and walked away, disappearing who the fuck knew where.

I waited a while, but he didn't come back. So I went home and kicked around an empty house, killing time waiting for Embry by fluctuating between exhausting texts from Liliana and glaring at the envelope.

It annoyed me as much as I hated being home alone. In the end, I stuffed it in a drawer and smoked enough weed to make my head spin.

Embry came home to my baked self cooking a kilo bag of McCain Home Fries. He didn't question it. He ate with me and sucked my stoned brains out through my dick. It was morning before my attention returned to the envelope and the cat food I'd forgotten about.

Em was still sleeping. Leaving him didn't appeal to me, but this fucking thing , man. It played with my head. I was up at dawn staring at the fucker again, and I had to know what the fuck it was.

Forgoing coffee, I tore it open with more force than truly necessary, scattering the contents on the kitchen counter.

A scrap of paper.

A patch.

Saint's patch, and the coded coordinates for the dozen or so weapons caches I knew existed but he'd never told me about.

Insurance.

That's what he'd said. For his job. For his fucking cat…

Fuck this .

I bolted upstairs, waking Embry abruptly enough for his fist to draw back to punch me in the face. "Get up. We need to go ."

"The kids?"

"Saint."

Dazed, he didn't question it any further. Just hurled himself out of bed and stormed to his bike with me, and together we roared away loud enough to wake the whole street, and for once fast enough—for me, anyway—that any fed on the road would've pulled us over in a heartbeat.

Shame for them the roads were as clear and un-policed as they'd always been around here. We made it to the compound without incident and I burned to a stop, rolling off my hog like my arse was on fire.

Nash is here.

If he'd ever left.

I burst into the chapel and found him at the table, smoking the cigarettes he'd given up, staring at the ancient wood with an emotion that twisted my gut.

An envelope lay in front of him, engine oil fingerprints all over it, his name written in a hand I knew to be Cam's.

I tossed mine on top of it, startling Nash as Embry staggered in behind me. "What the fuck is going on?"

He raised his gaze. Took a breath. But the sound of another fast-approaching hog cut him off and we both swivelled to the window in time for a bobber to tear the yard up, its rider dismounting as fast as I had.

Rubi filled the doorway a second later, his own envelope ripped open and crushed in his big hand, his gaze as broken as Nash looked. "Fuck me running." His balled fists trembled. "The Elders have gone to war without us."