Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Harper

The morning was a dizzy haze. I blamed the lack of sleep. Arguing with Paisley had left me lying there in bed for an awfully long time, staring out the window at where I could see her house across the street, and I’d just… thought. I didn’t even know what about. But all in all, it kept me up past midnight, and I got maybe four hours of sleep.

Still, it was hard to say if it was actually the lack of sleep or if that was a convenient excuse. I’d interrogate that thought never.

The morning rush was the same as ever, people coming in bright-eyed, cheerful and chattering, and people coming in looking as sleep-deprived and dead on their feet as I was. Either way, it was easy to tune out while I was here—just get into the flow, go through a list of things I knew needed doing, and find my peace in the moment.

Emberlynn came in nice and early today, which gave me information that, as always, I actively tried not to think about. She gave me an anxious smile as she set down a loaf of Italian white bread and a tray of blueberry muffins.

“What’s tonight’s dinner?” I said, bagging up her bread.

“No idea. Pais is cooking for me tonight, and she said to get Italian bread for it.”

Looked like I couldn’t get far without thinking of Paisley. I should have been pissed off at her rooting through my computer. Instead, I think I was just somehow glad I didn’t have to actually break the news to her—glad I didn’t have to say anything difficult. I kind of wished everyone would just stumble across it.

Well, I couldn’t handle that many meltdowns over it. Paisley’s had been enough. Having her storming out shouting that she hated me had been a cathartic relief, something I knew I deserved. It had been her leaning back in through the door downstairs to shout that she loved me that had hurt.

Why? I didn’t know.

“She’d better be careful,” I said idly, ringing her up. “There’s a half teaspoon of black pepper in the bread. Might be too spicy for her to handle.”

Emberlynn scratched her head. “Yeah… she said she wanted it for the spicy kick.”

“Jesus. I thought I was exaggerating. Eight thirty-two.”

She handed over her card, and I swiped it through, tossing the receipt. “Thanks,” she said.

“So,” I said. “Why the look?”

“God dammit.” She hung her head. “Ugh. I’m just up in my own head again. The exact same way as before. Over the exact same situation as before. Why am I such a fucking idiot?”

I sighed. “Well… in my humble view, if we don’t make fucking idiots of ourselves from time to time, we’re not growing.”

“Ugh. I guess. I do believe that. Just… how do I put myself in the exact same position and expect something else?”

“You don’t expect something else, you expect yourself to be able to handle it differently from last time. And you will. You’re better at pushing through the self-doubt now and making something with your own signature style regardless of the pressure. Want me to listen to what you’ve been working on?”

“No, I just want you to take away all of the problems forever. But in lieu of that, maybe. Do you want to come join us for… spicy dinner?”

Joining Paisley for anything right now was a no-go. I’d have to wait a while before I was ready to see her again. “I can’t do dinner, but I could swing by after I close here and we could grab lunch together?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Aria’s got calls at lunchtime, so we can go for noodles and I’ll bring back her favorite as takeaway for once she’s done?”

I laughed drily, shaking my head. “You two are sickeningly sweet. I love it. Yeah, that works. I’ll text you once I’m done with closing.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Harps. As always. I’d be useless without you.”

That was really not what I wanted to hear right now. What I needed was people lining up to tell me how I contributed nothing and they didn’t want me here.

After Anders came in and got the carrot mini-cupcake for Nancy, and once we’d chatted for a bit about what he and Nancy had missed at the party, I settled into the easy, comfortable lull that always came down over the shop around the time Anders left. I cleaned the floors, restocked the shelves, and I was in the middle of working through the evening batch of breads when the doorbell rang. I finished quickly with scoring the breads and shoved them in the walk-in oven, and I washed my hands before I stepped out to the front and fumbled over my own feet at the sight of Paisley there on the other side of the counter, a pink-wrapped gift box in her hands.

“Pais?” I said. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to trade something else for a cake today.”

She stuck out her tongue. “Nah. I mooched one of Emby’s leftover cupcakes this morning. You really nailed it with the lemon.” She set the package down, sliding it across the counter to me. It wasn’t… the best-wrapped package in the world, a little crumpled in the corners and held together with too much tape. And by a little crumpled I meant a lot. But it was a cute, soft shade of pink with a thin green ribbon, and a note tied to the ribbon read For Harper—I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I got a lump in my throat as I took the box, my heart beating fast. Paisley was the only one who’d ever gotten me to admit pink was my favorite color.

“You got me a present?” I said, finally. “Is it a bomb?”

“Nope, just ten thousand cockroaches.”

“Coming from you, I can’t be sure if that’s true or not…”

She waved me off. “Oh my god, you dumbass, just open it. It’s not actually bombs or cockroaches. It’s a going-away gift.”

Suddenly I wanted nothing to do with the gift. It hurt like a knife to the chest, and I prayed she didn’t notice the way my hands clenched tighter on the box.

“I don’t want you leaving without at least knowing first that you’re loved by—”

“I can’t accept it,” I sighed. Paisley looked like I’d just murdered her baby in front of her.

“What? Oh my god. You can’t not accept a gift from Paisley Macleod. Look how pretty I am today!”

She looked the exact same as always. In fact—she was wearing the same sweater as last night. Or maybe she had multiples of it.

Still, I sighed, setting the box down.

“I don’t need pity and sweet gestures and a bunch of people coming around telling me oh we’re going to miss you so much. That’s why I was too afraid to tell people. I can’t… I’m not going to play this game.”

Paisley scowled. I pushed the box into her hands, and wordlessly, she turned on her feet, storming back towards the door. My stomach churned with a sick sensation, regretting it instantly, but she stopped at the door, and—I blinked fast when she locked it, flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSED, and turned off the lights. Marching back towards me with grim perseverance, she held out the box.

“Try again,” she said.

“Did you just close my bakery down to do this?”

She gestured to the bakery. “What does it look like? Are you taking it or what?”

I folded my arms. I’d just regretted doing this, but a stubborn streak told me not to give in.

But Paisley planted her hands on the counter, and she leaned towards me, and my stomach dropped when she spoke in a low murmur, meeting my eyes.

“Uncross your arms.”

I—wasn’t emotionally prepared for this. I uncrossed them purely by reflex, my face burning. Paisley nodded.

“Good. Put your hands out, Harper.”

I put my hands out. I looked at them like they were betraying me. I felt like my whole body burned with embarrassment. Just because she was using the voice she used when we’d had sex and she’d told me what to do—

“Mm-hm. Just like that. Turn your palms up.”

I turned my palms up. I genuinely didn’t even think about it. She set the box down on my hands, and she leaned in closer, her gaze locked on mine. I didn’t want to know how much I was blushing right now.

“Right hand, up. On the ribbon. Hold the loose strand.”

“I… told you I can’t accept it,” I murmured weakly, but I took the loose strand of ribbon. The double entendre of unfastening it so the dressing could fall away wasn’t lost on me.

“Now pull on it.”

I pulled the ribbon. My breath hitched in my throat as it pulled against a snag, straining against the loose knot, tension building through my body as it drew tighter—and then I gasped, a small one but still an embarrassing one, when it gave, the ribbon coming undone and falling limp over my hand. My heart was racing. Over opening a present? Really?

Paisley smiled wider, and she reached up, and she took her glasses off. My head went fuzzy. With all the associations, and the fact that she’d taken her glasses off in the boat when we’d…

“You know what to do,” she whispered. I jerked involuntarily, every part of me embarrassingly flush with self-awareness, but I moved my hands to tear the wrapping, peeling strips away until it came down to a white gift box with a pale pink trim around the edges.

Paisley smiled, a glint in her eyes.

“Good,” she said, leaning back again, putting her glasses back on, breaking the spell. I jerked back to reality, my hands still shaking, as she gestured to the box. “C’mon, the gift is inside.”

I was going to—going to have a fucking heart attack and die. I burned with embarrassment, frustrated with myself to the point where I thought I’d die for being affected like that. “All right, all right,” I muttered, looking down at the box, forcing myself not to look at Paisley. “If you’re going to get pushy.”

She laughed. “You like when I do.”

Dammit.I did need to leave Bayview. With shaking hands, I lifted up the box lid, and I stopped, frowning at the inside.

A picture frame. It was a gorgeous frame, clearly from Emory’s shop, hand-carved wood with a quick ocean view painted into the corner along with the word Bayview, but… the frame was empty.

“Pais, I think you forgot the photo.”

“What?” She went wide-eyed, looking at it. “Oh, crap. Oh, god. What did I do with it?”

I gave her a deadpan look. After a second, she broke into her signature smile.

“Nah, I’m kidding. That was on purpose.”

“Sure.”

“I mean it. Are you ready for my brilliant idea?”

“No, it’s too brilliant for me to withstand. I’d better put it back and just open the shop again.”

She leaned over the counter, eyes sparkling. “We’re gonna take a picture for it.”

“You’re outsourcing the labor of making the gift to me?”

“Oh my god, it’s like you’re trying to be obtuse. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.” She let out a long, melodramatic sigh. “How’s this? Before you leave Bayview, one last tour of it. We go experience everything Bayview, and you’re going to have a great time so you don’t have to look back and worry about anything you missed out on doing. And we’ll take pictures, and you can put your favorite one in the frame to remember.”

I let out a heavy sigh, dropping the frame back onto the tissue paper in the box. Paisley was anything but conventional, but… she did give the best gifts. And this, turned out, was her outdoing herself. In a way that made me want to push her over, run away, hide myself away in my bedroom, and never see anyone again.

I didn’t deserve this. But I couldn’t bring that up without getting an earful from her.

“Is this tour going to be you sending me to do errands for you?” I said, finally. She snorted.

“C’mon. Cynicism isn’t a good look for someone that pretty. You’re going to decide what’s on the tour.”

“Really.” I tried to ignore the part about her calling me pretty. I didn’t know how to engage with it right now. “So I’m also the tour guide for my own tour.”

“Maybe less a tour and more, like… a bucket list.” She grinned. “Bayview bucket list. Everything you’ve ever wanted to do here. And I’m gonna spoil the hell out of you by taking you to do everything. What do you say? And your only option is yes, because it’s Paisley asking, so keep that in mind.”

“Bayview bucket list.” I rubbed my forehead. “How tacky is that?”

She put her hands on her hips. “You take that back right now, or I will start screaming as loud as I possibly can until you do.”

“Okay! Okay. I take it back. Oh my god.” I sank against the wall behind the counter, looking down at the frame.

“So? We’ll meet up tomorrow morning, and we’ll figure out what’s on your bucket list.”

I glowered. “I work in the morning, Paisley. Running the shop. I work literally every morning.”

“Not if you close tomorrow, you won’t.” She winked. “C’mon. You deserve a day off. Especially if you’re getting ready to leave, better wean everyone off this place.”

The more she talked about it, the realer it felt, and I wasn’t really… emotionally ready for that. I looked out the window. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Well, too late. I already put word out that you’re going to be closed tomorrow.”

I paused. “You did what?”

She puffed out her chest. “I’m the queen of gossip, you know. I want something to get everywhere in town, I can do it just like that, bam! Paisley superpowers. So, deal with it. You’re mine tomorrow morning.”

I felt myself flush. Dammit. Was I that easy? All she had to do was word something like that?

No—it was obviously a lot more than that. But that explanation was easier to accept.

“I don’t know why I ever try saying no to you,” I sighed, hard. “Well, I guess if nobody’s coming here tomorrow anyway—”

“Great!” She reached across and pulled me into an awkward over-the-counter hug, squeezing her face into my shoulder, the frame of her glasses pressing into my collar. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Oh my god, this is going to be great. I’m such a genius.”

“You’re certainly very… something.”

“Yep! A genius.” She pulled away, beaming, and she winked before she spun on her heel. “I’ll open the shop again on my way out! I’ll see you tomorrow, Harps. Love you.”

It really was pointless to try resisting her in anything. I sank against the counter, looking down at the empty photo frame in the box, staring up at me.