Chapter 21

Ihad trouble sleeping all weekend. I should have been flying high after that win, but I was worried about Brian going to the athletic director like he'd threatened. I tried not to show him how his threat affected me, but it had. I didn't tell Claire because I didn't want it to mar our time together.

I hated sneaking out of Claire's place, but we hadn't talked to Owen about spending nights together yet. I wasn't sure that was a good idea until we could be more open about our relationship, and I had no idea when that would be. We had playoffs to get through yet.

I wasn't sure what would come from Brian complaining that his son was pulled from a game after three interceptions when we went on to win with the backup quarterback who frankly looked better.

It didn't mean that Owen was our starter going forward. But Bryce's position was in jeopardy. I didn't think there was anything wrong with a little competition. But Brian wanted his son to be the king on the field.

I don't think he realized that Bryce was starting to get flack from the other kids on the team because of his dad's actions. When he was at practice, he still yelled at Bryce after every play. Then he made a point to talk to me after each one, telling me all the things I should be doing.

I just nodded, then said I needed to be somewhere. It killed me not to say anything when I wanted to ask him if he thought he was helping his son. Because he wasn't.

Bryce's well-being wasn't even a consideration for him. I wanted to think the best of people though, and I didn't want the fear to keep eating at me.

I was able to set it aside the night I spent with Claire, but I wasn't sure what would happen if Brian went to the athletic director. Would I lose my job because of one disgruntled parent?

It seemed ridiculous, but I couldn't shake the anxiety. I kept busy with the farm all weekend. On Monday morning, I'd signed up to substitute, filling in for a sick teacher.

Claire stopped in my doorway before homeroom. "I didn't realize you were working today."

The kids were starting to come in, so I stood and made my way to her. "I wanted to keep busy." I couldn't explain why because I hadn't told her about Brian yet, and it wasn't the time or place.

Claire looked like she was about to say something else, then remembered we weren't supposed to be friends. "Congrats on the game." Then her amused gaze flicked over the kids arriving. "And good luck today."

I chuckled like she was any other teacher, and not the one I'd been intimate with on Saturday night. "I'm going to need it."

Then I resumed my seat, observing the sixth graders as they came in. This was an honors-level class, and most of the kids were well behaved, but there were a few that liked to push the envelope.

Thankfully, no one felt the need to do that today because I was on edge. I hated that Brian got to me, that his threats caused me any stress.

After lunch, I checked the list of things we were supposed to go over for the social studies class. I reviewed the basics of the five battles they were studying for Ancient Greece when I heard a few comments like "Have you seen this?" and "Hey, let me see."

When I looked up, a few kids hovered around Lexie's desk, peering over her shoulder at her phone.

"Please put your phones away. We won't need them today." But no one listened.

One of the kids forehead wrinkled. "Is that Mr. Calloway?"

Why would the kids have a picture or video of me? Maybe it was from Friday night's game. But why would they be so interested in a football game? I stood and went to see what they were looking at.

I scrubbed a hand over my face when I saw it was a video of me knocking on Claire's door and her opening it. I cringed even though I knew what was going to happen. Claire, wearing her pajamas, leaped into my arms. It should have been a private moment, but someone had filmed it and shared it with the kids.

"Is that you, coach?" Kurt turned around to ask.

My jaw tightened. "Where did you get that?"

Lexie looked up at me nervously. "Everyone's passing it around. I don't know where it came from."

A muscle ticked in my jaw, and I felt sick. "Put your phone away, or I'm taking it for the rest of the day."

Lexie rushed to shove it in her purse. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was you in the video."

"It's not your fault."

As I made my way to the front of the room, my heart was racing, and my hands shook. The kids were whispering, and the one comment that stood out to me was, "Was that Ms. Coleman?"

This wasn't just about me. Claire was facing the screen and more visible than me, and she was in her pajamas. It was beyond inappropriate. I didn't want to jeopardize her job or mine. She didn't have any backup if she lost her job.

If something happened to me, it would be one more reason for my brothers to say I was a screwup. That I'd never amount to anything.

I stood at the projector with the worksheet with the blanks in the paragraphs on them. "Settle down. We need to go over these battles. Mrs. Allen said there will be a test on Monday."

I waited for the room to quiet down when Layla in the back row said, "Mr. Calloway? Mr. Miller is here to see you."

My stomach dropped. The principal stood in my doorway.

"I need to talk to you. We have someone to fill in for you."

The music teacher, Mr. Kinnan, looked sheepish as he moved to take over for me.

"You're supposed to review the battles. They have a test—" Suddenly, social studies didn't seem as important as it had.

"Don't worry. I've got this," Mr. Kinnan said sympathetically.

He probably knew I was in trouble.

There weren't a lot of substitute teachers, so the full-time ones pitched in when necessary. I didn't like that I was the one being called down to the principal's office. This had to be about the video circulating on the kids' phones.

I was a distraction, and there was no way the school was going to put up with it. I couldn't figure out who would have followed me to Claire's house, then filmed us. I felt sick as I followed Mr. Miller out of the classroom.

When we walked by Claire's classroom, her door was open, and she smiled when she saw me, only faltering when she noticed Mr. Miller next to me. I didn't have time to warn her about the video.

"We'll talk in my office."

This wasn't good. Inside his office, I sat where he indicated, next to Mr. Elias. Mr. Miller shut the door.

"What's this about?" I asked even though I had a pretty good idea.

"We had a call from a concerned parent—" Mr. Elias began.

"With all due respect, sir, a parent of one of my football players threatened to go to you because his son was taken out of the game. If that's the case, I don't see how that affects my job." I was itching to get back to class and do the job I was hired to do.

"If that's all it was, I wouldn't be interrupting either of your days. The problem is the video that's circulating between you and Ms. Coleman." Mr. Elias looked from me to Mr. Miller.

"It's highly inappropriate, and we have concerns," Mr. Miller said.

A muscle ticked in my jaw. "Someone followed me and filmed me in a private moment. We didn't do any more than kiss in that video. Then we went inside."

"The problem is we have a video of two teachers together. It's distracting to our students if they're watching this on their phones instead of listening in class."

I gestured with my hands. "You have to know that I had nothing to do with this."

"I have no doubt."

"What we should be worried about is who would do something like this. Whoever it was took the trouble of filming me, then passing the video around students' phones to create this distraction."

Mr. Miller cleared his throat. "I think that's a separate issue from your job here."

"I'm a great teacher. I go above and beyond. You know I do," I said to Mr. Miller. The last time I was here, he was singing my praises.

Mr. Miller's face filled with regret. "You know you can be blocked from subbing for any reason. The video was inappropriate and distracting."

"You can't do that," I said even though I knew he could. There were few guidelines on when and how a sub could be banned from a school.

Mr. Miller inclined his head. "You know we can."

"What about Ms. Coleman? She has nothing to do with this." It felt like my world was crashing down around me.

"We'll have a separate conversation with her. The details of that conversation will remain private, just like this one."

"Just not a private moment on a teacher's porch?" I couldn't help but ask.

Mr. Miller's gaze slid away from mine.

"Someone obviously did this on purpose."

"What purpose would someone have to film you making out with a fellow teacher?" Mr. Elias said.

"You said Brian Keaton came to you today with concerns about his kid being removed from the game."

Mr. Elias shifted in his chair. "Are you saying that he would do something like this?"

"Tell me something. Am I still coaching football?" My voice was tight.

"I don't think that's the best idea. Not until this dies down."

I stood, wanting to say this was bullshit but knowing that would be the absolute worst thing to do in a school. "That's why Brian did this. He was mad about his son being pulled from the game, and he got me removed as the coach. Mission accomplished."

"I don't think the two are related," Mr. Elias said calmly.

"Then you're not familiar with Brian, but you will be. Every time something doesn't go his son's way, he'll complain. You just gave him exactly what he wanted." Brian was a bully, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"We're going to need you to leave the property," Mr. Miller began.

"My bag is still in the classroom."

"We'll bring it to you."

They wanted me outside because they were worried that I'd do something irrational, but that wasn't who I was. I didn't retaliate physically or in any other way. It sucked that at the end of the day, my best wasn't good enough. Everything fell apart because of one mistake. Maybe two: not leaving Brian in the game and dating Claire.

Both would be my downfall, but I couldn't help but think if I'd driven home after the game, there wouldn't have been anything to film.

I walked outside, running a hand through my hair. Then I waited for Mr. Miller to bring out my bag.

It sucked.

A few seconds later, the door opened, and Mr. Miller handed me my bag. "We didn't have a choice."

I wanted to say you always have a choice, but instead, I said, "I enjoyed teaching in your school. Good luck."

Mr. Miller nodded, but there was pity in his eyes.

I tried not to let it get to me, to make me feel like less than, but I did. It was like every insecurity I'd ever had was rushing back to me. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough. I was the funny one. I was lazy. I didn't care about my future. I'd screwed up, and it sucked.

I went home, not even bothering to turn on the lights in my apartment. I hadn't found a new place. In fact, I'd suspended the search because I was busy with work and the farm. It was fitting that I still lived in the garage at my dad's property because I felt like a fraud.

I wanted to talk to Claire, to warn her. I was worried that she'd lose her job too. The difference was that she had a permanent position. That came with protections that subbing didn't. And my coaching job was on a temporary basis. I never worried about it because I was a good coach. I might not have the most wins, but I made a difference in those kids' lives.

It sucked that I couldn't finish out the season. What would the kids think? Would they think I was a disappointment too?

Once school was out for the day, I texted Claire.

Did administration talk to you?

I didn't get a response until much later, after I'd grabbed a beer. Somehow, I forgot to eat lunch and dinner. I just went straight to drinking.

Yes.

Do you still have a job?

Let me call you after Owen goes to bed.

I wanted to go over there, but I wasn't in any shape to drive. I hadn't eaten. I probably needed a shower, and now I was drinking like a chump alone in my apartment. She didn't want me there, especially if I was the reason she got called down to the principal's office.

I drank another beer, my stomach twisted into knots while I waited. My head ached, and my stomach rumbled, but I couldn't get up. I couldn't do anything besides sit in a dark room and feel sorry for myself.

Finally, my phone rang.

"Jameson?"

"Hey." My voice was rough from a day of disuse, so I cleared my throat and tried again, "What happened?"

"They wanted to talk about the video."

I couldn't tell from her tone whether the conversation went in the same direction mine had.

"I said we were dating. That we never did anything inappropriate on school property. In fact, the only time I talked to you in the school building was this morning. We intentionally kept it a secret. But I'm not sure they believed me."

I let my head fall back. "I didn't even think about Owen. He knows we're seeing each other. But he didn't need to see us attacking each other on video."

Claire was quiet for a few seconds before she said softly, "He never saw me be affectionate with his father. I hope he sees how much I care for you. But I see how he might be embarrassed to have that broadcast throughout the school."

"I'm so sorry, Claire. I screwed up."

"I think we both screwed up. But how could either one of us anticipate that someone would be following us and record a private moment? No one should have ever seen that, and we should be able to be ourselves on my front porch."

I gripped the phone tighter feeling the shame and guilt pile on higher. "What about your job? They didn't suspend you pending the investigation, did they?"

"No, but I think that has more to do with their shortage of teachers than anything else. I heard you lost yours though."

"I've been banned from teaching at that middle school. I'm not sure how that will affect me from getting jobs in the future." I hated that I couldn't do what I loved most: teach and coach. "They're replacing me as the football coach too."

"I'm so sorry, Jameson. I know how much you love that position."

I ran a hand through my hair. "I took them to the playoffs, and I won't be able to see how it turns out."

"Owen will be so upset. All the kids will be."

I chuckled without any humor. "This is what the parents wanted. If I don't do exactly what they ask, I'll lose my job. And not just based on my performance. No, they'll dig through my personal life and air it to anyone who will watch."

"Who would do that?" Claire asked.

"I think it was Bryce's dad. Not that the administration would listen to me."

"Because you took him out of the game and put Owen in. What else were you supposed to do?"

"Keep Bryce in, let him fall apart even more, ruin his self-confidence, and lose the game. I guess that's what his father wanted."

"Bryce's father can't fight his battles for him his whole life."

"I think we both know examples of parents doing exactly that," I said, thinking of the celebrities who paid colleges to accept their kids into their admissions program.

"It's not going to teach Bryce anything."

"I'm not even sure Bryce wants his dad to interfere."

"If Brian is running the show, does that mean Owen can't be the quarterback anymore? He was so excited, so proud of himself.

"I don't know. Maybe?" I couldn't think about the team I was no longer a part of. I felt for Owen, but the point of my suspension was that I be removed from the school's property and activities. I couldn't even see his game as a spectator.

Claire and Owen felt further away from me than ever. I'd never be deserving of them. "I think it's best if we take a break. At least until things cool down."

Claire sucked in a breath. "I don't think that's the answer."

"I messed up. You deserve better."

"That's ridiculous."

"That's my reality, and frankly I'm ashamed of myself."

"You're just going to walk away instead of fighting for us?" Claire asked, her voice getting stronger.

"We had to hide our relationship and obviously for a good reason. We shouldn't have kept it a secret. We shouldn't have pursued it at all. Look what happened? I destroyed all the good in my life." The teaching, coaching, and my relationship with Claire and Owen. "I'm irresponsible and immature just like my brothers and my dad always said."

"That's not true. I thought your dad supported your decisions now."

I chuckled dryly. "Not after this."

"But you don't know. I think you should take a few days to think about this."

"Nothing's going to change. I'm sorry, Claire. I'm sorry for fucking everything up. For being so selfish when everything was on the line. I don't want you to be in a position where you might lose your job again."

"Jameson—"

I looked around the small apartment. This was my life. Firefighting, if I still had a job there, and this small, cramped apartment above my dad's garage. "I have to go. I'm sorry."