Chapter 9

Nine

Abby

T hankfully, I finished with the wedding on Saturday in time to pick up Hunter from Brooke’s, at a reasonable hour. On the drive over, my mind drifted back to the parents’ baseball meeting.

It would have been so easy to give in and let Hunter play with Brody, but I wanted to keep my distance. Every time Nick was near, every hair on my body stood at attention. It was like my body was tuned into him and wanted a repeat of our night together.

I couldn’t give in to my desires again. I couldn’t forget my responsibilities or my past. Plus, it would be awkward if he was coaching my kid’s team. We needed to keep things professional.

I was impressed with Nick’s approach at the meeting. He wanted the kids to have fun and learn. He recognized it would be a building year for them, and I appreciated that he wanted to teach the kids respect and discipline. They were responsible for their own uniforms and practicing at home. If they didn’t do their homework, they couldn’t come to practice. I respected that. I was worried a coach would put baseball above everything else.

Nick’s love of baseball permeated the entire meeting. He mentioned his history with baseball and how many kids there were who played and loved the sport. The message was clear: a career in the majors was a long shot. But if being in a sport taught Hunter other life skills, I was all for it.

It was endearing that Nick read a script off his computer. One of the dads teased him for typing an agenda. Something about his admission that he’d typed seven pages tugged at my heart. He was serious about being a good coach, even if he hadn’t done it before. And staring at Nick wasn’t a hardship. I might have drifted off a few times, reliving the night we’d met. I wanted to run my hand over the stubble on his chin, feel the heat of his body as I pressed against him.

My body had a mind of its own, and I needed to get ahold of it before he saw right through me. He hadn’t tried to find me after that night. It would have been fairly easy since his cousin Ethan knew me. But he hadn’t. I had to face the possibility that he hadn’t wanted to find me.

I learned the hard way with my ex that you needed to read the cues people gave you. Nick didn’t want to pursue anything with me. He was fine leaving it at one night, and I needed to be, too.

Of course, the reason I walked away that night was Hunter. I wasn’t interested in a relationship. Trust was hard. My sister Brooke had gone through something similar when her ex-husband left her after two years of marriage after getting his green card. She’d felt used and betrayed. Like her entire marriage was a fraud.

When I opened the door without knocking, I ran into Brooke cleaning the kitchen. “I have dinner for you in the fridge if you’re hungry,” she offered.

“Starved, actually.” I was usually so tense during an event I didn’t eat before or during. Then when I got home, I remembered I hadn’t eaten.

She pulled the dish out of the fridge and heated it in the microwave.

Sitting at the table, I asked, “Where’s Hunter?”

“He’s playing round five hundred of foosball or ping-pong. Honestly, I’m not sure. They’ve been going hard most of the afternoon.”

Ben had a bunch of games set up in the basement. I think it was so Hunter had something to do besides video games when he came over.

“He’ll play anything with a ball,” I said, laughing as I recalled his re-telling of his day at school on Friday. “Apparently, the recess monitors took the balls away, and the kids played football with rocks.”

Brooke paused what she was doing to look at me. “Rocks? That sounds dangerous. And not surprising.”

“He’s a determined kid.”

“How’s baseball going?” she asked when the microwave beeped, signaling it was done heating.

“We had a parents’ meeting. So far, it seems doable. The coach seems great.” The man was looking more and more amazing but off-limits.

Brooke looked at me with interest. “Oh? Do you think there might be something there?”

My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

She tipped her head to the side. “Is he single?”

“As far as I can tell.” When we’d visited his house, I’d looked for any sign a woman living there and found none. There were no decorations on the walls or knickknacks on the shelves that weren’t baseball books and memorabilia.

“Is he attractive?” Brooke asked softly.

I flushed.

With a smile, she set the plate in front of me with a glass of water. “He is, isn’t he?”

“It doesn’t matter. I have no intentions of hooking up with my son’s baseball coach.” Not again, anyways.

Brooke frowned and sat at the chair across from me. “You’re the one who encouraged me to move on. You said you were ready to get out there again.”

I gave her a pointed look. “I didn’t say I wanted a relationship.”

And I got out there again—with Nick. I shoveled potatoes in my mouth, hoping it would discourage her questions.

She rested her elbows on the table, leaning toward me, and asked in a hushed voice, “Are you saying something else happened? Do you have a friends-with- benefits thing going on with anyone?”

I laughed. “That would be almost impossible with my schedule. Would we meet in a storage closet at the reception hall to bang out a quickie?”

Brooke grimaced. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”

Yet the truth wasn’t too far from that. I’d hooked up with someone at a wedding. I’d just had the decency to rent a hotel room. Not that it was any classier.

Her eyes narrowed on mine, clearly suspecting there was more. “You did do something.”

I didn’t feel a sharp pang at being caught because I wanted to talk to someone about it. It was no longer something I could put in the back of my mind and forget about. Nick would be in my life for the next year.

I checked to ensure the basement door was closed before continuing, “I hooked up with the best man at one of the weddings.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding.”

“Why is that so surprising?” Sure, it was clich, but it felt like the most grown-up thing I’d done in forever.

“Since you’ve had Hunter, you’ve barely dated.”

“I’m exhausted between the business and raising a kid. I haven’t had the time.” Or the inclination to even try. What was the point when you didn’t trust that anyone would stick around? My marriage was a fraud, just like Brooke’s had been.

Brooke sighed. “You encouraged me to take a chance with Ben. Despite my history.”

“That was different.”

Brooke tipped her head to the side. “Was it? Both of us lost the ability to trust men after what happened to us.”

“I have Hunter to think about. It’s not just me who will be let down. If I bring a man into his life, he’ll fall hard for someone who pays attention to him.”

Brooke winced. “That’s definitely a possibility.”

“I need to protect him. He’s hurt by his father’s absence. Hunter asks why his dad doesn’t come to games, doesn’t play catch with him, or take him fishing. Why he doesn’t want to visit with him. It breaks my heart.”

“I hate that for him.”

“His silence is almost worse. Because that means he doesn’t expect his father to be there for him.” Thinking about my ex and how his inaction hurt Hunter never failed to anger me. I tried not to think about it because it got me too worked up.

“I get that Seth has daddy issues, but couldn’t he vow to be the opposite of his father? Instead of opting out of fatherhood entirely?”

“I’ve given up on trying to understand him.” I’d talked it out in therapy. I didn’t have control of him or the situation, so I had to let go.

“Just because your ex is an ass doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Maybe if you had a man in your life, Seth would be forced to step up.”

“I’m not dating someone to force Seth to be a better dad.” I could feel the familiar anger bubbling up inside.

“That’s not what I’m saying. If you were happy—” she started, then stopped like she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say.

“I am happy. I have Hunter and my business. The partnership with Gia has been amazing.” It was the first time I’d truly been excited for the future. If I was honest with myself, I’d have to acknowledge I’d felt something in that hotel room. I’d seen a glimpse of what life could really be like, but I didn’t trust it.

“I know. I just want more for you.”

I covered her hand with mine. “Just because you found Ben doesn’t mean we’re destined to experience the same thing.”

Brooke and Ben got off to a rocky start. They’d been childhood rivals and enemies. When he moved back to town, he opened a coffee shop to compete with hers. At some point, the angst turned into passion.

Her shoulders drooped. “Is it so wrong I want that for you?”

“It’s not.” I ate quietly for a few seconds, taking in what Brooke was saying. She wanted me to be happy. I’d just have to do a better job of showing her I already was content with my life. That I didn’t need or want anything else.

Feet bounded up the steps.

Brooke rolled her eyes. “You watch—they’re going to want more food even though I just fed them.”

Hunter burst through the doorway, the door bouncing off the wall. “What’s to eat? I’m starving.”

“Easy on the door,” I reminded him.

“You want me to re-heat dinner?” Brooke asked Hunter.

At Hunter’s nod, Brooke moved to get the food out of the fridge again. I should probably help her, but I was still eating, and my feet hurt from running around in heels all day.

Ben and his daughter emerged more slowly. Cammie climbed into the chair next to me, and Ben rested a hip against the counter. “How was the wedding?”

I smiled easily at him. “Went off without a hitch. That’s all we can ask for.”

Cammie pulled a Halloween search-a-word book and a pencil from a basket in the middle of the table.

“That’s good,” Ben said, sitting next to Cammie to look at the word list.

“Thanks for watching Hunter,” I said. I hadn’t minded leaving Hunter with my sister, but now, she lived in this beautiful new house with Ben and his daughter, Cammie, and it felt more like an intrusion.

Ben frowned. “Hunter’s always welcome here. He’s family.”

“Hunter’s the best.” Cammie frowned. “I just wish I could play on his team.”

Ben reached over to ruffle her hair. “We talked about this. It’s boys only. There’s a girls’ travel team you can try out for this summer.”

“But that’s softball. I play baseball,” Cammie said stubbornly.

“I don’t know of any girls’ travel baseball teams,” Ben said.

Cammie’s tongue perched between her lips as she focused on the search-a-word. “Help me find cauldron.”

“Look for the O. That makes it easier to find,” Ben said.

“Were you good?” I asked Hunter as he sat next to me with a heaping plate of chicken and mashed potatoes.

Hunter grunted. “I’m always good.”

He loved coming there because he didn’t have a sibling. He complained our house was boring and too quiet. It made me feel guiltier that not only didn’t he have an involved father, but he also didn’t have a sibling.

Our reality was different than most of his friends’ families, and I hated that for him.

Ben looked from Hunter to me. “He’s talking nonstop about his baseball coach. Nick, is it?”

“He seems to look up to him because he knows so much about baseball. He wants the kids to learn the fundamentals and have fun.”

“That’s good. A good coach can make all the difference.”

“I’ve heard horror stories about other travel teams. Kids feeling pressured about losing their position, stomach aches, and stress. I don’t want him to have that experience.”

Ben tapped his fingers on the table. “This guy sounds good. You want me to come to the first practice?”

“You can come. I’m getting there early to do a bullpen,” Hunter said.

Ben raised a brow.

“Apparently, the pitchers and catchers warm up ahead of time. Nick wants to show them their bullpen routine tomorrow,” I explained.

“I’ll be there,” Ben said.

“We should all go. It’ll be fun,” Brooke said.

“It’s practice. Not a game,” I reminded them.

Everyone ignored me like I hadn’t just spoken. They wanted to support me, and I appreciated it.

My heart warmed toward Ben even more. He’d included Hunter in his life when he moved back to Annapolis and started seeing Brooke. Brooke and Ben reconnected because Hunter and Cammie were on the same baseball rec team.

“Will it interfere with school?” Brooke asked.

“It doesn’t sound like it. The season is in the spring. Fall is just practice and scrimmages. If he doesn’t do his schoolwork, then he can’t go to practices.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Hunter said.

“As long as you’re doing your homework and getting decent grades,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hunter said, shoveling a huge portion of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

I didn’t push because I knew he was motivated to stay on the team. He wouldn’t do anything to mess it up.

“He acts like I didn’t just feed him dinner,” Brooke mumbled when she placed a glass of ice water in front of him.

“Will you throw the ball with me?” Cammie asked Ben.

“You know it,” Ben said.

I took a deep breath, enjoying being surrounded by my family. I was happy that Brooke reconnected with Ben, put aside their differences, and found common ground.

We used to connect with our mutual distrust of men, but now, she was happy. She was open to possibilities and thought I could have what she had. I didn’t have the heart to tell her a single mom dating was different than a single dad. Some guys wanted nothing to do with kids.

I helped Brooke clean up again, and we went outside to sit on the back porch.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

I tensed because it sounded serious.

She turned, so she could face me. “I heard some rumors around town about Nick.”

My stomach sunk. “What did you hear?”

Brooke leaned close and lowered her voice, “They’re saying Brody isn’t his son.”

“What?” I racked my brain for any clue I’d missed. “I guess he never said. I just assumed.”

“Apparently, Brody’s his nephew.”

“Where are his parents?”

“No one knows anything about the mom, just that she’s out of the picture. His dad’s in jail. He’s the one responsible for the burglaries around town.”

I leaned forward. “I can’t even process what you’re saying. You’re saying that Nick’s brother is in jail?”

Brooke nodded, looking miserable. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. But I thought you should know if Hunter’s going to be spending a lot of time with him.”

“Is that why Ben wants to come to his first practice?”

“Ben’s worried for you, but he would go regardless.”

I couldn’t even feel good about that statement because I was in shock over what she’d said about Brody’s dad. “So he moved here to take care of Brody.”

He was a good guy. He probably wasn’t anything like his brother.

“That’s my understanding. But everyone thinks his dad will go away for a while.”

“So, Nick’s going to raise his nephew?” I asked, thinking out loud.

“Ethan said he’s always stepped in, and he loves him. He ensures he has whatever he needs. Clothes. Sports gear. Money for field trips.”

I leaned my head back. “So, he’s nothing like his brother.”

“Not from what Ethan said. But he’s worried the rest of the community won’t feel the same.”

“I wonder if the other parents know.” When we introduced ourselves, we mentioned where we lived, and not everyone was local.

“I don’t know.”

“Should I be worried?” Nick didn’t seem like a criminal. From what he’d said, he worked in the accounting field, and he seemed smart and reliable.

“Just keep an eye on the situation.”

I’d slept with him knowing nothing about his history, but I hadn’t felt unsafe when I was with him. I’d felt the opposite. Protected. Cared for even.

“Ethan vouches for him. That must mean something.”

It was possible for families to have a black sheep. Someone who didn’t fit in. Who was different than the rest. I’d have to ask Nick about his family without making it seem like I was snooping.

A little while later, I took Hunter home, and he immediately ran out back to throw the ball against the pitch back. I went into my office and edited some pictures. I worked whenever I could, sneaking in time when he was preoccupied.

I always felt guilty about taking the time, but I didn’t have a choice. When you owned a business, you were always working. There was always something to do.

For a second, I imagined what it would be like to be with someone like Ben or even Nick. Both were responsible and loved their kids. I closed my eyes and envisioned a man cooking dinner, throwing the ball with Hunter while I got some work done. I wouldn’t feel the guilt, the worry, the stress. I’d have someone to share the responsibility.

It felt good. I wanted it. I just wasn’t sure I’d ever find it.