Chapter 5

Five

Aria

I needed the money. That’s what I kept telling myself as I drove over to Finn’s house for the second night in a row. There was no other reason for me to babysit his adorable little girl.

As soon as I walked inside their house last night, I’d been enraptured by the two of them. I couldn’t get over the fact that Finn had made ratatouille because it was his daughter’s favorite movie. It was sweet, heartwarming, and sexy as all get-out.

The only saving grace in this situation was that he’d be working while I watched his daughter. I wouldn’t have to watch him make dinner and interact with his little girl. She’d be asleep before he came home.

That had my heart pitter-pattering for a different reason. I’d be alone with Finn.

At work, where weddings were our focus, we tended to butt heads, but at his house, it was a different story. I saw the real him, the one who worked hard to support his daughter and cooked her things outside of his comfort zone because she wanted him to.

When I knocked on the door, I heard the now-familiar racing of feet over the wood floors before the door was wrenched open.

“You’re here!” Paisley grabbed my hand and pulled me inside before I could greet her.

“Let Aria get her bearings before you drag her all over the house,” Finn called from upstairs.

Was he getting ready for his gig? What did that entail? A shower, shave gel, and a black T-shirt with ripped jeans? My mind was running rampant, and I was more than a little jealous of the women who’d get to hear him play tonight. They’d get the benefit of his music and his gorgeous face.

Life was so unfair sometimes. I felt a little like Cinderella staying home from the ball to clean while her stepsisters had all the fun. If I was honest with myself, I’d always felt like that. I didn’t do activities in school because I needed to be available to babysit and bring in as much extra cash as I could.

Despite what my parents said, they needed the money. It went toward groceries and field trip money.

Paisley stopped in front of a huge dollhouse I hadn’t noticed the night before. It must have been four feet high and just as wide. It was one of those fancy Victorians that someone would put together for you. I always imagined it would be a father or a grandfather painstakingly putting up the walls and attaching the roof.

“This is gorgeous.” I reached out a hand to touch the shingles. They were individual, just like I’d always imagined.

“Daddy made it for me.”

My heart contracted. “Of course, he did.”

Finn came down the steps in the exact outfit I’d imagined him in. Black band T-shirt. Check. Ripped jeans slung low on his hips. Check. Effortlessly scuffed boots. Check. Smelling of soap and aftershave. Check. Check.

My pulse was racing, and my hands were sweaty as he came to a stop in the doorway to the living room, a slow smile spreading over his face. “You showing her your dollhouse?” The question was so clearly directed at Paisley, but I wanted to answer him in the worst way. I wanted him to notice me. To be getting ready to go out on a date with me.

“Aria loves it.”

“Of course, she does,” Finn said, shooting that electrifying smile in my direction.

I forced myself to look away before my entire body lit up from his attention. “She said you made it.”

Finn shrugged like it was no big deal. “She asked for a dollhouse.” Then he moved toward the kitchen, presumably to do whatever he needed to before he left for the night.

Like it wasn’t expensive or something only privileged kids had. “You’re so lucky, Paisley.”

She looked up at me like I was silly. “You can play with it too.”

“I’d love that.” We sat next to each other as she showed me her dolls, naming them one by one.

“I’m going to head out,” Finn said a short while later.

“Have a good time,” I said to him, unsure what you were supposed to say to someone who was performing.

He flashed that megawatt smile again, and everything inside me melted. “I definitely will. You have my number, and I put her mother Naomi’s phone number on the fridge.”

“Hopefully, I won’t need to call. We’ll play, eat dinner, and get ready for bed. Easy peasy.”

Finn growled as he lifted Paisley into his arms, blowing raspberries on her neck. She squealed and giggled. When he finally put her down again, he said, “That’s what you think. This one can be a bear when it’s bedtime.”

“Kids are usually more cooperative with me.” Parents always asked how I managed when they struggled with things like food and bedtime. I assumed it was the new person effect. They never listened to their parents but did listen to their teachers.

Finn squatted down to Paisley’s level to give her a hug and a kiss. “Be good for Aria, okay, baby girl?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m always good.”

“Sure, you are,” Finn said, making me think that wasn’t the case. “But let’s be extra good, okay?”

Paisley nodded, and he kissed her one more time.

I stood and followed him to the door, where his guitar case rested against the wall.

“Don’t worry about anything. We’ll be fine.”

He turned, running a hand through his hair. “I called your references, and they all had glowing reports about you.”

I remained silent because I’d had a lot of clients just from word-of-mouth referrals. Other teenage girls were too busy with sports, jobs, and boys to be reliable.

“They all agreed that you’re great with kids. I can’t ask for anything else.” His deep voice wrapped around my shoulders like a blanket.

“Thanks for the opportunity.” Most of the other kids didn’t need sitters anymore, and I was a little too old to be finding babysitting jobs. Most parents wanted a teenager so they could pay less.

He lifted the guitar case and opened the door. “You’re saving me.”

Something about those few words sent my heart soaring. I wanted to do far more than watch his daughter.

Then he closed the door, leaving me alone with his daughter, in his house, which smelled like him. I took a deep breath and got back to my job.

We played house for a little while before I got dinner ready. Finn had left a note out about what was in the fridge and pantry. After asking Paisley what she wanted, I cooked spaghetti, enlisting her help.

She was interested and engaged the entire time. She was a joy to be around, intelligent and thoughtful.

While the noodles boiled, I asked her if she had any homework to complete, and she ran toward the front door where her book bag hung on a hook. She returned with her worksheets and sat on the island stool.

I let her work independently unless she had questions. She completed it easily and returned the finished work to her book bag.

As I drained the noodles, I asked, “Does your dad make your lunch the night before?”

She shook her head. “The bread gets soggy when you do that.”

“Can’t have that,” I said with a smile. “Do you like listening to your daddy play guitar?”

Her face fell. “I wish he’d teach me.”

“He wants to, but he said it’s hard for your little fingers. You might have to wait a couple of years yet.”

Paisley sighed, long and hard. “I know. But I don’t like it.”

“Waiting is hard.”

“What are you waiting for?” Paisley asked, her eyes wide.

“I’ve always wanted to go to college,” I said without thinking about my answer. It was the truth, even though I knew it was impractical to hold on to it.

“Why don’t you?” she asked as I spooned marinara sauce over her noodles and placed the bowl in front of her.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Daddy said if I get good grades, I’ll get into a good school. College was the best four years of his life.”

“He said that?” I asked, eager to know more.

“Oh yeah. He learned all the instruments and played for fun.”

“That is a sweet gig.”

Paisley wrapped the noodles around her fork. “What did you want to study?”

I poured a second serving into another bowl. “I wanted to be a teacher.”

“I don’t see why you couldn’t,” she said as she sucked in a noddle.

“It’s very expensive, and I didn’t have the money when I graduated from high school.”

Paisley sighed. “Daddy always says things are expensive.”

“He’s right about that.”

“Could you go now that you have a job?”

“Maybe. If I saved up for a long time.” But then I wouldn’t get the apartment I wanted, and I couldn’t support Iris in her dreams. “I’m helping my sister go, and that’s enough for me.”

“That’s so nice.”

“I love my sister and want the best for her. I want her to have everything I didn’t.” That was normally the viewpoint of a parent, but I’d always been in charge of her since my parents worked so much. I was protective of her.

“Daddy always says we shouldn’t give up on our dreams.”

“Your daddy is super smart.” And sexy and amazing, if only he didn’t believe that relationships were a waste of time. One thing was certain: No matter how attractive I found him, I wanted a man who wasn’t afraid of commitment.

I refocused on his daughter and said, “Let’s clean up and then get ready for bed.” The note Finn had left said bedtime was eight o’clock, and I intended to follow his instructions. I didn’t need to give him any reason to fire me.

Paisley grumbled, but she helped me rinse the dishes before placing them into the dishwasher. I’d hand-wash the pots after she went to bed. I knew all parents appreciated it when the babysitter cleaned up, so I made a point to put toys away, wash any dirty dishes, and fold laundry. My motto was to make myself invaluable and don’t give anyone a reason to fire me.

I ignored the voice in the back of my head that said I was good just as I was, and I shouldn’t have to prove myself. That was the way of the world, and I just needed to get on with it.

I coaxed Paisley into her shower with promises of books, then supervised her tooth brushing before settling on her bed. She had a double bed with a purple canopy. It was a true princess bed, and I was positive Finn indulged her either because she was his only child or because he only saw her every other week.

There was nothing wrong with giving your child everything, but the inner child inside of me was a little bit jealous. One day, I’d have the money to spoil the little girl inside me.

I read Paisley three picture books before tucking her into bed and turning out the light. I sat on the stairs until I was sure she was asleep, then I texted Finn that she was tucked in and out like a light. Then I made my way downstairs to wash the pots and tidy the dollhouse.

With nothing to do, I turned on the TV. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, the front door was opening.

It shut with a click before I managed to rouse myself from the cushion. Blinking my eyes open, I said, “Sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s late.”

The clock on the wall said midnight. I hadn’t asked him what time he would be home. Now I was wondering if I was going to be any good at work tomorrow. I liked to get there earlier than Gia, and she came in at seven.

I stood, wobbling a bit before he took two large steps to cross the room and stabilize me. “I’d better get home. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Are you sure this isn’t too much for you? Do you work a nine-to-five at Gia’s office?”

I smiled. “Something like that.”

“Let me walk you out.”

I cleared the sleep out of my throat and gathered my things. “We ate spaghetti. I left a plate in the fridge. She went to sleep right away.”

“Good.”

“I told you she wouldn’t be a problem,” I said when we arrived at my car. “You didn’t have to walk me out.”

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive home?”

“Of course.” Sleeping on parents’ couches was nothing new. Except I wasn’t a kid anymore, and now I had two jobs.

He pressed a stack of bills into my hand.

“Oh, you don’t have to pay me each day. You can do it weekly or whatever.”

“It’s just easier to pay you this way, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.” I’d wait to count the bills. We hadn’t discussed a wage, and that might have been a mistake. I was so distracted by him; I hadn’t even thought of it.

“If it’s not enough, let me know. I want to make this worth your while.” Then his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip. I swayed slightly, and he caught me. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

Embarrassed, I stepped back. “Absolutely. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

I got into my car and backed up without looking to see if he was watching me. I knew he was. He was that kind of guy.

Nothing about him added up. His not wanting a relationship, even if his parents were divorced many times over, didn’t jibe with the rest of his personality. Would he be different if his parents had stayed married to each other?

If he’d been raised by my parents, would he believe in love? Did it even matter? I couldn’t date the father of the girl I was babysitting. Besides, Gia had her own set of rules I wouldn’t break.

My future depended on me walking a straight line in this situation. On one end, there was an angel telling me to stay the course, and at the other, a devil was reminding me how much I wanted to taste Finn, and that I should go for it.

When I got home, there was a group of rowdy teenagers in the parking lot, like usual. Thankfully, they were at the other end, and I quickly crossed the parking lot to my apartment, unlocked it, and slipped inside. I didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until I was safely inside.

Coming home late at night wasn’t a good idea. I squeezed my eyes shut against the fear. When I felt less shaky, I got dressed and climbed into bed. The adrenaline from the parking lot was still in my system, and I wasn’t sure I’d easily fall asleep.

I grabbed my phone to see a missed message. It was Finn, asking if I’d made it home okay. I tried not to let those words affect me, but they did. I quickly texted back that I was in bed.

It was sweet that Finn cared about my safety. My parents needed to leave us alone to work. It was a necessity. They didn’t have the luxury of protecting us in the same way as other parents. I was forced to grow up early.

I wasn’t angry at them. It was just our reality. Our parents did the best they could. If they’d had more money and time, I was positive my experience would have been similar to Finn’s. But it wasn’t, and there was zero chance he’d change his mind about commitment and fall for me.

You couldn’t blame a girl for holding out hope. But thinking you could change a guy was a waste of time. Finn had always been clear about who he was, and I needed to remember that.