Chapter 3

Three

Aria

F inn said he had a child, but it hadn’t prepared me for seeing him with her. He was sexy as all get-out when he interacted with her. It was a simple interaction between a father and daughter, but they were sweet together.

When Paisley had asked me to take her to the arts and crafts table, I knew I was a goner. She took my hand and led me over, and my heart tumbled around in my chest cavity. I was on uneven ground, and I needed to right myself before Finn and Ireland joined us.

I tried to focus on Paisley’s questions as she painted eyes on her small pumpkin, but it was difficult. My mind was racing with all the possibilities of what Ireland and Finn could possibly be discussing.

They were so serious, and I’d just revealed more information about my past than I ever did with anyone. In school, I was teased mercilessly for living in a trailer and receiving free meals, and I thought I had gotten over all of that.

I wanted Gia and my new friends to see me as an equal, not someone who needed charity. I’d come a long way. I could afford my apartment and groceries, but things were tight when I gave money to my sister and parents.

I was always worried about unexpected bills too. Living in fear about the money running out was a real concern. It was a habit I wanted to break. But everything took time.

I needed to focus on doing the best job I could. I shouldn’t be distracted by sexy dads and their adorable little girls.

“You think I should give him hair?”

I nodded solemnly. “He could use a healthy head of hair.”

Paisley dipped her brush into the black paint and used broad strokes to fill in the hair on the top of the pumpkin.

“What are you making?” Ireland said as she joined us, sitting next to Paisley.

“A pumpkin. You like his hair?” Paisley asked as she turned it with her hand on the stem.

“It’s great.”

Finn stood at the end of the table, looking down at us. It made me a little uncomfortable. When Paisley was finished with her pumpkin, she placed it on the long table at the back with her name so she could pick it up at the end of the day.

“I’m starving,” Paisley declared as soon as we exited the tent.

Finn took her hand and led us to the food tents.

“Are you having a good time?” Ireland asked.

“Definitely.” It was a gorgeous day, but I hadn’t expected to run into Finn and his daughter. I wondered if being friends with Ireland meant I’d be seeing more of him.

“You don’t mind hanging out with my brother and niece?”

“Of course not. They’re great.” That wasn’t exactly the truth. Paisley was great, and it was eye-opening to see her with Finn, but we didn’t get along. His sister didn’t need to know that, though.

Ireland linked her arm with mine. “That’s good because I spend a lot of time with them.”

The implication was clear—if I was going to be friends with Ireland, I’d be seeing Finn and Paisley too. I needed to find a way to get along with him because we were going to be seeing a lot of each other.

We ate at the picnic tables. Ireland insisted on getting a little of everything to sample and placed it on the picnic table for us to share. When I offered to contribute, Ireland told me to get the drinks. I took everyone’s order and headed to the closest tent to get the drinks.

Finn appeared at my side. “I thought you could use some help.”

“I could have gotten a drink carrier,” I said, wanting a moment to myself.

“What if they don’t have one? You know how tiny festivals like this are. I went to one last year, and they were out of straws. You might not think that was a big deal, but it was to a five-year-old.”

I smiled, remembering how my sister, Iris, was at that age. “Was it the end of the world?”

Finn’s eyes widened. “It sounds like you know kids.”

“I told you I took care of my sister and babysat a lot.” I didn’t do it just for the money. I loved kids. I always thought I’d be a teacher, but there was zero money for me to go to college. Loans were out of the question because I wouldn’t put myself into debt.

I felt his gaze on the side of my face.

“I still babysit. It’s extra money. I’m saving up to move into a bigger place.”

“So you said.” He cleared his throat as we moved up in line. “Listen, if you’re serious about babysitting on the side, I could always use help. I play gigs occasionally at bars on Thursday and Friday nights. You’d just be feeding her dinner and getting her ready for bed. Would you be interested in something like that?”

“You don’t even know me or particularly like me,” I said, marveling a little at my uncharacteristic bluntness.

“I wouldn’t say that.” His palm landed on my back, the heat of it searing through the thin sundress material, and his voice rumbled through my chest. For some reason, my nipples hardened at the contact. I was acutely aware of how close he stood in proximity to my body and his intoxicating smell, a blend of spice and man.

Then I thought about how convenient it would be to watch his daughter for a few hours and get some extra money. I’d contemplated picking up a serving job, but I’d had difficulty finding jobs in town. Unlike my sister, I’d never worked at a restaurant, and they wanted prior experience. “How do you know I’d be any good at it?”

“You said you babysat a lot and still do. Plus, I’ve seen you with Paisley. If it would make you feel better, you could come over and play with her, get to know her and me better. See if it would be a good fit.”

“All right,” I said just as the person at the booth asked if he could help us.

Finn beamed at me before giving him our drink order and then pulled out a twenty to pay.

“I told Ireland I’d get the drinks,” I protested as the worker took it from him.

“Don’t worry about it.”

I bit my lip. It wouldn’t look good to protest too much. I appreciated his help, but I also wanted to pay my own way.

“You can get dessert,” Finn said to me as the man gathered our drinks and placed them on the counter in front of us.

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

Finn handed me one fountain drink and gathered the rest in his arms. “Does the deal include watching Paisley?”

I had a flash of uncertainty when I wondered if he’d be hooking up with groupies after the gigs were done, but then I remembered it was none of my business. I needed to focus on my priorities and not be distracted by a man.

“Paisley likes you. Will you give it a try for her?”

“Fine.”

Finn smiled and winked. “Perfect. Maybe you could come over one evening this week and get to know us.”

I flushed all over, my body feeling hot and tingly as we continued walking toward the table. We set the drinks down, and I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. There was no mistaking the attraction I felt to him. Would I be able to ignore it to watch his daughter?

I rationalized to myself that he wouldn’t even be there. I’d only need to see him when I arrived and left. There’d be no late-night discussions or heart-to-hearts. It was extra money.

I pushed the deal out of my mind and focused on eating. They chatted about Paisley’s school and the upcoming talent show.

After lunch, we headed to the game tents. Paisley was vibrating with excitement. “Can we do this one?”

It was a ring toss. I vaguely remembered the stories about these games being rigged, but I was sure it was still fun.

“I want the blue bear.” Paisley pointed to one of the stuffed animals pinned to the wall.

“I’ll get that for you,” Finn said, and my heart contracted. He was so confident and sweet, and I knew in that moment, he’d do anything for his daughter.

We watched as the lady handed Finn four rings, and he threw them, one by one, narrowly missing the ducks each time.

“Let’s do it too. If there’s three of us going for it, one of us will get the bear, right?” Ireland asked, taking a step toward the lady.

“I hope so,” I said to Ireland, not voicing my concerns that none of us would be able to win it, and Paisley would be disappointed.

We each tried and missed, then got back in line to do it again. Each time, Paisley’s face fell more.

“Let’s try a different game,” Finn said, guiding her to a ball toss in the neighboring tent. We had more fun with this one, getting a few baskets but not what we needed to win a prize. I could tell Finn was getting a little frustrated that he couldn’t win his daughter a stuffed animal.

“Who wants ice cream?” I asked when we passed the booth, hoping to distract Paisley with a treat. When our cones were ready, I passed them to each person, and we found a shaded spot to eat.

It was a great day. I’d enjoyed myself, even if things with Finn had been tense in the past. They talked about what they wanted to do next, but when I glanced at the time, I realized how late it was. “I need to go to my parents’ house.”

“You guys do a family dinner night?” Ireland asked.

“Yeah.” I bought groceries and brought them to my parents’ house. I wanted to make sure they had enough. They’d never ask me to do it; it was just something I’d gotten into the habit of doing when I moved out. I’d felt a lot of guilt for moving out and wanted to contribute in some way.

Ireland hugged me. “Thank you for coming.”

“I had fun.”

I exchanged numbers with Finn, and he said to text which evening I’d be available to come over. On the way to my parents’, I stopped for groceries, getting the things they usually didn’t—fruits and veggies, meats, and a few treats they didn’t allow themselves to have.

The farther I drove away from the Harvest Festival, the more like a fraud I felt. I hid my past from them because I was ashamed. Would they think differently of me if they knew?

I didn’t think they would, but I wanted to be someone new. Not the girl who needed clothes from a thrift shop or food stamps to eat. I wanted to be seen as an independent and successful woman who had everything together. Until that was my reality, they didn’t need to know where I’d come from.

When I got the job with Gia, I vowed to put my best foot forward. I was very conscious of how I looked and dressed. I’d heard the adage, dress for the job you want , and I took it seriously. I shopped at thrift stores to find brand-name clothes that would last. I wanted an amazing job that supported me, good friends, and a home that was safe and secure.

When I pulled down the familiar lane to the trailer park, my palms grew sweaty. Why did I think I could escape from this? This was who I was. There was a part of me that thought I should be proud of how far I’d come, but then I’d look at my current apartment and think it wasn’t far enough.

I wanted to get Iris and my parents out of the trailer. Without a college education, it was unlikely I’d be able to afford to move them to a new house. But I dreamt about it all the time.

I parked in front of their trailer, which had seen better days. The paint was chipping, the roof sagged, and the landscaping could use a face-lift. The small shed that Dad used for tools and the lawnmower had caved in during a storm and had never been fixed. My dad said he could fix it himself but never did.

I sighed as I pulled the groceries out of the trunk of my used car.

“Hey, sis.”

I smiled and returned Iris’s hug. “You’re not working tonight?”

Her shoulders lowered. “The restaurant isn’t busy on Sunday evenings, so they sent me home.”

“Did you explain that you need the hours and that you were scheduled to work?”

Iris shrugged. “Apparently, they’re allowed to do it.”

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled at me as she grabbed a few of the plastic bags. “That’s okay. I get to see you for once.”

“You can stop by my place at any time.”

She looked away. “You know it’s hard with the bus schedule.”

“You need a car.” One more thing I wished I could help her with.

“I need a lot of things,” Iris said good-naturedly.

That was one thing we had in common. We never let our circumstances get us down. We just picked ourselves up and moved on. The only difference was that Iris didn’t see herself getting out. I had.

“I’ll help with whatever I can,” I said as I followed her into the house.

“I know you will, but I’ll be okay.”

Iris resisted my help more so than my parents. But then, what she needed was harder to give. I couldn’t just solve her problems by dropping off some food. She needed money for college courses, which were expensive.

“You could probably move to a nicer place if you weren’t always helping us out,” Iris said as she placed the bags on the counter.

“I like helping you.”

“You should help yourself first. You wear nice clothes but live in that dump.” She’d helped me move in.

“I could say the same for you.”

Iris shrugged. “I never minded living here as much as you.”

Mom came out of the bedroom. “Well, look who stopped by.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “It shouldn’t be a surprise. She stops by every Sunday.”

Mom hugged me tightly. “And we appreciate it.”

My parents were proud, but they never complained about the food I brought. I’m sure it was related to being worried about not having enough.

“Do you want to cook something together?” I asked them.

We settled on a simple baked chicken with potatoes and veggies. I always felt better when I went home after having filled their fridge and their bellies.

“How’s your new job going?” Mom asked when the food was on the table and we were digging in.

“It’s great. I love it.”

“You always loved weddings.”

“It’s something being able to bring these brides’ dreams to life.”

“Are you the one planning it, or are you just getting coffee?” Dad asked, a bit more skeptical about my career choice.

“I’m the assistant. I usually work with the owner, getting her whatever she needs. But my goal is to be promoted and plan my own weddings.” Maybe even go out on my own. My style was a little different than Gia’s. She was amazing at organization and professionalism, but I loved listening to every detail the bride wanted and finding a way to make it happen within her budget.

As part of my portfolio at my interview, I showed her designs I’d drawn. I’d told her I wanted to draw the bride’s and groom’s requests at the consultation so they could see what we envisioned for them. Gia had said what I brought to the table was special. I just hoped she’d give me a chance to shine.

Mom patted my hand. “This one has a good head on her shoulders. I’m sure she has a plan to get that promotion.”

“I do. I’m going to work really hard and prove myself to Gia.”

“I’m sure you will, sis,” Iris said.

“What are your plans?” I asked Iris. She was usually working on the weekends, so I didn’t get to see her as much as I wanted to.

Iris played with her food before speaking. “I signed up for a class at the community college.”

“Why would you do that? I thought you were going to wait until you had the money to go full time?” Dad asked.

I thought that excuse was just a barrier that meant Iris would never go, and I’d told her as much.

“I think this is a step I need to take that will push me in the right direction. I need to do this.”

“What class are you taking?” I asked her.

“My advisor said to take the standard classes and get them out of the way. I signed up for English 101.”

I couldn’t stop myself from reaching over and hugging her. “I’m so excited for you.”

In another world, I’d have already finished college and would be teaching in a school. But that wasn’t possible.

“Why don’t you go? You keep pushing me, but you’re the one who always talked about going to college.”

I had. I’d been so optimistic that I’d find a way. There’d even been a teacher and a counselor who encouraged me in high school, but when I saw the price tag for school, I couldn’t bring myself to apply. I couldn’t imagine owing that much money.

I couldn’t trust that I’d get a job out of college and be able to pay the astronomical loans back, and the interest rate scared me. I’d read all the horror stories online about not being able to pay them back, and they weren’t forgiven in bankruptcy either. Student loans felt like an albatross I didn’t want to put around my neck.

“You don’t need to go to college,” Dad grumbled.

Dad didn’t expect much out of life. He thought a consistent paycheck and health insurance were the holy grail. And I got it, growing up without made him appreciative of the little things. But I’d always dreamed bigger, and it probably rubbed off on Iris.

“Well, I’m proud of you. The first one of us to go to college.” Mom leaned over to hug Iris, and I couldn’t help but think I wanted to be the first to go to school. I knew the statistics that showed if you graduated from college, you were less likely to be in poverty. But the climb out was so steep. I just couldn’t see a way out.

When Mom let her go, I hugged her as well. “I’m proud of you too. Let me know if you need anything. Money for books. Whatever you need.”

“I appreciate that, but I can cover books for one class. Besides, it’s a little cheaper now that most books are electronic.”

“You don’t buy physical books anymore?” I asked her.

“Nope.” We talked more about the campus and activities she might want to get involved in.

I was a little sad for myself, but I was still happy for her. One of us would get to experience college.

“Are you dating at all?” Mom asked when we were cleaning up.

“I’m focused on my new job at the moment.”

“You can focus on both.”

“I’ve already proven that I can’t.” I got caught up in my last relationship. I stayed with Raymond for too long. Other job opportunities had come up, but I didn’t want to move to the next town and away from my boyfriend. He wanted to spend time with me, and I lost sight of my goals. I lost focus, and it wouldn’t happen again.

“You need to learn how to balance everything.”

“For the time being, I’m focused on myself and my family.”

Mom patted my hand. “I can’t fault you for that. But I want you to be happy. I know how badly you wanted to go to college, and now your sister’s going.”

“I’m thrilled for her. I promise. Don’t feel bad for me. I love my job, and I have a feeling it’s going to lead to something amazing.” Good things were happening. I could feel it. Not just for Iris, but for me too.

When Finn’s face popped into my consciousness, I pushed it right back out. He wasn’t an opportunity; he was one more distraction I didn’t need.