Chapter 4

Four

Gia

I gripped the towel tighter to my body as Silas turned off the jets and covered the hot tub. I was trembling. I told myself it was from the contrast between the hot water to the cool air, but I think it had everything to do with what we’d just shared in that hot tub. I’d completely let go, lost myself in the moment, and hadn’t insisted on using a condom. I’d never done anything so risky. I was ashamed and freaked out.

“I’m going to use the restroom,” I said to him, opening the door and slipping inside. I just needed a few minutes to pull myself back together.

I dried off with the towel, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. When I’d thoroughly scrubbed my skin, I realized I’d forgotten my clothes.

I felt bare, not just physically but emotionally too. I’d felt something in that hot tub that was more than a physical release, and it was scary. I couldn’t lose anything to Silas Sharpe, especially my heart.

This was supposed to be a onetime thing. A release of tension. Not the start of something more. The idea of a relationship with Silas was ludicrous. He didn’t want one, and neither did I.

I didn’t have the time or the interest, but my heart was pounding out of my chest.

I had a feeling Silas wanted me to stay the night, probably for another round, but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. I wouldn’t survive sex in his bed. It was too intimate. Too involved for what we were.

People had one-night stands at weddings. It was normal. That’s how Abby and Nick met. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep with a stranger.

I was such an idiot. I drew in a shaky breath and startled when there was a knock on the door. “Yes?”

“I have clothes for you.”

I wrapped the damp towel around my body and knotted it before opening the door a few inches.

In his hands, Silas held a T-shirt and shorts.

“That’s not my dress.” My mind was racing with what it meant.

“I figured you’d want to be more comfortable.” Then he arched a brow. “You are staying the night, aren’t you?”

I chewed my lip. “I have a hotel room.”

He shoved the stack of clothes into my hands. “You won’t be needing it. Stay here.”

There was a hint of a challenge in his eyes I couldn’t ignore. “Fine.”

He smiled cockily, then walked away to give me privacy. I let the towel fall to the floor and drew the shirt over my head and pulled on the shorts. Both were too big for me, but they were soft and comfortable. I had to admit it was better than putting on a fancy dress.

I combed my hair with my fingers and took a few deep breaths before opening the door.

Silas moved toward me and held out his hand. “I want to show you something.”

I bit back a smart comment because he seemed genuine and placed my hand in his. He led me through the penthouse to the bedroom, where a fire burned in a fireplace. One wall had floor-to-ceiling windows. The moon reflected off the surface of the water.

“I wanted to show you the view.”

“It’s gorgeous. I’ve read that it’s better for your health to be near the water every day.”

“I can attest to that,” Silas said as he drew down the covers and lay down. Then he patted the bed next to him. “Lie down.”

I sat stiffly on the bed, noting my dress, shoes, and purse resting neatly on a chair by the door. Would it be awkward to leave now? Or should I sneak out in the middle of the night?

“Please,” Silas said, and I couldn’t deny him or the draw of the bed. I lay down next to him, and Silas rolled so that he was propped up on one elbow. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t either.”

“You look perfect in my bed. Like you were always meant to be here.”

My skin heated. “Do you know how ridiculous you sound?”

“Shhh. Let me.” He leaned down and touched his lips to mine, kissing me softly, his hand resting on my thigh.

Just as the threads of desire wrapped around me again, he withdrew. “Get some rest. You must be tired after your day of sleuthing.”

My lips twitched as he settled next to me, his arm banded around my waist. I turned to face the windows, and Silas adjusted, spooning me. I should have pulled away. I should have gotten dressed and left.

The moment was too good for me to leave just yet. I closed my eyes, intending to get up soon, but drifted off.

When I woke later, Silas had rolled away from me, and the moon illuminated the room. Now was my chance. Silas was asleep and couldn’t ask me to stay.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how I hadn’t used a condom with a man I shouldn’t trust.

Was he getting close to me on purpose so that he could gather useful information to build a better business? Would he steal another vendor? My mind was racing with the possibilities.

I needed to be in my house. I needed to be alone. I’d let too many pieces of myself go today, first in that closet, on that balcony, and then in Silas’s bed. Being with him was dangerous for my heart and my business.

I needed to be smart about this. There was no future with Silas Sharpe. Even if it was possible, my family would never accept him. My brothers trusted him as a friend but not with their sister.

I quickly put on my clothes, being quiet so I wouldn’t wake Silas, and then I tiptoed out of the suite, shutting the door quietly behind me. I didn’t want to chance him coming to see me in my room, so I headed toward my car.

My home was my safe place. I never let a man sleep overnight. It felt too intimate. But to be fair, it felt that way in Silas’s bed as well.

When I finally parked in front of my house, I wondered if I was running from Silas or from myself. I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep, so I showered, removing any trace of Silas from my body. I allowed myself a few minutes to remember how it felt to be with him, and then I pushed it down deep.

There wouldn’t be a repeat. I got dressed, not sure what to do with Silas’s clothes, but in the end, I threw them in the hamper. I’d have to get them back to him or throw them out. I couldn’t keep them. I didn’t want any memory of our night together.

But those thoughts felt like a lie because I’d never felt like that with anyone else. Not wanting to examine that too closely, I started the coffeepot and sat at my small table to drink my first cup of the day.

The sun was just rising, and I couldn’t help but think what the view would have been like over the water from Silas’s bedroom.

Had he already woken up and noticed I was gone? Should I have left a note?

I dismissed the idea because I didn’t want to give Silas the impression we were a thing or that we had any potential.

My phone buzzed when I was well into my second cup.

Unknown:

Running?

I didn’t have Silas’s phone number. How had he gotten mine? There was no way it was anyone other than him.

Irritation burned through me. I bet my brothers had given it to him at some point so that he could keep a protective watch over me. Except that had never been Silas’s role in my life.

Angry, I stood up and got ready for work. There was no escape except the one I always found when I was buried in work.

No one would show up to the office on a Sunday, so I’d have the place to myself. No one would pressure me to go home. I didn’t even have to go to family dinner because no one expected me.

I tried after I first opened the business, but my father wanted me to give up on it and work for him. He didn’t understand that there wasn’t anything for me at the restaurant. He already had my three brothers working there. I wanted something that was my own creation, and we didn’t agree on anything.

If I wanted to keep my business, I needed to figure out a way to keep mine profitable.

At work, I got lost in paperwork and spreadsheets, brainstorming possible marketing ideas to bring in more high-dollar clients. What did I have that Silas’s resort didn’t?

It was late before I finally locked up and headed home.

Now that I wasn’t focused on work, that message from Silas taunted me. Was I running?

I was ashamed to admit that he was right. I usually met things or people head-on, but Silas had this way of convincing me to do things I wouldn’t normally do. If I’d stayed, we would have had sex again. And I wouldn’t survive another round with him. How many more rules would I break with him?

Silas Sharpe was dangerous to my equilibrium. I needed to avoid him. I needed to go back to how things were before he went down on me in that closet.

But I couldn’t ignore his message.

At home, I drew a bath and contemplated my options. The obvious choice was to tell him we couldn’t do it again. But my fingers hovered over the keys in indecision.

Why was I hesitant to tell Silas nothing could happen? It felt like a lie. Last night felt too real. As if it was the start of something huge, but there was this wall there, a barrier because nothing could happen between us.

We’d always be competitors. He’d always be my brothers’ best friend. He came to family events and holidays.

We needed to pretend it didn’t happen.

I want to forget it ever happened.

Then I deleted it. It was too honest. Finally, I settled on:

We both know it can’t happen again. It was a one-night thing that my brothers can never find out about.

Then I turned my phone over so I couldn’t see the screen, and I tried to distract myself with the bath. But it was no use. I turned it back over to see if a message had come through.

Whatever you have to tell yourself.

I felt the loss of what might have happened if Silas wasn’t my competitor and a friend of my brothers. But I wasn’t open to relationships with anyone. It wasn’t just him. I liked my life. I loved my business. I didn’t need someone trying to steer my life like my father had.

This isn’t over.

I had to resist immediately typing oh yes it is , like a child because that’s the person that Silas brought out in me. I was bratty and out of control, but that stopped now. I would be cool when it came to Silas. Nothing he did or said would affect me.

Then I remembered how it felt to be completely at his mercy. Bent over with my hands on the railing while he fucked me. It was raw and real and the craziest thing I’d ever done. On some level, I must have trusted him to let go like that. But I pushed that idea away too.

Silas wasn’t a nice guy. He didn’t want me. I was someone he could manipulate to get what he wanted. I had to remember that. Any thoughts of tenderness were a lie.

But that didn’t sit right with me either. I was a mess, and it was all Silas Sharpe’s fault. Everything came down to him, and I was tired of it.

I vowed to put him and his text messages aside. I started by deleting his words and not saving his number as a contact. I didn’t need him or his number. I was a strong, independent woman.

I never got caught up in having amazing sex with a hot guy. But if I was honest with myself, I’d never had amazing sex with a hot guy. Everything was different with Silas. It was as if he could see me, all of me, and it was addicting. It was like he knew who I was and what I needed on a visceral level. I needed control, but I needed to let go too.

Silas’s words that it wasn’t over rang through my consciousness the rest of the night. A small part of me wanted him to come to me, to pursue me. But the rational part of me knew he wasn’t good for me.

He was a onetime indulgence. It would be gluttonous to go back for more.