Chapter 17

Seventeen

Harper

I couldn’t believe that Leo asked me to keep our relationship a secret. We had been doing that, but I thought we were almost to the point where we could tell his parents. How could we have a relationship if we always had to keep it quiet?

I didn’t like the look on Leo’s face. I had a bad feeling that his brothers didn’t want us together at all. It would be easier for the expansion if we weren’t dating.

When we entered the house, Evie ran to Mr. G. and gave him a hug. I kissed Mr. G.’s cheek and carried her into the family room to play a game. When Leo arrived, I stayed away from him. I didn’t want Evie to say anything to give us away, and I was upset about the conversation. I didn’t like the implication that I wasn’t good enough—and might not ever be—for this family.

Maybe we needed to create some distance between me and his family. I’d try harder to find a new apartment, and maybe even a babysitter. I didn’t want to come between Leo and his brothers. I didn’t want to be the reason why he wasn’t happy and successful.

The restaurant was a family business, and it was clear I wasn’t part of it. No matter how much time I’d spent with them over the years, I wasn’t wanted here. I wasn’t good enough for one of their sons.

It was something I always suspected, but to hear it laid out like Leo had hurt. It hurt a lot. It played on every one of my insecurities. That I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t come from the right kind of family. It affected my daughter too. She’d always be less than because of her circumstances.

Tears threatened during dinner, but I held myself together. For the first time, I felt separate from the family. I wasn’t one of them, and I couldn’t forget that. It was weird to not be able to touch or talk to Leo like I’d become accustomed to.

I excused myself early, saying that Evie was tired. I wasn’t even sure it was a good idea to come to Sunday dinner anymore.

“Why didn’t Leo play with me?” Evie asked on the way home, breaking my heart.

“I think he was busy with his brothers. They’re planning something big for the restaurant, and Mr. and Mrs. G. are getting ready for vacation.”

Evie pouted in her seat. “He usually does.”

“I’m sorry, bug.” I hadn’t called her bug in a long time, probably since she was three, but I was feeling especially protective of her. If Leo didn’t think we were good enough for him, maybe I needed to be more careful moving forward.

Evie wouldn’t be able to handle him withholding affection and attention. When I got home, I had a text from Leo asking if Evie was okay, and I responded, saying she was tired and going to bed early.

I didn’t expect to hear from him the rest of the night. Family dinner nights could go late, especially if there was business stuff going on.

After Evie was asleep, there was a soft knock on the door. I got up to answer it, a little surprised to see Leo. “What are you doing here?”

Leo stepped inside, his expression excited and energy pouring off him in waves. “I wanted to tell you what my parents decided.”

“What was that?” I asked, still trying to slow my beating heart and reminding myself we needed space.

“They agreed to let us go forward with buying another building for the second location and renovating while they’re gone. They said they trust us to make the right decisions.”

“That’s amazing, Leo. I’m so happy for you.” And I was happy for him. This was everything he’d ever wanted. Autonomy in his parents’ business and their respect.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Leo hugged me tightly. “You were the one who believed in me, supported me, and gave me the courage to move forward.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said, easing away from him to sit on the couch.

He sat next to me on the very edge of the couch, braced as if he was going to stand up at any moment. He was amped, excited about his family’s approval and support. I wondered what that would feel like, especially since I’d never wanted or craved it. I just wanted a little attention.

“I wouldn’t have had the courage to follow through, to push for what I wanted, if you hadn’t believed in me.”

“You would have done it. With or without me.” That, I was confident about. Leo was a force to be reckoned with. The fact that he was careful with his parents’ feelings just made him that much better of a man.

“Why did you leave early? Is Evie all right?”

“She was a little disappointed that you didn’t play with her, but I told her you were preoccupied with the business stuff.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want anyone to look at us and know what was going on.”

“Would that be so terrible if your parents found out? You really think they’d hate it? They’d hate me?”

Leo shook his head slowly. “I don’t know how they’d react.”

And it was clear he didn’t want to find out.

“I have to be careful with Evie. She’s not going to understand if you suddenly start ignoring her. Or you only pay attention to her when we’re alone. This isn’t fair to her. I know I said I’d give you time, and I will, but if Evie is affected, then I’ll have to do what’s best for her.”

“I’ll do better. I promise.”

He was saying the right things, but keeping us a secret was bothersome. Evie wouldn’t understand, and I wasn’t sure I did either. I couldn’t conclude anything else but that Evie and I weren’t good enough for him. His parents would never approve, so why were we wasting our time? I should break things off before I got in too deep.

Leo stood and pulled me with him. “I’m so happy. I never thought I could feel like this. I have my family’s approval for a new restaurant. I have you and Evie. Everything’s amazing.”

I smiled, but I didn’t quite feel the same way because I wasn’t sure those developments were good for me.

He dipped his head, his lips hovering over mine. “I’m falling for you.”

Before I could respond, he kissed me, his hands ghosting over my shoulders and down my back to my ass. I felt the press of his dick against my stomach, and I melted into him. He was falling for me. Did I feel the same?

If I forgot about what he’d asked of me, that we were his dirty secret, and I remembered how I felt in his arms, then I was falling for him too. I might have already fallen, and maybe that’s where my concern came from.

But then he picked me up and walked down the hall to my bedroom. He shut and locked it behind us and laid me on the bed.

Bracing himself above me, he brushed the hair off my forehead and leaned down to kiss me. “You’re so beautiful. Beyond words. I don’t deserve you.”

Something about those last four words hit me hard in the chest. Did he feel that way? Was I worthy of his attention and love? Not someone to be hidden?

I lost myself in the feel of his touch. He slowly undressed me and worshipped me with his tongue and fingers before moving up the bed to notch himself at my entrance. “Do we need a condom?”

This moment felt huge. Did I trust Leo not to hurt me? My heart pounded in my chest.

“We don’t have to,” he said as he moved to grab his wallet.

I stopped him with a hand on his arm. “No. It’s okay.”

With his brow raised, he asked, “You want me bare?”

I swallowed hard. “I’m on birth control.”

He groaned as he moved back into position, and the tip of his cock slipped inside. I bit my lip against the sensation of him being inside me without a barrier for the first time. Tingles erupted over my skin as he pushed inside, filling me in a way he hadn’t before.

He lowered himself so that he braced himself on his forearms on either side of my head. His weight rested on my body, his chest pressed against mine, as he lifted his hips in slow movements to make long, measured thrusts.

With every movement, his pelvis ground against my clit, creating delicious friction. The pressure built until I was moaning into his mouth. I was surrounded by him, his scent, his touch. I couldn’t get enough.

We went over together. Then he rested his forehead against mine. “That was transcendent.”

I couldn’t think of a better word than that, and no one had ever described sex or making love quite like that. Leo set himself apart from the other guys who were only with me for sex or a good time.

He wanted me and my daughter. He was falling for me. That had to be enough for now. I’d be patient and bide my time. I had to trust that he would eventually tell his parents and Gia about me.

He moved to my side for a few seconds before pulling on his briefs and going to the bathroom in the hallway. He returned with a washcloth.

Then he gathered me to him and asked, “Can I stay a while?” He kissed my temple. “I’ll leave before she wakes up.”

I nodded because my throat was too tight with emotion. I’d already fallen for him. I just hoped he’d get to the same place I was.

In the middle of the night, I reached for him, needing that connection, the reassurance that he was in this with me. This time, I rode him while he caressed my breasts.

Going without a condom was a show of trust for me. Manny hadn’t been there for me when I’d gotten pregnant, but then there were signs he wasn’t responsible before that happened. Leo was the opposite of Manny. I fell back asleep, hoping I wasn’t making a huge mistake.

When I woke in the morning, he was gone. The sheets were cold. He’d told me he was leaving early, and I knew it was necessary. I wasn’t ready to tell Evie our relationship was serious, not without Leo’s family and my best friend knowing. But I felt bereft.

I hated this duplicity, loving a man who couldn’t be honest with everyone in our life about what we meant to each other. He had a good reason. I just wasn’t sure how much longer I wanted to keep going on like this.

I wanted all of Leo, not just stolen moments or a few hours when everyone was sleeping. I needed to be part of his life in every way. Even if his parents never accepted me, it was better than pretending he was only a friend.

The days leading up to Mr. and Mrs. G.’s trip were busy. I didn’t see much of Leo. He wanted to secure the new property before his parents left and show them that he had everything handled.

I didn’t go to the next Sunday dinner. I needed space, and I couldn’t bring myself to sit across the room from Leo and pretend we didn’t mean anything to each other. Frankly, I was a little surprised that he could. That it was so easy for him.

He’d come to my house last Sunday night because he was happy about the developments in his work, not because of anything to do with us.

I was starting to wonder if I’d romanticized our relationship in my head. If I thought there was more to it than there was. Sure, he told me I was important to him, and he said he was falling for me, but what if he was just stringing me along and had no intentions of ever telling his parents?

When Mrs. G. called and asked me to see them off because she wanted to say good-bye to Evie, I couldn’t refuse. Evie was going to miss them too. They were her de facto grandparents.

The send-off was at their house, and when I arrived, everyone was already standing outside. Evie was passed around, hugged, and kissed until she was finally in Mr. G.’s arms. “I’m going to miss you. Don’t give your mother any trouble while we’re gone.”

“I’m not trouble,” Evie said, and everyone laughed.

He kissed her cheek with a smacking sound before handing her off to Mrs. G., who hugged her tightly. Then Mr. G. hugged both of them, and Evie giggled. When Mr. G. kissed Mrs. G., Evie squirmed. “Ew. You’re kissing like Leo and Mommy.”

It was like time came to a stop. I felt everyone’s stares as she ran to me. “Did you see? They kiss like you and Leo.”

I couldn’t respond because the words were stuck in my throat.

“What is she talking about?” Gia asked.

I slowly shook my head as I silently pleaded with Leo to fix it over her head.

“Why would Leo be kissing Harper?” Mrs. G. asked with a disbelieving smile. It slowly slid off her face when she saw my face. “Is it true?”

“Um. Yes?” I wasn’t sure how to handle this. We hadn’t discussed what to say or do if everyone found out, and I never anticipated that it would be like this, with everyone surrounding us. There was nowhere to hide.

“Leo, you never said you were dating anyone, much less Harper,” Mrs. G. said to him.

My cheeks flamed at her words. Everything hinged on his response, and my heart was suspended in mid-air while everyone waited for him to say something. Anything.

Leo cleared his throat but didn’t meet my eyes. “I didn’t want to say anything until it was serious.”

My face burned.

“It’s not serious? You’re fucking around with my best friend and it’s not serious? What the hell, Leo?” Gia’s voice rose with every word.

“Gia, language,” her father admonished her.

I couldn’t believe he’d care about a thing like that at a time like this. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, where I was watching everyone react with shock and horror but couldn’t seem to make myself move or say anything.

“It’s not like that,” Leo started again, but I’d had enough.

“Mr. and Mrs. G., have a fabulous vacation. We’ll see you when you get back.” Then I grabbed Evie and strode to my car, eager to get out of there, away from the uncomfortable sensation that Leo was going to deny what he felt for me. Or maybe he’d never really felt it at all.

No one stopped or approached me for an explanation. I knew I owed it to Gia, but this wasn’t the time or the place.

“Why is everyone upset?” Evie asked.

I finally settled on the truth. “They didn’t know that I was kissing Leo.”

Her face screwed up. “Does it matter?”

“I think they might be hurt that they didn’t know.”

Evie shrugged. “Anyone could see.”

“Maybe for you, but not when we were with them.”

“Leo likes you, and you like him.”

That was the simplified version of the story. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that adult relationships were so much more complicated. That even if he liked me, he might not pursue it because his family didn’t approve. I wasn’t ready to broach that conversation with her.

Evie wasn’t worried about what just happened. She was oblivious to the fact that Gia was upset and that Mr. and Mrs. G. were shocked by the news. She realized her words had an effect, but she’d forget about it in a few minutes.

She wouldn’t notice there was an issue until Leo stopped coming around, or we didn’t see Mr. and Mrs. G. as much. Maybe some of that could be put off with them being in Italy for the next few weeks.

When I got home, I had a few messages from Gia. Not wanting to put her off, I texted that we could meet at a playground and talk.

When I arrived, Gia was already there. She must have come straight from her parents’ house. She waited until Evie was on the play structure before she asked, “Care to tell me what that was about?”

“I don’t know what Leo told you, but we were seeing each other.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “You’re not anymore?”

“We were keeping it a secret because your brothers thought it might affect your parents’ decisions about the expansion.”

“That’s why you kept it a secret?”

I sighed. “It was more than that. You know, your parents want someone different for Leo.”

Gia paused. “What are you talking about?”

“They’re always trying to set him up with a family friend or someone from church. Remember Bianca?”

“Bianca cheated on him,” Gia said bitterly.

“Do your parents know about that?”

Gia sighed. “Knowing Leo, I doubt it.”

I turned to face her. “I never meant to hurt you or go behind your back. I know you have a rule against friends dating your brothers, and it’s a valid one. I get it. But I didn’t plan for this to happen.”

Her lips pursed. “How long?”

“We’ve been dating for a few weeks.”

“No. I mean, how long have you liked him?”

I thought back to our childhood and the way I was always aware of his presence, noticing the things he said and did and wondering if he liked me too. “Forever?”

Gia swore under her breath. “After all the times I said I couldn’t trust anyone because they always ended up liking one of my brothers. You were no different.”

“I never thought anything would come of it. But then he started hanging around more, said he liked me, and maybe had for a while but wouldn’t let himself go there because I was so close to the family.”

“That’s not an excuse. You should have said no.”

“I get it. You’re my best friend, and I never wanted to hurt you, but I like Leo. He was good to me and Evie. I fell in love with him, and I’m sorry about that, but I couldn’t change it if I tried.” It was like it was meant to be. I was barreling toward Leo my entire life, and I couldn’t stop the inevitable crash, even if I’d thrown on the emergency brakes.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Her disappointment was palpable.

“I love Leo, and I don’t know if your family will accept me. I knew that was a risk when we started seeing each other.”

“What are you talking about, if my family will accept you ?”

“I’m not what they want. I’m not Catholic or Italian or even from a good family.”

“I don’t think that has anything to do with why we’re upset. We are upset that you hid it from everyone.”

“What did Leo say after I left?” My heart thudded in my ears.

“That he didn’t want to tell everyone unless it was serious.”

I’d heard that part. “He didn’t say anything else, like he was falling for me?”

“No, but Leo isn’t one to talk about feelings with us. If he was like that with you, then that’s not the guy we see.”

“The guy you see is who he is. I just thought things were different. That he felt the same way I did. I was stupid. I didn’t want him to hurt Evie or me, but it happened anyway.”

Gia frowned. “I’m not saying he doesn’t. He just didn’t say anything to us.”

He had his chance to declare himself in front of his family, to alleviate their concerns and legitimize our relationship, but he hadn’t. He'd stepped back.

I pushed our relationship out of my head because Gia’s friendship was important too. “Where do we stand? Do you think you could forgive me eventually?”

“I need to sort through my feelings. I feel betrayed. We’re not kids anymore. You knew what you were doing, and you kept it from me.”

I nodded miserably, knowing this result was foreseeable and preventable. If only I’d stayed away from her brother. “Will this affect my job?”

Gia’s jaw tightened. “Give me some time.”

Tears swirled in my eyes. “Of course.”

Then she walked away, and there was nothing I could do about it. The damage was already done. I’d slept with her brother, betrayed her in a way I promised I wouldn’t, like every other friend she had. She couldn’t trust me.

I wasn’t sure I trusted myself when it came to Leo. I fell for him when I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I set myself and Evie up to be hurt. I might have ruined my relationship with his parents and my best friend.