Chapter 23

Twenty-Three

Aria

I woke to the sunlight streaming through the open windows. I cursed the lumpy mattress and the cramped space. Since I’d moved out, Mom made this her sewing room, and there were boxes of things in every corner. I couldn’t believe I was back in my childhood bedroom.

My eyes felt gritty as I reached for my phone. My heart flipped to see a message from Finn.

Finn:

Ireland told me what happened. I’m so sorry. Can we talk?

I set the phone down. What did we have to talk about? Sorry, I lost you your apartment and your job ? He obviously didn’t get that actions have consequences, and we’d played with fire long enough. We were bound to end up in this exact same spot. It was unavoidable.

The phone buzzed on the nightstand. I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to forget everything, but I had a feeling he’d keep calling until he talked to me.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Where’d you go last night? Ireland said you never came home.” The concern in Finn’s voice made me nostalgic for him.

“Why would she expect me to?” I asked, my throat tight with emotion. It was harder than I thought it would be to hear his voice.

“I don’t know. Because you live there.” His tone was tight.

“It’s over, Finn. Everyone knows. Ireland’s upset, and Gia couldn’t even look at me.”

“Ireland’s upset, but I don’t think—”

“We lied to her. We snuck around behind her back. You never talked to her.” I heard the accusation in my voice, but I didn’t do anything to lessen the blow.

Finn sighed. “I was waiting for the right time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It was infinitely worse that she found out the way she did, but I have other things to think about.” Like finding a new job. I didn’t want to live in my old bedroom forever.

“I’m sure Ireland’s still fine with you living there.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible. You didn’t see the shock on her face.” My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. I so badly wanted to give in, to think that everything would be okay. But these things never worked out for a girl like me.

“Ireland doesn’t dictate who I date.”

“She was my friend first, Finn. I betrayed her. I can’t continue to hurt her like that.”

“So this is it? You’re breaking things off?”

“I have other things to worry about, like where I’m going to work and live.” I sighed, the familiar ache in my chest expanding until it was hard to breathe. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. I just hoped this time, things would be different.”

“We should talk about this,” Finn began, but I interrupted.

“There’s nothing to talk about. You’ll go back to your life, and I’ll go back to mine. I never should have thought it would work.”

“It was working. It can—” he broke off, and the line was silent.

Finally, I cleared my throat and said, “You know it won’t. How can we fix things with Ireland?”

Finn cleared his throat. “I’ll fix things with my sister. Don’t worry about her.”

“You’re her brother. That’s different. I’m the girl she trusted. I betrayed her. You don’t come back from that.” I’d never had close girlfriends, but even I knew you didn’t date their brothers. It went against girl code. We made things infinitely worse by hiding it from her.

“I agree. It doesn’t look good, but—”

“But nothing.” I rubbed my temple, hoping it would ease the ache this conversation brought on.

There was a soft knock on the door. “Aria, would you like some breakfast?”

I’d never been happier to be interrupted before. “I have to go. My mom is calling me.”

“You’re at home?” Finn asked.

“Good-bye, Finn.” There was an aching finality to my words as I hung up the phone. It hurt to let him go, but it was the right thing to do.

“I’ll be right out,” I said to my mom before I checked my email. There was one from Gia. She wanted to see me this morning. I had just enough time to shower and eat. Then I needed to deal with my life like an adult.

After my shower, there was another message from Finn.

Finn:

I’m going to fix this.

I didn’t feel anything because there was nothing he could do. I’d screwed things up, and it was time to face the consequences. I needed to meet with Gia, and I should probably apologize to Ireland. It was going to be a long day. Then tomorrow, I’d start over again. I’d look for a job, and hopefully, if I saved every penny I earned, I could get a place.

I shivered at the thought of living how I did before. It was either that or my childhood bedroom. I didn’t have the luxury of being picky. This was my life, and I shouldn’t have thought it could be different.

I went out to the kitchen, dreading the conversation with my parents.

Mom was plating eggs for Iris. I heard the lawnmower out back. Dad must have been getting a head start on the yard work.

“Just eggs for me,” I said as I sat at the table. It was cracked and worn and never failed to remind me of working on homework or helping Iris with hers.

“I love having you here. Don’t get me wrong. But what happened?” Mom asked as she set the plate of scrambled eggs in front of me.

Iris shot me a sympathetic look. Neither one of us liked to be the center of our parents’ attention. We didn’t want them worrying about us.

“I screwed up,” I said, feeling miserable. “I thought I could have it all, but I was wrong.”

“What are you talking about?” Mom asked as she sat next to me.

“Finn was my roommate Ireland’s brother. We were keeping our relationship from her.”

“Aria,” Mom said, disapproval in her tone.

“I know it was wrong, and he said he was going to talk to her, but he never did. Then my boss caught us. She has a rule against dating coworkers.”

“Did you get fired? Is that why you’re here? Not that I don’t love when you visit, but your things are in garbage bags. This feels permanent.” She gestured around her with her hands.

“I’m not sure. I have a meeting with my boss soon.”

“You go in there with your head held high, prepared to list all the amazing things you did for her business.”

“How do you know I did amazing things?” I asked.

Her face softened. “Because I know you. You put your whole heart into everything you do.”

“You have to say that because you’re my mom.” Tears stung the back of my eyes.

“You’ve always been that way. Helping others before yourself. I selfishly took advantage of your goodwill over the years.” Mom fell silent, shaking her head when I opened my mouth to disagree. “I’m not proud to admit that. But it’s why I’m positive you did the same with your boss and Finn. They were lucky to have you.”

I nodded because the lump in my throat prohibited speaking at the moment.

Mom patted my arm. “I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re thinking. They’d be idiots to let you go.”

I smiled, even though I wasn’t feeling her optimism. “Thanks. You always know what to say.”

“It’s the truth,” Mom insisted.

I ate a bite of the cheesy scrambled eggs. I might not have wanted to come home, but I always felt good here, like I belonged. It felt bittersweet because I felt like I belonged in Finn and Ireland’s world too.

“Are you going back to that old apartment?” Iris asked.

“I hope not, but it’s all I can afford, especially if I lose this job.”

“I don’t need you to give me money. It’s appreciated, but I’ve wondered if you were living in an apartment like that so you can give us money.”

“It’s part of it. I was saving so I could get a nice two-bedroom apartment. I was hoping you could move in with me. I don’t want you to worry about paying rent.”

Iris sighed, exchanging a look with Mom. “There you go again, assuming that we come first. You need to take care of yourself and stop thinking of us. We’re still going to be here, whether you help us out financially or not.”

“I worry. I want the best for you.”

“I know you do, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s time for you to do your own thing. I got some financial aid for living expenses, and they offered me free room and board.”

“They did?” At Iris’s happy nod, I got up and hugged her. “I’m so happy for you.”

When I let her go, I felt a little freer. I’d probably always buy my parents groceries, but it was nice not having to worry about Iris. It sounded like she’d done a better job than me, applying for and getting financial aid. She was going to be fine.

When I finished, I rinsed the dish and washed it with dish soap. My dad had never bought a dishwasher, saying it was a waste of money when we could wash them by hand. I hadn’t missed this.

Dad walked in, looking hot and sweaty, so I filled a glass of water for him. He took it from me and drank. Lowering the glass, he asked, “You want to talk to me about what’s going on?”

“I’ll fill you in later. She has an appointment with her boss soon,” Mom said, her lips turned down.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m confident you’ll figure it out.”

I kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks, Dad. That means everything to me.”

Their opinion of me mattered the most. Not what Ireland or Gia thought of my relationship with Finn.

On the drive to the office, I wondered if I should have talked to Finn about how to approach this conversation with Gia. He worked for her too, although he was more of an independent contractor. She paid him by the job, whereas I was salary. I had the most to lose.

Finn could pick up extra gigs at a local bar, or maybe even consider touring. I had no doubt he was talented enough for it. He’d only stuck close for Paisley.

Paisley. I wouldn’t get to spend time with her anymore. My job as a sitter would be over. There was no way I could work for Finn or be around his adorable daughter and not have them. They weren’t mine, and it was stupid to ever think they could be.

I couldn’t help but think about the parallels to my relationship with Raymond. The only difference was I’d broken things off before Finn could. He wasn’t thinking clearly, but when he came to his senses, he’d realize there was no future for us.

I parked in one of the spots behind Happily Ever Afters, surprised to see Finn’s SUV. Maybe Gia was going to talk to both of us at the same time. I couldn’t even be upset about it anymore. I’d cried enough last night. I’d moved on to the stage where I needed to figure out a plan and make some moves. This meeting was just a formality anyway.

I wanted to get it over with so I could move on with my life. After this, I’d call around to my old schools to see if they could use any instructional assistants. Maybe I could substitute until a position in the media center or office opened up. It wasn’t as fun and exciting as being a wedding planner, but it was a solid plan.

I opened the door and walked down the hall to Gia’s office. The space was impressive with a large wood desk, plush leather chairs, and artwork on the walls. Several windows brought in light to counteract the dark wood floors.

Gia leaned against her desk, talking softly with Finn. Their expressions were serious.

“Aria, you’re here.” Gia rounded the desk and sat in her chair. “Have a seat.”

I couldn’t look at Finn although I sensed he wanted me to. What was the point? Whatever was going to happen would. I folded my hands. “First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for violating the rules. I totally understand why you did what you did. I’ll clear out my stuff and be on my way.” There was no point in prolonging the inevitable.

Gia frowned. “I’m surprised that’s what you led with.”

Should I have done what my mom said and stood up for myself, listing all the amazing things I’d done while I was here, and told her the rules were ridiculous?

Finn leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “I told Gia that I was the one who pursued you.”

“There were two of us, Finn. It’s not your fault.” I tried and failed to keep my voice even.

“You’re right about one thing, Aria, I do have rules, and I have them for a reason. Imagine what a guest would have thought if they’d caught you in a compromising situation?” Gia said.

“That I don’t take my job or their wedding seriously,” I said, swallowing over the discomfort in my throat.

“Exactly, and then we would get a certain kind of reputation,” Gia said, her voice tinged with disgust.

I knew she fought against the idea that women couldn’t be as successful as men in business. It was why she worked so hard to maintain a good reputation.

Gia waited to see if we would add anything, and then she sighed. “Finn said he wouldn’t take any more gigs so you could keep your job.”

I was shaking my head before she finished her sentence. “I can’t let him do that.”

Finn shook his head. “That’s not your decision. I don’t need this job like you do. I have the teaching position and my bar gigs.”

“You can’t be messing around in the office or at any of the venues,” Gia said, looking first from me and then to Finn.

“That won’t be necessary. Finn and I—we decided to break things off. The whole thing was ill-advised.” It was fun while it lasted, but I couldn’t risk my job again.

Finn sucked in a breath. “I wish you’d give it some time before you make any rash decisions.”

“It seems like I’m screwing up everywhere these days. I made bad decisions, and I’m trying to fix it.”

“I told you I’d take care of you.”

Warmth spread from my cheeks through my chest. I’d loved that he’d said he’d take care of me, but I didn’t need that.

As much as I wanted to let him pick up the pieces, it wasn’t his place, and I wasn’t used to asking for help. I relied on myself. So, I ignored the plea I detected in his voice and asked Gia, “Are you sure you want me to work here?”

“I would have preferred you fought a little harder for your position. That you’d tell me all the things that you’ve done that make you an invaluable employee here.”

When I remained stubbornly silent, she continued. “I had plans for you. I wanted you to start leading your own weddings, and if it worked out, I was going to promote you to a head wedding planner position.”

It was everything I’d ever wanted. Was it off the table now?

“I’m not saying it won’t happen, but I want to see some of that fire that made me hire you in the first place. That Aria would have walked in here, telling me all the reasons why I couldn’t lose her.”

I couldn’t explain how defeated I felt. Even though I kept my job, it was a reminder of how fickle things were. I could lose a job or people in my life at any time. Nothing was guaranteed.

“Take a few days off. I think you need the break, and then be back in on Thursday. We have a big wedding next weekend on the Eastern Shore. Hailey and Ryan’s.”

I stood and shook her hand. “Of course. Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“We all make mistakes sometimes. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” With a nod, I was dismissed.

I headed outside, desperate to get to my car. I needed to be by myself.

“Aria,” Finn said as soon as I stepped outside into the bright light. I shielded the sun from my face as I turned to confront him.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“What’s there to talk about? How you shouldn’t have quit so I could keep my job?”

“She wasn’t going to fire you. I’ll finish out my current contracts, and I think she’ll hire me on in the future. She just wants to let this ride out.”

“I wouldn’t want you to lose your job over me.”

His forehead wrinkled. “But it’s okay for you to lose your job for me?”

“I screwed up.”

“I was there too, remember?” He moved closer, his voice lowering to a gentle tone.

“I need to talk to Ireland,” I said, trying to ignore the plea I saw in his eyes.

“This probably isn’t the time or place, but I’m not done with you.”

“What if I am?” I asked, even as my chin trembled. I was so much stronger when he wasn’t standing in front of me.

“Give me one good reason why we should break things off.”

“Because I’m not right for you. We come from different places. You may not care now, but you will.”

Finn shook his head and chuckled without any humor. “This has nothing to do with Gia and Ireland. This is about your ex. That guy who said you didn’t fit into his world.”

My jaw was set in a stubborn line. “This has nothing to do with him.”

“It has everything to do with him and how you grew up. Kids picked on you. You thought you weren’t good enough to go to college, get a job like this, or live in an apartment like Ireland has.” He rubbed his neck and dropped his head. “I want to be with you, but you need to clear those old stories. You need to realize you’re above all that.” He lifted his gaze to mine. Then he walked away, got into his SUV, and drove off.

My heart was breaking because the things he’d said were true. It wasn’t about the job or my friendship with Ireland. It was 100 percent about my fears. My hang-ups. My belief that I wasn’t good enough for him.

It was a lot to tackle, and I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready, not when I already felt so low. First, I needed to see Ireland and apologize to her.

I got in my car and drove to my old apartment. This time, I knocked, having left my key on the counter last night.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Ireland said, her hand holding the door.

“I’m sorry for keeping our relationship from you and for leaving the way I did. I just figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I broke your trust. I betrayed you.”

Ireland’s shoulders lowered. “Can we talk about this inside?”

I followed her, waiting while she closed the door softly behind me. She led the way into the kitchen, where my note and key still sat. I avoided looking at them as she sat on a stool, not offering me anything to eat or drink.

“I was upset last night when I realized what you’d been doing. I was hurt. Finn said he was going to tell me, but he worried about my reaction. Rightfully so.”

“I wanted him to tell you sooner. I hated lying to you.”

Ireland held her hand up as if to stop me. “I’ve had some time to think about it, and I want to know why you left. Why you thought you had to move out.”

“I already told you.”

“You betrayed me, and you thought our friendship was over.”

“Well, isn’t it?” My heart thumped a little harder with the possibility that I’d been wrong.

“Would you have reacted the same if I’d slept with your brother?” Ireland asked.

“I mean, I have a sister, so I have no idea. But probably not. I value our friendship, and I would have been hurt, but I would have talked to you first.”

Ireland slowly shook her head. “Don’t you think that’s what you should have done?”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I thought I’d lost everything.” I felt a little sick to my stomach. I hated letting Ireland down. She’d been nothing but good to me.

“I know you don’t have a lot of experience with friends sticking by you. Either you haven’t asked for it or you didn’t let anyone close, but that’s not how I operate. I don’t think you did anything to hurt me intentionally. Finn explained that, at first, you weren’t sure it was serious. That it was just a fling.”

“But then it became more. Finn said I was different, that he wanted to give us a chance.”

Ireland smiled softly. “I think that’s great. I’m proud of my brother for taking that step.”

“But we’re over now. Gia has her rules.”

Ireland raised a brow. “Did Gia say you couldn’t work there if you were dating Finn?”

“Finn offered to quit, so she didn’t say. I think she was upset that we were fooling around at the venues.”

Ireland sighed. “Finn doesn’t work there anymore. Problem solved.”

“Finn would realize soon enough that I wasn’t the right person for him.”

Ireland sighed. “Because of how you grew up? That you didn’t go to college? If you’d been paying attention, you’d know he doesn’t care about any of that.”

“I’m scared of losing him. Last night, I thought I’d lost my job, my apartment, and my best friend.”

“You haven’t lost anything yet. You just forgot to fight for what you want.”

Hope soared in my chest. “You think I need to fix things with Finn.”

“Only if he’s what you want,” Ireland said carefully.

“I love him.” That was the only truth I could wrap my head around.

Ireland smiled. “Then it’s not too late.”

“When I talked to him this morning, he said he’d fix it.”

“Does that sound like a guy who doesn’t want to be with you?”

I bit my lip. “I screwed up.”

“You panicked. But you still have time to turn things around.”

“What do I do? Finn said I needed to figure a few things out.” I tried to remember everything he’d said, but it was a bit of a blur. I felt like I was reacting on autopilot this morning.

“I’m guessing he said you needed to work on your confidence and believe in yourself and him.”

I nodded miserably.

Ireland pulled out a notebook. “I like starting with defining what you want.”

“You mean out of a relationship or my job?” I asked, scooting closer to her chair.

She tapped her pen against the paper. “What do you want out of your life?”

“I want to be happy.”

“That’s a feeling. I want actionable things. I want to be a millionaire, fly first class, that kind of thing.” Ireland waved a hand in the air.

“Well, yeah, that sounds good too. But I was thinking of taking some business classes while still working for Gia. She said she was thinking of eventually promoting me to head wedding planner.”

Ireland paused to high-five me. “Good for you. So you don’t want to be a teacher anymore?”

“I don’t think so. I really love planning the perfect day for couples.”

Ireland grinned. “Yay! Me too.”

“And I want Finn and Paisley. I want to live with them when they’re ready. I want to plan a future with them.”

Ireland did a little victory dance on her stool. “I love that. Okay. We can work with this. Have you spoken with a college advisor or signed up for any classes?”

I winced. “Not yet. I haven’t been able to take that step.”

“You do that,” she said as she looked at the list in front of her.

“What are you going to work on?” For the first time, I felt like I could rely on a friend to help me. That she would be there for me, no matter what.

“How you’re going to get my brother back,” she said with a smile at me.

“Are you sure you want to be involved in that?” I couldn’t imagine Ireland wanting to discuss the details of my relationship with her brother.

She cringed. “I don’t need to hear the sexy plans, but you’ll need something big to prove to him that you believe in him.”

I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. I hugged her. “Thank you for being my friend.”

“You won’t be for long if you don’t move your stuff back in. I missed you last night,” she said pointedly.

“I did too.” I loved seeing my family and talking to my mom, but I liked my freedom more.

I had a lot of work to do to get in the right headspace. But for the first time, I was confident he was waiting for me. I just had to give him a reason to say yes to forever.