Chapter Thirteen. Winnie

It's been two whole days since Case saved my little sister, and she still hasn't stopped talking about it, or rather him, every chance she gets. Understandably so, of course. When I think of the way he flung himself in front of her… Jesus. I may never sleep again.

That said, hero he may be, he's still the same self-absorbed dummy he was last week, even if I am feeling a tiny bit softer toward him. Garrett might be a certifiable genius, but she's still ten and not exactly subtle. I've already been subjected to "seventy-five things Case said that were super hilarious," and we've only been home an hour. Unfortunately, I've got bigger fish to fry than my little sister's crush.

I get paid tomorrow, so I've decided to take my siblings out to the taco truck for dinner. It's mostly a treat for me, if I'm honest. A girl cannot live on chicken nuggets alone. Jesse texted he'd be here soon, so I'm Garrett's captive audience.

What he doesn't know is I've gotten yet another call from Principal Butler about him skipping class. Final, final warning and all that. The "we really mean business this time" kind. I've been thinking of ways to bring it up all day, and the best I've come up with is taco truck.

I tried to talk to my dad about it early this morning when he got off work, but he seems to think it's not a big deal. Or rather, it's not a big deal for him.

"Let him get his GED, Winnie. I can't force him to go to school. What do you want me to do?"

"How about ground him? Take away his phone? Return the calls from the school? Anything!"

"And how do you expect me to enforce any of that? We all know I can't follow up on anything with my work schedule."

"Dad, you've been working the third shift for over ten years. You have to have some seniority there. Can't you apply for a daytime shift?"

His eyes turned steely. "I like the night shift, Win."

That's what it always comes down to in the end. My dad likes the night shift. I'm sure a small part is he's been a night owl for decades, but it's more likely he doesn't remember how to be a parent, and third shift allows him to avoid it. By default of his paychecks, he puts food on the table and keeps the lights on, and that's enough to soothe his conscience. That and the extra layer of avoidance on the weekends when he pisses away the rest of his time and money at the VFW with his buddies. To be honest, it was fine for a while. I was handling things—until now. Now it's not fine. Now I need him to step up and be a parent, but it seems like he saw my early graduation as an end date for him. An "Oh, good. Winnie can take care of everything now."

And I just… always have.

I have no disillusions about my parents. My mom had big plans for her life, and kids were never in the picture. Why she kept having them is a mystery, but it came to a head when she was pregnant with Garrett. At least she waited until Garrett was born before she left. She's never even sent a postcard, like they do in the movies. She could live the next town over for all I know. It used to upset me, but I haven't had a whole lot of time to dwell on it, and why should I? She chose to leave us. Good riddance. Fuck off.

My dad is another issue altogether. He's absent for sure, but he doesn't resent us the way she did. He just doesn't have a clue what to do with three kids and hasn't ever cared enough to figure it out. Every now and again, we'll have a Sunday afternoon together and he'll be affectionate and fun and present, and for that brief period of time, we feel like a normal family. It's almost worse because you see the potential of what could be—what our family might've looked like if she'd stuck around or if he'd tried. I sort of hate those days. They fuck with my head, and more than that, they fuck with Jesse and Garrett. Every time, it takes longer and longer to recover from the tease.

I know what people think about us: Those poor Sutton kids. I can hear it in their hushed voices in the school office, or in the principal's tone when he calls to warn me about Jesse. I can see it in Camilla's gaze when she recognizes Garrett hanging around the stables. Even in Case's expression when I lost my shit over Walmart shoes.

They aren't wrong. It's not easy being us. But it's also the way it's always been. Do I realize not everyone lives this way? Yes. Do I wish it were different? Fuck yes. But wishing doesn't do anything. I can't force my dad to get his shit together. I can't drag my mom back here and make her care about us.

All I can do is my best: I have my shit together. I'm here. I care about us.

I've been doing some research, and there is something I could do that would allow me to have more of a say when it comes to Jesse's bullshit. But with that comes more responsibility, and I'm not completely sure I want it. It's a commitment.

But also, it's not like I'm going to leave them, anyway, so…

There're lights in the drive, and I see Jesse get out of a car I don't recognize. I do recognize the driver, though. It's a kid named Pax, who was in my year in school. According to Case, Jesse is dating his little sister, Chelsea. Pax opens his car door and stands, waving in a familiar, friendly kind of way. I swing open the front door, letting Jesse in.

"Hey, Winnie Sutton, long time no see!" Pax shouts from the drive.

"Hi, Pax. Thanks for driving Jesse home."

He gives me an easy smile and says, "No problem. You guys have a great night!" before turning to duck back in his car.

I turn to Jesse, closing the door behind me. "I didn't know you needed a ride. I could have picked you up."

"I didn't," he says, sullen as, well, he always is these days. "Pax offered to drive."

I change tack. "Any homework? I thought we'd go out for tacos tonight. Garrett is starving."

He brightens. "I'm hungry, too."

"Great," I say. "Then we can go whenever your homework is done."

He waves me off. "I'm ready now."

I press my lips together to keep from arguing with him. I don't want to start a fight before dinner. The plan is that a full stomach of tacos will soften him up, and then I can ask him about school after. I decide to drop the homework for now. It's not as though one day is going to make or break things at this point.

An hour later, we're huddled at a pastel-painted picnic table in Amarillo, a dozen tacos spread out in front of us. Barbacoa for me, chipotle chicken for Garrett, and grilled mahi-mahi for Jesse. I crack open a green soda and make a face at the sweet, fizzy taste bubbling up on my tongue before sipping again. I don't much care for the drink, but when in the Southwest and all that. Garrett loves them.

We devour our food while Garrett talks our ears off with more funny wisdom à la Case Michaels, and Jesse, for once, doesn't put her off. He asks her questions and even informs us Pax and Case are pretty good friends. He tells us a story of how he saw Case jump in a pool naked at a party a few weeks back that makes me choke on a fried tortilla chip and sends Garrett into a fit of giggles. Bless. I wonder if that was the morning I ran into him and we fought in the parking lot.

That feels like a year ago. Or at least several flip-flopped changes of opinions ago.

I decide to bring up school when all that remains of our dinner are empty wrappers and everyone is in high spirits.

"Hey, Jesse, I got a phone call from school today. Second one this week."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "What, they want to put up a plaque in the cafeteria in your honor or something?"

"Yeah, no, definitely not," I say humorlessly. "They said you're about to be expelled for truancy. And they will have to report our family to the police."

He pales so much I can see his baby freckles, the ones I thought disappeared years ago. "What? Why would they do that?"

"I don't know, maybe because it's illegal to miss school so much?"

He scowls. "Let me quit, then. I'll get my GED."

"My dude. You're only fourteen. That's not an option."

"Then tell them I'm homeschooling."

"That only works if you're actually doing school at home. With a parent or guardian to supervise your progress. You barely live at home these days, so that's not happening. What's your deal, anyway? It's not as if you aren't smart. You've always done super well in school."

"I don't care. I'm not interested in college, not that we could afford it, anyway. Maybe I want to get a job."

I raise a brow. "Really," I drawl cynically. "A job."

He shrugs, peeling the greasy wax paper in front of him. Uh-huh. That's what I thought.

"Look. As much as I would love for someone else in this household to get a job and help out, you're too young to be working. You need to stay in school. We can't afford truancy fines, and to be frank, we can't risk an inquiry from CPS."

I watch the little color remaining in my younger brother's face leach away. Garrett audibly swallows next to me, reaching for my hand with her small, slightly sticky one.

"I'm gonna level with you here. You're playing with fire, and we don't have a single pail of water to our names. I get it. I do. You're tired of things being how they are. Sick of struggling. I swear, I know. But if you give up on me, on us," I correct, squeezing Garrett's little fingers gently, "I don't think I can fix it. We don't have parents around. Legally, that's very bad."

"You take care of us," he says in a low voice. "We don't need parents."

I swallow hard at the childlike assurance in his changed voice and try not to smother under the guilt of yesterday and Garrett's dance with a longhorn. "And I always will. I promise. But I'm not your guardian. I don't have a say in what happens."

"What if you were?" Garrett asks softly. "Why can't you be our mom?"

Jesse narrows his eyes. "Because she's not our real mom."

"Obviously," Garrett says, glaring at him. "But she's the only mom I've ever known. And Winnie already takes care of us."

I sigh, raising my hand between them. This is the part I researched. What I've been researching ever since I talked to my dad and he refused to help.

"Technically, I could file to be both of your guardians. I'm nineteen. Dad would have to give up his rights, though."

Garrett brightens, but Jesse frowns. "No way, Win. You can't do that. Like you said, you're nineteen. You can't take responsibility for us. You have your own life."

I squeeze my sister's hand reassuringly but look at my brother. "You're right. I do." Kinda. "And I didn't want to be a parent before I even got to be a kid. But that ship has sailed. A long time ago. I won't leave you guys. So here is the way I see it: either you get your ass in gear and back into school until you're at least sixteen, when you can and will get your GED, or I'm going to file for guardianship. Because I can be your big sister, or I can be your parent, but I can't be both."

"You're insane," Jesse says, shaking his head.

"No. I care, dummy. So please, please, please go to school. That's all I'm asking. That's your job right now. The three of us have to stick together and help each other out. No one else is going to look out for us, so we have to do it. If you don't care enough to go to school for you, do it for the sheer fact if CPS comes, I can't guarantee Dad will fight for us. Which means I will have to."

And that means my dreams are put on hold for another eight years. At least.

I'd do it. But I'd rather not have to.

It's the rare moment I'm off the clock and don't have anywhere to be for another hour—and the sun is shining. I'm tucked behind the stables on an old workbench, sprawled on my back, boots swinging and hat tilted over my eyes when a shadow falls over me.

"Case said you might be hiding back here."

My lips spread in a smile beneath my straw hat. Maria.

"Hey, girl. You're blocking my vitamin D."

"Scooch over, then, and share the wealth."

I squirm to one side, and she settles in next to me. I slowly ease to face her, the warm sun making my movements lazy. "Were we supposed to meet today?"

She blocks the sun with one hand, squinting. "Nah. I knew today was a Garrett day. I was in the neighborhood and was hoping a certain sandy-haired friend of Case's might be loitering around the ranch."

"Pax?" I ask, surprised. "I think he has a girlfriend. Ish," I correct after a beat.

Maria shrugs a shoulder as if "girlfriend" is an insignificant detail. Which, the more I get to know the rodeo queen, it probably is.

I snort, tipping my hat down again. "Hell. I'd give my whole car for an ounce of your swagger."

Maria throws back her head in an elegant laugh. "Your car is a piece of shit, no offense. You'll have to do better than that."

I elbow her in her side, and she barely reacts, but I feel too comfortable to care.

"Seriously, Sutton. I'm shocked you make it out of the parking lot every day."

"Truthfully, same. I once ran over a nail and got a flat, and the repair guy told me the replacement tire was likely worth more than the rest of the car put together."

"You know who can afford new cars?"

I groan. "Don't."

"Winners."

"Fuck you, Santos."

Maria laughs. "Just saying. A few races could pay for new tires. Or a pair of those boots you were telling me about."

"Or Mab," I say softly, imagining it so easily. Yearning surges in my chest.

"Or Mab," she agrees, turning back to me, her dark brown eyes penetrating.

I yank the hat off my face, shaking off the longing and rising to a seated position, wrapping my arms around my knees.

Maria nudges my shoulder with a small smirk. "Though, as long as you're sidelined, my and Duchess's path to the NFR is clear."

I nudge her back, pleased balance is restored between me and my new friend. "As long as you know, deep down, if Mab and I were there, we'd be kicking your ass at every turn."

"Deep, deep down, maybe," she concedes. "But don't you be thinking I'm gonna admit that to anyone else. Pure deniability from this point on. You want to beat me, you're gonna have to get out there and prove it." She pats my shoulder before jumping down from the workbench, brushing off her jeans and smoothing her gorgeous blue-black locks. "I think I hear my future boyfriend."

I grin, relaxing back on the bench and replacing the hat over my face. I'm glad for the reprieve. "Get 'em, tiger."