3. Chapter Three

I must’ve fallen asleep holding the mirror, only waking later when Ewan peeled the handle from my death grip. On instinct, I hissed and bared my fangs. His gaze narrowed.

“You”re a wolf, not a dragon hoarding treasure,” he reminded me, running his thumb over the mark on my palm and frowning.

I snatched my hand back. “You startled me. Isn’t it, like, bad luck to wake a sleeping vampire or something?”

Ewan placed the mirror on the table beside the bed and offered me a steaming mug. “Essie brewed it, to help with the bloodlust.”

The potion was odorless and colorless, yet it gurgled inside the cup in a way that made my stomach turn. My lips clamped shut as Ewan lifted the mug to my mouth when I refused to take it.

“I promise it will be painless.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “And if you don’t drink it, you’ll go to bed hungry.”

“Sadist,” I muttered and grabbed the mug with two hands.

The potion tasted like hot, steamy, nothing, which should’ve been a relief, but I found it more depressing. As a member of the undead, my senses were heightened—more defined. Everything tasted more complex than it had when I was human. Even the air had a range of flavors, from the tart bite of Ewan’s shampoo to the crisp sweetness of the outdoors that still clung to his skin.

And yet, the potion tasted like nothing. It just wasn’t right.

I drank the entire mug and handed it back to Ewan. He patted my head, a very condescending gesture that made me swat his hand. He laughed. I feigned annoyance, secretly pleased he was in such a playful mood. This was my Ewan, the man I’d fallen in love with. The man I’d married.

The man I married.

Growing up, I had often felt like my entire purpose in life was to be some important wolf’s mate. That was my job as my father’s daughter and my duty to the pack. Yet now that I was some very important wolf’s mate, it didn’t quite feel real.

He kicked off his boots and stretched out beside me on the bed, resting his head in my lap. There were no lights on in the room, and the sun had yet to rise outside, but I had no trouble seeing his perfect features. I ran my fingers through his dark, windswept hair and tried to ignore the tickle in the back of my throat.

“The Zodiac High Fae council wants Essie to step aside as leader of the Geminis,” Ewan said after a long moment. “They’ve heard rumors about Winter, about who and what she really is. They know she’s eternal, and that Essie hid that fact from everyone.”

My thoughts wandered to the conversation between Brooke and Zach. My brother had mentioned the council wanted to question Essie. The non-beating heart in my chest clenched. Essie had been a rock, an ally, helping me, protecting me–just as she’d done for Winter. Essie didn’t deserve punishment. She deserved a medal.

I brushed the hair back from Ewan’s forehead. “What did they expect her to do—kill her great grandchild?”

Even as I asked, the answer popped into my head. That was precisely what the high fae assholes had wanted—for Essie to end Winter’s life before it began. Instead, she’d sent Colleen and Winter away, hiding them among the humans.

It was easy to understand why a great-grandmother would defy logic and law for her family. Love was a powerful motivator, a drug that scrambled thoughts and brought even the sanest of people to the brink. In my non-beating heart of hearts, I knew Essie loved Winter, but I didn’t believe for a second that affection was the only reason for the Sable matriarch’s decision.

“They expected her to kill Nicasia,” Ewan said, startling me out of my thoughts. “No matter who she was born in this life, or any other, they only think of her as Nicasia.”

Just as I will always be Zosia, I thought.

Ewan’s crimson eyes locked on me. “No.” He shook his head. “Zosia is your past.” He turned and crawled on top of me, his mouth brushing mine when he spoke. “You. Are. My. Zara.” He punctuated each word with a kiss.

My arms circled his neck, pulling him closer. He trailed kisses along my jawline and down my neck, his fangs grazing the sensitive skin at the hollow of my throat. A moan escaped my lips.

Dear Gaia, bite me, I thought, a little surprised at the morbid desire.

Ewan laughed softly and nestled his chin between my breasts. I wore an oversized Arcane University t-shirt with no bra beneath. “Are you trying to kill me?” he teased.

His muscles bunched as I ran my hands down his back. “Is my blood still toxic?” I asked, stomach turning.

Ewan’s expression turned serious. “We don’t know yet, and no one wants to volunteer to test it out.” He averted his gaze. “Not after what happened.”

To Angelica, I thought, finishing the sentence in my head.

“Yeah,” Ewan agreed, reading her name from my mind. He rolled to the side and propped himself up on his elbow. “Look. I need to tell you something that you aren’t going to like. There will be a memorial for Angelica.”

I stiffened, my wolf rising to the surface. Jealousy shot through me. She’d tried to kill me. It was her fault Ewan had to turn me. It was her fault that I’d become a monster. That backstabbing wench didn’t deserve a memorial.

Gold ribbons threaded through Ewan’s crimson irises. His eyes locked with mine and his alpha power washed over me. Pressure built inside my head as his dominance warred with my stubborn nature.

“She was a member of the pack,” Ewan said, clipping each one of his words. “It’s only right. You will attend. The pack needs to see you, to know you. You are my mate, and we need to show a united front.”

I shook my head, shoving his shoulders as I scooted away from him. Ewan took the hint and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, angling his body so his gaze never drifted from my face.

“Is that an order?” I asked, voice so cold even I didn’t recognize it as my own.

Silence fell between us. He studied my face as if committing it to memory.

“No.” His alpha pull retreated like a wave rolling back out to sea. “I’m asking you to be there as my mate, as one half of the alpha couple. Because I need you by my side, and the pack needs to see you are ready to lead them. That you are above petty relationship drama.”

“Excuse me? Are you serious right now? She tried to kill me. I mean, technically, she did kill me, Ewan. This isn’t some teenage love triangle gone wrong.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what it is,” he deadpanned.

I was too incensed to stop mid-rant, so I just kept going as if he hadn’t interrupted. “She and I have had problems for centuries. Centuries. Do you know how long that is? And she tried to kill me. I cannot stress this point enough. Because murder is way worse than stealing someone’s boyfriend. Besides, you were mine first.”

I regretted the last part immediately, fully expecting Ewan to remind me that I had given up any claim when I rejected him. Thankfully, only one of us was feeling petty tonight, and it wasn’t him.

He reached for my hand and slid his fingers between mine. “I was yours first. I am yours now. I have always been yours—heart, body, and soul. Never doubt that. And that is an order from your alpha.”

His words sent a happy shiver down my spine. He leaned in and captured my bottom lip between his sharp teeth. The tension in my muscles subsided, and I slid my arms around his neck and crushed my mouth to his, still annoyed but no longer fuming with anger.

Tears filled my eyes as if the abundance of sudden and overwhelming emotion needed an outlet. Under very different circumstances, this would’ve been a happy occasion. Ewan and I should’ve been on our honeymoon, holed up in some island resort where we never left the suite because we were too busy in the bedroom. Instead, I spent the days after my bonding ceremony in a mental prison of tortured memories from past lives. It wasn’t right.

Ewan cupped my face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that leaked down my cheeks. “I love you, Zara,” he whispered. “I chose you, just as you chose me. Nobody will ever come between us again. Please, let’s put Angelica to rest, and then we can truly move on with our lives.”

My hackles rose as her name crossed his lips. Bile burned my throat as the anger returned, and I had the urge to kill her all over again. And yet, I nodded. Not because Ewan made me. Deep down, I knew he was right. Putting her to rest would give us all closure. And then I would never have to hear her name again.

“Okay,” I murmured as he wiped more tears from my cheeks. “I can be the bigger person. For you. For us.”

His fangs peeked out when he smiled. “That’s my girl.” A shadow washed over his expression. “First, you need to get the bloodlust under control.”

My throat itched the moment he mentioned blood. Until that instant, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

He tilted his head so his neck was on full display. My gaze fixed on the blue vein running beneath his pale skin. He cupped my jaw, gold and crimson swirling in his irises.

“Where do you want it from?” he teased, voice thick and sultry.

My mouth went dry, fangs fully extended. I nipped the skin between his thumb and forefinger, scraping my teeth just hard enough to draw two thin lines of red. Ewan’s chest heaved as he sucked in an unnecessary breath. I bite down harder.

His blood washed over my tongue and down my throat, soothing the ache. He captured my gaze. Gold blazed in his eyes as I drank from him. Each pull of blood strengthened our connection.

For those several blissful minutes, nothing else in the world mattered. I didn’t care that our bonding ceremony had ended in tragedy. Nor did I give a shit that we weren’t on our honeymoon. Ewan and I, after centuries and multiple lives, were finally together. My love for him was so intense, I worried it verged on unhealthy. Maybe obsession.

I grew tired the more I drank. My eyelids fluttered, and I fought to stay awake. The dreams were too much. I wanted to stay in the here and now with the man I’d loved and lost so long ago.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, stroking my hair as I curled up in the pillows and he stretched out beside me. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Ewan gathered me in his arms, my head resting against his chest.

“Promise?” I whispered, slurring the single word.

His lips brushed my forehead. “I’ve waited so long for this–for us. For you to be mine, and for me to be yours.”

My lips curved into a lazy smile as my mind began to drift. “I’ve always been yours.”

He squeezed me tighter. “Now it’s official.”

Darkness took over. I concentrated on Ewan’s touch, hoping the memories would be pleasant. With his blood running through my veins, I felt strong enough to face the past. The dreams were important. They showed me my mistakes and my triumphs, and somewhere in those memories was the key to defeating Mat. To stopping the eternal king from executing his plan. I wondered if that was why Ewan always gave me his blood, to direct my dreams.

Voice distant, he spoke inside my head. “You are mine. No one else will ever feel the pierce of your fangs.”

The words soothed me, his possessiveness oddly welcome. Maybe it was because I felt the same way about him. Now that we’d sealed the bond, he was mine, and I wouldn’t share him with anyone.

“That better work both ways,” I thought.

The dream sucked me in before he could reply. I steeled myself and focused on Ewan’s power coursing through me.

Here we go again…