18. Chapter Eighteen

The dream started with me standing in front of a set of doors carved with the royal family’s crest. Two guards in full decorative regalia were on either side of the entrance to King Orrin’s private chambers. Butterflies flapped their insistent wings in my stomach as my pulse pounded in my ears. I dreaded the forthcoming conversation yet knew there was no choice. The king had summoned me.

He was seated behind his big dark wooden desk when I entered, writing on a piece of parchment paper with a feather quill. He beckoned me forward without looking up from his task.

“Sit, Zosia.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Between the simple clothes I wore and the king’s gruff demeanor, I assumed the memory was from sometime during the games.

I waited out the tense silence, staring down at my hands clasped in my lap and trying not to panic. Finally, the king returned his quill to the inkwell, set aside the parchment to dry, and turned his attention to me.

“My son has informed me that he wishes for you to be his mate.” The king leveled me with a pointed stare. “Should you be one of our winners, of course.”

I gulped but didn’t reply, not sure of the appropriate response in this situation.

“I thought I made myself clear, Zosia. Kings do not ask twice, child. You were supposed to stop these interludes with my son.”

“I apologize, Your Majesty. I spoke with Stavros as you asked. The prince wasn’t… accepting of my refusal.” I had tried to tell him it was over like the king wanted, but Stavros could be very convincing and, well, I was in love with him.

The king leaned against the cushions of his high-backed chair and appraised me. “My son does not know what is good for him. You, however, do. You, Zosia, are well aware of the ramifications of your actions, which extend beyond the games.”

It was a threat disguised as polite conversation, and the part of me that was Zara wanted to dive across the desk and make King Orrin understand the ramifications of his actions.

“Why, Zosia, have you disobeyed my orders? Why have you continued to allow him the rites and privileges of a husband?”

My teeth welded shut behind pursed lips, anger and humiliation burning in my chest.

“Answer me, child!” King Orrin roared so loudly the guards outside must have heard him.

“I love him.” My head snapped up, our eyes meeting across the desk. “I love your son.”

I expected the king to laugh, to mock my silly, girlish notions, to tell me that my feelings were a crush and nothing more, to say that I wasn’t good enough for his son. These were all things I had told myself, fears I had confessed to no one besides Diana. Not even Stavros.

“Has my son confessed his love for you?” The question was genuine, yet still felt like a slap to the face.

“No, not in so many words,” I said, hating the king for forcing me to make such an admission.

Silence, long and fraught, stretched between us. I should have lowered my gaze out of deference to our monarch, but I held his gaze without shame. My love for Stavros burned brighter than any star in the sky. When we were together, it felt like nothing could hurt me. It felt right, despite those who said it was wrong.

“Have you told the prince of your feelings?”

“Not in so many words,” I said again, which was true. Though giving him my virginity and risking my reputation was a declaration of love that I knew Stavros appreciated.

The king folded his hands over his belly. “I am going to speak plainly, Zosia, because I need you to understand the harm of your relationship with my son. I don’t prefer Illiana to you. If you want the truth, I find her quite insufferable. Her most redeeming quality is that she comes from a good family. Pretty lies fall from her lips every time she opens them. She is cunning and backstabbing and completely infatuated with the prince.”

Was it wrong that the king’s speech actually made me feel better?

He pushed his chair back, legs scrapping the ground, and rose to his full height. Usually, this was an invitation to leave his presence, but King Orrin made no indication that he wanted me out of his chambers. On the contrary. He seemed to want to keep me there until he convinced me to break things off with Stavros.

“Many of Iliana’s qualities will serve her well in her future role, as will many of yours, Zosia. Throughout the games, you have shown you are resourceful, loyal, skilled, and methodical.” He’d begun to pace his chambers, and I turned in my seat to follow him with my eyes. “I am genuinely impressed and pleased with your performance.”

I couldn’t help it; I puffed up my chest as it filled me with pride. King Orrin didn’t hand out compliments on a whim or really at all. This was a big deal.

“Under different circumstances, I would allow my son the option to take you as his mate. What you lack in certain areas, you make up for in ours. Your defiant streak, of course, concerns me. The bonding ceremony will take care of the problem.”

I squirmed in my chair. What did he mean “take care of the problem”? That sounded ominous.

“Unfortunately, both you and my son have confirmed my suspicions. I spoke with him earlier, and he too confessed his love. He said the words to me, the same as you have, Zosia.”

The royal court, particularly the ruling family, was full of known, skilled liars. Yet I was certain the king told the truth, and I nearly wept with happiness. Deep in my soul, I felt Stavros’ love and didn’t doubt his for me.

“Do you understand why this is an issue, Zosia?”

I stared at the king, confusion creating frown lines between my eyebrows. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I don’t.”

He nodded like he’d expected my response. “There is a—let’s call it a story. Supposedly, in a year when four blood moons rise as one, Gaia marks two of her children, intertwining their fates for always and ever. At one time, this was considered a great honor and an even greater blessing for the fae. Under the soulmates’ reign, our ancestors knew peace and prosperity.”

His lip curled back in disgust. “Until a pair of ungrateful fae squandered their gift of true, everlasting love. They chose immortality, an unnatural state of being, as a way to perpetuate their bond. They are the reason humans hunt us. Every pair of soulmates born since has been a curse upon this valley. Their union brings war, death, and destruction—a punishment from Gaia for allowing the vampire plague to spread in this world.”

I didn’t know what to say. The part of me that was Zosia hadn’t heard this story before and had no reason to doubt the king’s twisted version. The Zara part of knew there was more to Nicasia and Ambrose’s story.

Crushing weight landed on my chest, and I had a hard time catching my breath. King Orrin watched me knowingly, doing nothing to ease my anxiety.

“Now do you understand, Zosia?”

I did. Both she and I finally understood the truth, and neither of us had wanted to hear it. Tears stung the backs of my eyeballs. I tried to blink them back so the king wouldn’t see, but it was as useless as telling the sun not to rise.

“Cry, child. Mourn your loss. I do not underestimate the magnitude of the sacrifice that you are making—your heart for an entire kingdom. As a fae, you will feel Gaia’s mark upon your soul, as will my son. After the bonding ceremony, his love for you will transfer to Illiana.”

His words were like a dagger slicing my heart. Ending my relationship with Stavros was bad enough. Knowing he would love another with the entirety of his being broke me. I clutched my chest and sobbed, rocking back and forth in the chair so violently that I eventually fell forward onto my knees in front of his desk.

The king watched me with a neutral expression, not an ounce of sympathy for my plight. “My son knows nothing of the true bond between you. Keep it that way when you tell him it is over. I rarely give second chances, but I am giving you one because you are young and didn’t know the devastation your love would cause. However, your disobedience cannot go unpunished. Our arrangement still stands. End it with my son, and you will make it to the end of the games and keep our kingdom safe from the curse of your bond. But while he exchanges vows with Illiana and experience a love like no other, you will feel Gaia’s mark on your soul forever.”

He sneered down at me, enjoying my torment. “It is proper manners to thank your king for his generosity and, in your case, discretion.”

Hatred made my blood boil as I looked up at him through swollen, tear-filled eyes. “Thank you, Your Majesty, for your generosity and discretion,” I repeated, voice devoid of emotion.

“Good girl. Now pull yourself together.”

The doors opened as King Orrin returned to the chair behind his desk and resumed writing on a fresh piece of parchment. Two guards entered and hauled me to my feet, dragging me from the king’s private chambers when my legs refused to work right.

In the memory, Zosia went numb as the shock of it all took over. Thousands of years later, I felt sick. Selfishness ultimately hadn’t played a part in my decision to end things with Stavros. If anything, the act was selfless, particularly given King Orrin’s promise to leave me pining for a mate that would never be mine.

Zosia hadn’t known that Zeno would pick her or that the bonding ceremony would transfer her love for Stavros to her new mate. Since I had seen that memory already, I did know, and both the king and queen had seemed pleased with the match. And not at all surprised when Zeno made his selection.

Had the king told Zeno to pick me? Why? What had changed his mind?