Chapter 8

Cassandra could not settle. He had dropped her home, and they sat there out on the driveway, not really saying anything. They had left the parking lot of the fast-food restaurant, and he had driven her home in silence.

She had sat there, staring out the passenger window, her mind in turmoil. She knew what was happening between them and the best thing to do was to call it quits. She should stop while it was possible to do so.

But she did not want to.

"Should I apologize?" His deep voice had jarred her from her troubled thoughts and had her looking at him.

"Do you want to?" She asked softly.

"No." His voice was abrupt, brusque, an expressionless look on his handsome face. "I have wanted to do it since the very first time I laid eyes on you."

She sucked in a breath and thought about telling him that the feeling was mutual. But he rushed on, not giving her a chance. "What does this mean to us?"

"I don't know." She confessed and she genuinely meant it. "We are different."

He laughed, the sound far from being amused. "That's an understatement if ever there was one. Look, if you don't want to see me again, I will respect your decision as difficult as that that would be."

"I want to see you again."

He stared at her in silence for a few ticking seconds before dragging his hands over his face. "Good." He whispered harshly. "Because I would have been unable to accept that decision. I am not going to force you into anything, and I am not willing to…," he waved a hand vaguely and petered off into silence.

"You are not willing to attend services or bend towards my religion." She sucked in a breath.

"I have never felt this strongly about anyone before. My life was extremely difficult." He drew in a breath. "I am not saying that to have you feeling sorry for me. I am past it. I did some awful things that are not worth going into. I should tell you to run the opposite direction." He stared at her in that intense way of his.

"Being with me will have you thrown completely into the limelight, and I am not certain that is a good idea where you are concerned." Turning his head away, he stared out the window and she had a feeling he was fighting an inward battle.

"But I can't stay away." She knew it was very difficult for him to admit that. "So, we'll deal with it." He turned to look at her, eyes wandering over her face and settling on her lips. Blowing out a breath, he reached over to unhook her seatbelt. "Go inside Cassandra, now."

She had scrambled from the car and raced inside the cottage and slammed the door shut. When she peered outside the window, he was gone. An attempt to calm her rising pulse and shaking of her limbs, she had plunked the kettle on and tried to drink some herbal tea. Then she had switched to wine, which in hindsight had been a bad idea.

Then she had tried taking a calming hot bath but had given up in frustration. Now she was sitting in the spare bedroom she used as her office and was unable to concentrate on the Bible on the desk. The words were running together, and she could not stop thinking about him. He was right, she should be running in the opposite direction.

He was Evan Davenport, and she was Cassandra Daley. She had never yearned for stardom. She had a very good voice and was careful to give God the honor and glory and not consider that it was on her. It wasn't.

All good and perfect gifts come from Him. She was happy and that was not mouthing platitudes. She was genuinely happy. She had a relationship with her Lord and Savior and was not missing out on anything the world had to offer. She had been praying for directions in her life and she was granted that.

When other young people were struggling to find their place in ministry, it had been pointed out to her at a very early age.

She had gravitated to singing and felt a pull to teach Sunday school. She loved children and found herself very excited whenever she had to prepare for classes. Her class loved her, and she loved them. She found herself looking forward to teaching them. She oversaw choir practice and was mostly the solo lead.

Her responsibilities would be considered daunting if she was not enjoying herself. Her days and most nights were filled, but she struck a balance. She enjoyed art and found the time to go out with friends. She had never really been on a date because she had never met anyone, she wanted to spend alone time with, until now.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes, but not to pray. To remember. To bring up the image of him – at the gallery, the parking lot of Wendy's where he had laughed at her jokes and eaten the burger with enthusiasm.

"You never had a burger before?"

"I have never been to a fast-food restaurant before," he had corrected her.

"Not even in college?" He had laughed at her shocked look.

"No. I was brought up by several strict codes of conduct. Ironically, when it comes to other things, I was given a pass. But one of the things was that I stay away from these fast-food chains."

"I see we have a lot of catching up to do."

He grinned at her. "What do you suggest, Ms. Daley?"

"We have several more to sample. The Dairy Queen is up the road and not to mention Sonic and Burger King."

"You are determined to educate me."

"I am going to make it my mission in life. How about being on a picnic?"

He pretended to think on it. "When my mother was alive."

"That was a long time ago."

"Are you planning on preparing a basket?"

She nodded. "As soon as we find the time."

"Where?"

"The park, she had told him with a grin.

But that might not be such a good idea. He was right. They would be spotlighted. She could just see the headlines now: ‘Playboy and CEO of troubled company seeking solace and redemption from churchgoing female, Cassandra Daley.'

She could not afford that kind of notoriety. She taught impressionable kids. They looked up to her. She was a child of God. She could not be with a man like him in public and go to church on Sunday and settle into her usual mode.

People would stare at her and talk behind her back. But she wanted to be with him – so much so that it scared her. She was falling in love with him and tonight had proven that she was already halfway there.

The Bible spoke about being unequally yoked with unbelievers and he had bluntly told her that he had no intention of being swayed by her religion. She was going to pray for him, but she was wise enough to realize that she had to allow God's will to be done in her life.

Rubbing her temples where a headache was brewing, she started to pray.

*****

He experimented with cigarettes when he was in college. His father and uncle had both been chain smokers and he hated the habit. They had also been heavy drinkers as well. His alcohol intake was measured. He loved bourbon and had a high tolerance level when it came to drinking.

But he paced himself. He never wanted to be like them. They had tried their best to mold him into their image but had failed and when they realized that he was not as flat out in their kind of debauchery, they had turned against him.

His father had called him weak-willed and spineless. "I cannot believe you are my son!" He shouted. "Having one woman and showing how much you care will only lead to one thing. They will lead you by the nose."

Evan had not bothered to mention the fact that when his mother was alive, his father had been faithful to her. Nothing he did, had ever pleased the old man. He was constantly criticized. "You don't know how to run a company, and I pray that I will live long enough to teach you a thing or two."

His uncle had said the same thing to him as well when he took over. After he was put in charge, he was determined to prove them wrong, and he had.

Within a year of taking over the company, he had tripled their earnings and effectively turned the company around. The struggle with the bad reputation was still there, but he was proving himself to be a very fair and honest leader.

But until a couple of weeks ago, unhappiness had plagued him, following him everywhere he went. Nothing was satisfying anymore. His relationships were meaningless, and work was not enough anymore.

Until that day at the chapel, when he first laid eyes on her. She had a certain aura about her that was unmistakable. He had never met anyone like her. She was full of life and joie de vivre. She laughed a lot and had that sparkle in her eyes that told anyone how much she was enjoying her life.

He had been with too many women to count and had never met anyone with such a zest for living. The women he was used to were ones who had money and position in society, but other than a few of them, they were basically dissatisfied.

Crushing out the half-smoked cigar, he rose slowly and wandered over to the window. He never thought of any place as home. Certainly not the ugly manor that had been in their family for generations.

It was too big and very difficult to maintain. As soon as his uncle passed away, he had put the place up for sale and it was now being turned into a museum. His loft was not luxurious, not by most standards. It was more functional, than cozy or even showy.

The master bedroom was decorated in series of gold and brown and very masculine. He had a personal shopper because he hated the job of picking out clothes. It was too time consuming, and he had too much on his plate.

He had a housekeeper who came in when he was already at the office. He barely recalled her name. She was very competent and had his meals waiting whenever he was home for dinner, which was not often.

He did not spend a lot of time at his loft, because he traveled. Staring out the window, he noticed that it had started raining hard enough to send the rivulets of water cascading on the window.

He stared at it for a minute, hypnotized by the ribbons of water. Leaning his forehead on the cool pane of glass, he closed his eyes as he remembered how she felt towards him.

She was so tiny and fitted him so perfectly. He could bring up the taste and feel of her in his arms and it had been the hardest thing for him to let her go. Commonsense had reared its head and battled with a desire so strong, it had left him shaken.

On the drive home, he had a strong pep talk raging inside his head, but as soon as he drove into her driveway, his resolve to stay away from her had taken a severe beating. He could not stay away from her. She was the type of woman who would want marriage and a stable home, but he was not there. He doubted he ever would be.

So, where did that leave them? His conscience had started up again. She was an innocent; he would bet every dollar that she was untouched. He could not in all honesty treat her the way he treated the other women he had been involved with.

In the past and with them, it had been physical. With her, it was not. It was so much more than that. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that something substantial and amazing was happening between them.

She would want to change him, and he could not afford that. "I never believed in you." He whispered. "You took away the only good thing in my life. You took my mother away and left me with people who made my life a living hell. I don't know what to do about her.

I would never hurt her, and I know you probably don't think I am good enough for her and you would be right. But I need her. For the first time in my life, I need another person, and I don't know what the hell to do.

I know you are not listening to a word I am saying, but I need her." Opening his eyes, he lifted his head to the ceiling. "Do you hear me! I am not letting her go. Call me selfish, but I am hooked." His shout echoed around the room. Leaning back, he laughed shakily and wondered if he was going crazy.

*****

She was in the middle of her high note when he walked in, and she stumbled and had to scramble to keep up. Holding her gaze and ignoring the eyes turning his way, he came forward and sat at the front where several elderly ladies made room for him with welcoming smiles.

He hadn't told her he would be attending, and she had not asked, not wanting him to think that she was pressuring him. She had no idea where this was going and did not dare hope that it would go anywhere.

But his being here without any prompting from her, filled her with so much joy that she found herself focusing on him as she sang hauntingly about God's amazing grace.

Seated between two white-haired ladies who smelled pleasantly of lavender and peppermint, Evan stared at her and felt the glow filling his heart. He had wrestled with the decision last night and this morning about attending services. He had not slept much, and the three cups of coffee had him energized and weary at the same time.

But now he was here, and he did not regret the decision.

"She is so sweet, and her voice reminds me of an angel."

The woman to his left had him dragging his eyes reluctantly to look at her. "I have never heard an angel sing." He said the first thing that came to his mind.

The woman gave him a look of disapproval. "If you listen closely at nights, you can hear them. Our Cassie sounds like one."

"I will take your word for it."

The woman thankfully ignored him, so he was able to turn his attention back to the woman under discussion.

She had started on another song, this one talking about Jesus' journey to the cross to take away the sin of mankind. The song was upbeat, and he watched in admiration her graceful footwork as she moved from one end of the raised dais to the next.

The others stayed in place, but the woman who had started to change his life did no such thing. Her pleated green and blue dress swirled around her legs as she gyrated to the music.

Her dark brown eyes sparkled, and her happiness was so contagious, she had the congregation jumping up and down. Her hair was loose, the thick dark brown curls bouncing around her shoulders.

Her energy was so amazing that it had him wondering how such a tiny thing could appear so large.

By the time she had finished the song, he had automatically and unconsciously risen to his feet, clapping along with the rest of them.

His heart was swelling so much inside his chest, he felt as if it was bursting. His throat felt tight, and he had to swallow several times to get rid of the lump that had settled inside his throat.

"What an amazing God we serve!" She spoke with such happiness and enthusiasm, she had almost everyone agreeing with him. They were instructed to sit while she went behind the pulpit.

"I have been asked to make the announcements, so here goes. It's almost the end of summer and our young people are going back to school. Several are even going off to college.

I have been prevailed on as usual to share my advice and caution. I was a nerd in high school and college, and it was all about studying for me. I was on a scholarship, so keeping up with my grades was of monumental importance for me."

She looked around the large room, her gaze touching on Evan briefly, before moving away. "I am not here to preach because I am going to leave that task to our very able pastor. But the most important thing about all of this is we have to remember our principles and our religion.

Who will be watching us every step of the way, not because He is looking for an excuse to swing the hammer, but because He promised never to leave us. Parents will not be there, our pastor will not be, but we are not here to please people. We are here to please the Lord." She shook her head with a laugh.

"I promised not to preach, and I broke that promise." She waited for the laughter to stop, before welcoming the visitors in their midst. She did not single him out and he was happy about it, but he could feel the stares of people around him.

*****

"We have got to stop meeting like this." Her melodious voice had his body tightening, his heart racing. He had been talking to the pastor who had bluntly asked if was here because of ‘Cassie' or the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

"I am here because of Cassandra."

The man had started at his bluntness but had walked away without saying anything else.

Turning around, his eyes wandered over her exquisite face with an expression that told him how he was pleased to see her. She was holding a plate of cakes and fruits in her hand, which she handed to him. "I noticed you were not eating. Hi."

He wanted to scoop her into his arms and show her how pleased he was to see her.

"Hi." He had to clear his throat to get rid of the huskiness. "You are beautiful."

"Thanks."

They continued to stare at each other, unaware or uncaring of the curious looks thrown their way.

"And you look very dapper." She gestured to the tan trousers and navy-blue blazer over the white shirt.

"Just something I threw together." He grinned at her, suddenly feeling very young.

"I was wondering…"

"Yes?" He prompted when she stopped.

"How about a picnic?"

"Will there be watermelon?"

Her tapered brows lifted.

"Is that a condition?"

He pretended to think about it. "I am afraid so."

"I think I can find some."

"What time?"

"How about four? It will give me time to get everything ready."

"Any idea where we are going?"

"I know just the place. Come hungry."

"Oh, I will. Want me to bring the wine?"

"Yep." She handed him the plate and set about making one for herself. Touching his arm lightly, she nodded towards where some of her kids were gathered. "I want you to meet the team."

*****

"Ingrid!"

William stopped short on seeing his wife sitting behind his desk. He had walked the grounds with the property manager who was telling him about some problems with the plumbing.

And he had taken a moment to mull over the situation with Cassie and Evan Davenport. The man had come to services again and had admitted that he was there because of her.

He should talk to her, tell her to think about what she was doing, but he was unable to find the words.

"It feels different." She murmured, rotating the chair slightly.

"It's new. Cassie suggested that we get another because the leather of the old one was worn, and it was becoming uncomfortable."

"Good old Cassandra." A spiteful smile touched her lips. "She seemed to have men falling all over her. That handsome billionaire for instance who could not take his eyes off her."

Her eyes snapped to his face. "You should warn her that there will be talk."

"She knows what she is doing." He said stiffly. Feeling foolish about standing inside his own doorway, he entered and went to the table to pour a glass of water. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I have decided to go and visit our daughter."