1. Prologue

Seventeen years old (Before Brenden cursed him and Anwyll)

I'm not old enough to know about who is fated to me, but if my heart is anything to go by, I know the woman meant for me is Elouise. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember.

Our friendship is forbidden. If others knew, we would never be able to see each other again. Even if we have been trying to come to a truce with her kind for years.

She's a vampire.

I'm a werewolf.

We are natural enemies due to how dangerous a werewolf bite is to her kind, but I'd never hurt her. I'd take my own life before risking hers. I long for her more than I do the night, the moon, and the stars combined. She is my solace when my beast slashes at my chest for strife.

My werewolf has always had more violent tendencies than others, especially my brother, Anwyll. He is gentle. He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Me? I want to cause pain. I have a rage inside me that is so different than anyone in my family. I always feel like I'm on the edge of the disease werewolves get when they do not meet their fated mate in time.

And there are only two people who keep that want to destroy at bay.

My little brother and Elouise.

Loving her, falling in love with her, wasn't planned. Loving her is a mistake, I know that. My feelings for Elouise are a different type of pain. I can never mate her. I can never bind her to me like I truly want the moment we turn of age.

My bite would put her into a coma, and only the blood of her beloved could wake her.

I'm not her beloved.

She's not my fated mate.

If I give into my selfish feelings, I'll only have her temporarily before she is lost in a coma with no way of waking her.

But that's only if I bite her. What if we could be happy for the rest of our lives? We could grow old together, choose each other, and have kids— I blush at the thought.

We could be together forever.

All I have to do is stop myself from leaving a mark. I can do that. I'm strong enough to fight the urge.

"What's on your mind, Aziel?" Mom asks, setting a plate of fresh meat in front of me. This is the deer that my father and I killed together last night. She sighs, "I know you don't want to learn about sex. Your father was the same way when he was young. Now, look at him. He's Alpha of the pack and has heirs. It's going to happen to you too when you become Alpha. You need to know these things if you are to keep the pack alive. The sex talk is awkward, but you'll need to know. Werewolf anatomy is very different and—"

I hold up my hand to stop her. "No offense Mom, but I'd rather learn from the pack doctor. Not from you or Dad. Especially, Dad."

Mom chuckles. "That's fair."

I stare down at my plate again, thankful I have avoided that conversation with my mother, and watch the blood ooze from the red center, dripping onto the plate. My stomach growls, reminding me I haven't eaten yet this evening. My mind is too preoccupied with the new plan to make Elouise mine.

"So? Then what is on your mind?" she prods.

Typical.

"Nothing. I think I'm just tired is all." I stab the thick piece of venison with my claw, ripping into it with my canines. My mind is still on Elouise, not even the blood coating my tongue brings me out of my trance.

I'm too excited to see her tonight. We see each other four times a week and it isn't enough, not anymore. I need more. My thoughts are invaded by her, when I open my eyes in the morning and close them at night, her name echoes on repeat in my mind.

My heart beats faster just at the mere hope of seeing her. Her voice, soft and sweet, has me breathing easier.

I'm completely in love, and I want us to be together forever. If I tell my parents or anyone else about her, they will just say it is "teenage love" and it won't last.

I don't even care.

I'll give everything up if it means I have Elouise all to myself.

Mom pushes my plate away, sits down, and takes my hands.

Oh, no.

She doesn't believe me. I know this move.

"Aziel." She dips her head then slides her fingers under my chin, giving me no choice but to meet her gaze. Her bright golden eyes shine, filled with love, and guilt pierces my gut for the thousandth time.

Not guilt from falling in love with a vampire but that I'm keeping the truth from my family.

"I am your mother, and I know you find it shocking that you think I have no idea when something is bothering you, but I can feel it. What is weighing you down, baby?"

"Mom, I'm not a baby," I grumble, irked she always calls me that.

"You'll always be my baby," she scoffs, slapping the top of my hand lightly. "Talk to me. Don't get proud. Pride is the one thing that will destroy everything you've ever wanted for yourself. Don't ever be too proud to talk about what is bothering you. It doesn't make you weak."

I swallow, the words right there in my throat to tell her. "I'm not ready to talk about it, Mom, but when I am, you'll be the first I come to."

Her eyes soften with understanding, her soft, gentle hand cupping my cheek. "You're so grown it's almost hard to believe you were once a little pup I bounced on my legs. Now you're working through big emotions because now you're an adult, and your world is so much larger. It's tough to balance them all. I'm so proud of you. When you're ready, I'll be here, okay?"

I nod, placing my hand over hers. "I know." My eyes drift to the clock on the wall, noticing I only have twenty minutes to meet Elouise at our spot.

"I'm going to go for my evening walk, Mom. It always helps me clear my head."

She stands, grabbing the curve of my shoulder before patting it. "Just be—"

"—Careful." I grin at her. "I know, Mom. I always am."

"And I want you back before—"

"—The sunrises." I roll my eyes with a smile this time. She always tells me the same thing before I go for my "walk".

"You think you're so smart," she teases, slapping me lightly on the arm. "Take your meat to go then. I don't want you to be hungry."

I stab the slab of deer flesh with my claw and lift it into the air. "Thanks, Mom. Love you!" I open the door and run outside, nearly slamming into Anwyll.

"I love you too!" she shouts.

"Anwyll." I pick him up and set him inside. He growls at me, showing me his sharp teeth. He hates it when I pick him up like a baby. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings. I could have stepped on you."

He morphs into his human form, shoving me in the shoulders. I barely move from his attempt.

"It's you who was in my way! You came barreling out of the house. Don't always put the blame on me." He stomps away into his bedroom and slams the door.

"These teen years might just be the death of me when it comes to the two of you."

I grab the doorknob and smile. "You're doing great, Mom. He's just a brat." I raise my voice so he can hear me.

He groans before yelling. "No, you're a brat! God, just leave me alone, Aziel!"

"Stop it." Mom shoos me out of the house. "Now you're aggravating him on purpose."

"He started it," I try to defend myself as she pushes me out the door.

"And I'll finish it, young man. Stop pushing your little brother. You know his werewolf hormones are insane right now, and teasing him doesn't help."

"It helps me," I mumble under my breath.

She narrows her eyes at me, shaking a finger. "I wonder what your father will think of that statement."

"I'm going." I lift my hands in surrender, backing away from the frustrated mother werewolf. "But you love me."

"Don't remind me." She gives me a crooked smile. "Now, stop causing trouble and go on your walk. I hope it helps clear your head."

I give her a final wave just as she blows me a kiss. I'm lucky to have such great parents. Unlike my friends, I actually like hanging with my mom and dad. Our relationship seems different than the others I've seen. My family is accepting. I have no doubts that if they knew about Elouise, they would welcome her. They would be unsure, yes, but they only want my happiness.

The issue is the rest of the pack.

I take my clothes off, anchor them to my leg, and shift into my werewolf form. I'm nearly fully grown, but I still have odd baby hair around my neck, proof that I'm young. I'm bigger than most of the other werewolves in the pack, probably due to my alpha line heritage.

Once I get to the tree line, I glance over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching me. All the houses are close together, smoke coming out of the chimneys, pups playing in the distance, and a few old weres are on their porch's smoking a pipe, but they aren't paying any mind to me.

I quietly fall to my hands, careful to avoid any twigs or leaves so I don't bring attention to myself. I sink into the darkness, my night vision allowing me to see every tree or log I need to dodge.

The forest itself is quiet, the prey becoming silent as a predator invades their space. I toss the meat my mother gave me into my mouth, chewing on it loudly, the bone breaking with every hard bite.

A tree branch tickles my side as I move along the trail I've made to the other side of the forest.

Our territory ends here.

There's a meadow in between where I stand and a different forest that isn't patrolled by my pack, and that's where I meet Elouise.

Crouching, I step into the overgrown meadow with long pieces of wheat. With every step, the stems break under my heavy paws. The crickets chirping become more quiet with every second that passes.

I prowl, keeping low to the ground to remain unseen. My heart hammers when I reach the tree line. I look back to make sure no one has followed me, the long wheat swaying from the breeze and disguising the path I took.

Instead of going through the forest, I go around, choosing a dangerous path. To my right is the start of a steep cliff. The terrain becomes rocky, the tips of the rocks threatening to pierce the pads of my paws.

The small rocks turn to boulders the further I travel, and I jump from one to the other. The stars aren't out tonight, but a crescent moon is out, its glow illuminating the different shades of colors in the sky.

I stop when the scent of lilacs and citrus flutters through the air and into my lungs.

Elouise.

I jump from boulder to boulder faster, digging my claws into the rocks so I don't fall to my death.

That would really suck.

I follow the aroma I smell when we aren't together. I found if I focus on our memories long enough, her scent drifts across my nose, igniting all the times we have spent together. I could be in bed, unable to sleep, and the barest scent of her perfume drifts into my room at her memory.

I breathe in and out from the exertion, my muscles aching from the climb, but it's all worth it when I get to "The Lookout Point."

It's at the very top of the cliff. The surface is smooth enough to walk on, the ground still made of stone, and near where the cliff turns into a sharp point is an oversized log we sit on to enjoy the view.

The view that allows us to see all the territories in the area. Everything about it is beautiful, and I wouldn't share this view with anyone else. It belongs to us.

To the left, the forest creeps onto the cliff, and to the right where the edge of the cliff is, sits Elouise.

"I didn't think you'd show," she says without turning around.

She can smell me.

"Like I'd ever miss a night with you, Louie." She hates it when I call her that, but I think it's different, just like she is.

I shift into my human form, a form I don't like to choose most of the time. Werewolves have three bodies.

Human. Humanoid. Werewolf.

I personally love my humanoid form, but since I've only ever hung out with Elouise as a human, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I quickly pull my clothes back on.

She finally turns, pressing her chin to her shoulder to look at me. A large smile stretches across her face, an expression of pure happiness. Standing, the tight curls of her obsidian hair bounce, and the moonlight falls upon the rich dark tourmaline of her skin, solidifying that she is a unique, gorgeous, one-of-a-kind jewel.

She is flawless.

Elouise uses her vampire speed, blurring to me before I can even take a step closer. Her arms wrap around me, holding me tight, and damn, I don't miss a second to do the same.

A grumble purrs in my chest as I hold her, her body fitting perfectly against mine. I never want to let her go. She feels too good, too right, too perfect.

We will last forever. I don't know how, but I'll make it happen.

Seconds turn to minutes as we hold one another. Eventually, Elouise pulls away first, she has to, considering it will never be me who chooses to put space between us.

She peers up at me through long lashes. Her hand lands on my chest, the touch sending my heart into a fast beat. My throat becomes dry, wondering if this is the moment that I've been waiting for.

I want to kiss her.

We have never crossed that line. It's been stolen touches and laughs, but never more.

I tug on one of her curls, watching it stretch as I pull it straight, then let it go just to see it bounce in place. My fingers have a mind of their own, moving from her hair to the soft skin of her cheek.

Back and forth I drag my oversized fingers up her high cheekbones, watching her eyes flutter when she leans into my touch.

"Look at me," I plead desperately, needing her gaze locked on me.

When she does, I can't breathe. I can't think.

Her eyes are portals of golden sunsets, and all I want to do is travel her soul to feel what she feels.

"You are stunning. The heavens have nothing on you, Elouise. You are…" I try to think of the right word. "Everything," I whisper on an exhale.

"Aziel." My name is soft, light, and sweet escaping her lips.

My finger grazes down her jaw, so delicate, so fragile, and all I want to do is protect her.

"Elouise." I lean down slowly, daring to close the distance between us for the first time.

She inhales sharply, her fingers digging into my shirt.

I step closer, wrapping one arm around her waist to pull her against me. My free hand cups the side of her neck and she angles her head up, giving me more access to her lips.

We steal glances at each other the closer our lips become, each of us wondering if the other will go through with the kiss.

Someone will have to kill me before I miss this moment. There isn't a chance in hell that will keep me from feeling her lips against mine. I've dreamed about this moment for years.

"Aziel," she breathes, her voice shaking with nerves and uncertainty. Her palms slip down my chest and I growl, loving her hands on me.

"Elouise," I say quietly before finally pressing my lips to hers.

The entire world stops spinning as her lips give against mine, so full, so plump, and my mind comes to a complete stop. All I can focus on is her and how good she feels.

My hand drifts down her neck, swooping around her shoulder until I'm grasping her nape.

She breaks the kiss, gasping for breath. "I haven't ever kissed—"

"—Me either." I slam my mouth on her again, devouring her as if I'm seeking her soul.

Our lips move together so naturally. Nothing about it is difficult. My heart hammers in my chest, the beast inside me wanting to rip from my skin to howl and celebrate.

My tongue slips against hers tentatively, once, twice, before she gets the courage to do the same. I moan, my claws extending to grip her by the roots of her hair.

I'm losing control of myself.

She wraps her arms around my neck and jumps, wrapping her legs around my waist. Tightening my arm around her to make sure she doesn't fall; I deepen our connection.

My hands splay across the middle of her back, and we kiss until we can't breathe, barely allowing ourselves to pull away to suck in much-needed air.

Her forehead falls on mine, her hands grazing either side of my face.

"I love you," I admit, and she leans back, staring at me in disbelief.

Her eyes widen in shock.

"I do. I love you. I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you when we were kids playing where we weren't supposed to. Here. Right here. It all started with you in this exact spot, and Elouise, I want it to always be us. We can't be together if we choose to stay here."

"I love you too, Aziel. I love you so much. I can't imagine life without you."

Every single dream I've ever conjured when thinking of us is coming true.

"What are you saying?" she asks, her golden gaze darting across my face.

"Let's run away, Louie. You and Me. Let's be together. Forever. It can just be us. No… no rules, no parents telling us we can't be together because of who we are. No more hearing about why vampires and werewolves don't intermingle. No more negativity." I take her hand in mine, place it on my chest, and allow her to feel every beat. "I'm for you, Louie. I'm yours. Every beat, I'm obsessed with you. You don't understand how far my need for you goes. I'll do anything for us. So let's run. We can be our own family, and make our own rules. My love for you will never end, don't you see that? No matter what."

She slides off my body, standing in front of me, and she nibbles on her bottom lip as questions fly through her mind. "But what if you bite me, Aziel? We know what werewolf bites do to vampires and there is no cure. What then?"

"I won't bite you."

"You don't know that—"

"—I know." I hit my chest with my fist. "I am in control of me. I know I won't bite you because I don't want to hurt you. I won't bite you, no matter how hard it is to control myself. If I have to restrain myself for days, I will. I would never hurt you. Ever. I'd rather die, Louie."

"Don't say that," she says, tears swimming in her eyes.

"It's true." I become desperate for her to understand just how deeply I care about her. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. I'll protect you with my life. I know—" I swallow, my own emotions bubbling up my throat. "I know we aren't mates, but why does that matter? I love you. That's all that matters."

"You really love me? Really?"

"I can't remember a day where I didn't." I drop my forehead against hers, then rub the tip of my nose against hers.

"What would we do? Where would we go?"

I smile, showing my fangs. "We can go anywhere. We can do anything. I don't care where we go as long as I'm with you, I'll be happy."

She blows out a nervous breath. "When?"

"Tomorrow night. We'll meet here. I've been saving for a few years now, to get us on our feet."

"You've saved for this? You've known all this time?"

"I planned my entire life the first time I saw you, Louie. None of this world makes sense if I don't have you by my side."

"Okay."

I blink at her, rearing back in shock. "Okay? Okay, okay? Or just okay?" I search her eyes for an answer.

"Okay, okay," she giggles. "Yes. Yes! Let's go. Let's run away. Let's be together."

I shout in victory, lift her off the ground, and spin her around. My cheeks hurt from how hard I'm smiling. Tears spring to my eyes.

A sharp pain hits my back, causing me to roar in agony.

"Aziel? Aziel! What's—" Louie peers over my shoulder, the gorgeous amber tones in her skin lose their vibrance. "Dad," she whispers in horror.

Her eyes drift to red when she tugs the dart from my shoulder before I set her down gently. I snag the dart from her and bring it to my nose, sniffing to see what he drugged me with.

Wolfsbane.

I snarl, shifting into my humanoid form, and push her behind me.

"Don't worry, Wolf. I didn't put enough wolfsbane in the dart to kill you, just enough for you to pass out, so I can get my daughter away from you."

"You'll…" My head begins to swim. "You'll never take her from me."

"Dad, I love him! He's a good man, please."

"It's okay." I take her hand in mine just as I fall to my knees, the wolfsbane pumping through my veins. "We'll be okay."

"Aziel? No. Look at me. Aziel?" She shakes my shoulders, and just as I open my eyes, her dad is behind her.

"Louie," her nickname is gravel in my throat as I try to warn her.

"Let's go, Elouise. You're forbidden from seeing this fucking wolf again, do you understand?"

"Dad, no. Please, you don't understand," she sobs, fighting the hold he has on her, and she wins.

Elouise runs to me, falling to her knees, and she holds my hands. "I love you. I love you so much."

"Elouise, that's enough!" Master Durand, her dad, orders her.

"Dad, please. I love him." She presses her cheek against my chest and with the little strength I have left, I kiss the top of her head.

"You'll learn to love someone else who can't damn you to a forever sleep. I won't risk my daughter because her heart is tricking her." He wraps his arms around her, yanking her away, and her hand slips down my arm to grab me.

My claws do the same, only I rake them down her forearm to grab a hold of her. Blood fills the air, and four gashes appear on her flesh.

"Aziel!" she screams for me. "Aziel!" My name is a brutal, soul-wrenching cry from her chest.

"Elouise." My entire body sways, my vision unreliable either due to the tears or wolfsbane, I'm not sure.

Most likely both.

"Elouise," I repeat, falling to my hands and knees.

I drag my body across the solid rock of the cliff, willing to do anything to have one less inch between us as her father takes her away.

"I love you! Aziel, I love you. Always!"

"I love you," I roar to the sky with every ounce of strength I have left, ending my proclamation on a savage, grief-stricken howl.

"Aziel!" she cries for me again, cries for me to save her, but I can't.

I fall to the ground in a hopeless, worthless heap. Tears break free, rolling down my cheek to quench the dry rock. "Elouise," I rasp her name, my claws grinding against the stone.

A foot lands on my back, flattening me to the ground. I manage to look up to see her dad's second-in-command, Dahveed, staring down at me with a smile. He has another dart in his hand, rolling it between his fingers.

"You are a stupid dog if you thought for one minute you'd ever have a chance of a life with her. You promised you wouldn't bite her, and that was not your promise to make." Dahveed grabs me by my hair, yanking my head back and off the rock's surface. "If you loved her, you'd stay away. And when she's of age, I'm going to make sure she is mine. Maybe when I'm fucking her, she'll think of you. That's the closest you'll ever get to feeling her body."

I snarl, snapping my jaws at him, and he stabs me in the neck with the dart.

"That should be enough for you to come to your senses, pup. When you wake up, she won't be here, and she'll never be here waiting for you again. Pretend you never met her because you will not see her again." He shoves my head against the rock so hard, I hear bones break. "You're lucky to make it out of this with your life." He stands, kicking my side for good measure before his footsteps become quieter.

Until I'm left alone, my mind drifting into darkness.

There is only one thing on my mind.

What life do I have now?

Without her, my life has no meaning. I'd rather die than live another day without Elouise. We're young, I know, but love knows no boundaries. Being young allowed us to live the rest of our lives together.

If I can't have that, if I can't have her, then I want nothing this world has to offer except death.

And I won't hesitate to do it myself.