31. Almost Had Me Fooled

31

Almost Had Me Fooled

Teal

I dig a leaf out of my hair, tossing it to the side as we make our way up the hill to my parents’ cabin. My entire body aches, and my throat is raw from screaming. There are marks around my neck from where the belt rubbed my skin, and I’m thankful I chose a sweater with a higher neckline so they’re mostly hidden by that and my hair.

“We shouldn’t go to the party now. They’ll know what we did.”

“You should be proud.” Declan smirks, picking a leaf out of my hair. “That performance was beautiful.”

“While I appreciate the compliment, my parents might not like that you just fucked their daughter in the forest.” I roll my eyes.

“That’s on them.” Declan wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. “Besides, they’re the outliers. I’m sure some of the people up on that hill wouldn’t mind watching to see if they could learn a thing or two. The way you beg for me is awfully poetic.”

Declan glances across the dark yard to Jase, who’s standing with a group of people laughing. His gaze meets mine, and I immediately break eye contact when he sees me staring.

“Aren’t you worried Jase will hate you at the end of this?”

“Why would I care?” Declan scoffs.

“He’s one of your initiates.”

“I don’t care what my initiates think of me. That's the perk of being the president.”

“Isn’t that the point, though? Shouldn’t they respect you?”

“Respect and like aren’t the same thing. They can hate me for all I care, so long as they understand the cause and do what’s needed to protect it.”

“You make it sound like you’re going into battle.”

Declan shrugs, and I don’t know what to make of the fact that he didn’t deny that.

“I just don’t want to come between you and your friends.”

Declan stops, turning me to face him. “First of all, Jase is not my friend. And second, you can’t come between me and anything in my eyes. If you could, they weren’t friends in the first place.”

“So Kole…”

“Understands you come first. ”

The warmth that rushes through me at his declaration fills every pore.

“If it bothers Jase, he can drop out of initiation.” Declan grazes my jaw with his hand. “But if he’s smart, he knows the House comes before his personal feelings. Which means that so long as you’re mine, he needs to get the fuck over it.”

“You sound like my father.” I frown. “The House above all, no matter who suffers because of it.”

“I’m nothing like your father.” Declan’s jaw clenches.

“You are when it comes to Sigma Sin. There’s nothing you won’t trade. Nothing you won’t do.” I plant my hand on his chest, over the place where I know the letter E is hidden by his T-shirt.

Proof of his devotion to the House. Blood for blood.

From what I’ve gathered, every member marks the passing of trials in different ways. My father has tallies on the back of his shoulder, but Declan opted for a word carved into his chest. A letter for each trial passed.

I trace them out of memory and get to the letter T before Declan grabs my wrist, stopping me.

“You have no idea what I’m loyal to, Teal. You’re proof of that.”

“Drinks!” Maddox’s voice interrupts us, so I don’t have a chance to ask Declan what he means by that.

I don’t know Maddox any better than I know Kole, but from what I’ve gathered, he and Declan are pretty close. All I know is I don’t like how he scans my entire body when he sees me. Half the time, he watches me like I’m a threat, and the other half, he looks like he’s waiting for Declan to share me with him.

Maddox holds out two shots, and Declan takes them both, not handing one to me because I can’t drink it. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t at war with the chemicals in my head so I could just be like everyone else here.

Declan downs one shot, then the other.

“Ready to party?” Maddox grins, amused. “We’re playing cornhole, come on.”

Maddox waves for us to join them, and Declan stacks the empty shot glasses as we follow him.

“Want to play?” Declan asks, and I shake my head. “Tired?”

“No.” I lie because I am tired from what we just did, but I don’t want to ruin his fun. “You want to go hang out, so let’s hang out.”

“I want to do whatever you want to do.”

“Don’t leave it up to me, Declan, or we’ll never leave my studio.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He winks.

“Are you ever not thinking about sex?”

“With you? Nope.”

“Fair enough.” I roll my eyes. “But we’re already here, so go play. Have fun. We don’t have to stay long.”

“Whatever you say.” Declan leads me over to where a group of students are playing cornhole.

Everyone here is a product of Sigma Sin in one way or another. A member, an initiate, or a child of one. It’s unnerving .

Declan kisses the back of my hand when Maddox calls him up next.

“You good?”

“Yeah.” I force a smile. “Go.”

He waits until I nudge his hand, urging him away. And as I watch him walk away, the sense that we’re fleeting settles around me again. I’m not the girl who can sit comfortably at his side at parties. I can barely manage it in the middle of the forest at my parents’ cabin. This mask of a girl I’m trying to wear is scratching at what’s beneath, and pretty soon, I’m going to get the urge to start picking at it.

While Declan makes his way over to the game, I take a seat at one of the loungers facing the game.

Declan’s grin stretches his entire face as his first beanbag makes it in the hole, and he winks at me when he notices I saw it. The confidence that bleeds from his pores is intoxicating. It’s magnetic. And I’m not the only one who sees it.

The girl on Maddox’s arm eyes Declan’s every move. She cheers for every toss and smiles wider when he glances over at her.

She’s pretty. Her strawberry-blonde hair is in a loose bun, and her cheeks are peppered with freckles. She looks like someone Declan’s dad would approve of. She’s a ray of sunshine, while I’m a rain cloud.

“Water?”

I look up to see Jase standing over me, holding out a water bottle.

“Thanks.” I take it .

Jase drops into the lounger beside me. “I saw you skip on the booze and thought you might be thirsty.”

“Alcohol doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Got it.” Jase glances from me to the game. “I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle of this.”

I look over at him. “Are you?”

“I’m not a total asshole, Teal. So yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but you seem a little too happy to be playing along to be convincing.” I shrug.

“Did Declan tell you that?”

“No.” My eyebrows pinch, and I wonder what conversations the two of them have had about me. “But you’re not trying to stop this, so I don’t know why you’re trying to pretend you care.”

“Tell me something, Teal. What are you doing to try and stop it? I’m in the same position you are.”

“I’m dating Declan.”

“Sure you are.” Jase chuckles, taking a sip of his drink.

“What are you implying?” I glare at him. “That my relationship is a lie?”

Jase leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and watches the game. “Only you can answer that question, but you’re getting pretty defensive if it isn’t.”

“Maybe I’m defensive because I don’t like what you’re insinuating.”

“I’m just telling you how it looks.” He glances over at me. “And what I’ve heard.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

Jase leans back in his chair, and when Declan looks at him from across the yard, the air cools like there’s a storm brewing on the horizon. Declan watches him, clearly not happy Jase is sitting by me, even if he doesn’t make a move to do anything about it.

It isn’t until the blonde knocks Declan on the arm to let him know it’s his turn that he breaks eye contact.

“What have you heard?” I ask again, and it’s nearly a whisper this time.

“Nothing.” Jase shakes his head. “Forget I said anything.”

“Really?” I glare. “You can’t take it back now. Just say it.”

Jase rakes his hand into his hair. “Declan’s dad is cutting a deal with yours as we speak. Bargaining campaign donations if Declan will stop meddling.”

“Meddling?”

“Dating you and preventing the Ivans and Donovans’ business merger.”

It’s never sounded less romantic than how Jase says it.

“So you’re saying Ian Pierce is using me to shake down my father for campaign money?” My stomach turns as I consider it.

“Are you surprised?”

Declan’s father uses anyone and everyone to his advantage. We’re stepping stones in Ian Pierce’s grand scheme to someday be president. So, no, I’m not surprised.

But if Jase is right, Declan has been lying to me.

I thought Declan’s father was just as upset as mine—that he was going against them both. If what Jase is saying is true, then Declan has been colluding with his father all along. Using me in a massive scheme where Ian Pierce uses his son to squeeze my father for money. Not only that, but he’s promised that the second he’s done, Declan is going to leave me.

It makes sense now why Jase doesn’t see our relationship as a threat.

Jase could be fucking with my head, but his expression is deadly serious, and I don’t sense any hints of a lie in his tone.

What’s real?

What’s not?

What’s the truth?

What’s me losing my mind?

“Why are you telling me this?” My water bottle crinkles in my tight grip. “If you think turning me against Declan will help your chances with me, it won’t.”

“We both know you and I don’t make those decisions, Teal.” He shakes his head. “I don’t need to turn you against him because it doesn’t matter. You’re a pawn, and so am I. Either way, we end up together.”

I swallow hard, knowing he’s right, as I choke back the lump lodged in my throat. My eyes burn as I pick at the dirt caked into my shorts.

“I’m telling you this because you deserve to know.” Jase reaches out for my hand and squeezes it. “You’re smart and beautiful and so much more than your family gives you credit for. So, when this all inevitably goes down—for better or worse—I figure the least you should be able to do is trust me.”

“I don’t trust anyone,” I tell him, standing up. “But thanks anyway. ”

Jase might be telling me this to turn me against Declan, but it doesn’t matter. He’s right. I know where this ends regardless of what Declan and I have promised each other. All I have to do is look around the yard for proof of it.

No one here is in it for love.

And certainly not a Pierce and Donovan.

“Teal.”

“It’s fine.” I wave Jase off, walking away.

My steps get faster the farther I go, and when I see Declan leave the game from the corner of my eye, I quicken my pace.

I don’t know who to trust, what’s real, or who might be lying to me.

“Teal.” It’s Declan calling for me this time.

The forest is starting to spin. The stars shine like orbs in the darkness, screaming as loud as the voices in my head. I’m scratching my forearm when a hand grabs me.

“Don’t.” I pull away, my heart racing.

“What did that asshole say to you?” Declan spins me to face him, and his tone is deadly.

“Nothing.” I try to walk away again, but he stops me, stepping in front of me this time.

“Teal—”

“He said your father is using the fact that you’re dating me to shake my father down for campaign money. Is that a lie?”

Declan’s jaw clenches as he shakes his head.

Part of me thought he’d reassure me or, at the very least, lie to me so I wouldn’t have to doubt us. I should have known he’s just one more person who thinks I’m too weak to handle it. Who is using the fact that I’m impressionable against me.

“So you were helping him all along?” I pull away from him.

“Not exactly.”

“Did you know about the deal your father made with mine or not?” I ask. “Did you know he was using me?”

Declan stands up tall. “I knew.”

“How long?”

His teeth clench, and he’s so quiet I hear birds chirping in the night.

“How long, Declan?” I’m yelling now.

“Since the night we showed up together at your father’s house.”

Swallowing my anger, I roll my shoulders back. “Did you know your father promised mine that you’d break up with me once he did what he was told?”

Declan nods.

“Of course you did.” I shake my head, digging my nails into my scalp. “You could have just left this as blackmail. Let me hate you and muddled through it. You didn’t have to pretend to care just to fuck with my head.”

“Teal—”

“What am I? One of your sick trials? Some test you need to pass as Sigma House President? Or worse, a game you’re playing just for the fun of it?” I cut him off, stepping back. “You almost had me fooled. Declan Pierce with a heart? I am insane.”

Turning away, the world spins around me .

How could I have let myself trust Declan? There’s nothing redeemable about a man who has made it his life’s mission to put me through hell. He hacked my secrets. He used them against me. He proved to be exactly who I thought he was.

Again.

“Teal, listen to me.” I hear him behind me, but I don’t stop.

If anything, I pick up pace, rushing away from the yard and around the house. I don’t know where I’m going, just that I need to leave. I can’t exist in this fake world they all create. A world of make-believe when it’s already hard enough to see what’s real and what’s imaginary.

My chest burns as I hurry toward the road. And that’s when I hear it. A horn in the silence as I freeze on the dotted line.

It slices like butter through the night.

Headlights cut around the corner.

A car.

A memory.

I’m frozen in the center as it drives straight toward me.