22. Falling Into A Black Hole

22

Falling Into A Black Hole

Declan

The main courtyard at Briar is always busy in the middle of the day. It’s an easy place to catch anyone you’re trying to run into accidentally .

Which is why I’m seated at one of the tables waiting with my feet kicked up. Watching and waiting for my colorful little minx to appear for her next class.

Teal has been avoiding me for the past twenty-four hours, and I’ve let her. I gave her space after her father’s party because that much social interaction makes her cagey, and it’s already hard enough to break through her barriers without her pre-built defenses in the way. But enough is enough.

Every time I get one step forward with her, she reverts to her battle stance. She can’t resist the urge to challenge me at every turn, and she’s become well-versed in finding new reasons to hate me.

As much as I used to enjoy it when she sharpened her teeth on me, I’m ready to hear her admit things have changed.

Hating her had its purpose, and it served me well for years, but not anymore. I’m done playing by the rules laid out in the Ian Pierce handbook. Tealene Donovan is no longer off-limits.

At least, not for me.

If anyone else tries to lay a hand on her, that’s a different story.

I’ve been in denial since I made this arrangement. Since I felt what it’s like to have her at my mercy and in my bed. I’ve been resisting what changed the moment she surrendered and kissed me. And now that I’ve accepted it, she needs to do the same.

Kole is standing across the courtyard with Violet. He has her caged against the Social Sciences building, and they’re in their own world talking about something. He tucks her black hair behind her ear, and she blushes.

Her hair is stick straight, while mine has the slightest wave to it. Still, I can’t deny our similarities. I might not have much in common with my sister, other than our mutual trust in Kole, but we share the distinct blue Pierce eyes and midnight hair.

I still haven’t brought Violet up to my father, but I will soon. I’m not done digesting what it means that he kept a flesh and blood sibling hidden all these years. I’d like to use her against him because he deserves to suffer for being a lying bastard, but as I watch Kole with her, I know I can’t.

She’s the only person who brings any hint of good out in my best friend—albeit good that is bloody and twisted.

Still, even if Kole wasn’t involved, I don’t know if I could do anything that would hurt her. I’ve never been close with my older brother, Emmett, so I didn’t think I had it in me to care that much about family. But when Braxton took Violet hostage, a protective urge kicked in when it was revealed she’s my sister. One I usually only reserve for Sigma House.

Kole takes Violet’s hand and tugs her away from the building. He leads her to her next class, watching her until she disappears through the doors before making his way over to me.

Spinning around, he drops into the chair at the opposite side of the table to face the building Violet just walked into.

“Are you just going to sit out here for the next two hours and wait for her?”

He glances up at the window Violet’s class must be in, then back at me. “Yes.”

“You’re such a fucking stalker.”

“You’re one to talk. Who are you waiting on, Dec?”

When I don’t answer, he smirks knowingly.

While my father is just catching onto my interest in Teal, Kole has seen it since the second I followed her into the stacks at the library.

“I was thinking about Jase’s Pride trial.” I change the subject .

“What about it?”

“We should save it for when the Interrogator transfers back to Briar next year.”

“Interesting.” Kole taps his thumb on the arm of his chair. “And potentially violent. I like it.”

Of course he does. Kole is in agreement with me that initiates have been skating by too easily lately. They aren’t tested like we were when we joined the House, and because of that, they aren’t as loyal as we’ve been.

Now, with the Interrogator returning to teach at Briar next year, we can reset the scale in which new members are weighed.

He was feared during his time at Sigma House but is even more so now that he’s been away doing work for the Council that most people would try to turn down. He’s ruthless and one of the few legacies who are close to the Council and who I still trust.

The Interrogator never puts anything above Sigma Sin’s interests, especially himself.

“Jase skated through his first three trials too quickly. We need to really test him to make sure he’s a good fit,” I say.

“Assuming he’ll be here next year.” Kole watches me.

“I guess that will depend on him.” I smirk. “As of now, I don’t see why not. But there are always reasons that could change that.”

So long as Jase doesn’t make a move on Teal, he can admire her from afar. I’ve never had a problem with people envying what’s mine .

“Speaking of reasons…” Kole glances across the courtyard as Teal walks through the gate.

In the sunlight, the blonde in her hair stands out. She has it tied in a low bun on the back of her head, hiding most of the colors. She practically glows under the sun, not seeing she’s the sunflower she’s always pining after. Blooming so bright in the light that her whole body drinks up the rays.

“Just let me know when you hear back from the Interrogator.” I stand up. “I might need another favor from him sooner than later.”

“Will do.” Kole nods, and I walk over to Teal.

The moment she spots me, she grips her bag tighter, refusing to look at me. If she thinks ignoring me will make me stop, she hasn’t been paying attention.

“What are you pissed about now?” I ask, meeting her pace just to annoy her.

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Like what?”

Her glare cuts in my direction. “Like I’m being irrational and overreacting.”

“I don’t even know why you’re upset, Teal. I haven’t seen or heard from you since yesterday. How could I be treating you like you’re overreacting?”

“It’s the way you said it. What are you pissed about now ?” She throws up air quotes, punctuating her irritation by rolling her eyes.

“It was a question.”

“Well, I don’t appreciate your tone. ”

“Teal, stop.” I grab her arm, pulling her to the side of the building. “Just be straight and tell me what’s got you in a fucking mood. You were fine last night.”

“There’s a difference between being fine and pretending, Declan. Last night, I was faking it for the party. Today, I’m not.” She crosses her arms over her stomach.

She stresses the word fake like she’s done a hundred times since we made this arrangement, and it’s the crack in her facade that makes it clear why she’s upset with me.

“I see.”

“You see what?” She grinds her teeth.

“Why you’re pissed.” I smirk. “You don’t want to fake date me anymore.”

“I never wanted to date you, Declan. That’s not news. But I’m proud of you for finally catching up.” She rolls her eyes again.

“Nuh-uh.” I shake my head, reaching for her chin. “What I said is you don’t want to fake date me. You want this to be real.”

Her eyes widen. “I do not.”

“Liar.” I angle her chin up. “Admit it. What’s bothering you isn’t that you’re my girlfriend. It’s that you still think I see this as fake, even after what happened in my bedroom.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” I tilt my head. “I saw that look on your face when you caught Jase watching us kiss last night.”

“You mean when you kissed me because he was watching.”

“You think that’s why I kissed you? ”

“I know that’s why.”

“And it bothers you,” I point out. “Because you like me for real.”

“I hate you.”

“I hate you too, Teal.” I smirk. “And you love that, don’t you?”

Her eyes narrow. “Your ego really does know no bounds.”

She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her. She can claw all she wants, but she’s not avoiding this any longer.

“Cut the shit.” I spin her until her back is against the brick, and there’s no escape. “Be fucking straight with me for once.”

“You want me to be straight with you? Fine. You’re the one drawing all these blurry lines and expecting me to understand them. One second, you’re blackmailing me. The next, you say you want to hack whatever you think I’m hiding inside my head. And through it all, you can’t keep your hands off me every five seconds. It’s confusing.” She’s out of breath as her body presses flush to the brick wall.

This might be the most honest she’s ever been with me.

The most vulnerable.

It’s absolutely stunning.

“You want the truth, Teal?” I ask, running my thumb over her lower lip, and she nods. “I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember because it was easy, and it was right. It was what I was raised to do. And honestly, watching you burn with rage every time I looked into your pretty eyes woke me up inside. It was easier to hate you if I couldn’t have you, so that’s what I did because your hate was better than your indifference.”

I shouldn’t be admitting this to her. It’s easier to hide behind the mask until my task is done. But after last night’s discussion with my father, I need to take control of this before he tries to turn it around.

“What are you trying to say, Declan? You hated me because you wanted me? That doesn’t even make sense.” Her eyebrows pinch. “You don’t even like me.”

“You know nothing about what I like or what I want.” I release her, stepping back. “No one does.”

There’s only one person who makes me slip—who makes me lose control—and that’s Tealene Donovan. Touching her, being near her, admitting my secrets to her makes me feel like I’m free-falling into a black hole.

She steps forward when I try to step back. She traps me just like she’s always done, even when she doesn’t realize it.

“We can’t do this for real,” she says.

“Why not?”

“Our fathers, for one.” She breathes out a laugh. “But also, you don’t actually want this. I know you, Declan. You chase whatever’s off-limits. You like breaking the rules just to prove to people they can’t tell you what to do. This is fun now because everyone’s up in arms about it. But once you get whatever answers you’re looking for and people are no longer interested, you’ll get bored.”

“Thanks for the psychoanalysis.”

“I’m just pointing out facts. ”

I hum, stepping closer to her. “Then let me point out a few facts… You’re wrong.”

She watches me, waiting for me to continue, her eyebrows knitting when she realizes I’m done. “That’s it? Your whole argument is that I’m wrong?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god, Declan. You’re ridiculous.” She shakes her head. “You hate me. You’ve been horrible to me for years.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because now you’re acting like you just want me to forgive and forget. Worse, you want me to believe you actually give a shit.”

“I do.” She has no idea how much I do, and she has no idea what I’ve done for her because of it. “This has changed, and you need to accept that.”

She bites her lip. “I don’t know how.”

“Yes, you do, Teal.” I trace my fingertips over her jaw. “This stopped being fake the moment you agreed to it in your studio. You’re just too scared to admit it to yourself.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Is this real for you?”

I lower my mouth to hers and taste her lip balm, pulling her lip between my teeth and biting down until she moans.

“You’re the most real thing I know. So real, you give me a constant fucking headache.”

“How sweet.”

“I’m not sweet.” I bite her lip again before pulling back. “But I’m not lying either. ”

“So what are you saying, then? You want me to date you for real now?”

“I want you to admit this was never actually fake.”

She looks up into my eyes, working through what I’m asking. “Not until you do.”

Of course she does.

Teal is incapable of not putting up a fight. She’ll go down swinging before she’ll let me see her vulnerable.

“Fair enough.” I step back.

“Where are you going?”

“The only place that can give you the proof you’re looking for, Tealene Donovan.”

“And where is that?” she asks as I walk away.

“You’ll see.”