Chapter 12

Twelve

J ane

On the way to work the next day, I’m worried things will be awkward. We got pretty carried away last night.

But Henry puts me at ease right away. He’s waiting for me in the driveway with a huge fountain cup of Diet Coke and a deep, day-making kiss.

We hop into his truck together to run all the errands for the finishing touches on his business.

I sip my beverage and wait for him to break the silence. I’m grateful that he provided me something to drink to occupy me. I don’t know if it was deliberate.

“So, last night,” he says.

Instantly my face heats. Oh crap, he’s going to tell me it was a little over the top. He’s going to tell me that my needs are weird and too much for him. Or worse, he’s going to tell me that it was too vanilla, what I’m thinking about. Or worst of all, he’s going to tell me that I’ve been leading him on. That I’m a cock tease, getting him all riled up at my apartment only to send him home to pleasure himself.

Henry says none of those things. Rather, he takes my breath away with his sweet words.

“I don’t know how you’re feeling this morning, but I’m feeling really good about things. Last night was really special. I’ve never done that before, with anyone. I mean, of course, I’ve masturbated, but not with anyone listening. I liked it.”

“I…liked it too.” My mouth is dry and I take a huge sip of my drink. I’m still waiting for the “but.”

“So I want you to know whatever negative things you might be feeling right now about last night—Regret. Maybe a little embarrassment. Self-consciousness—don’t. It was cool and I loved it.”

I bite my straw. Am I really doing this thing? I am. I’m going to have sex with my boss. My body needs this, and my brain finally has agreed to give my body what it wants. Hell, a great orgasm is good for the brain, too.

He continues. “And I’m not going to keep us a secret or anything. I’m all in. OK? I meant what I said last night. I don’t normally behave like this. I’m not the kind of guy who comes on that strong, but something feels terrible when we’re not together. I like this. I like you. So as corny as it sounds, I gotta ask you. Are you my girl? ‘Cause I wanna be your guy.”

I bite the straw harder and try not to scream. It’s been a decade since someone referred to me as “my girl.” Where are we, in high school?

“I’ll understand if you have reservations, because of the things everyone has told you about me. And if you just want to use me for animal sex, I’m not above it. Just know that if that’s all you want, I’m going to take up so much of your time with said animal sex, there won’t be any time for any other guys. So take your pick.”

Oh my god, I would never use anybody for sex, but just the suggestion of losing my mind and having hot jungle sex —whatever that entails—makes my inner muscles clench down involuntarily.

“I’m here for all of it, Henry. I liked you the minute I sat down next to you at the fair and my daughter started babbling at you, and you weren’t the least bit annoyed.”

“She’s a great kid.”

“She is. I don’t know how I got so lucky. Great kid and now a great boyfriend.”

“There’s no luck involved,” he says, pulling the truck into the lot of the garden center. He throws the truck into park and looks me dead in the eye, that sudden seriousness appearing again. “No luck at all. Sarah’s a great kid because you’re a great mom. You have a boyfriend now because I know a good human when I see one and so do you.”

I feel the need to correct him. “Yes, I do work so hard at being a good mom. But you have no idea how scary it is. I know plenty of other moms who worked so hard, gave their kids so much love, didn’t spoil them too much, let them be independent but not too independent, did everything they thought they were supposed to do, and yet the kids grow up and make terrible choices. And the moms always blame themselves.”

“Hey,” he says, taking my face in his hands. “Look at me.”

I look at him, and the tenderness in his eyes nearly does me in.

“They grow older and make choices. All you can do is your best. The good news is you don’t have to do it by yourself anymore. I’m not saying I’m a replacement for her dad, but you don’t have to carry the weight of that worry and stress alone anymore. I’m here for you. I’m here to talk about it. I’m just…here. And for the foreseeable future, I always will be. Do you hear me?”

I nod and try not to cry. He plants a soft kiss on my lips, and our fingers entwine together. Two days ago I could never have imagined crying and kissing my boss on the second day of work while we sit in his truck cab at the garden center, a bunch of ceramic gnomes staring us down, but here we are.

“Thank you.”

“I know you don’t like to talk about Carl. But let’s get the stuff and we can talk some more on the way back.”