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Twenty-three

TWENTY-THREE

Josie

This had been the best day of my life.

Nothing, not one single thing I'd ever experienced before, could even come close to comparing to the day Huck had given me today.

Sure, there had been the wonderful lunch out together and the trip to the arcade that had me feeling so much nostalgia that made the day lovely. But it wasn't either of those things that gave me the hope and happiness I was feeling now.

It was the conversation we'd had throughout the day, starting immediately after our first kiss.

Of course, there'd been a few tense moments as I tried to get Huck to see reason, to make him understand that he couldn't hold on to guilt about not acting on feelings when we were in high school or even coming to look me up when he was finally back in Steel Ridge permanently.

But once we'd gotten past that, everything simply felt magical.

Because we were making it official. We were going to try this out and see if we could make it work. And after years and years of facing such disappointment, frustration, abuse, and heartache, I was looking forward to fulfillment, peace, protection and, hopefully, love. Fear was no longer going to factor into my romantic life. I wholeheartedly trusted the man I was with, and I hoped I could give him even just a fraction of what he was already giving me.

Whether I'd succeed remained to be seen, but I intended to give it everything I had.

Now that the night was winding down, and the credits were rolling on the movie we'd just watched— watched being a term I was using loosely, considering we spent most of our time making out with one another—I was sad the day was ending. I wanted to take this day and relive it forever and ever for the rest of my life.

"Today was a great day," Huck said.

He was on his side, his head propped in his hand as he looked down at me. I was on my back beside him, loving the feel of not just the proximity to him but the weight of his arm that was draped over my abdomen, too.

"Yeah, it was," I agreed.

"It's getting late. Are you tired?" he asked.

"A little. This was certainly the most physically demanding day I've had since leaving the hospital."

"We should probably head upstairs and get to bed."

That's when it hit me.

Maybe this day didn't have to come to an end. Maybe we could continue what we'd been doing, and we could have an excellent night together.

"That's probably a good idea," I said.

Huck and I got ourselves up off the couch. He began turning off all the lights and asked, "Do you want anything from the kitchen before we go up?"

I was eager to get upstairs and start the rest of our night together. "No, thanks. I'm good."

Huck finished turning out the lights, double checked the doors were locked, and armed the house. The next thing I knew, we were climbing the stairs as my belly trembled with anticipation.

Since I didn't want to appear presumptuous, I slowed my steps as we walked down the hallway until I came to a stop outside the guest bedroom. Huck stopped, too, turning to face me.

He had to be the one to do it. He had to ask me to spend the night in his bed with him. I couldn't be the one to do it, no matter how badly I wanted it. And there was no question I desperately wanted it.

After all the times I'd had nightmares and he came in to spend the night with me in the guest room when I couldn't properly curl into him, there was nothing I wanted more now than to climb into a bed with him, spend some time kissing, and fall asleep while he held me close all night. I wanted more than to only be able to hold his arm or hand for comfort.

Unfortunately, as we stood outside the room, neither one of us managed to say a single word. Both of us continued to stare at one another, and while I couldn't be sure what Huck saw when he looked at me, it was clear to me that his mind was racing with thoughts as well. I wondered what he was thinking, why he wasn't saying anything.

Recognizing someone needed to break the ice—and hoping that would be the one thing needed for Huck to make his move—I decided to speak.

"Thank you for giving me such a wonderful day today, Huck," I said, realizing I was treating this moment like the end of a date. It could have gone either way at this point. "It was the best day I've ever had."

His lips twitched as he stepped forward and closed the distance between us. When he brought both hands to my hips and tugged me toward him, he replied, "That makes two of us."

I lifted my arms over Huck's shoulders and pressed my body close to his. For some reason, it seemed that the moment he got his hands on me, I lost all sense of myself. The only thing I could think about now was kissing him again. That and the way he smelled and how much I liked the way it felt to have his arms around me with our bodies pressed tight together.

My eyes dropped to his lips and remained focused on them as I inched my head forward. The next thing I knew, my movements were halted because Huck moved the remaining distance and captured my mouth with his.

Huck's first kiss in the arcade had been something straight out of a movie. He kissed me in a way I didn't even know was possible. I didn't know I could feel all that I felt for him at the same time I was lost in the flawlessness of his kiss. Everything from the softness of his lips and the velvety feel of his tongue to the way he explored my mouth and communicated things without needing to speak was perfect.

Ever since that first kiss in the arcade, I had anticipated the feeling I experienced would change.

It didn't.

Or, at least, it didn't change in the way that I had expected.

I had assumed that the second, third, and fourth kisses I shared with Huck wouldn't be as consuming. I didn't think I'd experience the same flutters in my belly that I did with the first.

I was wrong.

Because those feelings intensified.

And right now, despite having spent substantial time on the couch kissing him, I was doing my best to hold on to him for fear my legs would buckle with the weakness his kiss made me feel.

As his tongue drove into my mouth, Huck let out a groan. That sound was another thing I hadn't expected. The first time I heard it, a wave of desire rolled over me. Maybe that was the result of it being Huck who was groaning while kissing me, but it could have also been the fact I hadn't ever imagined this man would ever be so lost in kissing me that he would groan. I found it impossible to believe I could have the same effect on him that he had on me, and yet, here I was, kissing the man of my dreams while he groaned his satisfaction.

Eventually, always far too soon, we separated our mouths from each other, and there was a moment of labored breathing.

"That gets better every time," he said.

"Mmmm."

That was the only response I could muster up. It wasn't as though Huck had said anything that wasn't true.

He laughed, gave my hips a squeeze, and took half a step back. "Goodnight, Josie."

The wind was out of my sails. He wasn't inviting me to spend the night in his bed with him. It was all I could do not to allow the disappointment to show. "Goodnight, Huck."

After Huck gave me a peck on the lips, I turned and moved into the guest room. Once I made it to the bed and looked back at him, I felt so much longing and desire move through me. He was wearing the sweetest expression as he stared at me, like he thought I was some treasured, rare jewel.

Following a beat of intense scrutiny, Huck turned and walked away toward his bedroom. I was left wanting to chase after him.

Maybe I should have done just that. But if I knew anything about Huck, it was that he was intentional about everything he did, and there was a reason he didn't ask me to spend the night in his room. Unwilling to humiliate myself, I had no choice but to accept that this was where we were right now.

Admittedly, it wasn't exactly a bad place to be.

So, I climbed into bed, replayed my day in my head, and found a way to be grateful for what Huck had given me.

It was no surprise I'd fallen asleep quickly, doing it with a smile on my face.

I shot up in the bed with a gasp.

I blinked my eyes rapidly, attempting to assess the situation and catch my breath. Kurt was nowhere to be found, and I realized I was in the guest bedroom in Huck's house.

At least I hadn't woken up screaming in terror.

Dropping my head back onto the pillow, I tried to take several slow, deep breaths. It became clear I was safe, but that didn't change the fact I still felt panicky and couldn't seem to settle down.

Unsure if it was the best idea, but recognizing I wasn't going to be able to fall back to sleep, I climbed out of the bed and walked out of the room toward Huck's.

His door was cracked, like always, and I knocked gently on the door. There was just enough light filtering into the room that I could see his head pop up off the pillow. "Josie?" he called.

I pushed the door open. "Can I come in?"

He sat up in the bed. "Yes, of course. Are you okay?"

Moving toward him, I shook my head. But since I wasn't sure he'd be able to see that, I shared, "I had a nightmare."

When I came to a stop beside the bed, Huck asked, "Do you want to stay in here with me?"

"Would it… You don't mind?"

Huck answered by simply pulling the blanket down and giving me the space to crawl in beside him.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Strong, protective arms wrapped around me. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. We're working through this together, remember?"

"I know," I murmured.

Huck shifted our bodies in the bed until we were both laying down. We were on our sides, facing one another. "It's been a while since you've had a nightmare. Was this one different?"

"Slightly. I mean, I was in the kitchen like always, but there was no physical abuse," I explained. "He stood there, staring at me for the longest time without saying a word. It creeped me out. Then he spoke and only said five words."

"What were they?"

"I'm going to find you."

Huck's arms tightened around me. "You know he can't hurt you as long as you're here, right?"

"I won't be tomorrow," I reminded him.

There was a long stretch of silence, and I had a feeling the reality of the situation was becoming clear to Huck. "You're returning to work tomorrow. Are you feeling anxious about it?"

When the doctor had cleared me to return to work as long as I modified my work to not do more than what my shoulder could handle, I felt great. I was ecstatic. I thought I was truly on the road to rebuilding my life.

"I didn't think I was anxious about it, but now I'm not so sure," I confessed. "I mean, I'm excited to get back to work. I want to see my coworkers, and I'm looking forward to being able to do something productive again. But I guess if I really take the time to think about it, there is some uneasiness lingering there for me."

"Are you worried about him showing up there?"

"I don't know. He never showed up there at random before, so that would surprise me, but the situation was different then, too."

Huck's arms loosened around me, and he brought one hand to my arm that was draped over his side. His fingertips ran delicately along the skin on my arm as he spoke. "As you already know, I'm going to be taking you and picking you up every day that you have to work. If I thought it would help you, I would stay there at the diner until you felt comfortable alone. But I'm not sure that's the best way to make it happen. You do need to be able to stand on your own, too. And with everyone else around you at work, I think that's the safest way for you to start making those strides in your independence. We can talk about what you need to do if he shows up there, though. I think it's extremely important to have a plan for that."

Huck was right.

It was silly to think I had anything to be worried about. He would be dropping me off for and picking me up after each shift. Unless Kurt came into the diner in front of everyone and attempted to approach me—which seemed far more daring than I believed he was—it would be impossible for him to get to me.

"You're right. I'm just being silly."

"It's not silly, honey. It's real. Everything you're feeling is normal, expected, and completely reasonable. I'd be more concerned if you didn't have this lingering in the back of your mind at all. You'll work through this, though. And the more you do it, the more confident you'll feel. You just need to give it time."

I nodded against his chest as his fingers continued to move slowly up and down my arm.

"I hope you know just how grateful I am to have you in my life," I murmured.

"If it's anything like I feel about having you in mine, then I might have a pretty good idea," he returned.

Somehow, despite the lack of space between our bodies, I scooted closer to Huck. "You don't mind if I spend the rest of the night in here with you, do you?"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"I'd expect nothing less, Huck."

His hand that had been drifting over my arm slid down toward my hip. He gave me a squeeze there before he revealed, "I had wanted to ask you to spend the night in here with me when I was standing outside the guest room with you earlier."

I knew he'd had some thoughts racing through his mind. "Why didn't you?"

"I was worried about pushing you for too much too soon."

"But you spent some nights in the guest room with me already," I reasoned.

"Yeah, I did. But staying with you as a means to comfort you when you've had a nightmare and we're merely good friends is different than sleeping in the same bed with you when I've asked you to join me because we're more than that."

I could kind of see his point.

There was no space for romantic tension when I was post nightmare and hadn't ever kissed him. Now, things were different. And I had to take a step back to appreciate Huck's willingness to forego satisfying his wants for what he thought would be best for me. It was nice of him to not put that pressure on me to begin with.

I'd been telling myself I wouldn't be able to come out and ask him if we could spend the night in the same bed, but perhaps that was precisely what needed to happen. Huck had the foresight to evaluate the situation from a different perspective, and by not asking me, he was putting the ball in my court. It was just another way he was helping me to build my confidence and independence.

So, I thought it was important for me to be clear with him about where I stood. "So, it would be different because you'd want to spend more time kissing me, right?"

"Absolutely."

"And would you want to hold me close all night, especially now that I don't have that stupid sling on my arm?" I pressed.

"The idea of your body tucked tight to mine all night long drives me wild, Josie. So, yes, I would absolutely want to do that, too."

I remained silent for a second as I took in those words. Huck had considered having my body tucked tight to his, and it drove him wild. Having that admission, I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face.

It hadn't completely penetrated when I said, "It means everything to me that you're willing to put my best interests before whatever you might want. I've never had that before. But all the same, I think you should know that there's no place I'd rather be right now than wrapped up in your arms, feeling safe and being kissed."

Now, it was Huck's turn to remain silent. I worried that perhaps I'd said something wrong or taken it too far, but I couldn't bring myself to retract any of what I'd said. I meant every word, and if part of this healing process was about me feeling safe to say whatever was on my mind, I needed to stand firm.

So, I waited.

And Huck gave me the best reward. "We'll move your stuff from the guest room into my bedroom tomorrow."

I went from smiling to donning a full-blown grin. Huck couldn't see it, but it didn't matter. I was happy, the happiest I'd ever been in my life, and just like I'd said to him at the arcade, he was going to make everything that happened in my life now better than I could have ever dreamed.

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