Chapter 18

I'd told myself while Enzo and his siblings talked that it would be smart if I pulled back some. Put a little space between me and Enzo so that he had room to breathe and figure out his next move. Now that his siblings not only knew but completely supported him, he had good reason to go home to California and take his life back. I didn't want to stand in the way of that. At least, part of me didn't. The other part of me wanted to tie myself to his leg and make it impossible for him to walk away.

And then he had to go and say something like don't expect him to be profound too often and my hesitations immediately shifted to ridiculous hope because those words sounded like a promise of more. More time together. More talking and laughing… More loving.

I sucked in a sharp breath from the terrifying thought that slammed into me at the same time Enzo's hot mouth clamped over my nipple. How did I get here? How had every logical decision abandoned me in favor of this man's touch? I had no doubt it would only lead to heartbreak yet, there I was, pushing his shirt up and over his head.

I needed to feel him with nothing between us. It was a terrible idea but that didn't stop me from lifting my hips off the mattress so he could pull my pants down and off my legs, followed by my socks. He'd left my sexy, silky, pink underwear in place, his eyes clouded over with lust as he traced the outline of my cock.

"You are so beautiful. I have no words," he whispered, locking his eyes on me while lowering his face.

"Oh fuck," I moaned, not expecting him to replace his fingers with his mouth and tongue, working his way around my erection, getting the silky material damp. A wet spot had already formed from the liquid leaking from my slit.

Instead of him losing the rest of his clothes, he pulled the flimsy material down my legs until I was lying there completely bare before him. My skin prickled with want and anticipation, feeling his gaze on me as he took his fill, beginning with my eyes. He mapped out the shape of me, my body covered in goosebumps as if I could feel his stare caressing it. Those brown orbs rolled down to my neck, my pulse beating so hard, he had to have seen it. His intense stare continued its descent, focusing on my heaving chest, my pert nipples… Somehow, he managed to take me apart with only his eyes, never touching me, so that by the time he focused on my belly button and dragged his gaze down to my leaking cock, my cock jumped in excitement. Enzo set his eyes on it, dragged his finger softly down my length, his breathing labored as he looked at me in awe.

No man had ever looked at me this way before. As if he was in awe of every inch of me and genuinely shocked and grateful that I was giving myself to him like this. Little did he know, I'd never given myself to a man the way I was handing my body over to Enzo. I'd been with men who jumped right to orgasms, others who were perfectly content for me to worship their bodies, and of course, assholes who didn't see mine as any more special than the next guy.

But Enzo… Jesus Christ, Enzo… He was taking his time, making me feel precious, wanted…loved. No, don't use that word, Evian. Fuck, but I wanted to use that word because when I looked at him, my heart hurt with how much he'd come to mean to me, as if I was already feeling the residual pain and emptiness from the hole he would leave behind when he went home.

I cursed myself for letting my mind travel down that rocky road. Thankfully, Enzo made a bold move that yanked me back to the moment.

Hesitantly, he wiped my glistening tip with his finger, almost making me come on the spot when he lifted it to his mouth and tasted it. "Shit." His eyes fell closed and he breathed in through his nose. "You taste as delicious as you smell."

"Where's all this newfound confidence coming from? Have you ever tasted another man's come before?" I felt bad as soon as the words left my mouth because I already knew the answer to that, but he was shocking the hell out of me with every turn.

He didn't seem discouraged from what I'd just said. No, the look on his face was pure determination. "You're not just another man, Evian, so whether or not I've been with anyone else doesn't matter."

"I didn't mean…"

He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. "I know what you meant. Oddly enough, it doesn't make me want to shy away. It makes me want to try again and again"—he leaned down and licked the head of my cock, making me whimper—"practice over and over"—he pressed his tongue to the base of my shaft and dragged it up, licking the head again—"until everything I do to you has you trembling and begging for more."

Holy. Fucking. Shit. The sneaking suspicion I'd had about him that night at Murphy's, about what kind of lover he would be, had been spot on. He didn't know exactly what to do with me, but damned if he wasn't rocking my fucking world while he figured it out.

"Yes," I moaned, pushing my head back into the pillow when Enzo sealed his lips around my straining, purple tip and sucked. "Oh fuck." He wasn't practiced, couldn't take much of me in his mouth, but he went as far as he could, pumping his hand at the base so it met his mouth repeatedly, covering my entire length. I felt myself tripping toward the edge, but I wanted more tonight. I desperately needed to feel him inside me. I wanted every inch of him seamlessly woven to me, his scent, his weight permanently stitched to my mind. "Enzo…" I panted. "I'm too close. Don't wanna come like this."

I wasn't sure he heard me until he sucked one last time then removed his mouth. The sexy man kissed the head of my dick and I almost lost it.

"You really want me inside you?" he whispered, his breath labored from the blowjob.

"Only if you get naked. That rough denim isn't coming anywhere near my precious, bare jewels."

I laughed as Enzo rolled off the bed like he was on a tactical mission, tearing at his clothes. It took him a second to hold his balance, hopping on one foot while yanking each sock off. Finally, he stood at the end of the bed, strong hands on his hips and cock bobbing proudly.

And then his gaze softened. "When we were walking home from the festival last night, you were so damn sexy, and all I could think was that I wanted you naked and spread out before me. Just like you are now. How I got to this moment is a blur because my focus is solely on you lying on that bed. Fuck, you're so beautiful, Ev."

I had to remind my heart to do its fucking job and keep beating as the words he'd just said to me sank in. Had to remind myself to breathe. This time, I was the one searching for something to say that would compare, even in the slightest, to Enzo's confession.

Maybe it was time for a confession of my own. To say the things I'd been thinking as he'd undressed me with such care. "You make me feel beautiful. The way you look at me…" I shook my head, refusing to get too emotional. "No one's ever treated me the way you do. Like I'm precious. Like I'm…worth it."

Something flashed in his eyes, a tenderness cloaked with sympathy…possibly even anger. His jaw ticked, his voice steady and deep, as he said, "You are worth it."

I wanted so badly to ask what he meant by that statement. Was I worth his time? Worth coming out for? Worth leaving all he knew behind so he could move here and be with me? They were unrealistic expectations that I refused to put on him. Unrealistic expectations that would inevitably result in very substantial consequences to my heart when he couldn't meet them.

I could show him, though, right? Show him how much I'd come to trust him in such a short period of time? Fixing my eyes on his, I snaked my hand down my chest to my cock and let my legs fall unabashedly open. His half-lidded, dark gaze slowly released mine and drifted, his breath catching from the sight of me reaching under my thigh and pressing a finger gently against my exposed hole. I tweaked my nipple with the other hand, retracting my hand from my entrance only long enough to push my finger into my mouth and get it nice and wet.

Enzo's eyes narrowed in on me with intense concentration, as if he was afraid to blink and miss what I did next. His hands flexed at his sides, an unmistakable sign that he was trying his best to rein in his urge to cut this show short and pounce. My skin felt like it was on fire as I looked at him. Made sure he was watching as I reached between my trembling legs and shoved the tip of my finger inside my quivering hole, moaning his name.

That got him moving. Enzo made it to the nightstand in a few long strides, yanked the drawer open and tossed condoms and lube on the mattress, and then he was on me. I eagerly welcomed his weight between my legs as he pushed me into the bed, his desperate mouth claiming mine, his strong hands every-fucking-where. He tugged my hands above my head and laced our fingers together.

When he finally came up for air, leaving my lips humming from the ferocious way he'd just well and truly dominated my mouth, he rasped in a deep, sexy voice, "That hole is mine. I'll be damned if you're gonna get yourself ready for my cock." He clicked the bottle of lube open and slicked up the fingers of his right hand. "The first time I push inside you, I want to know I'm the one your body listens to. I'm the one who's gonna take the time to learn what your body is saying to me, how it's reacting to my touch."

"Enzo," I moaned as his finger circled my hole, my breathing unsteady.

"I'll know you're allowing me entrance inside of you because I earned your trust." He pushed just the tip of his finger past the first ring of my hole. "And I'll sure as hell prove to you over and over again that I understand the privilege you're giving me to be there."

Jesus Christ, my mind was spinning, my heart in my throat, fighting to break through and shatter from the sheer magnitude of his words. He was giving me the most intense sexual experience of my life and he hadn't even buried himself inside me yet. I whimpered and reached down between my legs, grabbed his wrist, and guided his finger further into my body, showing him exactly what I wanted. Because, holy shit, I needed everything he'd just said.

Enzo looked down my frame, his gaze locking on where we were intimately connected. "Tell me if I'm doing anything you don't like."

He wanted me to think right now? His finger moving in my hole was like a chokehold on all logical thought. Lack of oxygen to the brain resulted in me becoming a mumbling mess. I wasn't even sure I was making any sense right now, but I managed to say, "Just go slow and add another one. Please, Enzo." Begging. Lovely. Should I have been embarrassed? Maybe. Did I fucking care? Not in the slightest. If he wanted to ace Evian: 101, I was damn well going to give him all the tools he needed to succeed.

The man was an excellent student.

Enzo pushed another finger in to join the first. I made sure he was palm up when I rasped, "Curl your fingers as you move. You'll brush against my—" My back arched as I cried out in total fucking ecstasy.

"Found it, huh?" The man looked smug as hell—and damn well should. I nodded frantically, my hips moving of their own volition, fucking myself on his fingers. "Fuck, and now I'm jealous of my fingers."

"Get…yourself ready," I said between zings of pleasure. "Can't wait anymore."

"Yeah, okay." His shaking hands as he picked up the foil packet let me know I wasn't alone here. He was just as affected as me. Maybe more so because he'd never done this before.

That thought tried to invade this moment, the words Are you sure about this? seconds away from using my tongue as a trampoline to jump out of my mouth and ruin everything. Thankfully, Enzo made it perfectly clear that he not only wanted this but also craved it as much as I did. He slicked up his latex-covered cock without hesitation, all the while focusing on the area of my body he'd soon be claiming.

But before he lined himself up and took what I so desperately wanted him to have, he whispered, "I'm gonna blow the second I'm inside you. I want you too much."

"I'm gonna blow right now if you make me wait any longer." I wasn't proud of the whine hijacking my voice, but holy shit, I was on the edge.

Enzo kneeled between my trembling legs, shimmying closer until his muscular thighs were under mine, my legs draped over his. He pressed his thumb over my entrance, his eyes locked on the movement in fascination. I bit my tongue, trying so hard to let him set the pace even though all I wanted to do was flip us over and impale myself on his stiff length.

And then he was there, pressing his mushroom head against my eager hole and slowly…carefully…pushing forward until it popped past the first ring of muscle. "Oh fuck," he groaned and looked up at me, licking his lips. "You okay?"

I nodded frantically and managed to whisper, "Keep going. Just go slow. I'll let you know if it's too much." Something inside me told me it was important to give him permission to take what he wanted. To erase any doubt or hesitancy from the rock of his hips. To let him know I trusted him, not only to go slow, but to stop if I needed him to.

I didn't need him to.

When his groin met mine, his cock buried completely inside me, my world sparked to life. I hadn't even realized how dormant my desires had become until he awoke my primal need with every thrust.

"Oh my god." My spine arched, head pushing back into the soft pillows beneath it as he found my prostate and worked his magic on it. Sweat dripped down my temples and into my hair. Enzo pushed his arms underneath my thighs and wrapped around them, holding on tight, pulling me toward him on each thrust in. He was so fucking beautiful. His cheeks were mottled red from exertion, his chest slick with the sheen of sweat, his hips keeping a steady rhythm. I'd never been fucked so thoroughly. My hands hurt from the grip I had on the sheets as I lay there and let him truly own my body the way he wanted to. The way he promised he would.

"Fuck, Ev. You feel so good."

"You do, too," I rasped in response. My hand flew to my cock, ready to contribute to this race to completion, but Enzo smacked my hand away.

"I got you," he said, wrapping his big, strong hand around my throbbing shaft. "I want to be responsible for every second of making you feel good. When you come, it's gonna be because I made you. Because I"—he slammed against my prostate—"made you lose control." He tagged my prostate over and over. "You hear me, Ev? Your orgasm"—another powerful thrust in—"is mine."

Fuck if the man didn't yank my orgasm from me like he owned it. Like he had control over my body, every tremor, every white ribbon that shot from my cock and landed on my chest. And, because he was desperate to make me understand he owned my orgasm, he ran his finger through the mess I'd made on my abs and brought it to his mouth. As soon as my flavor hit his tongue, he roared his release, his large frame surging forward and freezing while he filled the condom inside me.

I was pretty sure I blacked out because one minute he was pushing forward again, fucking the rest of his release out, and the next, he was tying the condom off and tossing it in the can by the bed.

He blew out a breath and landed on the mattress beside me. "Holy shit." Enzo pushed his hand back into his sweat-soaked hair, sweeping it away from his face. "Please tell me that was as good for you as it was for me because fuck."

I rolled my head on the pillow, too tired to lift it but still managed to widen my eyes as I gaped at him. "I… You just… What are words? I can't focus." I licked my parched lips and laughed. "You know how you said people shouldn't have to tell you to breathe? Yeah, well, the next time you fuck my brains out, it would be great if you reminded me." I patted him on his chest. "Thanks in advance."

He snorted and rolled toward me, leaning on one elbow and resting his head in his hand. "Is it wrong to feel proud that I made you stop breathing? Because, I gotta tell ya. It's a pretty great feeling."

My laugh echoed in the small room. "Lovely. I'm falling for a man who's goal is to fuck me into unconsciousness." My eyes widened as I sucked in a sharp breath at the same time Enzo did. "Shit," I whispered in mortification and attempted to roll off the bed, but Enzo's strong arm wrapped around me, stopping my escape.

"Evian…" My name was barely a whisper. I couldn't look at him. Couldn't meet his eyes and see the pity in them. Enzo draped his big body over mine and placed his fingers on my chin, turning my head so I would face him. When he realized my eyes were still averted, he said in a tone that brooked no argument, "Look at me."

"Can we just pretend that didn't happen? Please?" Damn, even I could hear the tremble in my voice from the tears threatening to fall.

"Why would I want to pretend like I didn't hear the guy I'm falling for say he's falling for me, too?"

I finally met his eyes, hope flaring in my chest so bright and warm, it felt like I was glowing from the inside out. "What?"

"If you're asking me to pretend like the best moment of my life didn't just happen, you're outta your damn mind." He leaned down and kissed me softly. "I sure as hell wasn't expecting you, but you can bet your ass I'm so fucking grateful I walked into your store that day. Do you really think I could come out to my brother and sister with you there if you didn't mean something to me?"

"This is crazy. Your home is on the other side of the country, Enzo. What are we even doing?"

"I'll tell you what I'm doing. For the first time in my life I'm finally living it." He leaned in and softly kissed me. "I don't have all the answers right now, but what I can tell you is you're not alone in this."

I didn't argue, didn't remind him that I would be very much alone when he went back to California. I welcomed his weight on top of me, welcomed the way he used his mouth and hands to bring us to that edge all over again until he was deep inside me, proving he deserved to pass Evian: 101 with flying colors.

The man was relentless, on a mission to prove all over again that he felt privileged to be where he was. Pushing all my fears aside, I let myself be in that moment with him, consequences to my heart be damned. It had already been through so much, and although I was risking it all over again, something inside me screamed that he was worth it.