Chapter 13

Ipaced the living room for so long I was in danger of wearing out Noah's hardwood floor. Should I have offered to make him dinner instead? Why would he want to cook in a place that he wasn't used to? Maybe I should've told him another night would be better. A night when Burke didn't need his car. Or maybe, I should, you know…stop freaking the fuck out.

"It's just dinner. It's just dinner." I repeated the words Jared had said to me, over and over again. It wasn't helping, and I had a sneaking suspicion it was because I didn't want it to be just dinner. This whole thing came out of nowhere, but I couldn't remember the last time something…or someone…made me feel this…alive.

I stopped dead in my tracks when the doorbell rang. "Now or fucking never, Enzo." I flexed my hands a few times on the way to the door, trying to get the blood flowing again.

My breath came out in a whoosh the second my eyes landed on him and scanned the length of his body.

He was wearing a white, button-down shirt, untucked, the first few buttons open, exposing his smooth, tan skin. The black pants he wore accentuated his long, lean legs, leaving just enough room for my wicked imagination. I let my eyes roam back up, my cheeks flushing red from the way he was looking at me. Yup, I'd just openly checked him out, and he sure as hell didn't seem to mind, if his smirk was anything to go by.

"Are you gonna let me in?"

"Shit. Yeah. Of course." I took his bag and stepped aside, breathing in his intoxicating cologne as he passed by.

He looked down at my sock-covered feet and saw I wasn't wearing shoes. When he toed his off and stood there with black socks instead of fancy shoes, it somehow made his beauty less intimidating.

"You cut your hair." I never said I was suave. Don't tell the man how gorgeous he is or anything. I gave myself an internal smack. Couldn't I have said his skin looked flawless? Because it did. Or how perfect that shade was on his plump lips? Because, dear god, it was.

Evian laughed. "Technically, Topher cut it. I'm good with scissors, but I have my limits." The joke landed where it needed to, releasing the tension from my muscles.

"I like it," I commented lamely. "I mean, your dark hair suits you. Ha, suits. Get it? Because of the whole…" I waved my hand at his outfit, like he was wearing one of the suits now.

"Enzo, how about you do the thing you don't want people to remind you to do?" He put his hand on his chest and dramatically took a breath in and released it, demonstrating with a teasing smile.

"Right." I did what he said, even though he was kidding.

Getting a beaming smile from him was like winning the fucking lottery. I could imagine making that a goal every single day. I was in so much trouble.

"I figured, instead of sitting around and waiting for a chicken to roast, it was easier to cook everything at home and bring it over. So, I brought a Caesar salad, roast chicken, and baked potatoes with all the fixings. We can pop the chicken and potatoes in the oven and warm them a bit. I hope that's okay."

"'Course it is. It smells delicious. I should've just offered to make dinner. I don't know what I was thinking." I walked into the kitchen with the bag and set it on the counter.

"It occurred to me while making the chicken that I was cooking for a guy who could be a fucking professional chef. I don't know what the hell I was thinking either, so…eat at your own risk." It was at that moment that I realized he was just as nervous as I was, and something about that didn't sit right with me.

"Fair warning, Ev. Food poisoning is an automatic drop in friendship levels. No pressure."

He smacked my chest, his eyes lighting up in amusement. "My food will not be fucking poison, asshole." He hip-checked me out of the way and started pulling containers out of the bag. "Just so you know, not offering me some wine in the first five minutes I get to your house drops the friendship level, too, Enzy," he said with a wicked smirk.

I barked out a laugh. "Noted, Eviany." I opened the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle of white to go with the chicken. "Is a dry Riesling enough to keep me from losing points?"

He narrowed his eyes skeptically, waiting for me to pour him a glass, then took a sip. "You're safe this round."

"How about the fact that I already set the table?" I motioned to said table with both hands like I was a model on The Price is Right. "Eh?" I drew out the word, nodding and shooting him a goofy smile. "Bonus points?"

He shook his head and laughed. "Don't push your luck." He handed me the salad bowl to put on the table while we waited for the rest of the food to heat in the oven.

We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. Luckily, my eyes landed on the white bag on my counter. "I just remembered. I got you something." I crossed the space and picked up the bag then handed it to him.

"You did?"

"It's not much, but I was in town today, and I remembered what you said at Noah's the other night about Beachin' Bakery and your favorite?—"

He gasped, yanked the bag open, and breathed in the scent. "Chocolate chip pecan cookies? Oh my god…" He took one of the big cookies out, kissed the lucky thing, and then took a bite, his eyes falling closed as he moaned. I'd never been jealous of a cookie before. It had to be a new low. "Just as yummy as I remembered. Here, try it." Instead of handing me the cookie, he held it up to my mouth.

I held his hand steady and took a bite, holding his gaze intensely. "That's delicious." I licked the crumbs off my lip, my body responding as he watched me. This night felt different already and he'd barely been here ten minutes. The interaction between us, the long looks and shy smiles… We'd leveled up to something I couldn't put into words, but whatever it was, I knew he felt it, too.

He put the large cookie back in the bag and closed it tightly, saying to it, "I'll be back for you later." Trading out the bag for the glass of wine on the counter, he smirked and tapped his sock-covered foot against the side of mine. "Are you going to give me a tour? This house is so cute."

"Oh, yeah. Sure. It's Noah's, but I'm staying here for a while." Because he doesn't already know you're staying here, moron?

There wasn't a whole lot to show him…the living room with its beachy-nautical vibe, a small office that faced the backyard, the hall bathroom…and, finally, the cozy bedroom. I nervously gripped the back of my neck, staring at the king-size bed, hyper aware that Evian was standing right next to me.

"Looks comfy." He tapped his fingertips on the wine glass, slowly nodding his head.

"Uh huh." That came out higher than I intended. I cleared my throat and tried again, purposely deepening my voice. "Yep. Comfy." Much better. The internal eye roll I gave myself practically gave me vertigo.

The oven timer went off, effectively interrupting the awkward moment. Evian laughed softly and made his way to the kitchen. It crossed my mind for the first time once we sat down that instead of putting one plate on either side of the table, I'd put one on either side of a corner, bringing us closer together. It was a very date thing to do. If he thought it was weird that we weren't more spread out, he didn't mention it.

"So, what have you been up to?" Evian asked, sliding a small piece of chicken in his mouth. I'd seen the guy eat before, but I was sure I hadn't focused so intensely on the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

What did he ask me?Oh, right… "I've been helping my cousin out in his restaurant."

"Is that here in Coral Pointe, too?" he asked, distracting me once again with his next bite of food.

"Yeah. Oceanside Bar and Grill attached to the Coral Pointe Inn. He owns both along with a tour company with Cole, Noah, Levi, and Ford." I took a bite of chicken and my mouth watered. "Oh my god. This is delicious, Ev."

"Not poisonous, then?" he deadpanned, his eyebrow raised, daring me to argue.

I shook my head and laughed. "No, it's—" I cleared my throat. "It's really—" Took a big sip of wine. "Not poison…at…all…" I gripped my throat, my eyes wide.

"You jackass!" He smacked my arm, but man, did I love his laugh. It had been easy like this with him since the first time I met him. He had a sense of humor to match mine, wasn't afraid to laugh at himself or call me out, and he gave shit right back to me. On top of the fact that he was sexy as hell, he got along with my cousin and his friends—after unknowingly walking into an uncomfortable situation. I could picture hanging out with the group, with Evian by my side. Falling for him seemed so incredibly easy… Whoa. My mind had never taken a leap like that before, and didn't that say a whole fucking lot.

"Seriously, though. It's really good. Like…good enough to be on the menu at Oceanside…good."

"Thanks." His cheeks flushed with the compliment. "How do you like working there? I haven't been to that one yet."

I shrugged and took a sip of my wine. "It's good. Not much different than working in my family's restaurant back home. Except, here I don't have to deal with my asshole brother and mom."

"You don't get along with your family?"

"Just those two. My other brother and sister are okay, though." He seemed like he was waiting for me to elaborate. I wanted to. I just didn't know how to start because expanding on that meant telling him the whole embarrassing story.

He sighed, clearly disappointed that I wasn't telling him more, before he schooled his expression and said, "Is the food at Oceanside similar to your family's place?"

"It's sort of the same. Burke just put some family recipes on the menu, but he also has options people expect from a steakhouse. You should come in sometime."

"Maybe I will."

Thankfully, we fell into easier conversation like we had at Murphy's, talking about all sorts of random topics. Eventually, the dinner left our plates and the wine was down to the last two glasses.

After putting our dishes in the dishwasher, Evian and I took our wine glasses over to the couch. He sat down sideways, his leg tucked underneath him and his arm draped across the back cushion. I mirrored his position on the opposite end.

"I forgot to tell you. Guess what I'm doing on Sunday," he said. Instantly, my system went on high alert. If he had a date with Reedy I was going to—"Making dinner with my dad."

Unexpected."How did that happen?"

"I took what you said into consideration. That maybe talking about things is hard for him. He was acting kind of weird today. It really seemed like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. So, I took a chance, and we're gonna spend some time together away from the store."

"Ev, that's great. I wish I knew how to deal with things the way you do. Head-on and no fear."

"Trust me, there's fear, but my mom taught me that sometimes you still have to do things, even if it scares you. I'm not always good at following that advice, but I try." He ran his finger around the bottom of the wine glass. "I had this irrational fear that he'd say no, but he's my dad. He wouldn't do that." I huffed and couldn't meet his eyes anymore. Is that how it's supposed to work? Coulda fooled me.

After a couple of seconds of silence, he said, "So, tell me about California." He took a small sip of his wine. I absolutely did not watch the glass slide between his enticing lips, imagining it was my cock.

Shit. I'd never even felt a man's mouth on me in that way, and here I was, having inappropriate thoughts about a guy who probably didn't know I swung his way. I tried to remind myself of our friend status earlier in the kitchen, thinking that mentioning our friendship levels would jog me out of the Evian-induced fog I'd been in since the second I'd opened the door. No such luck. Instead, the whole interaction, the way I'd felt so comfortable around him, just made me want him more.

"Enzo?"

I forced my eyes to release the lock they had on his mouth, only to meet his gaze and realize I'd been caught again. There was no way he didn't catch how I'd been focused on his lips, and fuck, had I licked mine in the process? Imagining the taste of his lips and how soft they would feel…

"Um…" I pushed the graphic image out of my mind and replayed what he'd said. "California? It's alright. Not much to talk about."

Evian glanced down at his wine, swirling the liquid in his glass. "It's like pulling teeth with you."

"What?"

"Are you ever gonna tell me what happened?" His hazel gaze lifted, hesitance visible, but he held eye contact with me. This amazing man had more confidence than he thought he did. That fake it 'til you make it crap wasn't even necessary. There were endless things about him that were more magnetizing than the flirty persona that came along with that mantra.

I opened my mouth, trying to harness even a morsel of his integrity, searching for what to say. He wasn't giving me an out on this one and continued to wait for me to say something. We stared at one another for a few seconds until his gaze dropped once more. He huffed and shook his head then pushed to his feet.

"Evian…" I followed him into the kitchen, my palms starting to sweat. It was a good thing we were at my place because if I kept this up, I was going to need another shirt.

He not-so-gently put his wine glass on the counter. "I know I'm young, but I'm not an idiot, Enzo. Or maybe I am. I've told you about my relationship with my dad, the close relationship I had with my mom and the pain I feel from missing her, how I felt like such a fool for not realizing what Drake was doing behind my back… You told me very little about your dad. You've shared your favorite this or that. The only real glimpse into your life you've ever given me is that you quit your job and you don't get along with your mom and brother, but you won't tell me why. What about who you are on a deeper level?

"I hate feeling like I'm being kept in the dark, and honestly, I'm getting really confused about what this"—he motioned between the two of us—"is. You think I can't see the pain in your eyes? I've opened up to you…a lot, but do you trust me the same way?" He braced his hands on the counter, only turning his head to look at me, and whispered, "I wouldn't know."

I wouldn't know…My breath caught, those revealing words I'd said the other night coming full circle. I'd imagined what it would be like if he'd heard me. How it would change things, move things forward in a direction I most definitely wanted to go in. What I hadn't imagined was the hurt that would be in his eyes as he said those words back to me. That he'd use them in a moment of honesty to let me know he didn't think I trusted him. I took a step back, blood rushing in my ears.

Evian's spine straightened, a mixture of regret and sadness in his expression. "Shit," he hissed. "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. You didn't force me to tell you those things." He gripped the back of his neck, bracing his other hand on his hip. "Maybe I should go…" As I stood there like a dumbass, he nodded once, with such finality it snapped me out of it. "I'm gonna go."

He tried to pass by me, but I stopped his escape with my arm around his waist. The warmth from his small waistline sent tingles up my arm, the smell of his cologne making its way to my brain, invading my senses. "I don't want you to go." The words fell from my lips, the truth of them settling into my chest and wrapping around my heart.

"What do you want?" he whispered. The vulnerability drawing his brows together coupled with the tremble in his voice gutted me, giving me the jolt I needed to wake the fuck up.

I could let this amazing man walk out the door, or I could finally start living my life for me. Hesitantly, I leaned down and brought my lips to his. It was a soft, fleeting brush of lips that I felt all the way to my goddamn toes. I pulled back, searching his eyes for a reaction. Instead of forgetting to breathe, I was pulling in short, panting breaths, on the cusp of something I desperately wanted.

When his gaze fell, focusing on my mouth, and his body shifted so we were facing each other, it bolstered my confidence. I slid my hand around the back of his neck and pulled until my lips firmly landed on his. No fleeting brushes of lips, no doubts, no judgment. Just my mouth on his. Fucking finally…

The little whimper he made was so fucking hot, it fueled my desperate need to have more of him. His lips parted slightly and I swept my tongue in for a taste of the man who'd been on my mind for weeks. I swore the palm trees shook with the force of it. An eagerness surged through me unlike any I'd ever known. Not even the guy from?—

I broke the kiss, dragging in much needed air. I didn't want to think about that night. Didn't want to remember the disgust in my mother's eyes or the vicious things she'd said.

"What's wrong?" Evian's soft hand cupped my cheek. Looking into his eyes was the best thing I could've done. I wanted to be honest with him, tell my embarrassment to take a fucking hike, because I did trust him. More than he knew.

"Got a little overwhelmed." I held his face then slid my hands back, my fingertips pushing into the hair at the base of his neck, cradling his ears, my thumbs gliding back and forth on his baby-soft skin. I leaned my forehead on his and closed my eyes. "You're officially the second guy I've ever kissed, and the first one…did not end well."

"Why?"

I lifted my head, using those gorgeous eyes again to ground me. "You're one of five people who know but only one of three people I've told." Instinctively, my hands slid down his neck, landing on his shoulders.

He studied my expression as the words sank in. I knew the moment they had because he stepped even closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kept moving forward until I was backed against the counter, probably because he knew I'd need the support. "You technically haven't told me anything yet, but I think you want to."

I did. I did want to, so fucking bad. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. "I'm gay."

A gorgeous smile curved those perfect lips. "What a coincidence. So am I." I laughed, sliding my hands down his biceps. The smile fell from his lips, his eyes searching mine. "How'd the other two find out?"

"My mom dropped by my house, unannounced," I said.

Evian winced, sucking in a quick breath through clenched teeth. "Not a good time, huh?"

"Considering the fact that I was still with that guy on the steps leading up to my apartment door, and my mom had no clue about me, yeah. You could say it was really shitty timing."

"She wasn't happy, I'm guessing."

"Ev, I didn't even know the extent of her hatred until she'd spewed those words. Not only at me, but at Rick, the guy I'd been kissing." I'd never forget the look in his eyes because it wasn't one of fear or shame. He'd looked at me with so much pity, shaking his head as if to say, Sorry about your psycho mother, dude, but I'm out.

"Was that before or after Christmas?"

"Before."

"So, something else happened when you went back home." His fingers curled into a tight grip on the back of my shirt, holding me in place.

"She'd basically already cut me out of the family by that point, but the day she'd started to lie to her friends, telling them I was practically engaged to a really nice girl, I'd had enough." That day would unfortunately be seared into my brain like an overcooked steak for the rest of my life.

"That's when you quit?"

I snorted in disgust. "I quit five minutes after that when she told my brother…right in front of me, knowing I didn't want her to…that I was taking the same sinful path my cousin did."

Evian's head reared back. "Are you fucking serious? Who does that? She had no right."

"Well, she was just protecting me, right? At least, that's the excuse she went with, right before asking me how I could disrespect the family."

I couldn't meet his eyes for the next part because, out of all the things that had happened, that one particular part twisted my gut into knots. It forever changed the way I'd see my mom from now on. "I figured if I was going to be accused of disrespecting the family for who I am, then I might as well say it with pride, right? So, I did. I said I'm gay and am proud to be like Burke. I braced myself, expecting my asshole brother to take a swing at me. I didn't realize I needed to worry about my mom leaving her palm print on my cheek." Absently, I put my hand on that side of my face. Evian gripped my shirt even tighter. I didn't think his beautiful face could harden with so much anger, but he was pissed. "She's never raised a hand to me or my siblings before. That's how much she hates me, Ev. That's how much she's ashamed of me."

"I understand now. I'm sorry if I pushed you?—"

"No, I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you…to open up to you. I swear it had nothing to do with me not trusting you and everything to do with how embarrassed I am that it ever happened."

I hadn't even realized I'd been crying until Evian wiped the tears from one cheek. He removed the hand I had pressed against my other cheek, as if I could still feel the humiliating slap, and lifted up slightly on his toes. My eyes rolled closed the second his soft lips met my skin with peppering kisses, replacing every inch of residual sting left by my mom's hand with the gentle press of his mouth.

I turned my head, capturing his mouth again. I didn't hesitate to slide my tongue in and taste him again. Every nerve ending woke up in desperation to finally know what it was like to give in to not only a man, but this man. Evian, with his soft full lips I couldn't help but nip between mine, his silky tongue sweetened with Riesling, and the little whimper that escaped over and over again. I was on the verge of devouring him without a single cell in my body wanting to slow down.

Wrapping my arms around him, I turned us so he was caught between the counter and my larger body. I sucked in a breath when he rotated his hips against my upper thigh, letting me feel how hard he was. Although I hadn't had sex in years, I wasn't a virgin. I'd spent too many years trying to change who I was, trying to be attracted to women, but this was the first time I was allowing myself this uninhibited intimacy with a man. It was the first time I took a chance and went after what I wanted, stepping even closer to him, pressing my erection against his stomach. His hips kept up their pace, his cock rubbing circles on my thigh.

Evian broke the kiss with panting breaths. "Wait. Wait." He ran his trembling hand back through his hair, moving it away from his face.

"What's wrong?" Jesus, my body screamed for more, but I wouldn't push him.

Evian licked his kiss-swollen lips and took a couple more deep breaths. "It's just… It's really fast." He cupped my cheeks with his soft hands. "I'm not going anywhere. If I'm being honest, I've wanted you to kiss me like that since the first time you asked me where to stand so I could measure your inches."

He softly laughed and I groaned, dropping my forehead to his shoulder. "I felt like such an ass that day. Not my finest moment." I lifted my head to look at those gorgeous hazel eyes. "If you could give that memory the boot from your brain, that would be great."

"Hell no. That's staying right here." He tapped his temple. "It pains me…seriously, you don't know how much it fucking pains me…to say, but I think we should slow down. We didn't just level up; we catapulted ourselves at least three levels ahead."

I hung my head and sighed in frustration. "You're right." I snapped my head up and narrowed my eyes. "Don't let that go to your…" I tapped his temple.

"Too late. Already there." He smiled and I swear it took my damn breath away. I don't know how I'd ever convinced myself that we should only be friends. The Enzo in this moment wanted to tell the Enzo from a month ago that he was a dumbass.

He put his hands on my chest, moving me back slightly so he could wiggle out of the hold I had on him. When he started putting his containers back in his bag, I panicked.

"You don't have to leave."

"Yeah. I do. Or we're gonna skip so many levels your head will spin." He leaned into me. "And I need you to be sure you're ready for that."

I exhaled in defeat, knowing he was probably right. "There's a festival this Saturday. Do you maybe want to meet me there?"

"I have to work and then I'm supposed to hang out with my friends Saturday night." I couldn't hide my disappointment, or relief when he added, "Do you care if I ask them to go, too?"

"I don't mind." Mind? I internally fist-pumped the air.

"Okay, but I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you with them there. They're my best friends. I tell them everything, but this isn't just mine to tell. I mean, they pretty much knew after that day you came into my shop for shoes that I didn't stand a chance because, you know, the more I said you were just a friend, the more they knew I was full of shit. Although, I didn't do the whole Enzy thing with you, which is interesting?—"

Instead of telling him to breathe, I silenced him with a kiss, and fuck, did it feel liberating to be able to do that. Was the thought of more people knowing about me terrifying? Yeah. But was it more exhilarating than terrifying? Hell yeah to that one, too. When I finally pulled back, I said, "I'm okay with you telling them. As for how to act around each other, can we just play it by ear? See what the day brings?"

His beaming smile gave me hope that I'd said the right thing. "We can do that."

"Will you text me when you get home?"

He nodded and tapped my chest. "Don't walk me out. Seriously, I'm seconds away from saying the hell with it and getting to the clothing-optional level." A shiver raced down my spine with the image that statement created. "From the look on your face, I need to go now." He pecked a kiss to my lips and quickly walked to the door…stopped abruptly…turned back around…walked toward me with the sexiest grin.

"Forget something?" I asked breathlessly as he reached for me. No, not for me. Behind me.

He pulled his hand back, clutching the white bag. "My cookies." He smacked another quick kiss on my lips then rushed out the door.

I stood there in the kitchen for a few minutes, going over everything that had happened. The realization that I didn't have to hide from him anymore created a warmth in my chest that radiated out until I was laughing by myself in the middle of the room.

I pulled out my phone, a huge smile on my face. I told him.

In typical Burke fashion, he responded, About fucking time.And?

One word…hurricane. Scratch that. All the damn hurricanes.

Even through text I could hear his cocky response. Yeah! Never doubt me again.