Chapter 7

Rhett

My Alpha was a fucking idiot.

My best friend was a tactless asshole.

My brother of the heart was going to get punched in the face.

Okay, no, I wouldn't punch Gray in the face, but I would definitely shout at him once I got him all to myself.

Sighing, I looked at my mate's sleeping form, worry rising inside of me. On one hand, I was glad he'd basically passed out after breakfast and before I'd needed to tell him about the fated mate thing. On the other hand, it was just a short reprieve. I'd have to explain it to him once he woke up again. I wasn't foolish enough to think a nap would make him forget about it, but I sure as shit hoped so. I'd wanted to take things slow. Tell him about shifters first. Introduce him to a couple of my packmates. Maybe show him the town, and the pack's different businesses. I'd wanted to show him how great things could be out here before breaching the subject of us being fated to spend our lives together.

Now, Gray had inadvertently destroyed my timeline.

Sighing, I stole another glance at my mate. He looked so incredibly peaceful like this. Buried under the thick down comforter, eyes closed, face relaxed and peaceful, his full lashes resting on his cheeks, his breathing slow and even.

The only thing I didn't like was the fact that his cheeks were bright red and the heat emanating off of him was too warm for a human. Jasper had warned me about Levi getting sick, catching a cold or whatever. His immune system had already been weakened even before the storm had hit, and that combined with the hypothermia… apparently, it was an ideal place for bacteria and viruses to grow. I just hoped Levi hadn't caught pneumonia or anything.

Jasper would be back in a couple of hours to talk to Levi and examine him again, but he'd agreed with me it was more important for Levi to rest.

He hadn't even made it through breakfast. After drinking his tea and eating maybe half a plate of fruit and one small pancake, his eyes had started falling shut again and again, until he'd just drifted off.

I didn't mind at all. Watching him was enough for the moment. Yeah, it was creepy, but seeing him safe and sound asleep calmed me and my wolf. We'd both been on edge ever since finding him, and even though Levi wasn't where we wanted to have him the most—in our bed, in our arms—we were happy he wasn't out there in the cabin anymore.

Speaking of the cabin, I needed to go have a look at the damage that had been done. Not just to the cabins, but I had to estimate how much damage the storm had done.

I'd have to send out teams to take stock of everything. We not only needed to check how many trees had fallen, but to make sure there weren't any trees in danger of falling—and if there were, we needed to cut them down safely, so they didn't hit unsuspecting hikers next year.

My mind was swirling with all the things I'd have to organize. I knew I needed to start now. It was my job. I wasn't just the one responsible for the patrol schedule; I was the one responsible for our packlands, just like Diana was responsible for everything concerning the town and Oakley was responsible for everything concerning the pack members. Yes, ultimately Gray was the Alpha, and he had the last say in everything, but he had a whole team to make sure the pack was running smoothly and he didn't run himself ragged.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at my mate one last time before getting up.

My wolf whined in protest, trying to dig his paws in, trying to keep me from taking even one step away from our mate.

We have responsibilities , I reminded him, but he didn't want to hear it. I got it. It wasn't as if I liked leaving Levi, but logically, I knew he'd be out for at least an hour or two. I could spend that time on work and be back when he woke up.

Nooo, my wolf whined, his howls echoing through my head. I felt his restlessness, his anger, but I pushed through and quietly closed the door to Levi's room from the outside.

It wasn't like we were leaving him. Not really. I wasn't about to go out and check the forest myself. Nope. I'd be downstairs in my office, putting out a map, dividing our territory into sections and assigning different members to check each section. That alone would take a couple of days.

Then I'd have to evaluate their findings and come up with a plan on how to proceed, but it didn't make sense to start on that now if we didn't even know what we were dealing with.

Maybe me being out there with Levi had made the storm feel a lot worse than it'd really been.

Two and a half hours later, I knew the storm hadn't just felt bad because my human mate had been out in it. It had been bad .

Already, reports started coming in, mainly pictures of roads blocked by fallen trees or branches.

I was busy calling the right people to clear the roads, to organize teams that would cut the trees down and trucks to transport them off to our timber plant.

"I'm surprised you're here," Gray said, standing in the doorway of my office. "Then again, maybe not. You've always taken your responsibilities extra seriously."

Placing my phone on my desk, I waved him in. "I wanted to get things organized before Levi wakes up."

Gray winced. "How did the fated mates conversation go? I'm sorry for putting my foot in my mouth. I got excited when I saw the two of you so relaxed and comfortable with each other. Your connection is obvious."

"Is it?" Had Levi been relaxed with me?

Yes , my wolf supplied, snorting at me. Yeah, I should know better. After all, we could smell a lot better than humans, so I'd be able to smell strong emotions like despair or fear—and there certainly hadn't been any of those. It wasn't like I could smell happiness or calmness, more of a lack of negative emotions.

"Yeah." Gray nodded.

My wolf preened in my chest, and yeah, I felt pretty good, too. It was the first real conversation we'd had with our mate after nearly scaring him to death by turning from wolf into human, yet he had neither been angry nor scared. I'd low-key been expecting one or both of those feelings.

"I'm still afraid the fated mates part might be too much." I sighed, leaning back in my leather office chair, closing my eyes for a moment. "Even for shifters, it's a lot to grasp. Like… I knew I had a mate out there, but finding them? Scenting them for the first time, it's like… being hit by a freight train. Because the magnitude of what having a mate actually means isn't something you can really understand before it happens to you."

Gray chuckled. "Is this you overthinking again?"

I shot him a death glare. "No. This is me explaining why I'm scared to tell Levi we're basically soulmates and destined to fall in love and get mated… married, and shit."

"He cuddled with you, thinking you were a two-hundred-plus-pound wolf. I'd say he can definitely feel the connection. No one—not even a total city kid—would do something like that without feeling some kind of way towards the wolf."

I really hoped so, still…

"That doesn't mean he's ready to move in with me and start a life together."

Gray pinched his lips together, toying with one of the small braids woven into his hair. It was decorated with a wooden bead, and I had to hide a smile. It was obvious some of the younger pack members had gotten their hands on Gray again. He always said he didn't like it, but he adored it when the pups surrounded him and braided his hair. It was one of his ways to bond with the younger generation.

"Maybe your human will surprise you. If he's not ready to move in with you, he's welcome to stay in the packhouse for as long as he needs. And if that doesn't work for him and he wants more space, Mave has a room reserved for him at the Balwood Inn."

"Thank you."

Gray just waved his hand at me. "That's what friends do. Or Alphas do… or whatever. You're part of my family, and I want you to be happy. Which is why, as your friend, Alpha, and boss, I order you to stop working and get back to your mate. I'm pretty sure he's awake."

Nodding, I jumped to my feet, grabbed my phone, and ran towards the door, only stopping to give Gray a side-hug.

"Thank you. For everything."

Gray was right—Levi was awake.

When I opened the door, I found my mate standing at the window, looking out at the lawn and the vast woods behind it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I asked, stepping up next to him.

Levi didn't turn to me, just nodded. He placed one hand on the windowpane and smiled. "It really is. When I still thought I was here, on the beach, for a photoshoot, I was fascinated by the scenery. The beach, the driftwood, the rocks, the lush forest. It was deeply intimidating and unbelievably beautiful at the same time."

"I get that. Every day I'm on patrol, I'm reminded of how stunning nature is, and how small we are in comparison."

Levi's smile widened. "Yeah. Super small. Which is why my appreciation turned into fear really quickly upon learning I'd be stuck out there for a week. What was beautiful before was suddenly daunting and scary."

Rubbing my chest, I nodded. I couldn't imagine how he must've felt. I knew bits and pieces, and had smelled the fear coming off of him in waves, but that didn't mean I really got what it'd been like for him.

After all, nature was a part of me. The woods were my second home. If I wanted or needed to, I could survive out there for weeks or even months without a problem. I'd just turn into my wolf form. Not being able to change wasn't a concept I could grasp.

We stayed silent for a while, both content to look outside at the trees swaying in the light breeze. The storm had passed, but even the lawn surrounding the packhouse was a testimony of yesterday's weather. Small branches were strewn everywhere, the lawn was dotted with leaves, and we didn't usually have random pieces of soggy paper lying around.

"Soo… what are fated mates?" Levi eventually asked. "It sounds like it's really important."

I swallowed and cleared my throat to get at least a couple of seconds until I had to answer.

"It is really important," I answered, taking a deep breath and bracing myself for his reaction. "You know what a soulmate is, right?"

Levi chuckled. "Yeah, I don't think there's anyone who doesn't know what a soulmate is supposed to be. But to be completely upfront with you: I don't really believe in soulmates. There are eight billion people in the world… thinking that there's just one person out there for you is kind of depressing, don't you think? The chances of finding your soulmate would be abysmal, basically condemning you to an unfulfilled life."

Ouch.

I rubbed my chest. My wolf whimpered, and it felt like he was flattening his ears.

The human part of me got it, even though his words still fucking hurt. The animalistic part of me did not understand how he could say something like that because, to him, our connection was obvious. To me, too. I felt it with every fibre of my body. His scent called out to me, the most tantalizing mix I'd ever smelled. And just being close to him put me at ease. I couldn't even explain it; there was just this part of me that knew.

Levi coughed, finally turning his head towards me. Upon seeing my expression, he winced and grimaced. "I take it you do believe in soulmates?"

"It's not really soulmates I believe in," I said. It was the moment of truth, and my heart was beating out of my damn chest with nerves. "And it's less believing than knowing. I know there are fated mates. I've seen countless fated pairs. It's quite a common thing in shifters."

"So… shifters do find their soulmate?"

"Their fated mates. Yes."

Levi nodded, but his brow was still furrowed, his full lips pinched into a straight line, and doubt clouded his eyes. "How do you know? I mean, for humans, it's not uncommon to say your spouse is the other half of your soul. So, one could argue humans find their soulmates, too, when in reality they just have a healthy, happy relationship."

"Shifters recognize their mates by scent."

Levi blinked.

"You mean they smell really good to each other?"

I nodded.

"That's weird." He bit his lip and cocked his head, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "And how do you know someone smells good because they're your fated mate and don't just… wear a cologne you really like?"

As dire and serious as the conversation was, I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"It's definitely different. First of all, most shifters don't really like cologne or perfume. Our noses are really, really sensitive, which means many strong scents can hurt our noses. Perfumes tend to not smell good, but overwhelming. Also, perfumes and stuff are artificial, that's actually something we can smell, too. I guess you could argue we might still get fooled by perfume made from essential oils, and yes, those can be more tolerable for us. But it's still easily discernible from scenting your fated mate. Like… I was still miles away when I picked up your scent, and I just knew. My wolf knew. It's really difficult to describe because it's just a part of me, part of my nature, and…"

"Wait." Levi held up one hand, turning his whole body to face me. "You… you want to tell me I'm your fated mate?"

Fuck.

"Uhm… yeah?"

He shook his head, and my heart crumbled, splintering into tiny pieces. I rubbed my chest and tried to breathe as an invisible rope tightened around my throat, making it impossible to get air into my lungs.

I felt like I was dying, suffocating right in front of my mate.

"But I'm human," Levi said, waving with one hand up and down his body.

"Doesn't matter," I croaked, still trying to get my lungs to start working again.

My wolf paced restlessly inside of me, wanting to burst free, to show our mate that we were worthy of him. To convince him we really were his mate.

"How can it not matter?"

I shrugged.

At least he was still talking to me. That meant not everything was lost, right?

"It doesn't matter to me. Yes, human mates are rare, but not unheard of. We have a few human-shifter pairs in our pack." I didn't mention that two of them were here because the shifter had been cast out of their own pack for mating a human. Shifters could be incredibly narrow-minded. While most shifters liked to pretend we were better than humans, we really weren't. They had their prejudices and beliefs, and so did we.

"But…" Levi grabbed his hair with his hands and tugged. "How am I supposed to know, huh? You're saying you can smell that I'm your mate, right? And now you're what? Willing to enter a lifelong commitment? Marry me?"

Basically, but I didn't tell him that. It didn't look like he was ready to hear that.

"But what about me? How do I know? Because I sure as shit can't smell the difference between you and other people. How do I know? You can't expect me to just take your word for it. That's… ludicrous !" He kept pulling his hair, his face a mix of disbelief and pain, and so many other emotions I lost track of them. "You can't expect me to give up my life, move here and marry you because you're telling me I smell good to you, can you? Do you?"

I wanted to reach out, wanted to pull him into a hug, desperately wanted to tell him everything would be okay and we'd figure things out together.

But I didn't dare touch him right now. I wanted to be his source of comfort, but I was currently the source of his agitation—and I had no idea how to make it better.

"It's too much," he finally whispered, his eyes searching for mine. "It's too much at once."

The tears swimming in his eyes almost made my knees buckle. It was pure willpower that kept me upright.

Part of me got it. That's why I'd wanted to wait until even broaching this subject. I knew he was human, and I'd known I was going to have to be patient with him because things weren't the same for humans as they were for shifters. Over time, he'd be able to feel the connection. Hell, I was pretty sure he could feel it already, but it would strengthen over time, and he needed to see it for what it was. It wasn't something I could show him; he needed to find out for himself.

But the other part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and die because it felt like my mate was rejecting me. I knew he wasn't, but it still felt like it. And there was nothing in the world that hurt more than being rejected by the one person who should love you unconditionally. The one person who was destined to be yours.

"Do you need… time?" I asked, my voice weirdly hoarse and empty. "Space?"

Levi looked at me, a tear running down his cheek. "I don't know what I need. It's just… all too much. My head hurts. I was betrayed, abandoned, starving for more than three days. I almost died, found out that shifters exist—and other supernatural beings, too—got saved, and now you're telling me we're… fated to fall in love? It's more than I can comprehend right now. I'm sorry. If you really think we're somehow destined to be together and love each other, this is probably not what you want to hear right now, but I really can't do this."

I forced myself to nod. Forced myself to keep standing, to take a deep breath and say, "You have all the time in the world. I'll always respect your wishes and boundaries. I'll send Gray up so he can talk to you about your options, okay? I… I'll go and give you some space."

Then I forced myself to turn around and leave.

I didn't look back. I couldn't. Because if I did, I wouldn't find the strength to do what was necessary to respect him.

My wolf was protesting, digging his paws in, clawing at me, howling, screaming, baring his teeth at me, but I kept him under control.

It's what Levi wanted.

Gray was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, the colour draining from his face as he saw me.

I didn't say anything. There were no words for what I was feeling.

I simply opened the door, let my wolf out, and ran.