Chapter 28

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

Curled around an oversized ball of seaweed, something to cuddle while her heart ached and her eyes wouldn't stop stinging, Nireed occasionally twitched her fins to keep water passing through her gills. Thankfully by the time she'd gotten home and had swum to her room, her older sister was already out at the deep-sea vents and would be working on the trident project for Ryn over the next few days. Nireed wasn't ready to face her, or the "I told you so" that was sure to follow.

Delphine and Melusina had come to check on her at some point, bringing food and worried questions, but she'd waved them off, wanting to be left alone. She wasn't ready to admit to anyone that she had already lost her could-be mate, or worse yet, that she'd shared pod secrets with him that could be used to fuel ire against merfolk. Reid had asked for honesty, and she trusted him enough to give it, but he'd been so horrified by her and what the pod had done, she might've made an enemy out of him instead.

And yet, her traitorous, reckless heart, which apparently didn't have a shred of self-preservation left, couldn't bear the possibility that she might never see him again. Nireed didn't want to lose him. At least not the version of Reid who helped her break into a Nautic warehouse to look for evidence; or asked about merfolk medicine as he treated her wounds; or rescued her from drowning when she was too injured to move; or held her as she cried, because she didn't know how to keep her people from dying.

Maybe he just needed space, and once he'd had time to think, he'd come back. And then she could explain what she'd done to try to make amends.

Nireed shook her head, hurt, angry tears burning her eyes.

Her people just wanted to be left alone, and she was getting tired of trying to prove why they deserved to live.

It hadn't taken Reid long to realize he'd a built-in best friend for life with his older sister. He'd gone over for brunch and a sibling heart-to-heart, but in just a few short hours, she'd helped him work out the logistics for a grand gesture that would hopefully salvage his relationship with Nireed. No questions asked. She'd just leapt to help him.

Because they were family. He'd been missing out on that kind of ride or die, big-sibling energy.

They embarked on a borrowed research vessel the next morning, catching sight of The Lovely Lorelei in the distance as they left the harbor. Not only was it a fishing day for Killian and his crew, but they were also planning to dip in and out of mermaid territory with a mission of their own. There was a local reporter onboard, a close friend of the family apparently, working on an investigative piece about Nautic's attempt to push out local independent fishermen and monopolize the Gulf of Maine. They were going to see if they could catch The Seriphus in action by using The Lovely Lorelei as bait.

Hands tucked beneath her armpits for warmth, Lorelei stared at the fishing trawler across the waterway, no doubt thinking about the family she had onboard. It wasn't just Killian out there, but Dr. Branson's husband and father, too, whom she was quite close with.

"Hey." He gently nudged her with his elbow. "What's up?"

"Just hoping it goes well."

"You good with your husband putting his neck on the line like this?"

She smiled wistfully. "He and the crew have skin in the game too. They're angry about what Nautic's doing to the industry and other local fishermen. Killian fights for what he believes in and wants to ensure his crew has a future continuing what they do, and I love that about him. Sure, I'm worried, and I'd hate to see him potentially lose another boat doing this, but considering the number of times I've done something risky, who am I to preach to him about doing the safe thing?"

"That's fair." Reid nodded, performing gear checks as he spoke. "Thank you both for doing this by the way." Both Lorelei and Dr. Lila Branson had dropped everything on their day off to cart his sorry ass out to merfolk territory so he could beg his people-eating mermaid girlfriend for forgiveness. This was an overwhelming gesture from people he barely knew.

"We all fuck up sometimes." Lila, occupied at the helm, shot a gracious smile his way. "Not that I'd quite qualify this as one. I'm sure she'll be relieved to see you." He hoped that was true. They would spend the better part of the morning powering through the ocean in one of her research boats, a little forty-footer. "And this is for Nireed too. That girl deserves to be happy."

The "after everything she's been through" part was left unspoken, but he heard it all the same. "She told me a little about her time in captivity."

"It was really bad." Lila nodded grimly. "We got her out in time, but…"

"Only just barely," Lorelei finished, readjusting her wet suit. It was uniquely designed to reconfigure between her human and mermaid forms. It also had a GPS device clipped to it that allowed Lila to track her location and depth, something they'd be monitoring closely on this trip. What came next had to be timed just right. "We're not sure how much she remembers, and we didn't have the heart to tell her in case she never knew, but in the months after, Lila found documentation that a few ex-colleagues of ours were planning to dissect her."

He sucked in a sharp breath.

"Doctorates in marine science and those idiots couldn't figure out how to properly wipe a hard drive." Lila huffed a bitter laugh. "Suppose I should thank them for giving the legal team even more damning evidence to serve up in court."

"She has nightmares," Reid said quietly. "Wakes up thinking she's back in the tank."

Neither of them seemed surprised.

"I have PTSD too." The way his sister said it was so matter of fact she could've been describing her hair color. No hesitation, no shame, just truth. "I'll talk to her."

A trained therapist was what Nireed needed, but who would see her? No medical records, no social security number, no insurance. Even if she was his…dependent…it would still be complicated. Talking with his sister wasn't the same as talking to a professional, but at least it was something.

"So, Reid," Lila said in a lighter tone, signaling a subject change. "You in the Coast Guard for the long haul?"

It was casually asked but far from a simple question with a simple answer.

That certainly had been his plan when he made it through basic, then aviation school. But now, with Nireed to consider?

If there's even a relationship left, dumb ass.

Optimistically speaking, if he made up with Nireed, he had a few more years left at his current assignment in Haven Cove. But after that, he could end up anywhere. The Great Lakes, deep down south, the West Coast. While he most certainly could put in for other stations in the New England region, that didn't guarantee he'd get them. And it didn't change the fact that any other unit would be farther away from Nireed and her home.

Could he really ask her to swim farther than she already did? He'd gladly use all his leave to fly back to Haven Cove and visit, but would it be enough?

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of his stomach.

That was a few weeks out of the year at most. Something was better than nothing, of course, but it would be hard.

"You know," Lila continued, keeping her tone casual. "Mermaid research is starting to bring in the kind of funding for ocean exploration that outer space has always gotten. We're going to have a large research ship out here soon once the area is officially declared a marine sanctuary. Think of it like a space station. We're going to need a rescue swimmer onboard, and there'll be research internship positions, too, for anyone with an interest in marine science. No experience necessary."

Lorelei smirked. "Are you offering him a job?"

"Wouldn't be the first time I got someone a job who needed it for love, " Lila replied with a sly, knowing grin.

"And career dreams!" Lorelei playfully whacked her friend on the arm.

"The pay and benefits will be so good."

Reid snorted. That was an innuendo if he ever heard one.

"Lila, gross. That's my brother."

"We'll get you technical diver certified," Lila plowed on shamelessly, "so you can visit Nireed during your downtime. I guess it would still be a long-distance relationship, what with breathing limitations, but she's less than two hundred feet below us right now, so really, it's like you'd be living in the same neighborhood, same block even. Which is a lot better than being sixty miles away, or more, at any given time."

The wheels in his head were turning.

Stationed out here permanently as a civilian rescue swimmer and a duck scrubber? It was a good pitch. Great even. Something he might've considered regardless of the circumstances. It would be like living in a National Geographic documentary—always on the forefront of discovery. His casual love of science didn't have to be casual or vicarious. He could do actual field work in the Gulf of Maine and with a world-renowned marine biologist. The expert in mermaid science.

Who was also an unapologetic matchmaker.

And his sister lived here. Not to mention his mom already made regular trips out to see her. Why not for him, too?

Opportunities like this didn't come around often. And he didn't see why he shouldn't consider it.

Lorelei was the last person Nireed expected to see. But here she was, in the underwater abode Nireed shared with her sister, shaking her from a depressed stupor and dragging her out by the arm and into a fresh current of water.

"What's happening?" Nireed signed one-handed. "Is it Nautic?"

Lorelei shook her head, continuing to tow her along.

Scenting the water around them, Nireed tried to decipher Lorelei's mood, but it was annoyingly obscure. But what she did catch was a whiff of a familiar scent she'd been desperately trying to forget up until now. Why did Lorelei smell like …Panic spliced through her. Freeing her arm, she signed in a flurry of motion, "Is it Reid? Is he okay? What happened?"

Lorelei took her hands, gently stilling them. She touched their foreheads together a moment, a quiet demand that Nireed listen, before pulling back to sign, "Just trust me, okay? Everything will be all right."

Nireed swallowed thickly, then nodded, letting Lorelei lead the way. Whatever it was must have been big for her to come out all this way, and yet, she wasn't detecting panic, upset, or any number of alarming emotions. Lorelei was as cool as a clam.

Together, they ascended out of the city and toward the surface. But notably, not toward shore. There was a small boat drifting overhead, engine still and silent, and nothing else. No Coast Warrior Helicopter. No Reid.

Disappointment and fear ravaged her already frayed emotions.

Nireed tried flashing her bioluminescence to get Lorelei's attention. She wanted to sign "where are we going?" but the other mermaid either didn't notice or ignored her and kept on swimming.

I don't understand. What's happening?

Just as she was about to give Lorelei's tail fins a sharp tug, a splash overhead caught her attention, followed by the spike of a familiar scent. Not a stale, lingering scent leftover from past contact, but strong and penetrating her senses, shearing a deep pang of longing through her.

No. It couldn't be.

She drew up short, hands clutched to her chest, not daring to hope. She scented the water again, sure she'd imagined it.

There was a Surface Dweller here. In the water, with them, but not just any Surface Dweller.

Reid?

And then she saw him.

A sleek form diving down, his black and silver gear distinguishing him in an ocean of blue. It didn't look like him—the goggles, the suit, the fins, and the large, cylindrical contraption strapped to his back obscured his features—but she knew.

Down and down he swam—ten feet, twenty, thirty—gradually and carefully descending to seventy feet below the surface, pausing at regular intervals along the way. This was more than twice what humans could safely free dive, according to Cure Creator, and while Reid wasn't free diving, that he'd come this far into the deep for her, set her heart racing.

This was unknown territory for him.

Lorelei finally turned; a soft smile illuminated by her glowing green bioluminescence. "We'll give you two some privacy. Be back in an hour," she signed, before swimming straight for the shadowy silhouette of the boat above. Nireed watched as Lorelei slithered onboard, the engine rumbling to life. And then, Reid's only way home raced off, leaving them completely alone.

Reid was here. Underneath the water. With her. He'd come all this way. Found a way to breathe. These were not the actions of a man who feared her.

He lifted a hand, a closed fist rotating twice over his heart. "I'm sorry," the sign said. Slashes of silver outlined his gloves, some kind of reflective material to help her see his hands' motions. Pointing his index fingers toward the surface, he brushed his fists together up and down, then opened one palm to make a waving motion with his hand like a fish's tail.

Reid stilled his hands, waiting. He'd practiced the words with Lorelei again and again until his execution was flawless, and he didn't have to think about making the motions anymore. But Nireed wasn't moving, save for the barest of twitches from her tail to keep water flowing past her gills.

What if he'd gotten it wrong anyway? Messed up the words in his overconfidence? For all he knew, he may have just insulted her, and his only lifeline to shore had just driven off to collect research samples. Maybe he'd been hasty in agreeing to that.

It was so dark down here he saw nothing else but Nireed, more beautiful and terrifying than ever before. A hundred or so feet spanned between them, her human-piscine skeletal structure glowing faintly in the darkness and her skin a canvas of twinkling amber starlight. Otherworldly. Extraterrestrial. A creature in her domain.

And he was at her complete and utter mercy.

Drown him. Devour him. Smash him on some rocks. Whatever pleased her most. But not leave. At least, not until he had the chance to lay himself bare, as she had so many times before.

She didn't have to forgive him, or even stick around to see what more he had to say, but he silently begged her not to swim off. He didn't think he could take it if she turned her back on him and dove where he could not follow.

Something changed in her demeanor as he watched. Her tail swished and bioluminescence brightened to a near blinding degree, like an incandescent bulb moments before bursting.

And then, she sprung.

She darted so fast through the water his eyes could only track the movement as a flash of lightning.

Oh God. This was it.

This was the end.

She's actually going to eat me.

Those were his final thoughts before Nireed slammed into him.

Head over fin they tumbled through the water, her momentum keeping them spinning round and round. Nireed's already tender eyes were awash in a fresh, searing wave of tears. He'd learned her name sign.

Starfish.

And not just that. He was here, actually here, underwater with her. At the heart of merfolk territory. Just a dozen feet down began the kelp forest's canopy, and about one hundred or so more began the cliff-side city where she and her people lived.

When they finally stopped, Reid was sucking in great gulps of air from the mouthpiece between his lips and clutching his middle, fear permeating the water. He'd begun to ascend, the influx of air into his lungs making him buoyant.

No, no, no, please don't be afraid!

Grabbing the center of his weighted diving belt, she pulled him back down and anchored him in place. In hindsight, tackling him hadn't been the best move, considering how they'd left things. For once, she wasn't even trying to scare him, but Reid must've mistaken excitement for an attack.

Twenty-Armed Goddess, she was glad to see him. All those grim, defeatist feelings she'd felt for the past day faded into the background, a spark of hope blooming in its stead. When he was by her side, they felt like a possibility again, and that what was damaged could be mended.

Down here, he was vulnerable and exposed, humbled by the open ocean. That meant something.

Still breathing heavy from being pounced on, Reid signed again, "I'm so sorry, Starfish. I shouldn't have run." The contrition was in his scent as much as his words, and scents didn't lie, but they could be misleading.

"You don't think I'm a monster?" she fingerspelled slowly, hoping he'd learned that much. Otherwise, they were going to have to surface for this conversation.

There was a glimmer of excitement in his scent, not because of what she'd said, but because he seemed to understand it. A lot of pausing and halting signing followed, but letter by letter he eventually replied, "I don't. Stay and read?"

She cocked her head to the right, curious. "Go on."

Dropping his hands, he withdrew something from the pouch strapped to his waist. The notebook. She watched as he flipped open to a page, fingers trembling. Carefully, she took it from him, smoothing a clawed hand over its waxy, water-resistant surface. Several pages were filled with his words.

Starfish,

You are the bravest, most selfless person I know. And by far, the most honorable. I asked for honesty, and you gave it, even though your history must have been painful and terrifying to share. It was hard to hear, I'll admit, but I never should have run from you, which I see now was probably the worst thing I could've done.

But I didn't run for the reasons you may think.

I needed some space to process, but not whether I felt unsafe around you. I don't fear your strength, I cherish it. The truth is, Nireed, I admire you, and want you, a terrifying amount. You fight to make a better, safer world each day. You're a protector. And I love that about you.

I'm so sorry for hurting you by letting you think otherwise.

I know we haven't known each other long, but there's not a night that goes by that I don't fall asleep to the thought of you. Not a morning either that I don't wake up wondering when I'll see you next. The days you stayed with me are my greatest treasure. I've replayed those memories over and over, cherishing every single one.

Staring up at the stars together. Watching you climb a mountain and ask to be flicked with bottled water because, of course you did. You're as fucking adorable as you are a terrifying wonder. It's the most mind-boggling combination, but it works for you, sweetheart.

I'd be remiss if I didn't also say that I think about tucking you inside my boat, in my bed…or spreading you across the seat of my bike…

A taste, that's all we've had, but I want the whole feast.

You've already gone great lengths to be with me. Now, this is me showing that I can come to you too. That I want to make this work. That I'm willing to fight for—and protect—us.

I want there to be an "us" if you'll have me.

Yours always,

Reid

By the time Nireed finished reading, her hands were trembling. This was how Reid saw her. Not as a monster, but as a hero, and he wanted her so bad it scared him. She'd been so afraid that what they'd shared in their few blissful days together meant more to her than it did to him, but this didn't sound like that at all.

Flipping back to the first pages, she began rereading, wanting to soak in every one of his words, when there was a light tap on her shoulder. She paused, looking up into the deep, dark abyss of Reid's eyes, her chest constricting at the grief she saw there.

"I don't want to lose you," he spelled out with his hands, a yawning ache stretching between them. He wanted to touch her—she could sense that—but he didn't dare.

Closing the notebook and tucking it safely inside the pouch he'd carried it in, she drew near, her luminescence soft as she cupped the nape of his neck, bringing her forehead to his. This was the version of Reid she wanted, the version that was worth fighting for, even when they argued. He didn't need to be perfect—she'd never expect that of him—but she needed him to try, and as long as he was trying, she'd have him, flaws and all.

"You won't," Nireed mouthed, as she signed one-handed. "But if you run again, I'll chase you."

Tension whooshed out of him, relief blooming in the water as his hands encircled her waist. He bumped his forehead to hers, nodding, a wordless promise. She kissed one cheek, then the other, all while lifting a hand to his mouthpiece. He gave another little nod, and she eased it from his mouth, claiming his lips for herself in a slow, drugging kiss.

There was a hunger in her heart. An ancient call pulsing through her veins.

Kraken Goddess, she wanted this man.

Lore warned sailors about kisses from sirens, a lovely but deadly temptation, and it was true. So many had been lured to their doom by her kind, only enjoying a few moments of bliss before the end. And right now, she held Reid's life in her hands, the very air he breathed.

Every press and pull from his mouth stoked a craving she needed to sate, the scales covering her needy flesh parting. His fingers bunched at her sides as he softly exhaled his last breath. A precious gift, given seventy feet beneath the surface.

For all that she would've loved to get lost in the heat of his mouth, she gave back his breathing apparatus. This wasn't an ending to their story, but a new beginning, and her greedy, hungry siren heart had room for forgiveness and affection too. She held him in place as he sucked in air, bubbles erupting between them on his exhale.

In and out. In and out.

When the water cleared, he threaded his fingers through her hair, his pupils blown wide, want hanging heavy between them.

"How much air?" she signed.

Lifting his wrist, he tapped the quietly ticking clock strapped there. "Seventy-five minutes." Left of ninety total.

There was enough time.

"Do you trust me?" Slipping her arms around his waist, Nireed hugged him close, his dual fins brushing against her tail.

He held her gaze. "Take me down."