9. Gianna

I don’t know what has come over me. Maybe it’s the fact Im having sex with my first love, my unrequited love, that Im feeling too much at once. He is so tender with me that I feel like I can melt in his arms. He is so sweet to me that it confuses me.

Years of tears, anger, and accumulated frustration come to the surface.

My second orgasm crashed over me with more sudden force than the first, moving through my veins with a swiftness that made me cry out, “Chris!”

His grip on my hips tightens as I clench against him, earning a growl from him. There’s something in the way he looks at me as he comes down from the high. Or maybe it’s my wishful thinking playing mind games with me.

“You okay?” He asks, looking worried.

I manage to smile softly at him. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

He doesnt look convinced. “You sure?”

“Yes,” I slowly stroke his damp hair with my fingers.

Then there is a knock at the door which throws me into a panic.

“Chris, are you in there?” Its Nala.

Oh my god.

“Shit!” He whispers an apology and jumps out of the bed. He quickly fishes for his clothes, messily putting them on.

The knocking gets more insistent. “Chris?”

“Im coming,” he yells back with a groan of frustration.

I cover myself with the sheets, suddenly self-conscious. I sit up on the bed at a loss of what to do. Nala cant see me like this. She cant find out like this.

“Just stay in bed. I will distract her and take her away,” Chris promises. He messily tries to fix his hair but only ends up making it worse. He curses under his breath and walks to the door. He opens it slightly.

“Ive been looking for you everywhere. What took you so long to answer me?” I hear Nala say.

“I just needed a breather.” He manages to walk out through the small opening.

It isnt until he closes the door behind him that I relax.

I have never been reckless in my life. I always planned ahead. I didnt see this coming, and Im still recovering from the aftereffects of the sex.

I slowly get out of the bed and put on my dress and heels. I braid my hair just to curb its messiness.

I lean my ear against the door, but I cant hear anything. I wait a good ten minutes before I get the courage to exit the room.

Thankfully, the hallway is empty. I do my first walk of shame, making as little noise as possible as I descend the steps.

Most of the guests are wasted and lying recklessly around. I cant see Nala anywhere, which I am thankful for because I dont have a reasonable excuse for my absence.

But I cant leave without saying goodbye to her. As I near the kitchen, I hear Chris and Nala arguing in hushed voices.

Its rude to eavesdrop. I should turn around and leave. But Nala raised her voice a little bit, and her words kept me rooted in the spot. “Youve got to stop this reckless lifestyle you are living,” she says.

“What reckless lifestyle? You talk as if I go around picking girls off the street and sleeping with them,” Chris replies.

“How is it any different from what you do? You dont commit to anyone. How long are you going to continue living like this? Jessica is already hurt because of you.”

“Stop it. Just stop it.” He sounds so pissed off and hurt. “I may not be a saint, but I dont go around breaking girls hearts. Why is everyone blaming me for Jessicas pain? We both agreed to a no-strings-attached relationship. When she admitted her feelings, I had to stop it. I cant love her or anyone else.”

My heart sinks, and I lean against the wall.

“Do you want me to pursue a relationship with her when I dont love her?” he asks his sister.

“Thats not what Im driving at. I just want you to settle down. Mum and Dad wont be happy with this.”

He scoffs. “You can fulfill their dreams, but as far as Im concerned, Im not cut out for it.”

Unable to take it anymore, I rush out with only one destination in mind: my apartment.

My chest feels hollow, but I won’t cry. I knew this was just a one-time thing. Nothing more. But I still went and did it. I did this to myself.

Im so fucking stupid. But I won’t cry. I swallow thickly and rush into my apartment.

I splash my face with cold water in the bathroom. When I look at my reflection in the mirror, the memory of our passionate embraces, and his heated kisses rush through my mind.

It means nothing to him, while it means everything to me. This is a wake-up call to start leading with my head and not my heart.

Two can play this game.