5. Gianna

Work has been hectic today. I have gone over three clients today, and I have a migraine. Thankfully, my boss let us go early, but I know tomorrow will be more hectic. Apparently, we have a big client coming in.

As I near my apartment, I see a strange car parked in front of my apartments gate. Thinking its probably one of my neighbors visitors, I pass by it to open the gate.

“My love,” I hear from close by.

No, please, no. Not him. No.

I inwardly panic. I clumsily try to open the gate as I sense him come nearer.

He holds my arm and turns me to face him. My heart hurts as I face my ex-boyfriend, Kendrick. The man who shattered my belief in love.

“Why do you keep running away from me, my love?” Hes smiling at me as if nothing went wrong. As if we are okay.

“Dont touch me.” I wriggle out of his hold, but hes still smiling. “Why are you here? I thought I made it clear that I dont want to see you anymore.”

“You broke up with me. I didnt want it to end,” he says through gritted teeth.

I stare blankly at him, wondering why I dated such a dumb individual. I must have been so desperate to have a boyfriend that I fell into the wrong hands.

“Love, I cut all contact with her. It was just once. Just one time and you gave up on me, on us.”

“I dont give a damn what happened. I already let you go. Free me,” I plead.

“Free you?” He repeats, looking mad.

If theres one thing I always avoided, its making Kendrick mad. His anger is uncontrollable. You just have to avoid him when hes angry.

He’s so close to me I can feel his breath as he speaks. “How can I free the woman I love even though she abandoned me? You broke up with me over text. Come on, that was cruel.”

I cant believe my ears. “What I did was cruel? How dare you!” I push at his chest, and he stumbles a little backward. “You cheated on me in broad daylight, and you expect me to give you an honorable breakup? You are putting the blame for everything on me. You want me to take you back when you are not even remorseful about what you did.”

“I cheated because you never loved me.” He pushes me against the gate, my back hitting the iron gates. I wince at the contact. He crowds my space; his cologne, which used to make me feel warm, now makes me nauseous.

“There you go again. And you wonder why I broke up with you over text. Because I was avoiding your stupid confrontation,” I spit back. “Now get away from me.” I try to push him, but he pins my arm upwards against the gate.

“No one breaks up with me. Im not done with you. You are mine.” He has a crazed look in his eyes.

Hes starting to scare me.

“You are crazy,” I say under my breath.

“Crazy for you, love.” He starts to lean in, and I try to get out of his grasp, but to no avail. Just as Im about to hit his groin with my leg, hes pulled backward away from me.

The next thing I knew, Chris rushed to me, looking worried. “Are you okay, Gianna?” His gaze runs over my body for any sign of damage or pain.

I blink in surprise, tongue-tied.

“Who the hell are you?” Kendrick roars in anger, which catches Chris’s attention. He finally looks away from me to glare at Kendrick.

“I should be asking you that question.”

Kendrick looks at me, raises his eyebrow, and points at Chris. “Is he the one you replaced me with? Its only been a few weeks and you have already replaced me. I didnt know you were this easy.”

Chris punches him then, sending him backward towards his car.

“Fuck,” Kendrick groans as he grips his bleeding jaw, shock evident on his face.

Chris grabs him by the collar, forcing him to face him. “You dont manhandle a woman, you bastard.” He punches him again, dragging him to the drivers side of the car. “Now get out, and dont you dare show your face here again.”

Kendrick nods and immediately enters his car. I have never seen him so pliant and helpless. He speeds off, and I feel a weight lifted off me.

“You’re shaking,” Chris says as he returns to my side.

“I am?” I muttered, looking down at myself. Truly, I am shivering.

I hadnt even noticed. I was too shocked at the scene that played out in front of me. Kendrick had scared the daylights out of me. Im so out of it that I dont even properly register Chris leading me through the gate while rubbing my arms.

Its only when he carries me in his arms that I come back to my senses. “What are you doing?” I ask, my voice shaky due to my nervous state.

“Taking care of you.”

Something warm swells in my stomach, and I feel a blush rising on my cheeks.

His arms, warm and strong, wrap tight around me and tug me close. His scent invades my senses: spice and orange peels.

He walks into the elevator and looks down at me in his arms. “What floor?”

“The second floor. You dont have to carry me all the way. Im okay. I can walk.”

“I never said you couldnt.” He doesnt spare me a glance and just presses the button of the elevator. “Now, wheres your key?”

I hand it to him without question. I never knew a day would come when I would prefer to be stuck with Chris than anybody else. I guess thats how life is.

He opens the door and walks in. I expect him to place me down immediately. But instead, he walks further into the space, his eyes wandering. I suddenly feel self-conscious about my apartment, wondering if theres anything out of place even though I cleaned last night.

He places me gently on the sofa and takes off his suit jacket. He rolls up his sleeves, revealing his strong forearms. “Should I get you some water, or do you want me to leave you alone?” He whispers the last sentence as if afraid that I would tell him to leave.

But how can I when he saved me, and now I feel safe around him?

“Water,” I answer.

He beams, eyes creased lightly. “Okay.”

I point at my kitchen, and he sets off to work. I rest my back against the sofa, feeling amused at the absurd situation Ive found myself in.

He comes back with a glass of water and hands it to me. He sits next to me, albeit creating some distance, making me feel flustered. His eyes still rove over the apartment. He looks like he belongs here, sitting on my sofa in his white shirt and loosened tie.

I take a sip of the water, hoping Im able to hide my flushed cheeks.

“Are you feeling better now?” He asks, his eyes still looking at me with concern.

I manage to smile despite my flustered state.

He lets out a sigh and clasps his hands together. “I know this is none of my business,” he starts, and I look up at him. “But dont you think you should inform the cops about him? I fear he might come back.”

I shake my head, disagreeing. “Theres no need for that. Im sure he wont be coming back.”

Reporting Kendrick to the police means he would probably end up in jail with the kind of lifestyle he lived. Hanging out with drug addicts and always involved in a fight. I cant do that to Cara, his mom. Cara took care of me as if I was her daughter. Shes part of the reason I even lasted eight months with him.

“You sound so sure.” There’s hesitation in his voice.

“Even if he comes, I can take care of myself,” I assure him.

He frowns, obviously not convinced. “I know that. But I doubt that guy would give up on you easily. He seems highly obsessed with you. Like he would do anything to get you back.”

“And why do you care?” I ask the question that has been bothering me since I saw him again.

He shifts in his chair, looking shocked at the question.

I realize how rude I sound, so I tried again. “I mean you never cared for me, why now?”

He stares straight, gathering his thoughts. His dark hair catches the light. The silence is not tense, though, and it is not entirely uncomfortable. Though, there’s a weight to it—a depth of things still unsaid. I want to break it, to cut through the quiet and ask again. But I wait patiently.

It feels like an eternity before he finally speaks.

“I saw you as a potential threat to my sister. I thought you had an ulterior motive for befriending her. I tolerated you for her sake but could never warm up to you because of my suspicions.” His voice is low, deep, and quiet.

I suddenly remember what Nala told me about her brother years ago. She explained that Chris categorized people and treated them based on whether he deemed them worthy or not.

He doesnt bother to treat people he doesnt trust kindly. Not caring if they dislike or fear him. Those he deems trustworthy though, he’d go to the ends of the earth for them; perhaps beyond.

I fell into the untrustworthy category. “I guess I wasnt deemed worthy enough for your respect,” I say.

He winces and meets my eyes. Surprisingly, his eyes are full of remorse. “Im sorry. I shouldnt have treated you that way. You were just a child, and I, being an adult, should have known better.”

He runs his hand through his hair, and I find myself thinking about doing the same to it. Wondering if it would be slick and smooth in my hands if I do so.

He lets out a bitter chuckle. “I was so silly and foolish. I thought everyone was out to get something from us. I thought you were friends with Nala out of selfish interests. I even had you followed.”

My eyes widen a little in surprise. “You had me followed?”

He nods, and his eyes become tinged with something I can’t entirely read. “I was that paranoid. You werent the only one. And even after not seeing anything to question, I still treated you like shit.” He bites down on his lower lip. “And for that, Im sorry. Im sorry for everything I did to you. I know an apology wont fix anything or take back the hurtful words and things I did to you. But I will keep trying to earn your forgiveness no matter how long it takes.”

I hold my breath, my heart thundering in my chest. I have always prepared myself for any unforeseen circumstances. But Im not prepared for this. I didnt see this coming. I dont even know how to react.

His usual poker face that makes him look grumpy and unapproachable is gone. Because right now, I see so much more. His vulnerability is so open and so clear.

The Chris I knew was too proud to apologize. I dont know how to handle this Chris next to me.

Everything was easier when he was insufferable. It was easier to hate him then, but now I dont know how I feel anymore.

His eyes meet mine again, and he whispers, “Im so sorry.”

I dont know what to do with myself. I should probably say something, but I dont know what to say. Its all so much and so unexpected.

Hes watching me with the fondest expression, making my heart skip a few beats. If fourteen-year-old Gianna could see this, she would be over the moon.

“I will do anything to correct my wrongs. Anything.” He sounds so determined. “Just dont tell me to stay away from you, please.”

“Why?” I question.

His eyes flicker to my lips and back to my eyes in a second. Its so fast that if I had blinked, I would have missed it.

“Because I cant.”

To say Im stunned would be an understatement. I swallow hard, my heart leaping and galloping wildly in my chest at his words and his awe-filled eyes.

The way he stares hungrily at me has my mouth running dry. His eyes darken with pure lust. Whats going on?

“Can I kiss you?” he asks softly.

Its like an electric shock has gone through me. I became aware that we had stopped talking and were only staring at each other. I give a subtle nod. I havent been able to forget our first kiss.

He shifts closer, his hands reaching up to caress my jaw lightly. He leans in and our lips meet.

His lips are tender against mine. My hand rises up on its own to hold onto his shoulder. My heart soars; sparks travel down my spine.

He pulls back for a second and angles my head, connecting our mouths more firmly. It doesn’t take long for the kiss to deepen, my hands sliding into the dark hair, which is softer than I even imagined.

His tongue darts out to tease along the seam of my lips, and I open it to allow him entrance. He tastes like coffee. The feeling of our tongues sliding together, tentative at first, has me barely suppressing a whimper.

I should push him away, but the gaping hole of warmth beckons me to its depth.

His hands tighten around my waist, drawing me close. A needy sound escapes my lips as the kiss becomes heated.

The back of his knuckles slide down my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. They brush down the curve of my waist before reaching up across my ribs to the side of my breasts.

My nipples tighten beneath my dress. Heat is rapidly spreading through my stomach, pulsing between my legs. I fist my hand, willing my body to calm down.

His other hand reaches up to move my hair from my shoulder, baring the skin of my neck. “Gianna,” he whispers.

The feel of his breath against the sensitive skin of my neck has goosebumps trailing down my arms. My mind is hazy, and my brain has gone foggy.

His mouth moves to my jaw, then down to my neck until he reaches the sensitive hollow by my clavicle. I let out a high-pitched moan, earning a satisfied hum from him.

I can feel his erection press against my legs.

Hes hard for me. I made him hard.

My alarm rings, snapping me back to reality, and I realize the gravity of where this is leading. Before I can completely give in to the temptation, I push at his chest.

He stills and looks at me. Whatever he sees in my eyes makes his clear from their lust-filled state, and he withdraws away from me.

I straighten my dress and stare at the floor, avoiding his burning gaze. I feel his eyes on my fidgeting hands, and he stands.

He suddenly clears his throat, making me look up at him. His hair is a mess, and his lips are swollen. He has made no move to correct his appearance. “I should go,” he says quietly.

I nod, feeling self-conscious under his assessing gaze. “Ye-yeah, you probably should.”

He frowns and rubs the back of his head. “I will get going now.” He straightens his shirt and grabs his suit jacket.

He casts me one last look before the door closes behind him.

I let out a breath and buried my head in my hands.

Oh my god! I kissed him. I kissed Chris.

We almost had sex. If my phone alarm hadnt sounded, I would have slept with him.

Am I that desperate?

I turn off the alarm and place the phone on my chest, thankful for the interruption. I would never be able to forgive myself if I had slept with Chris.

We dont even get along, and I almost let him… I cant even bring myself to imagine how weak and pliant I was to his touch. Have I always been that sensitive?

I feel like crying because this is a big deal to me. Even if Im trying to convince myself that it isnt, it is a big deal to me but not to Chris. To him, Im now probably on the list of girls who he can easily get into their pants.

I know the feeling I have for him is dangerously unhealthy to both my mind and soul. Yet my heart and body want what they want, regardless of all logical thinking.

And I know Im screwed.