32. Chapter 32

The girls are excited, so I hide my disappointment from them as we walk out of the council chambers. They skip and bounce down the hall, talking over each other with their ideas for how to fundraise the money we'll need. Occasionally they remember I'm there and ask, "What do you think, Coach?"

They're good ideas. That's what I think, and that's what I tell them. Except for Cora's bikini carwash suggestion. There's snow on the ground, number one. And, number two, even if it were one hundred degrees out, I wouldn't be okay with ten-year-old girls wearing bikinis to wash cars.

The bake sale, yard sale, and lemonade stand are all workable. And Janie's already set up a Go Fund Me. We might, at least, be able to earn enough to have a pizza party with those fundraisers.

But there's no way we'll make enough money in one month to pay for half the cost of the pond. We'll need corporate sponsorship, or the kind of philanthropic donation Georgia mentioned. I don't say that to the girls, of course. I'm not dashing their dreams before they've had a chance to revel in them. That's the beauty of being a kid: you don't know what things cost, so you don't know how impossible it might be to get what you want.

The grown-ups in the room, on the other hand, know what a long shot it is that we'll find all the money we need. When we reach the main doors, Janie's dad claps me on the back and says, "It was a good try, Coach."

The other parents nod their agreement with him, also patting my back on their way out the door, uttering similar words. I'm both relieved and sad that we're all on the same page when it comes to the reality of our situation. The odds of keeping the pond are pretty low. The Paradise Squirrels may be done before they've even played another team.

When the last of the girls and parents walk out of City Hall, I'm left alone in the foyer with my family.

"A good try?" Dad says, and we all turn toward him. "It was more than a good try. All you have to do is get some donations, and the city will put up the rest of the money. You've got some momentum now, Bear."

My eyes travel around the circle my siblings, Seb, and Hope have formed around me. They each meet my gaze with a smile and an encouraging nod.

"We'll put on a show to raise money," Adam says.

"I'll get the word out," Seb adds, and Hope follows with, "We'll make a whole event of it."

"All tips from Britta's are yours this week," Britta adds. "And I'll make sure everyone knows the funds are for Paradise's first girl's hockey team."

My eyes land on Georgia who tips her head back and sags her shoulders in defeat before saying, "I'm still working on getting the donation from Dexter for the community center—which, for the record, is the better plan—but maybe the donation could go for the pond." Then she flashes a smile. "Either way, Zach and I will put some money in."

Zach looks at her in surprise, but with a raised eyebrow from his wife, he quickly adds, "Of course we will."

Then Georgia flashes her red-lipped smile, all confidence. "But I'm going to convince you to put the ice rink at the community center. This town needs both girls' hockey and a bookstore."

She opens her mouth as though she's going to say more, but then pulls in her lips and sends me a knowing look. Like she can tell I'm thinking and I need Cassie.

Cassie is part of the reason the city council is giving my proposal a real chance. I know she didn't mean for their decision to happen, but it's not lost on me she was willing to help me at the risk of losing the shop.

Maybe she didn't realize the risk until it was too late, but she stuck her neck out for me. I hesitate to even hope it's because she has feelings for me. Not because I don't want that—I very much do, but because the thing that's also at risk now is any chance for the two of us.

If I'm able to buy the pond, she won't get her bookstore. She won't have any reason to stay in Paradise. I won't allow myself to believe I might be reason enough.

I scan the foyer for her, but she's disappeared. "Where is Cassie?"

Georgia and Zach scan the room as if they've just realized she's gone, too.

"She left," Britta says. "Almost as fast as Lester did." She laughs at her own joke, then grows serious. Or, at least as serious as she ever gets. "You should probably thank her for giving the council the idea to let you have another month, don't you think? Maybe in person?"

My sister's teasing grin should make me mad. Instead, I return it. "I definitely should thank her… but not tonight."

Britta's face falls, and the rest of my family looks just as disappointed.

"It's late, and we've all had a big day." My voice pitches higher, giving away how nervous I am.

I don't know how to thank Cassie and I can't be sure what it means that she was willing to fight for me. I know what I want it to mean. I also know if I see her tonight, I won't be able to stop myself from kissing her again.

And I won't be able to stop myself from telling her I want her to stay. I didn't think I did, but now that there's a real possibility of her leaving, I can't picture her not being in Paradise anymore. I can't imagine not having someone who makes my blood boil so hot, I want to fight.

But if she rejects me, I'm afraid I'll lose all the confidence I've gained tonight. And I need that confidence if I'm going to get my girls their rink.

"It's only eight o'clock. You should go," Adam says.

My head whips in his direction. "You want me to see Cassie tonight? I thought you'd be the happiest that she might not be able to open her bookstore."

He shrugs. "I like to read. The idea of a bookstore has grown on me."

I stare at him. Not because I feel betrayed—I don't—but because Adam hates change even more than I do, especially when it comes to Paradise. Even though Evie works with Georgia, whose TV show is the reason for Paradise's most recent growth, Adam hates that new people are moving in.

The fact he's willing to change his position further jumbles my feelings about choosing the pond when there's a chance—as slight as it might be—that a relationship with Cassie might also be a choice.

All three of my sisters—especially the two I gained through marriage—and Hope smile at me as they file out the door, each of them saying something about not letting an opportunity pass or striking while the iron is hot. My brothers and Seb follow close behind until Dad and I are the last ones left.

He pulls me into a tight hug. "Proud of you, son." He lets me go, but keeps his hands clasped around my shoulders. "You should listen to your family. Don't wait to thank Cassie. That girl has feelings for you, even if she doesn't know it yet."

"How would you know that?"

"Trust your old man." He flashes me a grin. "Now go convince her she feels the same way you do before you miss your chance."

Dad walks out the door, leaving me both stunned and hopeful.

I wish I could say I'm not still confused about why Cassie did what she did in the city council meeting. I wish the only feeling I've had for Cassie since she decided to buy the shop is frustration. That would make everything easier. I could do whatever it took to keep the pond without worrying about losing her.

Not that I have anything to lose with her, other than a possibility. One intense make-out session doesn't make a relationship. But the memory of it makes me hate the thought of her leaving—of never having a chance of kissing her again.

If that were the only thing I might lose, I might be okay. The memory would fade with time. But I will never forget that Cassie was willing to compromise so that we could both get what we want. That's what I won't get over. If she'd given up and told the city council she didn't want the shop anymore, I don't think I'd be so conflicted.

I'd know she wasn't right for me.

I've already been in one relationship with a woman willing to sacrifice her own needs and dreams for mine; willing to let my thoughts and opinions become her own; willing to lose herself entirely to me.

I don't want another Grace.

I want Cassie.