1. Poppy

Chapter 1

Poppy

R un! Run, Poppy, run!

The hiss in my ears pops my eyes open, whipping my neck to the side as my heart leaps into my throat. At the base of my neck, behind my earlobe, the dull throb of the crescent moon aches. My left hand inches upward, but the mark doesn’t burn as much as it initially felt like it did in my dream. The memory of the nightmare has fangs gnashing at the tender skin of my neck. The tip of my finger trails over the mark carefully, but I’m right—it doesn’t hurt at all, even though I’m expecting it to. It’s not sensitive, even though it seems like it should be. It never is.

It’s just calling out to me, even in my waking hours, somehow warning me, summoning me.

Preparing me, maybe?

I wish I knew.

Again, I wonder where the crescent-shaped mark came from, appearing to me like the dreams have over the past year. It’s all interconnected, but how? If the mark had been there before, no one had pointed it out, the obscure location behind my ear probably making it unnoticeable enough. If not for the newfound glowing, I never would have stumbled upon it myself with a makeup compact mirror. But even an internet search gave me nothing.

I’ll find out soon enough. Answers are coming.

Tonight.

“Poppyseed? Are you sleeping still?” Sadie calls out from the hallway, her lilting Southern twang reaching my ears before she opens my bedroom door without knocking. It’s a habit I wish she’d get over, now that I’m a fully grown adult, but try explaining that to an old-school Southern witch.

“My house, my rules,” Sadie likes to say, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to die on that hill. My adoptive mom’s done too much for me to be squabbling over a stupid little issue like privacy when she literally saved my life.

Hastily, I drop my hand away from my neck, allowing hair to fall back over my ear, and I curl back into the double bed nervously. For all her observational skills, Sadie doesn’t seem to have noticed the randomly activated mark behind my ear yet, and I’d like to keep it that way—at least for the next twenty-four hours.

All I want is some answers of my own before anyone can fire off some questions at me.

The witch stands at the threshold, her wise, sooty eyes narrowing suspiciously as she takes in my face. I can already tell she smells deception on me, and I haven’t even said anything.

She’s that good.

Placing her hands on her hips, she tilts her graying bun to the side, tendrils of black falling over her olive complexion. “What’s wrong? Why are you just sitting in bed?”

Forcing a smile, I throw the thin duvet aside. “Nothing,” I lie, avoiding her astute, witchy gaze. “I just woke up. I’m getting my bearings.”

She’s not buying it.

“Have you been having nightmares again?” she asks with concern.

Maybe she’s more onto me than I care to admit.

“What do you mean again?” I mutter, turning my back on my guardian.

Sadie stalks across the bedroom floor uninvited, and I swallow a groan, knowing there’s no sense in fighting the witch’s scrutiny. It’s like lying to a lie detector test. She always knows.

“What are they about?” Sadie presses. “Tell me what you remember.”

“Sadie, I’m fine,” I promise.

“You’re way too old for teenage secrecy bullshit, Poppy,” she scolds me. “You’re an adult now. If you need help, ask for it. I shouldn’t have to dig it out of you.”

“I will ask if I need it,” I grumble, wishing she’d stop treating me like a child if she claims I’m not one.

“Do you need me to concoct a spell for you? Something to help you sleep through the night dreamlessly?”

“No!” I whirl around to confront her, shaking my head vehemently. I tower over her slightly. My five-foot-seven frame carries inches over her five-foot-one form, but she doesn’t flinch as she folds her arms and throws her head back to look up at me. Nothing fazes Sadie, and I’m proud of her in this moment as she challenges me.

Not for the first time, I wish she were my real mother.

Who was my real mother? What happened to her? I shrug off the unbidden thoughts, hating that they pop up at the most inopportune times.

“No? You want to keep having bad dreams?” she barks at me. “You really want to torture yourself like that?”

“They aren’t that bad,” I insist, hating that I’m lying to her face.

I can tell she sees right through me, but I don’t want her to block the nightmares—because I know they aren’t nightmares at all. They’re memories, memories I’ve been trying to piece together for a year now. If she gives me a blocker, I’ll never uncover the truth about my family in its entirety.

“Fine,” Sadie relents, sensing that she’s not going to get anywhere with me this morning, at least not when she has to get to work. I barely hold back a deep, relieved exhale.

“Get dressed and come help me downstairs. I have to get going early today.”

I arch an eyebrow as she heads back toward the door. “Busy day at the hospital?” I ask. The moment I ask, I recognize how ridiculous the question is.

It’s a full moon tonight.

“These damned full moons are the bane of my existence. Humans never know how to behave themselves and get into all kinds of ridiculous accidents. It blows my damned mind.”

My heart skips at the mention of the lunar phenomenon, and I nod quickly, turning my face away before she can read my expression. I shouldn’t have forgotten. I’ve been counting down the days to tonight, but not specifically for the full moon itself.

“Are you coming?” Sadie asks impatiently.

“Yeah, I’ll be right down,” I promise.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Sadie’s concerned look, but she doesn’t speak again as she leaves, closing my bedroom door behind her. I exhale in her wake, grateful she let me off the hook this time.

Pursing my lips, I face myself in the full-length mirror behind the bedroom door and stare at my serious face. My sapphire irises are darker than usual this morning, the splay of Tennessee sunlight filtering through the half-drawn blinds, catching flecks of gold in my tussled strawberry-blonde mane. I feel like my intentions are written all over my face, even if Sadie hasn’t made a comment… yet. But I know her well enough to know she suspects something.

I can’t overthink this, and I shouldn’t leave her waiting when she’s already on edge with me.

Skipping my morning shower, I dress casually in a pair of leggings and an oversized rock band shirt before joining my adoptive mom in the kitchen.

Crystals and dried plants hang innocently over the kitchen island as she pours our coffee, scrawling a list for me. The comingling of sage and chamomile fills our quaint mountain kitchen as the sun pops over the horizon.

“I doubt I’ll be back from the hospital in time for the ceremony tonight,” Sadie tells me, flipping the notepad around on the wooden countertop. “But you can take my place at the coven tonight if I’m not there. I left a list of things for you to bring in case they call on you to do a ritual.”

I balk, eying the note. “Uh…” I mumble. “Sadie, they won’t call on me, if they let me in at all?—”

She cuts me off as if she’s been expecting my objection.

“Stop it!” Sadie interjects sharply, annoyance flashing in her eyes. “Of course they will. You’re my kid, and you’ve never had trouble accessing the coven before.”

I stare at her, deadpan, but this time it’s Sadie who avoids my gaze. A spark of pity overcomes me, and I swallow my feelings, not wanting to give her a hard time. She’s done so much for me, but she has to know better by now. Why won’t she let this go?

I’m not a witch, and the coven is never going to accept me as one, especially not after what’s been happening to me over the past year. Before I started shifting, Sadie convinced them that I belonged among them, but now?

“What, Poppy?” Sadie snaps when I continue to stare at her.

“You know what,” I reply flatly. “It’s like you said earlier—I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t have to protect me.”

She picks up her coffee mug and turns away, pretending to busy herself at the sink with the dishes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I roll my eyes and slide onto one of the stools next to the island, reaching for my own coffee mug. “They’re not going to let me in without you,” I tell her again. “Not during a full moon ritual.”

“You don’t know that unless you try,” she insists, but I change the subject before we can dissolve into a full-fledged argument on the matter.

“Anyway, I have other plans tonight,” I tell her honestly.

Glancing over her shoulder, she arches an eyebrow skeptically. “Oh yeah?” she fires back sarcastically. “Hot date?”

“Something like that.”

Scowling, Sadie spins back around to face me. “If you won’t go to the coven assembly, then stay home. I don’t need to tell you what kind of chaos happens during full moons. And it’s a blood moon tonight,” she warns me. “I’ll try to get out of the hospital on time, but…”

She trails off and shrugs. I don’t need to be told. Nurse Sadie rarely keeps to her schedule during regular shifts. A full moon guarantees she’ll be working overtime, if not double duty tonight.

Stupid humans indeed.

“You’re wrong about the coven, Poppy,” she adds after a moment of silence. “They’ve accepted you as my kid from the day I brought you home, ten years ago.”

I offer her a wavering smile and fight the urge to argue. After all Sadie’s done for me, I don’t want to give her any more grief. She wants to believe that the coven is as open as she is, but the truth is, they didn’t know what to make of the traumatized, lost amnesiac kid Sadie committed to raise, even if they did tentatively allow me to sit in. I’m still not sure if they did it out of respect for Sadie or fear of me. Maybe it’s a healthy combination of both.

“Call it my own insecurity then,” I say, taking a sip of my too-sweet coffee.

Sighing heavily, Sadie reaches for her oversized bag from the counter and hesitates. “I won’t force you to go to the assembly tonight. But whatever plans you have for later, make sure they end early. I don’t need to tell you that all the creatures are out in full force tonight, Poppyseed.”

“You be safe too,” I say, fake saluting her and she rolls her eyes, irritated by my nonchalance. I watch her collect her car keys and head out the back door of our little house, tucked in the back mountain woods.

I’m relieved to be on my own for the day, but I barely wait until the minivan disappears down the winding back road before I jog back upstairs to find my cell phone and text Circe.

Me: Are we still on for tonight?

Ambling back to the kitchen with my cell in hand, I keep my eyes glued to the screen, intuitively guiding myself back to my sweet-smelling hazelnut coffee. Already I feel the burst of caffeine rushing through my veins, but I know it’s more than that inspiring me today.

Today really is the day. I’m going to confront the Bloodstone Alphas. They’re going to tell me the truth about what happened that day.

A flutter of movement catches my peripheral vision, and I freeze as a crow perches directly in the kitchen window, his black eyes boring into me through the glass. For half a second, our eyes lock until I offer the bird a half-smile.

“Good morning,” I say cordially, accustomed to the messengers. But I sense this bird is different.

He screams at me furiously, stealing my breath, his memo unmistakable.

Do not do it. Don’t go.

My smile fades, and I drop my eyes back to the phone, willing my best friend to respond to my text, to reassure me that I have backup and that I’m doing the right thing. Stupid bird doesn’t know what the heck it’s talking about.

The crow caws again, his cries so shrill, I feel like he’s in the room with me.

“What?” I challenge defiantly, throwing my head back to look at him. “I have to do this! I deserve the truth, don’t I?”

The corvid hisses again, his black beak tapping ruthlessly at the glass.

“Stop that!” I snap. “Go away!”

The phone buzzes in my hand and I turn away from the window, trying to ignore the obnoxious sound at the windowpane. Relieved, I snatch up the cell, but my happiness is short-lived as I read the reply.

Circe: I can’t! My mom wants me at the full moon assembly tonight, Poppy ! Maybe we should wait until next month.

Again, the crow beats against the glass, his meaning undeniable. His wings flap dramatically. He’s trying to capture my attention, but I refuse to succumb to his ridiculous cry for attention.

He’s warning me, too. He’s telling me not to go, just like Sadie did.

But I have to go. The dreams have become more intense, more demanding. Every month that passes is a missed opportunity to learn the truth about my father—my family.

Chewing on the insides of my cheeks, I deliberately cast my eyes away from the insane bird pounding at the glass.

My phone dings again.

Circe: I don’t think you should go either, Poppy . Not tonight. Not alone.

Annoyance ripples through me, even though I try to shove it down. She promised me she’d go.

Circe is the only one who knows about my dreams and how they depict the Apex Alphas killing my father. She’s the only one I trust—well, besides Sadie, but I don’t want to burden my guardian with anything else until I’m sure I have answers for her. I can’t be sure that the dreams are real unless I confront the Bloodstone brothers, but to do that, I have to meet them face-to-face. And that will only occur at one of their monthly full moon events. From what I’ve gleaned about shifter culture, the Apex Alphas rarely leave their magically guarded town for any other reason.

It has to be tonight, which is why Circe and I planned this for weeks.

And now she’s backing out on me.

I have no idea how to respond to my best friend except with anger, but I can’t fault her for changing her mind, upset as I am.

The tapping on the window reaches a fever pitch as my phone chimes again. Annoyed, I ignore Circe’s texts and set the phone down on the counter, rising to shoo the bird away from the window. There’s too much happening around me now, and I’m getting sensory overload.

I wouldn’t have to go alone if you would come like you promised me, I think irritably, but a small part of me is relieved. If something goes wrong tonight and Circe gets hurt, no one will ever forgive me—nor will I forgive myself.

I shrug off the unbidden thought. This isn’t Circe’s problem or anyone else’s. I shouldn’t have asked her to come in the first place. She had no more business being at an Apex Alpha party than I do being at a coven assembly without Sadie.

Circe is smart to back out. I should do this on my own. I just need to make sure Circe doesn’t say anything to anyone and ruin my plan before I can see it through.

The crow taps so hard on the window, a slight crack appears on the glass, his screams deafening now.

“What is wrong with you?” I snap, knocking back on the glass to scare him off, but the bird is unflappable—no pun intended. My movements stop him for the moment, and we have a stare down for a solid thirty seconds.

“Stop it!” I tell him again. “Go away!”

Run. Run, Poppy, run!

The recurring nightmare floods back over me in a torrent, goosebumps erupting over my arms and legs to chill me to the bone. The crow’s eyes pierce into me, and I take a step back, my hand on my chest, blood spilling in my mind’s eyes as my gangly form sprints through the woods to escape the Apex Alphas chasing me.

The dragon.

The white wolf.

The lion.

Again, the bird screams as my phone rings, his wings extending, and he flies away, breaking the spell between us.

I exhale, my heart hammering in my throat.

“Hello?” I gasp into the phone.

“You didn’t answer my texts,” Circe complains in my ear nervously, her voice low. “Are you still going tonight? What are you planning on doing?”

I peer into the woods to see where the crow has gone, but he’s disappeared, leaving me alone in the cabin to collect my composure and my thoughts.

“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I can’t wait another month. I have to confront the Bloodstone brothers. This has gone on long enough.”

“You don’t even know if your dreams mean anything.”

“They do!” I insist.

“You can’t be sure of that when you’ve never discussed them with Sadie,” my ever-logical best friend cuts me off. “Maybe if you talked to her about it, she could shed some clarity on it.”

“No!” I growl. “If Sadie had something to tell me about my past, she would have by now. She has always been forthcoming with me, and I won’t worry her by bringing her into shifter business. I think this side of me makes her nervous enough as it is.”

“I still think you should talk to her about it.”

I balk slightly. “No! And you promised you wouldn’t either,” I remind her. “No matter what.”

“No, I won’t,” Circe agrees, and I make my way out of the kitchen toward the living room, flopping onto the sofa unceremoniously, my socked feet hanging over the arm of the L-section. I wish I had Sadie’s magic to ignite the fireplace from where I sit, but it’s not so cold today, anyway. Still, the crackle of the fireplace comforts me. “But I still think you should talk to her about the dreams, about what they mean and why you keep having them now when you never had them before.”

“Sadie doesn’t need to babysit me anymore,” I tell her flatly. “The less she knows, the better.”

“You’re just as stubborn as she is, you know that? Are you sure you’re not blood-related to her?”

Grimacing, I turn onto my side and prop the phone against my ear, peering out the back window and gasp, the same crow peering in through the back window now.

Seriously?

Sitting up, I ignore it this time and focus my attention on Circe.

“Unless Sadie is a secret shifter too, I doubt it,” I mumble, and Circe chuckles nervously.

“Right.”

An awkward silence falls between us, and I quickly think of a way to fill it and put my friend’s worried mind at ease before she can blow it all up in my face with her concerns.

“Well, it’s like you said—the dreams might not mean anything at all,” I tell Circe. “That’s why I’m going to the full moon party tonight. The Apex Alphas can give me answers.”

“You weren’t invited,” Circe mutters nervously.

“Every shifter is invited,” I insist firmly, even though I’m not sure if my intel is accurate. It’s only what I’ve been told by other shifters—none of whom are really friends or close to me. It’s not a ringing endorsement, but it’s all I have for now.

“Every pack is invited,” Circe corrects me. “And you don’t belong to a pack. We’re not even really sure if you’re a real shifter. You didn’t shift like normal shifters at fifteen. You don’t have a consistent animal that you shift into…”

She trails off, and I balk at the blunt reminder.

“Semantics,” I reply lightly, hoping she can’t hear the stress building inside me. “No one is going to notice me, anyway. There will be too many others there.”

Nervously, I twirl a long strand of strawberry blonde hair around my fingers, willing my pulse to slow, but every word we exchange only fuels my anxiety.

She’s going to talk me out of this. I can’t let her.

“How do you know that?” Circe asks. “You’ve never been to one of those parties. You only know what other shifters have told you. Maybe you’re being fed a pack of lies… no pun intended.”

I gulp back my nervousness and hold fast to my confidence. “It’s going to be fine, Circe. It’s in a public place, and I can slip out any time I want. I just want to see who these guys are, if they’re the ones I keep dreaming about.”

“And if they are? Then what?”

I draw in a shaky breath. “Then… then I’ll come home and decide my next steps,” I reply, but even as I say it, I’m not sure that’s the plan at all.

“I don’t like this,” Circe mumbles. “I wish you’d wait.”

“No!” I growl. “I’ve waited long enough already. I need answers, and tonight, I’m going to get them. I’m not putting this off again.”

The witch releases another loud, worried sigh in my ear, and I realize I’m stressing her out.

“Look,” I offer reassuringly, softening my tone. “I’m just going to go, check it out, and come home. I want to see if these Alphas are the same guys I see in my dreams.”

“You know they are,” Circe counters. “You checked them out online.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s not the same. I need to get some real sense for them, a vibe.”

“You’re going to confront them.”

“That would be dumb, Circe,” I tell her flatly and sincerely. “I’m not strong enough to take on a regular Alpha, let alone a pack of Apex shifters and their Alphas, during a full moon party. I’m not suicidal. This is purely a recon mission.”

My words seem to calm my best friend a bit, but her hesitation is tangible through the phone. “Will you check in with me?”

“Of course. Do you promise not to tell Sadie or anyone else where I’m going tonight?”

“The things I do for you, Poppy,” she grumbles, and I laugh.

“That’s why I love you best. I’ll call you tonight when I get home, all right?”

“No! I want you to text me when you get there, too. I want regular check-ins.”

Groaning, I agree. “Yes, mother,” I taunt her.

“Careful,” Circe warns me. “Or I will tell your mother.”

We say goodbye, and I realize my heart is pounding in my ears.

Run, Poppy, run!

My father’s voice calls out to me again in a whisper, but this time I’m wide awake. It had never been a dream, but a distinct memory, a warning, a premonition. My father has been reaching out to me from beyond the grave, trying to make me remember what I had long forgotten when Sadie found me wandering around these very woods at age twelve.

But it’s coming back to me again in a torrent, the lost years of my life, the missing puzzle pieces Sadie had likely kept from me for my own protection.

It’s like I told her earlier, though. I’m not a child of twelve anymore. I’m a fully grown woman, and I don’t need to be sheltered.

The Bloodstone Alphas killed my father, and I’m not hiding from that truth any longer.

I’m not suicidal, but I might be homicidal when I see the beasts responsible for making me an orphan.